Sunday, March 31, 2013

What Is Rape?

The topic of rape has really been in the news a lot as of late. Especially, given the recent case in Ohio with the two teen-aged boys who were convicted for raping a girl at a party. There are so many variations of rape and I don't think that a lot of people understand that.

Most think that rape is when a man hides in the bushes, jumps out, clubs a woman over the head and forcibly takes her.  Or maybe some creep puts something in a drink that renders a woman unconscious.  Those are definitely two examples of rape and should be punishable to the fullest extend of the law.

But, rape can come in a lot of forms.  However, with the other forms of rape, should there be a different approach to how they're tried in the court of law?

Date rape

Date rape is normally a he said, she said sort of deal.  A guy goes out with a woman and at some point they have sex.  The next morning, she calls the cops and he gets picked up for rape.  My question is: without physical evidence of forced sex, should it be that easy for a man to go to jail?

Now, I'm not saying that date rape doesn't occur because we all know that it does.  I'm just asking if a man should go to jail on a he said, she said argument?  Rape is difficult to prove, but if all it takes is a crying plaintiff and a sympathetic jury, then a lot of innocent men, who pissed a woman off, will land in jail.  It's safe to say that more innocent people are probably in jail for being falsely accused of rape than any other crime in the world.  Shouldn't we require more proof before potentially getting it wrong?  And why put the woman through a defense lawyer painting her as a whore if the only evidence is a her word against his?

Alcohol-influenced rape

This is going to upset some people, but some things just need to be said.  In the case of the Ohio teens who went to jail for raping a girl at a party, in some cases like this, does the victim actually have some culpability in the matter?  I know that's going to rub people the wrong way, but listen to why I ask the question:

If a woman gets drunk in a room filled with men, then she's definitely not asking to be raped.  I'm not saying that.  It's not smart, but it's still not an invitation to rape.  However, if the person is under-aged and the alleged assailants are as well, then isn't there some culpability there?  It doesn't make rape right, but should something similar to the "clean hands rule" apply?

An example of the "clean hands rule" is a drug dealer who takes someone to court for stealing his drug money.  If you come into court with "unclean hands," from an illegal act, then you can't reap the benefits of justice.

So, with that being said, if a minor gets drunk, then shouldn't they have some responsibility to bear if they fall prey to having naked photos taken and sexual contact by other minors?  I stress the word "some."  Wouldn't the illegal drinking be considered having unclean hands?

What if a woman and a man get drunk together and have sex, can he be charged with rape?  If she's in no condition to consent to sex, is he in a condition to adhere to the non-consent since he's drunk, too?  Since he is also drunk, would he also have a claim to being raped?

These are things that I think our courts should address.  More needs to be done to prevent a guy from going to jail because a woman is pissed at him, scared of what her parents/friends may think or because they got high together, had sex and she woke up with regret.

We'll be discussing this very topic on April 7th.  I'll be presenting these questions to callers and chat room participants to find the best suggested remedy for the courts.

You can join me live on the show at 10 PM EST in the chat room or listen to the podcast if you happen to miss the live airing.  I know that I may have missed an important detail or two, so come on and give your opinion on the matter.

How can we define what is rape?

Monday, March 25, 2013

My Interview with Hollywood Actress, @CherieJohnson75!

Actress/Producer/Author, Cherie Johnson
Thanks to the power of Twitter, I'll once again have the opportunity to interview to a Hollywood actress on Tuesday, March 26th!

I'm going to interview Cherie Johnson, to not only discuss her Hollywood career, but also dive into her life as an author!  You can go to the interview here to check it out.  Please be sure to comment there with your opinions.

Here's a little info on Cherie Johnson for those who may not be familiar with her work: actress, author, columnist, executive producer, producer, and writer. Johnson first rose to fame at age six when she appeared on "Punky Brewster" as "Cherie" and the show aired from 1984-1988.

"Punky Brewster" later expanded into a cartoon series which she contributed her voice for "Little Cherie" and it aired from 1985-1987.

One of her most recognized acting roles is in "Family Matters" where she co-starred as the character "Maxine." The show aired from 1989-1998 with 215 episodes. "Family Matters" is the 3rd longest running U.S. sitcom with a predominantly African-American cast.

Johnson currently writes columns in publications including Dimez Magazine and Glam Couture Magazine. She has co-written, written, and self-published books including "Around the World Twice," "Two Different Walks of Life," and "Peaches & Cream."

"Punky Brewster"
"Family Matters"
Get Cherie's Books here!

