Do As I Say

Thanks to Vinny C for being the first person to see the light and recognize that I need to be in charge of the world. Ironically, in order for me to rule the world, I have to list three things that I would enforce once I take control of all of your lives. Who forces an overlord to make a list? Sheesh.

Anyway, here are the three things that will change in this world as proclaimed by the new, all-powerful, Q:

1) Congress will be limited to one four-year term. I'm so sick of these career politicians robbing the country. Sure, there may be a handful of honest politicians, but for the most part, they have more interest in being re-elected than making the country a better place. If there is no re-election option, then maybe people who ran for office would actually do so to help.

2) All reality shows will be on one channel. I'm so sick of hitting the guide button on my DirecTV remote and seeing it littered with reality show garbage. "Basketball Wives," "Baseball Wives," "Keeping up with the Kardashians," "Hillbilly Hand Fishin'," etc., etc. There's a new reality show debuting every month it seems. Place it on one channel so I can have some quality programming on the others. Besides, the only reality show allowed on TV should be the one I created with the help of some of my blogging friends.

3) Jails will return to being a place that criminals do not want to go. No more luxuries in jail whatsoever. Just put me in charge and I'll have people trembling at the idea of prison. Prisoners will now grow their own food. No more mooching off of the tax payers and no more kick backs to these privatized prisons. The only television allowed will only show two channels: Headline News and PBS. Let those idiots learn something for a change while in jail.

Those are the first three things that come to mind that I will install during my reign as overlord. Now, here comes something else Vinny wants me to do although I don't like it: I have to share my power with five people. Huh? So, are they like "underlords" serving under me or something? I can't be the end-all, be-all if I have to bestow power on five others, can I?

Then again, I guess Vinny was nice enough to share his power with me. Maybe we can take different parts of the world and run them together. I'll take Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama. They'll need someone who knows the area to give them the tough love that they need.

Anyhoo, let me list the five people who I would trust with this great power of running things on this great planet of ours:

the Tsaritsa - I'm guessing it'll be karaoke-related
The Chocolate Knot - Whatever she chooses, I know it'll be smart
Mooner Johnson - This will be a must-read regardless of what comes to his mind
According to Jewels - Something sexual or alcohol-related, maybe?
Thoughts of a Randomista - I wonder what ideas she'll come up with for this?

In the words of Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles," "Now go do... that voodoo... that YOU do... SO WELL!!!!"

And props to MelanieD for being Follower #125!

TQ Presents... TOAR

I generally try to put out three blog posts per week, but from time-to-time, I get caught up with other things: The Mrs., work, football, etc. So, I figured, why not solicit some of my favorite bloggers to take up the slack for me. Yeah, that's right, I can facilitate my blogging duties to others! How lazy wonderful is that?

So, I've asked TOAR to grace my blog with her zaniness! Well, I'll let her tell you about herself...

"F&#K You & Your Fetishes"

It's TOAR!

Aye, what the fuck ‘chu looking at? Oh yeah, I forgot. I am here because Q wanted to take a Lazy Week. At least he has the brains to recruit guest bloggers to keep making him money while he is gone; unlike me. I swear I better get a cut or it’s gonna be a fucking problem. Anyway - - I am TOAR from Thoughts of a Randomista.

I seriously don’t think that I need an introduction but I noticed that Q gained a few new followers; so to all the people who know me - - What up? To the followers who have yet to endure the weird ass ride of TOAR - - Welcome to my world of “Random Writing Chaos!” I drop ‘F’ bombs and say Bitch regularly. I have been featured on Q’s “Talk 2 Q” radio show & anything else he can conjure up in his mind for bloggers-like-me-to-participate-in-just-because-I-am-too-nice-to-say-no – just kidding about the nice part. You can say that Q and I never see eye to eye but we love each other none the less. I won’t be surprised if he edits this post. *pretty girl shrug* If this is not enough about me, read this post, visit my blog linked above, or follow me on twitter @BeauTAILful7.

Now that I am done being pleasant rude as fuck –here is more; what is up with these fetishes? People get turned on by the weirdest shit. I am not talking about normal common fetishes like feet or strippers. Don’t get me wrong with some of the things that makes me horny wet (yeah, I like that word better) can come off a little suspect but in no way shape or form will I dress up like a fucking infant and suck on “mommy’s milk.”

Yeah I said it! Why do GROWN ass men think they can dress up in a diaper and suck on my titties while I am still lactating? There are so many points I have to make right now.

A) YOU are a grown ass man, not a baby. Just because women have the stereotypical role as your caregiver does not mean that I am going to resort to being your ass wiper! You cannot dress up like a baby one minute when you want some ass then turn around and want me to treat you like a “REAL MAN” ----FUCK that you pansy!

B) If I am still lactating, doesn’t that mean that there is a baby somewhere nearby? I heard (because I do not have kids), that breast feeding hurts like a motherfucker with a baby that is all gums. So I have to sit here and let you KNAW on my pretty ass titties with your GROWN-MAN ASS TEETH?! Hell-TO-THE-FUCK-no. My titties might already go from this ( ∙ ) ( ∙ ) to this (_)(_) without your help. *SHE AIN’T GOT NO NIPPLLLLEESS* in my Kevin Hart Voice.

