Saturday, April 30, 2011

How to Waste Your Life 101

First, watch the video..

Here's the scoop: the fight allegedly happened when the two girls (one 14 and the other 18) walked into McDonald's with their boyfriends. One of the girls got upset that her man was flirting with the victim. I repeat: One of the girls got upset that her man was flirting with the victim. The two girls went WWE on the victim and beat her into a seizure while a McDonald's employee filmed it.

Now, watch Chrissy Lee Polis' summary of the event:

Now, these idiot girls not only face jail time for this assault, but they also face a hate crime because the lady was a transgender. So, with the hate crime, you're now looking at federal charges.

This is a classic example of How to Waste Your Life 101. Two ladies, who probably could have gone on to do something with their lives, are going to jail over a man. And make no mistake about it, this is all over a man. He flirted, now they're going to jail and deservedly so.

I'm not sure how the courts will handle the 14 year old, but the 18 year old may be in jail for a minute. I'm sure McDonald's will be sued for their role in it. They shouldn't have been obligated to intervene, but they could have at least called the police instead of filming it.

What do you think the sentence for these ladies should be? Do you think the employees are liable for not calling the police? Give me your take in the comments below.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Real Blogger Shore's Amazing Undercover Idol Intro

I know you're staring at that title and wondering if I've officially lost my mind.

Maybe. I was on the Yahoo! homepage and I noticed some "news" stories about one or two reality shows and it gave me an idea: I'm going to write a reality show idea about bloggers and pitch it to FOX!

It will be called: The Real Blogger Shore's Amazing Undercover Idol! (Did I hit every major reality show title in that?)  Basically, it's about some stereotypical bloggers who are stashed in a posh mansion in Helena, Montana. Why Helena? Because the mansions there are cheaper to rent than Beverly Hills. We're on a budget, you know? Now, stay with me.

This show will be very similar to MTV's "The Real World" which some people call the first traditional reality show. Like "TRW," you need an interesting blend of characters to sell the show. Here are my list of bloggers to join the mansion:

Bob (Squatlo Rant) is the show host. He'll give us the assignments and will be the person to announce the eliminations. How would we be eliminated? Each week, readers would vote on who is getting on their nerves the most.

Falen (Colorful Rants) is the drunk, bitter black chick. Every reality show has a bitter black woman. I think it's a requirement.  Anyway, she doesn't want to be bothered with anyone or anything. She hates being in the house, but she wants her beer and the couch.

Lynn (Thoughts of a Randomista) would be the resident flirt. Always speaking exactly what's on her mind no matter if it's appropriate or not. If it comes up, it comes out. This ideology also kick-starts most of the arguments amongst the house members.

Brandon (My Own Private Idaho) is the edgy one of the group. He always cracks the jokes that make everyone cringe. He's forever pushing the envelope with the ladies.

Sonia (LogAllot) is always full of advice, yet no one ever listens to her. Whenever the group is given an assignment, she takes the lead and spends the rest of the day trying to get everyone else to pay attention.

Michelle (Rantings of the Reckmonster) is always looking to froth (look the word up). She is volatile and is quick to swing on someone at the bar or in the club and have everyone in the group at the local police department for most of the night.

Michelle W (Mommy Confessions) just wants to go home. She hates being away from her family and spends all day talking about how much she regrets joining the show.

Alexandra (the Tsaritsa sez) is the free spirit. Whenever there's a group assignment, she's always straying away from the pack to take photos of herself or shopping for art.  She basically just enjoys the all-expense paid stay in a mansion and chooses not to contribute.

Me? I'm the cynical black guy! Duh!!! I'm the self-proclaimed know-it-all who thinks he can solve everyone's problem with sarcastic answers.  I just want everyone to get along although I'm secretly entertained by the drama.

With Bob hosting, we have eight contestants and four bedrooms. 

 How would you pair off the group to get the most volatile and interesting show?

Click below to start the first chapter of the most creative and craziest story ever told!
Squatlo Rant: The Real Blogger Shores Amazing Undercover Idol: Part I

I know you're staring at this post and wondering if I've officially lost my mind. I got through a lot of trouble just to feature a few bloggers that I like, huh? Check them out and click on all of their ads at least 25 times. It has so been ordered.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Royal Pain

There's a wedding happening across the pond? Do you care? Should you care?

