The Double Standards of Sex

There are a ton of double standards in the world when it comes to men and women, but the double standards of sex seems to get people riled up the most. 

When a guy is having sex with a bunch of women, he’s just "being a guy". But when women have sex with a bunch of dudes, she’s going through a "hoe phase" or a "hot girl summer". 

Fair or foul? 

Check out the opinions of this group of people and comment with your conclusion.

Do We Over-Sexualize Female Role Models?

How many mainstream female celebrities out there aren't hot?

Did you come up with anyone other than Condoleezza Rice?  :)

Okay, I shouldn't pick on Condi. I asked that question from a cynical standpoint.  Let me try again...

When's the last time you saw a mainstream female singer who wasn't hot?  I'll wait...

I recently read a quote by singer, Rosie Lowe, that talked about how Beyonce and Rihanna reinforce stereotypes because they sexualize their bodies to promote their music.  Therefore, they are bad role models for young women.

First of all, I see what Rosie is saying, but I don't agree with it.  Entertainers are just that.  Stop making them into more than what they are.  Although that's very hard to do when adults are slobbering over these celebs even more so than the kids.  Have you seen Facebook timelines after a Beyonce video gets released?  It will make you think that Jesus has returned.  And that's not Bey's fault one bit.  If her body and how it moves brings in just as much money as her voice, then why shouldn't she make money off of them both?

Most female celebs probably couldn't care less how the use and display of their bodies affect your daughters as long as your kid is watching them and buying their products.  The responsibility falls on mom and dad to raise their kids, not some R&B singer who doesn't even know that your child exists.  Parents should teach their child that twerking on the Billboard Awards for a paycheck is different than twerking at the club for a drink.  Much different.

But, let me return back to the topic: do we over-sexualize female role models?  Yes.

We have even gone as far as commenting on the bodies of the current and the previous First Ladies of the United States.  Even when some sick-in-the-head female teacher takes advantage of one of her underaged male students, what's the first thing that comes out of some guy's mouth: "Man, she's hot enough to have any dude she wants, why does she want a kid?"

No woman is off-limts to being rated.

Will it change?  Not in my lifetime.  Should it change?  Absolutely.  No one should look at a successful, good-looking woman and wonder if she's actually achieved her status by hard work or was it given to her because of her looks?  After all, we don't rank men based on looks.  Do you know how many ugly dudes are on TV making a nice career for themselves?  Steve Buscemi is worth $35 million dollars!

That's completely unfair to women and we need to find some way to stop it.  Talent is talent.  Looks need not apply.

Steve Buscemi

Why Is Sex No Longer Sacred?

I was watching the "Amber Rose Show" just recently.  In all honesty, I was watching the show for all of the wrong reasons.  I just think that Amber Rose is smoking hot, so I decided to tune in.  But the show was so awful that I know that I won't be watching it again.

The entire show was basically Amber Rose asking women questions about sex.  Women were disclosing everything from how many side dudes they've had to being on top during sex.  Some people call it "women empowerment" and other people call it "women being promiscuous".  Whatever you want to call it is totally dependent on your upbringing.

As for my upbringing, I was taught that sex was something sacred.  You didn't share what you did with everyone.  It was deemed disrespectful to your partner to discuss your sexual experiences with them to someone else.

Fast forward to today and everyone is doing it.  People are getting on TV, radio, and social media and discussing their sex lives like they're talking about their day at work or something.  I watched Amber Rose talk about sex for her entire show except for the last segment (which was only a couple of minutes long).  She "interviewed" rapper, T.I., and asked him his favorite sex position, the craziest place he's had sex, and if he masturbated.

I was thinking to myself, "how in the world are kids going to not be teen parents if all they see on TV is how much fun sex is?"

I guarantee you that there are a ton of kids under 18 years old watching Amber's show and shows like hers.  It's not like parents pay attention to what their children watch.  A ton of the girls watching probably want to be Amber Rose and a ton of boys want a girl like her.  She has a glamorous lifestyle and makes a lot of money for basically doing nothing truly talented.  Who wouldn't want that life?

But, back to the topic... Sex isn't sacred any more.  People will tell you all of their business without any thoughts to how you feel about it or how their partner would feel if they found out.  And if you feel awkward discussing it with them, then you're looked at as someone abnormal.  A conversation that may have been reserved to close friends and siblings is now something you can get from a coworker you barely know.

In roughly 30 years, the United States has done a 180 degree turn around in morals.  Sex is "empowering" and not something kept private.  Cursing is simply just talking and not something done out of the public's earshot.  Being reckless with your life is no longer scolded, but it is praised by everyone for you "expressing yourself" (and sometimes rewarded with money and fame).

Nothing is sacred any more.  TV has dumbed down in 30 years what took hundreds of years to create.  The end result is me watching Amber Rose ask a woman if she has a side dude (actually, "dude" wasn't the d-word that she used) and this young lady must have named 10+ guys.  She was applauded for it.