C) Lastly, why you gotta wear a diaper though? You getting old already which means eventually you can enjoy your diaper wearing fetish at a later age. I mean sure, wanting to taste the milk - - I can go that far but the outfit too? COME ON!


#ICANT

There are so many more that I can talk about – but I think I will wait for my next guest post. But before I go, let me tell you some of my fetishes – nothing as extravagant as tit knaw-ing.

I love Bow Ties. OMG! Take off all your clothes and rub your bow tie on my cooter… please! Oh Yes! Right there.. uhmm.. – Oh my bad I’ll move on now.

I like NICELY maintained dreads with gold in the mouth. I think that is because I am from Detroit and people don’t do that shit here. It’s Trifling.

That is about it I think. If I think of something else I’ll let you know but in the meantime, tell me your fetishes! What do you like or love? What have you heard that is just ratchet and make you say “Hell-to-the-FUCK-no”? Don’t Be Shy =)

Remember to Follow My Blog on:
Thoughts of a Randomista
@BeauTAILful7
Facebook

TOAR is back!

Lynn from the Thoughts of a Randomista blog comes back to T2Q with a vengeance! Listen to the discussion she had with me and my homie, M&M. There's also a brief appearance from Israel Carrasco as well! Be sure to check out their blogs and follow!

Listen to internet radio with ThankQ on Blog Talk Radio

7 Facts (About Me)

Nobody does it like "The Iz," my brother from another mother over there at Israel Carrasco Monologue Jokes. Thanks for the props and the award. I'm going to pass it on just as it was passed on to me.

Here's how the rules work:
* Copy/paste this award to your blog.
* Thank and link to the person that tagged you with it.
* List 7 facts about yourself.
* Give the award to 5 other bloggers and tell them to pass it on.

My 7 Facts:

1- I wake up every morning to a Pop/Rock song. I have my playlist set on my phone so that every morning, I'm hopping up to Maroon 5, Wham!, Duran Duran, etc. Pop/Rock is up-tempo enough to get my attention, but doesn't startle me senseless as it wakes me.


2- Like, Iz, I used to play an instrument as a kid, too. I was an alto saxophone player for six years. Shortly after high school graduation, I turned down an opportunity to try out for a band that was to perform for a local Luther Vandross concert. I wasn't a huge Luther fan and although it was just playing with him for one show, I was too young (17) to appreciate the opportunity I was being given. Whoops.

3- My favorite food is Mexican. I have a neighborhood restaurant named El Cazadores where I'm there quite often getting carnitas or carne asada. I rarely eat at other Mexican restaurants because it almost feels like cheating on Cazadores.

4- The very first celebrity I ever met was Mr. T. I was 12 years old and ran into him at a Minneapolis mall. He smiled, winked, said "hi," and walked on by. As a 12-year old, I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Whenever I watch "Rocky III," I still think it's kind of cool.

5- I used to be a sportswriter. Small-time, but a sportswriter for the local newspaper. My favorite event that I covered was a minor league hockey game. Being a black man in the South with an appreciation for hockey freaks a lot of my friends out. LOL! Hockey is football on ice and anyone who likes football should appreciate it. It's one of the most exciting sports to watch live.


6- I went to middle school with Faith Hill. She was Faith Perry at the time and four years older than me. She was the best friend of one of my friend's big sister, so I won't act like I knew her well. Heck, it was just six or seven years ago someone told me that Faith Perry was even Faith Hill. LOL!

7- I can't enjoy watching any crime-time drama (Law & Order, CSI, etc.) without The Mrs. present. She got me into those shows and now if she's not on the couch with me, I don't watch them.


Those are my seven! Now, I will pass this on to the following five:

1- Chaplain Donna from Empowered Peace
2- Tameka from The Writing Assassin
3- Erin from The Life of Ann James
4- Sonia from LogAllot
5- Alice X from Guys, Boys, and Men

TOAR & Thundercat Rock TQRS!

Thanks for those who checked out the Thank, Q Radio Show! What was intially going to be about reality TV's effect on society, turned into discussions about a 'used match', reading, oral sex, and 'raw chicken!' Trust me, it's way too much to explain. You would need to hear it for yourself.



Thanks to Falen and Lynn coming on the show and keeping me laughing for a majority of it. I hope to have them on again and soon. And if anyone else is interested in being a guest on the show, then check out my Contact link and get at me in any way you can.



TOAR and Thundercat: uncensored and live on the The Thank, Q Radio Show!

If you missed the live show, be sure to look on the right to find the podcast. You can also click here to follow the show and get reminders of future air dates.

Smash & Pass

It ain't no fun if the homies can have none. That seems like the perfect start to a blog post that someone else named, doesn't it? So, my "Twilight"-loving blog homie, Lynnorra, from the entertaining "Thoughts of a Randomista" site decided she wanted to include me in on the survey fun. She tagged me in a survey and I said, "what the heck? I'll give her what she wants."