I remember when Princess Di and Prince Charles did their thing back in the 80's. As a kid, it seemed cool to see a Disney movie come to life. I didn't know the significance of it nor how it affected me. But, it was still something I felt as if I needed to see.

25+ years later, I still don't know the significance of this "Royal Wedding." What I do know is that there will be specials all over the television and tons of online coverage. I've been told that I should appreciate the history and culture involved in the way the British monarchy works. I get that, but, I can't get with two people who are getting the "royal treatment" (pun intended) just because one of them is related to someone.

Is that why we love Paris Hilton? Is it because her dad was "somebody" then she is, too?  Kim Kardashian is the "Princess of Beverly Hills" because her dad won some high-profile court cases and was friends with O.J.? These ladies aren't royalty, they're royal pains. But, they've gained status as an elite here in the states for what their parents did. England has "princesses," we have "socialites." I think things are a bit backwards in the media.

Parents should be praised for raising a successful child. Children should not be praised for having successful parents.

So, I wish Kate Middleton and Prince William the best in their marriage, but, I don't think I'll be watching. I guess the one thing I can take from this is that it's been a long time since the U.S. has cared about something going on in another country that didn't involve an oil field.

Okay, it's up to you to convince me that this wedding should mean something to me... Go!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Nothing Fabulous About The Ghetto

Ghetto fabulous: The combination of bad taste,an urban aesthetic and desire to wear one's wealth. Basically, high priced but tacky clothing and accessories.

I got that from for those who need some pointers.

Being GF has been a way of life for some since way before I was born. The only difference between now and then is that we have a name for it. Back then, you just "lacked priorities." Now, you're "ghetto fab."

The crazy thing about it is that some a lot of people embrace it. They feel as if it's some sort of honor or something. You'll see them riding in a nice Escalade sitting on 26" rims blasting the newest jams on their stereo. They're wearing the newest brand name clothes and the brightest jewelry. To everyone who sees them (and don't know better), they are the kings of their block.
I wear two watches so I can show up twice as late.

To the people with common sense, they see the "wizard behind the curtain." (for those who don't understand that reference: what in the world did you watch as a child?) People with common sense knows that a man with all of those ghetto fabulous things probably stays with his parents because he can't afford his own place. If he is fortunate enough to have his own spot, then the lights are off because instead of paying the bill, he "made it rain" $500 on some strippers at the shake joint to entertain his boys.

GF Men are the equivalent of a peacock. They flash the bright, flashy colors because it's the only way to get a female's attention. They can't do it intellectually. They can't do it emotionally. They have to distract their prey before conquering it.

Guess what? It's worked for decades and it will continue to work since there are still a large total of women who are mesmerized by shiny things.  Women who will bypass the gainfully employed man in a '05 Honda Accord for the "odd job" having man who hasn't filed a tax return in six years, but has a 2011 Cadillac with a see-through aquarium trunk full of goldfish.

Eventually, after having a baby or two with the GF guy(s), they learn that they were fooled into thinking that they had something special in a guy who calls himself a "hustler," but doesn't have the work ethic of the word's literal meaning.
Only a GF man would endorse a product for free due to lacking the intelligence to creatively make money.

If there are any ladies out there who need some guidance on finding a good guy, just remember this: Real men entertain women. Ghetto fabulous men entertain each other.

So, when you approach a man, instead of looking at his earring that may be 24k, ask about his 401k. If he's over 25 and doesn't have one, do a 180 and run like Lindsay Lohan being chased by rehab security.

If you have a ghetto fabulous experience to share, please do so in the comments below...

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Charlie Sheen and Snooki Polizzi Get Married

Okay, no, they really didn't get married, but if they did, how huge would it be?  As much as I hate reality TV and how TMZ makes D-list "celebrities" into stars, I think Charlie and the Snookster need to get with me on this money-making opportunity!

Let's be honest, TV determines what we like and dislike.  Stupid, right?  Well, welcome to America: where most of us get our instructions from the boob tube!  Anyway, since we know this fact (and I challenge anyone to prove otherwise about TV thinking for us), let's continue to do even more manufacturing of a news story, shall we?