To each their own, I guess.  It makes me wonder what conversations are parents having in households across the U.S. with their children?  Is this type of thing even being discussed?  Based on what I'm seeing on TV, it is being discussed.  Just by celebrities instead of parents.

7 Ways to Improve Your #Sex Life... Guaranteed!

I'm going to keep this simple because relationships aren't as complex as we make it out to be. They only become complicated when one person doesn't put forth an effort to please the other one. It only takes one person to ruin a couple, right?

Here's a list of things you can do to spice up your sex life:

1. Cook. 'Nuff said.

2. Clean. Who wants to come home to a messy house and have to worry about cleaning it up?

3. (If applicable) Make sure that the kids are accommodated. Check homework, give them a bath, set up play date, etc.

4. Shut up and give your mate some quiet time. Don't bombard them with constant chatter. That's what your friends are for.

5. Be interested in what he/she has to say. Stop thinking that your stories are important and no one else's is.

6. Gifts, gifts, gifts. The amount of the gifts aren't important.

7. (If you live together) Pay your share of the bills in a timely fashion. Don't have them wondering if something is going to be disconnected because of your lack of responsibility.

How do all of these things improve your sex life? All of them are stress relievers! Doing any combination of at least six things on that list means that your mate has less on his/her plate in which to be concerned. And what do all of us get in the mood for when we have no worries in life? You're welcome!

50 Shades of Hype

Let me first say that the title is not in reference to the movie itself. It's in reference to the critics who have come out against the movie... I saw "50 Shades of Grey" last Friday. It's not the type of movie that I'd see at the theater, but I was out with The Lady and she had interest in it. The night before there were local news stories galore of people boycotting the movie because it promoted domestic violence. Well, to those people I have to say, "you obviously didn't see the movie."

I think that they're basing that complaint on either what they've heard or read. There were people who said that the movie promoted lust and sin. Well, to those people I have to say, "you're absolutely right." LOL! However, so do a majority of primtetime TV shows you same critics enjoy. John 8:7 much? Be consistent is all I'm saying. No one likes a "hypo-Christian" (hypocrite).

As far as the movie goes, I actually enjoyed it. I've never read the book nor do I have a desire for that, but the movie was a solid 7 out of 10 for me. The first hour was really good as the characters developed. The second hour kind of dragged on a bit too long for me, but it wasn't bad by any means. It just kind of lost my interest for a bit. However, I think that the average person would enjoy the movie as the main characters both played their roles very well. I would definitely be interested in the sequel.

To speak on the domestic violence angle, there wasn't any. Maybe the book plays out differently, but the movie didn't have any domestic violence or degradation of women whatsoever. Everything was consensual and nothing was ever forced. In fact, Christian Grey, the lead character, constantly gave Anastasia Steele options to leave at any time if she didn't approve of something. Aside from some "stalkerish" tendencies Christian had, the movie wasn't something worth protesting in my opinion.  Again, I'm a guy, so take it for what it's worth. However, The Lady seemed to agree with me on that point.

Now, the sex. I know that's what a lot of people who have yet to see the movie want to know the most about. In my opinion, the sex was no more than what I've seen in movies like "Fatal Attraction" with Michael Douglas or Glenn Close. It definitely wasn't as graphic as Lisa Bonet and Mickey Rourke in "Angel Heart." I still have nightmares about that one. It was just movie sex. Not as bad as Cinemax, but bad enough for those under 17 to not be allowed to see it. No frontal nudity or anything.  In fact, if it weren't for the nudity, this movie wouldn't have been any more provocative than an episode of "Scandal" or "How to Get Away with Murder."

So, let's do away with the "50 Shades of Hype" for those trying to condemn this movie. It's just a movie. And if you are chomping at the bit to criticize it then can you at least see it first? Do what a majority of social media participants don't do and make an informed decision.

XX vs. XY Presents @DirtyinPublic

Welcome to another installment of "XX vs XY" as I mix it up with a female guest blogger! This is a series that you will see every now and then that takes a view point from a woman's perspective and puts it against my viewpoint from a man's perspective. The guest and I won't necessarily be challenging each other on a topic, but instead will be discussing it from our points of view. It could be two totally different angles on the same subject which will display how the genders' minds work. 

Who is this female guest I'm speaking of? She's Marrie Lobel from the award-winning Dirty in Public website! She has a great blog and she's one half of an amazing podcast on relationships called Mr. n Mrs. Romance. So, without further ado... Take it away, Marrie...

People Who Pass Judgment on Sexual Behavior

@DirtyinPublic

Threesomes, BDSM, or public sex; when it comes to sexual fantasies, where’s the line between cool kink and scary freak? From my observations judgments lay between what an individual has done and what scares the shit out of them. Arbitrary verdicts about what is “normal” or “nauseating” are made based on feeling aroused or utterly disgusted. Meaning judgments aren’t passed out of reverence for a 3000 year old book or a respected family member's teaching but from personal experience and pleasure.