Survey Questions:
1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family?
I do not have any pets at this time, but once I do, he will be a family pet and not a member of the family. Until dogs can be claimed on taxes, they're just pets.

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
To awake as a 15-year old again with the same knowledge and mindset that I have now. I'd be unstoppable! Bwu-hah-hah-haaaaaa!

3. What is the one thing most hated by you?
Acceptance. I can't stand to see someone who would rather accept something being done to them than rise up against it. Example: people who do not vote. They obviously think our country is perfect since they chose not to get off of their lazy butts to cast an opinion.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Buy a football franchise is my first thought, but I only like the Dallas Cowboys and Jerry Jones won't sell. So, I guess with a billion, I'd launch my own cable station called "Thank, Q" (imagine that). TQTV would contain a variety of shows from "Night Court" reruns to talk shows hosted by Falen and Lynnorra (ratings cha-ching)!

5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?
This video.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
Being loved by someone. I know. Selfish, huh?

7. What is your bedtime routine?
Turn on the DVR to "Pardon the Interruption" or "Judge Judy" and kick back with the remote on my chest.

8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?
Long story, short, I met her at church as a kid. Never spoke (other than "hello") until I asked her to the prom around 10 years later. Prom date didn't go well, but roughly 10 more years later, she called me out of the blue and asked me out.

9. If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be?
Only football fans would truly understand, but I'd study game film with Ravens linebacker, Ray Lewis, just to get insight on what he sees when he's on the field.

10. What kinds of books do you read?
Autobiographies. Judge Mathis. Wanda Sykes. Charles Barkley, to name a few authors I've enjoyed.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
Hopefully, with 3,000+ followers of my blog.

12. What’s your fear?
That one day I'll turn on my television and there will be reality TV shows on every station.

13. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space?
You couldn't give me junk food to get me in outer space. I have no interest in anything out there.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married, but poor?
The Mrs. will understand my answer, but others may not. I'd rather by single and rich. I truly think being rich would allow me to really make some sort of impact in the city of Jackson.

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
Wonder why my TV is on TBS and "Saved By The Bell." Then I realize that I probably fell asleep on "The George Lopez Show" the night before.

16. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be?
I'd make her fluent in Spanish so that she could teach me.

17. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
Well, I love my name. I even used it in my blog title. But, for the sake of the survey, I'd choose a nice, masculine name like "Logan."

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?
Yes, I could do that, but I wouldn't want to hang around with them afterwards.

19. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?
Hooters lemon pepper chicken wings!

Whew! I'm tired, TOAR! No more questions! I'm going to be a team player and tag some other people who I follow. Like TOAR, I'm going to give them titles to their post that alludes to them passing on the survey and tagging others (but it's totally up to them if they wish to use it or not):

Sonia @ Log Allot - "Pass the Dutchie"
Israel @ Israel Carrasco Monologue Jokes - "Post, Post, Give"
Tameka @ The Writing Assassin - "Toe Tag" (fitting for an assassin, eh?)
Erin @ The Life of Ann James - "Price Tag, You're It!"

Once you finish the questions, you get to tag 4 people! Let me know if you did it!!! What was your favorite question? Even if you weren't tagged, you can participate!

Survey Questions:
1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family?
2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
3. What is the one thing most hated by you?
4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?
6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
7. What is your bedtime routine?
8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?
9. If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be?
10. What kinds of books do you read?
11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
12. What’s your fear?
13. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space?
14. Would you rather be single and rich or married, but poor?
15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
16. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be?
17. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?
19. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?

Tonight, It's On!

I'll Forgive You... This Time...

My birthday came and went and none of my 35 followers or 58 FB Fans seemed to notice. Hmmph! Some followers you guys are! I guess no one pays attention to the profile/bios, huh?

No Colorful Rants in honor of my Life and Times. No Thoughts from a Randomista. Nothing. I didn't even get a Lollipop. Are You Serious? Not one fellow blogger/follower wished me Good Times? I thought I'd generated enough "famosity" for you all to count down the days to my b-day. Again, I say, "Hmmph!"

Okay, I basically turned this into a blog roll. Now you know what I read regularly.

Seriously, I've never made a big deal about my birthday. So many people at work said, "Q, it's your day! Enjoy it!"

In which I'd always give the same reply, "Everyday is my day."

I believe in celebrating life daily, so I don't need an annual reminder to do so.

Whenever I'm on Facebook, I always have a few friends who give you that countdown to their b-day. "Only 13 more days, y'all!"



How about the person who pins a $5 bill on themselves so that everyone knows it's their birthday and feels guilted into giving them money when they see them?

Or they celebrate that milestone birthday. "Come out to my 27th birthday party tomorrow, y'all!"

And yes, I was being facetious when I said "milestone". Who celebrates the number 27 besides an egomaniac? LOL!

To each their own, so let me stop hating. I'm thankful for every morning I can open my eyes and although reaching another year does mean something to me, I don't expect everyone else to stop their lives to help celebrate mine. It's a nice gesture, but not necessary.

I do pretty well celebrating on my own. :)