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi gained her fame by being a reality show participant on the now-famous "Jersey Shore."  Snooki, who is actually Chilean, but raised by Italian-American parents who adopted her, has gone from a no-name to a best-selling author and TV personality.  She gained her status through being argumentative, disrespectful, a drunk, and whoreish.  Any one of those qualities can get you 15 minutes of fame in today's society, but if you pull off all four, then you're a bonafide star!

Charlie Sheen, born Carlos Estevez, has turned a so-so acting career into a huge money with "Two and A Half Men."  A show that I've only watched once or twice, but it was a Top 25 show each week with the Nielsen Ratings.  "Chuck" Sheen made over $1.25 million dollars per episode of that show.  Per episode!  To celebrate, he did more hookers and blow than Keith Richards in his prime or Simon Adebisi on a work-release from "Oz."

So, why not put them together as a couple and let the cash roll in?  Charlie, Snooki, get with me and I'll make you some serious cash!  First you two need a couples' nickname a la "Bradgelina."  I'm thinking something simple like "Charlie Shore" or "Jersey Sheen."  Then you can release a sex tape showing how a Treasure Troll and a warlock get down (Bow-chicka-wow-wow).  Finally, you can spring your love child on the world!  Can you imagine how much magazines will pay for photos of Snooki and Charlie's child?

Introducing Snooki Charline Sheen - Age 3

Snooki Charline Sheen - Age 20
Think of the headlines: "No Class meets Shot Glass."  "A Bag of Snacks meets a Bag of Smack."  "Tan Lines meets Coke Lines."  Duh, winning!

Afterwards, I can work with Paula Abdul / Simon Cowell (their love child will be an air-head that wears tight shirts) and Kim Kardashian / Donald Trump (that child be will all booty and hairpiece).

What two TV personalities would you match in order to get America's tiger's blood racing?

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

You're Not A Gangsta

What is your definition of a "gangsta?"

If you described little boys running around with their pants around their ankles and shooting at people, then you're sadly mistaken. If you thought of any rapper that you've ever heard on the radio, then you may need to crack open a history book now and then.

I'm going to explain the difference between a "thug" and a "gangster" ("gangsta" is a term rappers coined to make them seem harder than what they actually were).

First, let's discuss thugs:

Is there anything about this photo that says "masculine?"
thug: a cruel or vicious ruffian, robber, or murderer.

This is what we see daily. The guys walking around trying to "look hard" and act as if they don't have a care in the world are thugs. Thugs are rough, but they're dumb. They don't make the effort to plan the dirt that they do, they just do it. Thugs are the smash-and-grab guys that break in your home, pull guns at gas stations, and wear Obama masks while robbing banks.

They are generally broke which is why they're constantly pulling off multiple petty crimes to "stay fly." They sell weed, crack, etc. just to be able to put gas in their SUV sitting on 26" rims. Although they may appear to be kings of their block, they're actually rulers of nothing. They terrorize a small group and often mistake that group's fear for respect.

Thugs generally work for gangsters.

gangster: a group of persons associated for some criminal or other antisocial purpose.

These guys still exist, but we don't see them.  They thrive on being anonymous because the spotlight threatens their very existence.  They may be well-known in their local communities, but it's not from them flaunting their worth. They develop reputations from getting things done (be it good or bad).
Al Capaone was the definition of a gangster.

Gangsters (also considered Mafia, mob, or organized crime), have a method to their madness. Things are planned and not done impulsively. That's why they've been successful for centuries while thugs generally have a shelf life of around six years (before long-term incarceration or death). Gangsters don't do petty crimes. They get thugs to do petty crimes for them and bring them the money. It's very similar to a pimp's treatment of a ho. Gangsters were so big in society at one time that it was an all-out war by the U.S. government to stop them.

When's the last time you saw a U.S. Amendment being directly affected by something a thug did?

Never. Thugs are local. They're not worldwide like gangsters. The reason gangster life is called "organized crime" is because they are just that. "Organized."