When discussing sexual fantasies and desires among consenting adults, more can be said about those passing judgment than those who respectfully explore their sexuality. In reality there is no “normal” and qualifying an erotic thought as deviant, atypical or abnormal depends on the person being asked and when a large sample were asked their answers revealed there is no typical. Of course there are pathological sexual behaviors; those that involve non-consent or pain to achieve sexual satisfaction, for example, but those are not what most typically encounter and rarely harbor sanctuary.

Frankly, when someone judges another’s sexual desire or behavior as “bad” or “abnormal” I feel it exposes their own insecurities about their own sexuality and their inability to open their mind to alternative ways of thinking. By saying this I’m not encouraging anyone to betray their own comfort levels but to accept others are different. Simply chalk it up to sexual compatibility…or lack thereof. 

It’s true the key to any relationship involving sexual intimacy, whether it’s a one night stand or long term commitment, requires both involved to feel chemistry, consent, respect, and pleasure; however, when it comes to pleasure, each of us experience it differently. One person’s naughty can be the others’ nice. So, next time rather than playing Santa (unless that’s the kink) by banishing them to the naughty list consider freeing your mind and letting go of judgments.

Now it's my turn. There are a lot of people in the world.  That means that there are a lot of different tastes and preferences.  Who am I to judge or say that someone's preference of something is wrong because it doesn't equal mine?  Especially when it comes to sex.

I'm from the Bible Belt state of Mississippi where sex is often taught to us as being a bad thing.  It's rarely taught as anything involving pleasure.  It's almost as if it's strictly for reproduction and never for recreation.  These same people who have made themselves authority figures over sex also preside over what's considered "acceptable" sex and what's not.

As far as I'm concerned, when it comes to sex: do you.  Whatever makes you happy that isn't illegal is quite alright with me.  If you want to tie someone up, use fruit, or even bring in an additional person or two then that's your business.  If you want to abstain from sex altogether until marriage then that's fine, too.  Yet some are even criticized for doing that which is absolutely ridiculous.

I'm sure most of the people who are judging are either participating in some of the same acts or have done even more kinkier stuff.  How many times have we seen a male politician bash gay people during a campaign only to get caught with his pants down (literally) with another man?  Or someone who has a strong stance on prostitution but gets caught in the back seat of a Cadillac with a hooker?  Or maybe they're just mad because they can't find someone to do freaky stuff with them.

What makes a person quick to say "what happens in your bedroom is your business" but then turn around and criticize people who "aren't the norm"?  The hypocrisy is overwhelming in this country if you ask me.  There is no "norm" when it comes to sex.  There are plenty of things that I would never do, but I won't hate on someone if that's their thing.  Criticizing someone for their sexual preferences is like criticizing someone who orders coffee off of Starbucks menu that you don't like.  Just because you don't drink it doesn't mean that it's wrong for someone else to try it.  If you don't like it then don't order it.

It's just that simple.

Next on "XX vs XY" will be Tasha Mac...

Sex Isn't Dirty

Okay, so I understand that people have different views which is what makes us so unique.  But, some views tend to make me scratch my head a bit.  Especially when it comes to sex.  It's not a very popular topic among certain groups of people, but sex is the only reason any of us are even here.

So, in regards to something that is essential to life itself, why is it viewed as something dirty and disgusting?  Can it be that way?  Absolutely, depending on how open-minded you may or may not be.  But, the act itself is as natural as anything on this planet and it's time to stop demonizing it.

Churches

I grew up in a traditional Baptist church.  A lot of churches teach sex as if it's a bad thing.  That it's something that makes you unclean.  Depending on your religion, that could be true in some cases, but they don't differentiate the cases.  You're brought up to think that it's simply a bad thing.  To top it off, not all churches explain that sex can be about more than just having babies.  Sex can be something spouses can enjoy together.  You can still enjoy sex and "keep it holy" if you read more than you listen.  That usually gets lost somewhere in the "teachings."

Ladies

So many women get brought up to think that their private parts are always off limits.  If you have sex with a lot of guys then you're a slut.  If I had a daughter then I'd probably teach her the same thing, too.  #Hypocrite LOL!  However, in the spirit of fairness I'll be open-minded on this one, too.

A woman who enjoys sex is not a slut.  Now, that doesn't mean go out and do Bangfest 2014, but it does mean that it's okay if you have those urges.  Be responsible and use common sense and if it does happen, then it just happens.  Don't let a man tell you that if he sleeps with 50 women he's a "playa," but if you sleep with 50 men you're a "ho."

Spouses

Some people are afraid to let their "freak flag fly" even when they've locked down that special someone.  Why?  Why would you commit the rest of your life with someone you can't be yourself around?

Look, if people remained virgins until marriage then these topics wouldn't be much of an issue.  That's not the case.  A very small group of people in the U.S. make it to marriage as a virgin couple.  Regardless if you're a first-timer or a veteran, you should still be able to be yourself in the bedroom with your spouse.  Don't be afraid to try new things.  If you've always had an open line of communication with your spouse then it shouldn't take them by surprise anyway.  Communication is the key to a happy marriage in and out of the bedroom.

Like everything else in the world, sex can be fun if you have the right approach.  You can enjoy yourself and still wake up in the morning feeling respected if you make the right decisions.  It's more than just 50 pumps and a walk of shame if you choose it to be.  Don't let society dictate what's right for you.  If you want to wait until marriage then I'll encourage you to do so.  If you want to "get it in" before marriage then I'll encourage you to use protection and make sure the person you're with is responsible and respects you.

Either way sex isn't dirty unless you're in the mud.  It's a beautiful thing.

Win A Signed Copy of "Recommitted: It's Not Too Late" by @CeliMarieDean

#AfterSex Selfies? Seriously?

O_O

O_o

O_O

O_o

That is an example of the nervous twitch my eye had when I came across this phenomenon.  Taking selfies after having sex and then sharing it with the world.  In a country where people complain about having surveillance cameras on street corners for protection is a violation of privacy, we have people sharing the after-shocks of their sex faces.

(Deep breath)

I guess that I shouldn't be surprised by this.  Social media has created an illusion that everyday people are Hollywood stars.  It's created an attitude that a person has fans who care what they're doing every single minute of the day.  Because of that, nothing is sacred any more.

Now, I realize that I'm 42 years old and I'm not too far away from telling kids to "get off of my lawn!"  However, that doesn't mean that I never did anything stupid when I was young.  I know that kids will be kids and do things that 40-somethings and above will not understand.  But, the difference I see in my generation and younger generations is that we did appear to have more pride in ourselves.  Some things will still sacred to us.  To them it's just trying to get attention and responses from their "fans."

Because of that, I refuse to search for #ToiletTweet for fear of what I will find.

How did we wind up parenting a generation where nothing appears to be sacred?

Dude, keep your private life to yourself.

#T2Q's Toss Up Thursday, 2/13/14 (PHOTO) #Valentine Edition

What's the best Valentine's Day gift for you to receive: good sleep or good sex?

I Got Her Hooked

She knows that she wants it.

Oh, yeah.  Who's the man?  I'm the man.  I got her hooked and there's no denying it.  She can act like she doesn't care all she wants, but I know differently.  I know that she wants it multiple times per day and that she can't control herself.  She wakes up out of her sleep and thinks about it.  She wants it before and after dinner.  Even after the first session, she watches the clock waiting for more.  My lady craves it.

Wait.  You dirty-minded scoundrels.  No, I'm not talking about sex.  I'm talking about how I introduced my lady to Candy Crush.  I won't lie, the photo I attached probably didn't help your wandering minds, but I like to be misleading like that from time-to-time. #Gotcha

Yes, she is hooked on Candy Crush and it's my fault.  She held out as long as she could, but decided to give it a try shortly after Christmas.  Now she fusses when she's stuck on a level and gets even more agitated when she runs out of lives and has to wait 30+ minutes for more of them.

I was once hooked on the sweetness that is Candy Crush.  It felt different than Angry Birds.  That limitation of lives creates more of a sense of urgency in playing.  However, like most things, I got used to it and learned to control my need to have it.  Now I usually only play a couple of times per day during the week.  I'm too busy on weekends with football to care about it on gameday.  But, it's the ultimate way to pass time while sitting in a line or at a doctor's office.

Her addiction is hilarious at the moment, but I'm sure at some point I'll start to hide her iPad so that I can help curb her addiction.  Then again, she'll probably get over it herself. Once she gets past Level 35 and finds herself closer to Level 100, then the thrill will slowly dissipate.  It's just a matter of time for the newness to wear off. :)

I'm glad that she's not THIS hooked on the game!

Is there a game that has you hooked?

Want #Sex? There's An App for That!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

5 Blogs to Follow: @LadyT523, @VanityStrokes, @DirtyInPublic, @SingleDatingDiv @MarriageDr, Post #500

I wanted to do something special for my 500th post and I've decided to pay it forward.  I'm a firm believer in supporting what I like.  If I enjoy something, then I try to share it so that others may do the same.  Although I don't read blogs as much as I once did, I still take time to enjoy a select few.  I want to share some of the newer blogs that I read religiously because of their entertainment value and useful information:

The Tasha Mac Chronicles 

www.TashaMacChronicles.blogspot.com

Twitter: @LadyT523

On top of being eye candy, Tasha chronicles her life as a single mother of four daughters.  She talks about how dating and home life for her is completely different from someone who may not have kids or may not be married.  Not only does she do a great job of "painting the picture" of her life, she also is a genius in regards to teaching life lessons.  She is a native of New Orleans, Louisiana, who because of Hurricane Katrina, now lives in Jackson, Mississippi.

For new readers, I would suggest that you check out these posts: "Can Football Help or Hurt My Relationship?," "Am I My Brother's Keeper," and "What My Daughters Don't Understand."