With any organization, you have rules. Here are the Sicilian Ten Commandments:
1. No one can present himself directly to another of our friends. There must be a third person to do it.
2. Never look at the wives of friends.
3. Never be seen with cops.
4. Don't go to pubs and clubs.
5. Always being available for Cosa Nostra is a duty - even if your wife is about to give birth.
6. Appointments must absolutely be respected.
7. Wives must be treated with respect.
8. When asked for any information, the answer must be the truth.
9. Money cannot be appropriated if it belongs to others or to other families.
10. People who can't be part of Cosa Nostra: anyone who has a close relative in the police, anyone with a two-timing relative in the family, anyone who behaves badly and doesn't hold to moral values.

Now looking at those 10 requirements of being a gangster, do you see the things I've highlighted that absolutely don't apply to any thug we see on the streets today?

The Mafia is not a myth. Gangsters still exist. We just don't see or hear about them often. Why? Because they know how to handle business. They don't buy flashy vehicles to attract cops. They don't "make it rain" at the club because they don't do clubs. Again, the attention thing.

Sure, the mob boss may flaunt his wealth a little, but that's because he's untouchable. His funds may have been achieved through dirty means, but he's laundered his cash and cleaned it up through a side business. His i's are dotted and his t's are crossed. People may know he's crooked, but they can't prove he's crooked.

Lil' Rooster from around the way will have $3,000 cash in his pocket, a semi-automatic weapon in the trunk of his car, six dime bags of weed on the back seat, and then will run a red light in a hot pink Escalade sitting on 26's. Five minutes later, he's face down on the pavement while one of the boys in blue gives him a new set of matching bracelets for his wrists.

Do you see the difference now?

So, don't go thinking that holding a gun sideways makes you a gangster. It doesn't. It makes you a thug. Besides, anyone holding a gun is scary. Even a two year old flailing a gun in your direction is scary.

Gangsters can ruin your life without touching you. Gangsters go after your family. Gangsters own politicians and police. The difference between a thug and a gangster is the same difference between shooting a bullet and throwing it.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Scooby Doo Arrested for Assaulting Ghost

What is the deal with cartoons these days? What happened to cartoons being cheesy, mindless, comedic shows for kids? My favorite cartoon as a child was "Tom and Jerry." Critics said the show was too violent and have since edited tons of what I consider "cartoon violence."

Well, cartoons have taken a whole new meaning in the 21st Century. Let's see today's version of "cartoon violence" with this Stewie and Brian clip from "Family Guy:"

All of a sudden, T&J doesn't look so bad, does it? In a span of a couple of decades, cartoons have gone from clip #1 to clip #2. Not all cartoons are kid-friendly these days.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that this just started in our lifetime. Way back in the day, they had what were considered at the time as "adult cartoons."
"Betty Boop" hit the scene during the Depression Era of the 30's as animation's first sex symbol.  

"Fritz the Cat" came along in 1972 and became the first U.S. cartoon to get an "X rating."

1981 spawned "Heavy Metal." This was the first adult cartoon that I remember seeing (8 years later as a college freshman).

1989 started TV's era of adult cartoons. Enter "The Simpsons." If you were at least 13 years old in 1989, then you should remember the controversy surrounding this show. FOX was already pushing the envelope with the likes of "Married with Children," and protesters were up in arms over this unruly, spike-haired boy by the name of "Bart." Little did any of us know that it would be considered tame by today's standards.

After "The Simpsons" came "Ren & Stimpy" which led to "Beavis & Butthead" which led to "South Park" and so on and so on...

So, what's next? Will we see some modern day Scooby Doo arrested for assaulting a ghost? Does animation's favorite crime-fighting dog turn into a "Matrix" meets "The Transporter" type of action show where ghosts are assassinated?

That remains to be seen.
Mess with this pooch or his crew and get "Scooby Smacked!"

The purpose for this post is this: the world constantly evolves and it's not always for the better. It's imperative that parents recognize how the world has changed and find a way to change with it. You can no longer rely on TV to babysit your child while you get chores done or try to take a quick nap. You may think you're turning on a harmless cartoon and the next thing you know, your child is dropping the n-word on people because he / she was watching "The Boondocks."