Stroking at Midnight

www.StrokingAtMidnight.com

Twitter: @VanityStrokes

This Toronto author started in October and the blog world hasn't been the same since!  This site is steamier than your bathroom mirror after a morning shower.  Vanity takes some of her own personal experiences and shares them in a vivid and deliberate fashion.  She has a way with words that will paint a picture that any adult reader can appreciate.  Seductive blog posts like "What's Your Fantasy?" and "Caution: You Will Get Wet On This Ride" tells how it all started.  Give Vanity a try and enjoy your imaginative visuals that will raise your eyebrow on multiple occasions.

www.DirtyInPublic.com

Twitter: @DirtyInPublic

Where do I start with this site?  I love what Dirty in Public has to offer.  Californian, Marrie Lobel, is the owner/operator of DiP and she always finds an intriguing relationship or sex topic to pique your interests!  She takes everyday conversation and presents it in a way that makes you think.  She does a great job of helping people understand either where they went wrong or how they can improve upon their relationships.  With posts like "Available for Sex: Leave the light on for me!"  or "The Other Woman: What she needs to understand!" which breaks down the #SideChickRevolution.  Marrie is as insightful as she is delightful.

www.SingleDatingDiva.com

Twitter: @SingleDatingDiv

This Canadian red hot really dives deep into the core of relationships.  Suzie takes a look at different relationship situations from all angles and offers a solution to those issues.  She also does a great job soliciting feedback from the readers which generates a lot of insightful comments.  If you have a question about your relationship, then send an anonymous letter to "Ask Single Dating Diva" to get honest options towards solutions.  You will also enjoy posts like "Dating a Work in Progress - Stay Away!" and "The 3 Date Rule Hook Up."

www.RelationshipRx.net

Twitter: @MarriageDr

He's the only guy on the list, but don't let that deter you.  Aaron Anderson is the real deal and probably the only certified one in the bunch.  He's a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of The Marriage and Family Clinic in Denver, CO.  RelationshipRx always takes a positive approach to solving dilemmas which is what makes it so refreshing.  There are relationship resolution posts like "My Husband Wants Sex All the Time" to "She Never Wants Sex."  He also provides helpful tips to keep your marriage fresh with posts like "Six Naughty Ways to Spice up Your Sex Life."  It's the feel-good blog that everyone should have in their RSS feeder.

So, there you have it!  Five blogs that will educate and entertain you while I crank out my next 500 blog posts!

Do you have a blog of interest to share?  If so, feel free to add them in the comments below!

Sex is Why You're Single

"None of this until you mow the lawn, Mr.!

Sometimes, I understand why some women are single.  They have the complete wrong idea on what it takes to establish and maintain a relationship.  I watched a YouTube video recently of something an associate of mine put together and I shook my head almost during the entire 32 minute video.

Seven women were sitting around acting like they were know it alls when it came to men.  The women appeared to range from ages 25-40 and the amount of ignorance in their speech was staggering!

There was so much bitterness and anger in some of their voices.  They talked about not giving engagement rings back, men and strippers, and other things.

However, it didn't take me long to figure out why there was so much bitterness and anger in them.  In fact, it stood out to me like a "quadricorn."  The one constant that I saw in the video was the reference of sex.  Almost all of the women in the video subconsciously considered sex as a bargaining tool.  I heard so many examples of it:

"He won't take me out to eat, but he thinks he's getting sex?"

"I'm not giving his engagement ring back if I don't marry him.  He can't give my sex back!"

"As long as I'm 'putting it down' in the bedroom, he ain't going nowhere!"

Those are just a few of the things that I heard that opened my eyes to why so many women are single.  Someone once told me that "sex is a weapon that always misfires."  That's a very true statement.  The moment that a woman says or insinuates that she's "giving" a man something, when it comes to intimacy, is the moment she lowers herself in the eyes of the man.  The guy may not even realize it himself, but it happens.

She may think that she's the "best he's ever had," but that doesn't matter.  Keep in mind that men don't cheat for "better," they cheat for "different."  You can have Grade-A stuff and he may still cheat with Grade-C stuff just because her hair color is different or she's six inches taller.

A man can have sex with no emotional attachments.  That's why it's so easy for guys to go from partner-to-partner with no conscious.  If a woman treats sex as a conditional reward, then how is she separating herself from the masses?  I hate to put it this way, but the analogy fits: "A dog only begs when he knows that he's getting a treat."  No treat?  No effort.  That's what's being created in that type of environment.

Sex is an intimacy that should be shared.  If you and your man do not experience sex as one, then you're voluntarily grouping yourself with every other woman out there.  You're reducing yourself to: quid pro quo (this for that).  That isn't healthy in a relationship.  If the two of you aren't getting enjoyment out of sex, then maybe you're not for each other.  However, if it's enjoyable when you do have it, then why hold on to it until the light bulb in the kitchen is changed?  Don't take the mindset of, "if I can't have what I want done then no one is happy."  What are you, 12?

A man should treat his woman like a queen because he feels that she is one.  Not only because he wants sex.  Because once he realizes that she's treating sex as a reward, then he'll start rationing out his good behavior only when he wants intimacy.

Do you think that bargaining with sex can be self-destructive for women?

"I'm not cooking and giving him sex, too. He has to give up at least one."

"Carlos Danger," You're Still A Weiner

Anthony, will the ladies always be a weakness for you?  

NYC mayoral candidate, Anthony Weiner, is back in the news for the wrong reasons (again).  If you remember back to 2011, Weiner sent a photo of his "last name" to a woman on Twitter.  The media grabbed ahold to it (the photo, not his weiner) and it ultimately forced him to resign from his Congressional position.

You would think losing a Congressional spot and causing marital strife would be enough for Anthony to straighten up and fly right.  Well, no, that's not the case.  A.W. went incognito and decided to go online under the alias of "Carlos Danger."  I'll give you a few seconds to wipe the tears from your eyes and stop laughing...

He exchanged messages with a woman asking if she'd seen the photos that he released in 2011 and if she was impressed by them.  Of course, the media got their hands on the transcript from the conversations and Anthony is now under pressure to drop out of the mayoral race.  A race in which the polls showed him with a comfortable lead until this information was "leaked."

Most Weiner supporters Democrats people would say, "his personal life has nothing to with his potential career as mayor."

Actually, I think that it would have an impact on it.  This is a man, who hurts his marriage and throws away a political seat over potential sex, has a chance to start over fresh, but does the same thing?  I would question that person's ability to make decisions.  Who's to say that Anthony Weiner wouldn't fall into corruption as mayor if he wins?  Anyone could send a sexy woman his way to compromise what few morals he may have left.

It's a shame, too.  Weiner could have won and probably could have been a good mayor had he kept his head in his pants on straight.

What do you think?  Does Carlos Danger / Anthony Weiner deserve a 3rd chance?

"Not even I can help this guy!"

Coochie or Power? #Scandal #OliviaPope

Okay, so I'm watching "Scandal" a few weeks ago and I'm tripping over what I'm seeing.  For those not familiar, this show is one of the more popular shows on primetime TV and it's very interesting.  Creative and twisted writing has made it a show that I would advise anyone to watch.

The show makes you wonder what exactly goes through a man's mind to make him cheat.  For those who haven't watched the show (or Season 2 - SPOILER starts), the President of the United States is "whipped" has fallen deeply in love with his side chick (main character of the show).  The side chick no longer wants anything to do with him unless he "earns" her.

The 2013 side chick's motto: "earn me."

Wait. What?  The side chick is making demands?  Only in 2013, where the sense of entitlement is at an all-time high in the U.S., would a "jump off" say that you need to "earn me."  The fact that she's a side chick means that she came cheaply anyway and now she wants to go to the negotiation table?  "Child, please."

Anyway, the Prez decides the only way to "earn her" is to show the side chick that he loves her more than anything.  The First Lady threatens the Prez by telling him that if he doesn't repair their marriage that she's going to expose his affair on national television.  What does the Prez do?  He lets her do just that.  In fact, the Prez not only allows his wife to expose his marriage on national television, but he allows the First Lady to do it while he's banging the side chick.  He basically throws away his presidency over the side chick.  (SPOILER ends)

Wow.  When presented with the choice of "coochie or power," he chose "coochie."  Now that's some strong stuff right there!  I don't want to meet anyone capable of putting that on me to make me throw away my career.  Yeah, you can argue that he loves her, but a married man who cheats doesn't have a lot of credibility when it comes to love, if you ask me.

I remember when I was in high school, rapper, Ice-T, had a song entitled "Power."  One of the lyrics from that song is quoted as followed: "The power of sex, if man could overthrow it he'd be king in a day; No way. We'd get rich, hard, and give it away."

He was basically talking about how men would throw away everything for sex including being a king.  When I heard that song as a teen-ager, I didn't understand it the depths of that lyric.  However, I now understand it completely as a 41 year old.  I've seen countless politicians, numerous co-workers and even friends throw away their marriage because they were dwelling on the "in-between."

Yes, everyone says that it's a "man's world," but those who are educated know that is the farthest thing from the truth.

Bill was almost a real-life "Scandal" episode.

Tiki left his wife 8 months pregnant with twins and threw away his job for the side chick.

Can love/sex make you leave it all behind?

How Close Do You Keep Them?

From the 1995 must-see movie, "Kids."

I'm not a parent, but I know plenty. The struggles they have with their kids are many, but everyone has their own style of parenting. What works for one could be appalling to the next. For example: spanking. It worked for me when I was growing up, but some people view it as child abuse.

Since there are so many styles of parenting, it's very difficult to say which method is right or wrong. Especially since each child is different. But, how far will a parent go to keep an eye on their children as they grow into the teen years? How close do you keep them when it comes to more "adult decisions."

Would you allow your child to have sex in your house? How about getting drunk? Or smoking weed? Some of you are re-reading that and freaking out. However, there are some parents who think it's okay to let their kid do something that may seem immoral or even illegal as long as it's within the confines of the home. Some parents think that as long as they know about it, then they can control it.

There was a parent of one of my high school classmates who used to buy her son cigarettes. She said that she would rather buy them for him than have him sneak and do it. Is there a difference just because she knows?