Take the time to not only screen what your child watches, but watch it with them. That way if anything mature is shown, you're there to put things in perspective or to offer an explanation. Make sure he / she is watching "Dora the Explorer" and not "Dora Gets Explored." You're laughing, but don't think it can't happen some day. Maybe 20 years from now, but it could. (Okay, I made that one up, but you get my point. You know, I wouldn't doubt if that was some actual porn title. If not, I'm suing the first person to use it.)

So, despite seeing cartoonish figures and maybe even famous faces, don't assume that a show is good for your six year old. Give it a test run yourself before allowing others to see it. Know what's on TV at all times so your kid won't grow up to be the Einstein from "Robot Chicken" instead of the Einstein from the history books.

(Warning: Language may be inappropriate for the sensitive)

Wednesday, April 13, 2011


For the old school hip-hoppers, I'm sure that you are very familiar with the title of this post.

Cash Rules Everything Around Me was a Wu-Tang chant for the ages. If you're curious or just need a flash back, then click here and you won't be disappointed.

Oh, how I miss real rap.

But, I digress. Let me tell you a story about a lady named Meghan Brown. This bombshell Florida beauty queen had a run-in with an intruder. Let me allow you to read the details from
Dude still has bruises under both eyes

"On March 12th, the former Miss Tierra Verde pumped four bullets into Albert Hill, an intruder who broke into her home.

After Hill, 43, forced himself into the mansion she shares with her fiancé, they began to scuffle. During the robbery, Hill apparently demanded money and punched Brown’s fiancé, Bobby Planthaber, repeatedly in the face. Upon seeing her fiancé struggle with the intruder, Brown grabbed her .38-caliber pink pistol and fired, killing Hill.

Although the "modern day Stacey Dash" and her fiancé insist the robber, Albert Hill, was a stranger, the police aren’t so sure. Even though he’s dead, the investigation is ongoing."

Now, that's not quite the entire story. At least not the part I want to discuss. It seems that Meghan recognizes that her window for 15 minutes of fame has opened from this tragic event. Shortly after her shooting incident, guess who's doing photo shoots with hopes of doing ads for the NRA and / or Smith & Wesson?

How many guys are going out to buy a gun right now based solely on this ad?

I won't lie. I bought six guns myself after seeing this. Anyway, here's Brown's take on things,“I wanted to make some money. I wanted to capitalize on this. I’m the perfect example of why women should have a gun,” Brown told The Daily.

Hey, at least she's honest on both accounts. She admitted to wanting to make a few coins off of the shooting and she was right in saying women should be able to defend themselves. Although Meghan doesn't necessarily need a gun to defend herself. A year ago, she went WWE on her fiancé to the point that he had to call the police for help. She did a Chris Brown (any relation?) on him and attacked him in parked car with blows to the face and chest. She said she only slapped him because he put her dog out of the car in an attempt to get her out since he was breaking up with her.

Side note: how did this 43-year old chinless, Gumby look-a-like pull a nugget like Meghan? Guys, it just goes to show that any man can look like a nickel and find a "dyme" long as he has some game.

Does Meghan deserve her shot at fame? Should the killing of an intruder lead to her being a sexy spokeswoman for a gun company?

What do you think?

Thank You, Honey

Today, The Mrs. and I celebrate our 9th wedding anniversary. I want to give props to the woman who has put up with me and my ways for the past nine years (plus the four years we dated).

She has helped me improve upon myself and become a better man. Not by turning me into some sort of science project, but by recognizing the things that I do well and supporting them. She does not try to make me into something that I'm not. She allows me to be me and that's one of the most important things that can be done in a relationship. The moment you try to change someone who doesn't want to be changed, you'll have conflict.

So, I wanted to take the time to take her for being in my corner. Thanks for listening to me bounce blog topics off of you when you would rather be reading. Thanks for providing me with blog topics from time-to-time as well. Thanks for being the most wonderful woman that I guy could ask for in a mate.

The Mrs. eating cake at a friend's wedding. This is probably my favorite photo of her. She will hate me for posting it.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Sexy, Cute, or Both?

This post isn't as long as it looks. It just contains a lot of "visual aid."

Ladies, have you ever been out with a friend-guy, boyfriend, or husband and catch them looking at a woman who you don't think is attractive? Do you wonder to yourself, "why is he checking her out?"

Well, a lot of women don't know the difference between "sexy" and "cute," so I'm going to help you out. "Sexy" is what will make a man develop "PMYS". Click on that word and Dr. Squatlo will explain how that disorder can affect a man's brain (and wallet). "Sexy" will also attract a man and leave you wondering what he sees in her. You may think she looks like a slut, or a mean girl, or whatever. But, for some reason she has his attention.

Here are a few examples of "sexy" below:
Angelina Jolie

Megan Fox
Lil' Kim
All three of these ladies are Hollywood sex symbols. Men of all ages and races would take advantage of any opportunity to get with any of these three. Why? Attitude. Sexy is all about attitude. Notice the devious look of all three. By no means is it "cute." All three of these ladies have a "bad girl" type of attitude. They even have an "I'll do something bad to you" look about them which to a guy translates to mean, "I will curl your toes until your toenails are scraping your heels."

Would any of you men take any of these ladies home to meet your mother? Probably not. Would you introduce them to your boys? Definitely. Would you sell your blood to make enough money for a one hour romp in the hourly Mustang Motel for any of the three? Absolutely.

Ladies, sexy women will get your man to cheat on you without even putting forth much of an effort.

He won't marry her, but he'll crave her. He won't be in love, but he'll be in lust. He may even hate her at times, but he can't stay away. Like Pookie from the New Jack City movie, "it be callin' me!" (If you haven't seen NJC, then you need NetFlix in your life!)

Moving on to "cute." These are the women who make your man act awkward. He's all smiles around her. If his smile were any wider, his ears would get wet. He babbles/stutters when she's around (even in your presence). He's clumsy and even may be prone to shying away from direct eye contact. Why? Because she's adorable. She amazes him and actually makes him nervous.

Now, on to examples of cute:
Kaley Cuoco
Katy Perry
Leighton Meester
Three more Hollywood stars! The difference? These women are cute. These are the women who if you saw them attempt a sexy pose, it would almost be comical or uncomfortable-looking. They're so adorable that it's actually difficult for them to be sexy. Again, it's the attitude. It's not as aggressive as the sexy women from above nor are their facial expressions aggressive either. Their faces are inviting and pleasant. This is the woman a man could take home to mom or introduce to his homeboys without a real fear of them trying to bang her behind his back. She looks too wholesome for them to try it.

Ladies, cute women will get your man to fall in love with them without even putting forth much of an effort.

Okay, so what happens when you combine the lustful with the adorable? I won't even add name captions below because you should know all three of these women. Your man does. Below are three prime examples of a sexy/cute combo package that every man wants:


Do you see the combination? It's no coincidence that three of the most beautiful women in the world not only have the ability to bring a man to his knees in the bedroom, but also be the cause of him sticking out his chest as a proud man when he's in public with her. Ladies, if a man comes across a woman with the ability to change between "bedroom eyes" and the "innocent look" at will, then he will try every trick in the book to get her. Your man will steal from your checking account to get her.

What's so ironic about it is that the odds are you were that lady at one time. When he first saw you, he was attracted to the sexiness. He couldn't take his eyes off of you. I'm a living witness to it. I still stare at The Mrs.' legs when she wears heels.

After spending time with you, he grew to love your cute personality. You were caring and nurturing and made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Another testimony from me: I still get butterflies in my stomach when I'm typing on the computer and The Mrs. surprises me with a hug from behind.

So don't think that being "both" is out of the realm of possibility. There's an old term that a lot of women scoff at, but it's absolutely true: "A man wants a lady in the streets and a freak between the sheets."

Now, that doesn't necessarily mean she has to be a church lady in public and porn star in bed. It means that when you're out in public (with or without him, you still represent him), he doesn't want to be embarrassed. He doesn't want his friends, work buddies, or even other women talking about how you act "less than a lady" or that you wore Crocs and pajamas to Wal-Mart. When you're not in public and with him at home, he wants you to be that person he craves. The one he can't get enough of. The one he risks a speeding ticket for every day to get home to after work because just the thought of you makes him feel good both emotionally and physically.

So, where do you start? Well, first of all, to look sexy, you have to feel sexy. If you don't think you're sexy, then why would he?