Would some of you be okay with your daughter/son having sex in the house as opposed to someone's backseat or a seedy motel?

What about marijuana? Would you rather take the risk of purchasing the dope for your child than to have them in the streets with no experience?

What's your style of parenting?

Can You Really Be Addicted to Sex?

The term "sexual addiction" is used to describe the behavior of a person who has an unusually intense sex drive or an obsession with sex. Sex and the thought of sex tend to dominate the sex addict's thinking, making it difficult to work or engage in healthy personal relationships.

I'll name some behaviors associated with sexual addiction. Just for fun, I'll list the type of people who would probably partake in the act:

1. Compulsive masturbation - most men
2. Multiple affairs (extra-marital affairs) - most politicians
3. Multiple or anonymous sexual partners and/or one-night stands - most NBA players
4. Consistent use of pornography - most college students
5. Unsafe sex - see #3
6. Phone or computer sex (cybersex) - most nerds
7. Prostitution or use of prostitutes - see #2
8. Exhibitionism - strippers
9. Obsessive dating through personal ads - again, see #2
10. Voyeurism (watching others) and/or stalking - ugly guys

I think that even if you were to combine multiple "symptoms" listed above that it doesn't necessarily make a person a sex fiend. If so, then I know a lot of people who need rehab!

Can you really be addicted to sex? I guess like everything in life, too much of anything is bad for you. So, I do think that it's more likely for a person to be horny to the point of unhealthy. However, I don't think any of the above (at face value) define what a sex addict is in my opinion.

When I think of an addict, I think of someone who is willing to regularly put their life (or someone else's) at risk in order to get the high that they're seeking. I think of a crack head stealing from their own family. I think of an alcoholic continuing to drink despite having a bad liver. I think of an overweight person scarfing down a triple cheeseburger despite having high cholesterol.

I don't think of a person watching porn or making a booty call as a sex addict. I don't think a person reaches the level of a sex addict until things like molestation or rape comes into play. When you get to the point that you're willing to take it when you can't get it, then you're an addict. Or engaging in unhealthy activities can probably qualify you, too.

Tiger Woods was once a member of a sex rehab located about 90 miles from my hometown. He threw his marriage away over a few romps in the sack with some cafe waitresses. Does that make him an addict or just an idiot?

Pee Wee Herman once got busted for playing "pocket poker" in a theater. Addict or freak?

(Insert man here) gets a woman pregnant because he didn't practice safe sex. Addict or irresponsible?

So, I do believe there is a such thing as a sex addiction, but I think the symptoms have to be a lot more severe than what's listed. If you're spending your very last dime on a monthly subscription to SweatyBiceps.com, then maybe you do have a problem. If you're buying sheep, but you're not a farmer, then maybe you qualify as a sex addict. If you think Ann Coutler is sexy, then maybe you have issues (or a praying mantis fetish).

Do you think that a person can be addicted to sex?

MILF & Cookies

Ladies, do you hate it when guys label you? Have you ever been categorized simply by being an older woman who happens to be single? Cougars aren't widely popular. Some people women frown upon an older woman pursuing a younger guy. They look at these women like predators (hence the term "cougar). But, they're not. These women are just ladies who know what they want and have the means to go get it.

What's wrong with that?

Now, to guys, cougars are the best thing since the invention of the NFL Sunday Ticket. A sexy, older woman that is willing-and-able to make "the game" easy for you is a young man's dream come true. A lot of cougars don't waste time. They call you up, you come over, they open the door and the conversation goes pretty much like this: "Come in, shut up, lay down, get out."

You get yours and she gets hers and everyone is happy. Now, some guys are put off by them because they don't like the woman as the "shot caller" (aggressor). They don't like her being in control or deciding the terms of the relationship.

I never experienced a cougar, but I dated an older woman once. I was 24 and she was 38. However, she wasn't that aggressive. In fact, she was more of a house cat than a cougar. She was what a lot of guys refer to as a MILF. She was divorced with a 14 year old son and we were more of a "friends with benefits" type of couple than anything. She didn't call the shots or try to dominate the situation.

There's a difference between a MILF and a Cougar: a MILF may not have any interest in younger men, but younger men seek them out. A Cougar seeks out younger men because "Stella is trying to get her groove back." Being called a MILF is actually a compliment to a few, but an insult to most. The same goes with cougars. Calling some women a cougar can get you "paw slapped" while a select few may give you a smile.

Quite a few younger guys prefer MILFs. Although any woman your age can technically be a MILF, the term normally applies to an older, attractive woman with children.

A woman like that may not necessarily be attracted to younger guys, but some times when a guy shows her interest, the need to feel appreciated can actually transform her into a cougar. But, if that doesn't happen, then the guy may need to get into a relationship with her in order to "get the cookies." And I know some guys who don't mind a little MILF and cookies because there are advantages of having an older woman as a significant other. Older women generally don't play games and are pretty stable in their lives.  But, I also know some guys who run from the "Just Add Man" instant family.