To be cute, you have to be adorable. Don't maintain a scowl that frightens children. Don't yell or snap at him over stupid stuff. Be affectionate and playful. Isn't the idea to make him want to be around you more rather than less?
The ultimate example of "both."
So, which one will you be? Sexy, cute, or both? I've explained the results of them all, so it's up to you to choose and accept the results of each.

To get there, you have to work on your attitude. You will also be surprised of the affect it will actually have on his attitude. If you want your man to work harder to impress you and show you that he's worthy of being with you, then do something that causes another man to look and watch the light bulb come on in your man's head.

Okay, I lied when I said that this post wasn't that long. It's hard to be brief when you're giving women a guide to men.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Taking This "I Love My Pet" Thing Too Far

Welcome to Chateau le Bark. Two stories and A/C.
Let me start this post by saying, "I love animals." As long as they're not trying to eat me, I'm cool with them. I don't go where they are and I don't want them up in my area. I especially love domesticated animals. I'm not a huge fan of cats, but I like dogs. Having said that, some people just take their love of animals way too far...

Some ladies an acquaintance knows showed their love of animals recently, but at the expense of a co-worker. One of the ladies (we'll call her "Jane") of the group lost a child via miscarriage. Of course any time someone experiences that, it can be very devastating, especially to the mother. Well, of course the other ladies in the group offered Jane verbal sympathies to help her overcome her loss.

Weeks later, another one of the ladies in the group (we'll call her "Jill") experienced a loss. Her dog, of almost 17 years, had died. Not only did Jill receive the sympathy of her co-workers, they also chipped in to take her out to lunch and bought her a sympathy card.

A great gesture, but what about Jane? Why did she only get a pat on the back for the loss of her child yet Jill got lunch and a card? How do you think Jane felt knowing that all she got was essentially a hug, now these heifers are showing up at her desk asking her to chip in on someone's lunch over Fifi?
Dogs don't even have to walk any more.
Another example: there is a charity located in Jackson that has a bin for clothing that can be donated to an abused women's shelter. The bin normally contains used clothing for women and children who may live in the shelter while they try to restart their lives abuse-free. Directly next to this bin, is another bin owned by the Animal Rescue League. This bin accepts donations to animal shelters to provide the animals with blankets, toys, food, etc.

A friend of my uncle's works for the women's shelter. He says that whenever he goes down to collect the items from the women's bin, he notices how much fewer the items are in comparison to the animals' bin. He says the animals' bin is always full and even has items stacked around the bin because they couldn't fit inside. Most of the items still have price tags on them because they're brand new.

Bottom line is: it bothers me a bit to know that there are some people in the world who care about animals more than humans. I asked a Facebook question once about "if you were trapped on an island with a stranger and your dog and you could only save one, which would it be?"

I was astounded by the number of people who said they would save their dog over the stranger. Despite the fact that it's a human life, it carried no value to them. The excuses were, "well, dogs are like family members" or "dogs are so loyal."

Look, I understand the importance of a pet. I had a dog for 12 years that died when I was 15 and it really weighed heavily on me. I'm not numb to the fact that pets are a significant part of our lives. But, I think that if a person is willing to put a pet's well-being over a human's (excluding abusers of children who have no value to society in my opinion), then I can't bring myself to understand that line of thinking.

What's your take on this? If you're an animal lover and you think I'm off base, then I would welcome your argument to convince me to think otherwise.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Don't Get Mad At Me!

It's a girl!  No.  Wait.
Oh, no you don't! You have the audacity to get mad at me? Don't you know that I'm a life referee and I call it like I see it?

I understand I'm now in the "old school" demographic. I get that now that I'm in my late 30's, that things that make sense to 20-somethings are just plain dumb to me. Because of the generation gap disconnect, I tend to ignore or accept some (and I stress "some") things that I do not understand.

What I will absolutely, positively not apologize for is the following:

If you child has long hair and I mistake him for a her, then it's your fault, not mine.

Look, I know that the current trends for men's hair are getting longer. I'm seeing guys with braids (not dreadlocks, there's a difference) and pony tails all over the place now. That's their business. It's your hair, you can do what you want (if you're grown).

But, when it comes to little boys, I can't stand the sight of it. It's not cute (to me). It makes them look like little girls. And if I see you and your kid at the mall and I say, "that's a cute little girl," then I don't want to see an ounce of of hint that I've some how insulted you or the boy. You can tactfully correct me and we can move on from there, but if one snarky remark comes from your parted lips, then I'll be completely honest with you and tell you that "he looks like a girl."
Oh, I'm talking white boys, too.
Don't expect an apology because you chose to make your boy look feminine. And don't say the boy wanted his hair like that because boys can't make grown up decisions. That's why they're called children and not adults! They probably want a beer, too, but only a dummy would give them one.

And we wonder why these "boys" are growing up soft. Well, I don't wonder. I know why they're soft. They're conditioned to be pretty at such a young age. A society of metrosexuals so to speak. If a boy spends one minute of his childhood getting his hair done then then the odds are stacked against him being a man.
I thought Bow Wow was a girl until his 2nd album.
I'm just saying. Don't like it? Comment below and convince me otherwise.

Monday, April 4, 2011


After almost three weeks of Facebook posts, e-mails, tweets, and blog posts, we have finally reached the climax of the event!

The 2011 Thank, Q for Bloggers Tournament winner and recipient of exclusive Stunner Award goes to Brandon of My Own Private Idaho!

Brandon had a tough road to the championship having to go through EmDottie, TOAR, Squatlo, and finally, Mommy Confessions. The final score: 332-280. Over 600 votes!

As for Michelle, a very valiant effort as her followers brought in voting surges that made things very interesting and at times, unpredictable. Michelle can take consolation in the fact that she will leave the competition with almost 40 more followers joining her army than when the event started 18 days ago. For her efforts, she will receive the exclusive award of the Stunner Runner-Up banner.
Congratulations to Michelle and Mommy Confessions

Brandon will claim the title of The Stunner Champion for the next 365 days! Idaho, your guy has brought home a title to your state!

I think it would be great if all of The 2011 Thank, Q for Blogger Tournament participants comment below with final thoughts and congratulations to the first-ever recipient of The Stunner Award!

60 Minutes or Less...

*** ONLY ONE HOUR TO GO... ***

The winner of The Stunner will also receive a $25 Visa gift card.

Ladies and gentlemen... in the red corner, with a record of 3-0, out of Philadelphia, PA... from Michelle!

Here is her championship post! Click to open her post in another window and see if it's worthy of your vote!

In the blue corner, also with a record of 3-0, raised in Riverside, CA...from Brandon!

Here is his championship post! Click to open his post in another window and see if it's worthy of your vote!

The winner will get their name added to The Stunner Award to be displayed exclusively on their blogsite! Voting ends 11:59 PM Eastern Time on Monday, April 4th!

Yeah. GREAT Times!

The Consolation Round is over and the winner of the Three-For-All is Jillsmo of "Yeah. Good Times."

Jillsmo was able to hold off Charli of Man, Wife, and Dog and Sonia of LogAllot with a score of 55-43-38.

Congrats to Jillsmo for rebounding from being ousted from The Thank, Q for Bloggers Tournament and finishing strong to take the consolation tournament!

Jillsmo will be awarded with this exclusive "Three-for-All" championship banner for her efforts!

A special thanks goes to Charli not just for filling in at the last moment, but putting up a heck of a fight and making this Three-for-All exciting to the very last hour and finishing 2nd!

Props to Sonia for coming back from a large deficit and making things a true "Three-for-All!"

Lastly, but most importantly, a very special thanks to the followers of Yeah. Good Times. and other voters who supported Jillsmo and propelled her to the Three-for-All consolation title!

Ladies, we would all love to hear your final thoughts in the comments below.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

The Stunner Championship Begins Now!

* NEW * The winner of The Stunner will also receive a $25 Visa gift card.

Ladies and gentlemen... in the red corner, with a record of 3-0, out of Philadelphia, PA... from Michelle!

Here is her championship post! Click to open her post in another window and see if it's worthy of your vote! ---------------------------------------------->

In the blue corner, also with a record of 3-0, raised in Riverside, CA...from Brandon!

Here is his championship post! Click to open his post in another window and see if it's worthy of your vote!

The winner will get their name added to The Stunner Award to be displayed exclusively on their blogsite! Voting ends 11:59 PM Eastern Time on Monday, April 4th!

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