Some guys are concerned of being involved with a MILF because her kids are part of the package and deserve some attention as well. Knuckleheads these days have problems taking care of their own kids yet alone someone else's.

With a cougar, yeah, she may have kids, but you probably wouldn't even know it because her only goal is for you to come over, "put in your 20 minutes" and get out. But, the benefit of a MILF is that you're more than likely the only guy she's sleeping with at the time. A cougar may have quite a few young bucks in her stable. Decisions, decisons, huh, guys?

But, seriously... Memo to the guys: if you like a woman for a relationship or just for sex, then try not to label her or allow your friends to do so. These things are degrading to women and we do enough of that, okay? Just be happy that someone has some interest in your immature self.

And for the ladies, don't be put off by the labels. We guys will always be juvenile in nature and come up with some term to try and categorize women. It's what we do. We can't help it although we should try harder not to do it. Unfortunately, our brains don't fully develop until we're Yoda's age. So, regardless if you're labeled as either a MILF or a cougar by some idiot, then don't let guys dictate how you feel about dating younger.

Hugh Hefner has ejaculated dust for decades now and no one ever says anything to him.

TQ Presents... TOAR

I generally try to put out three blog posts per week, but from time-to-time, I get caught up with other things: The Mrs., work, football, etc. So, I figured, why not solicit some of my favorite bloggers to take up the slack for me. Yeah, that's right, I can facilitate my blogging duties to others! How lazy wonderful is that?

So, I've asked TOAR to grace my blog with her zaniness! Well, I'll let her tell you about herself...

"F&#K You & Your Fetishes"

It's TOAR!

Aye, what the fuck ‘chu looking at? Oh yeah, I forgot. I am here because Q wanted to take a Lazy Week. At least he has the brains to recruit guest bloggers to keep making him money while he is gone; unlike me. I swear I better get a cut or it’s gonna be a fucking problem. Anyway - - I am TOAR from Thoughts of a Randomista.

I seriously don’t think that I need an introduction but I noticed that Q gained a few new followers; so to all the people who know me - - What up? To the followers who have yet to endure the weird ass ride of TOAR - - Welcome to my world of “Random Writing Chaos!” I drop ‘F’ bombs and say Bitch regularly. I have been featured on Q’s “Talk 2 Q” radio show & anything else he can conjure up in his mind for bloggers-like-me-to-participate-in-just-because-I-am-too-nice-to-say-no – just kidding about the nice part. You can say that Q and I never see eye to eye but we love each other none the less. I won’t be surprised if he edits this post. *pretty girl shrug* If this is not enough about me, read this post, visit my blog linked above, or follow me on twitter @BeauTAILful7.

Now that I am done being pleasant rude as fuck –here is more; what is up with these fetishes? People get turned on by the weirdest shit. I am not talking about normal common fetishes like feet or strippers. Don’t get me wrong with some of the things that makes me horny wet (yeah, I like that word better) can come off a little suspect but in no way shape or form will I dress up like a fucking infant and suck on “mommy’s milk.”

Yeah I said it! Why do GROWN ass men think they can dress up in a diaper and suck on my titties while I am still lactating? There are so many points I have to make right now.

A) YOU are a grown ass man, not a baby. Just because women have the stereotypical role as your caregiver does not mean that I am going to resort to being your ass wiper! You cannot dress up like a baby one minute when you want some ass then turn around and want me to treat you like a “REAL MAN” ----FUCK that you pansy!

B) If I am still lactating, doesn’t that mean that there is a baby somewhere nearby? I heard (because I do not have kids), that breast feeding hurts like a motherfucker with a baby that is all gums. So I have to sit here and let you KNAW on my pretty ass titties with your GROWN-MAN ASS TEETH?! Hell-TO-THE-FUCK-no. My titties might already go from this ( ∙ ) ( ∙ ) to this (_)(_) without your help. *SHE AIN’T GOT NO NIPPLLLLEESS* in my Kevin Hart Voice.

C) Lastly, why you gotta wear a diaper though? You getting old already which means eventually you can enjoy your diaper wearing fetish at a later age. I mean sure, wanting to taste the milk - - I can go that far but the outfit too? COME ON!


#ICANT

There are so many more that I can talk about – but I think I will wait for my next guest post. But before I go, let me tell you some of my fetishes – nothing as extravagant as tit knaw-ing.

I love Bow Ties. OMG! Take off all your clothes and rub your bow tie on my cooter… please! Oh Yes! Right there.. uhmm.. – Oh my bad I’ll move on now.

I like NICELY maintained dreads with gold in the mouth. I think that is because I am from Detroit and people don’t do that shit here. It’s Trifling.

That is about it I think. If I think of something else I’ll let you know but in the meantime, tell me your fetishes! What do you like or love? What have you heard that is just ratchet and make you say “Hell-to-the-FUCK-no”? Don’t Be Shy =)

Remember to Follow My Blog on:
Thoughts of a Randomista
@BeauTAILful7
Facebook