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Me and Ms. Smith

I saw my elementary school principal, Ms. Ann Smith, and my 3rd grade teacher, Mrs. Crawford, at McAllister's Deli a few days ago.  Do you know that Ms. Smith still remembers me, my mom and my brother (who is 6 yrs older) and I haven't been her student since 1978?  Her recall is amazing!

It was so nice to see her again.  I remember the days when I was always on my best behavior in elementary school because of the level of respect I had for my teachers and Ms. Smith.  I stayed out of trouble because on top of upsetting my parents, the last thing that I wanted was to disappoint my teachers or Ms. Smith.

Parents, please teach your kids how to respect others.  Things were so simple back then, but today's parents tell their kids, "you only need to listen to me" and that's so far from the truth.  It truly takes a village to raise a child and I'm a product of that.  I can list a number of adults who helped mold my life because my parents allowed them to do so.

My parents allowed responsible adults to discipline me in any way that seemed fit and I'm better for it.  Stop telling your kids that you're the only authority in their life or their school principal will remember them for all of the wrong reasons instead of the right ones.

What can parents do to get kids back on the right track of respecting others?

Friday, March 15, 2013

Can A Woman Be TOO Independent?

We applaud people who are independent in this country.  Pulling yourself up by your boot straps is the mantra by so many politicians.  However, can one be too independent?  Okay, let me change that and get to my real point: can a woman be too independent?

Now, on the surface, it doesn't sound like it could be a bad thing, but it can be in a way.  Some women do it all.  There are single moms who work, go to school, cook every night and stay fit.  They call themselves "Wonder Woman," yet never seem to wonder why they can't keep a man.

An independent woman who doesn't know how to allow a man to be a man can find herself chronically single.  Men are driven by their egos and if a woman bruises that, then he may not be attracted to her long term.  Independent women tend to do this.

When a woman is independent, she is so used to doing things on her own, including traditional roles of the man.  So, it's quite easy for a man to feel left out in an independent woman's world.  Either she doesn't know how to allow him to contribute to the cause or she refuses to because she doesn't trust him to be around long term.

Whatever the reason, it can cause a disconnect.  So, ladies, I applaud your independence, but, know that if you don't maintain a balance, then you could wind up doing one of two things:

1) Running off a good man, who can't find a way to fit into your life.
2) Inviting in a slacker into your life, who loves the fact that you do everything!

How do you feel about it?  Can a woman be too independent to attract a man?  

Hear some more opinions here !

Monday, March 11, 2013

What are Prenatal Receipts?

What are prenatal receipts, you ask? It's when someone has a child with a person to "establish ownership" with them. It's like getting a receipt for a purchase with the child being the actual receipt.

I'll give you some examples: Some military men have been accused of getting their wives/girlfriends pregnant before deployment as some sort of motivation to come home. But, I've also heard that some attempt to get her pregnant to make sure that she has a hard time finding another suitor while he's overseas. Getting her pregnant establishes a bond with her and acts as a deterrent to other guys.

Makes sense? Is it right for someone to do that? Would you be upset if you found out that someone got a woman pregnant for any of the above reasons?

Well, let's flip the script a bit. What about women who may seek a little "insurance" on their relationships? By "insurance," I mean a child. What makes a woman get pregnant against a man's will in order to keep him? 

We see this happen to athletes and celebrities all of the time. They wind up with babies all over the country because there's always a woman looking to have unprotected sex with him in hopes of hitting the "sexual lottery." Rapper, 50 Cent, once had a song that stated "have a baby by me, baby and be a millionaire."

Well, that statement is true in most cases we see, especially in the NBA. Sometimes, I wonder if you have to have at least two baby mamas in order to even get drafted into the NBA. It almost seems like a requirement for them. LOL!

But, seriously.  There is a motivation for some to have a baby by a rich person.  In some instances, depending on the person, child support payments can be $10,000+ per month for some athletes/celebs.  So, even if he doesn't marry you, then you're still getting paid more than 80% of the country simply because you found "the right one."

In my opinion, a child's life isn't a bargaining tool.  One should never look to use getting someone or themselves pregnant as a motivation to come home, deter other people or get paid.  Doing so just makes you a low life, if you ask me.

What do you think?  

If you want to discuss this more, then join my chat room.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Not All Males Are Men

Let's face the cold, hard truth: not all males are men. Not all male species should be treated like men. A man is a male who respects himself, women and his community. Women need to show an appreciation for real men because they don't just fall off of trees.

Guys are different now. It's the old "what came first: chicken or the egg" argument all over again. Did guys become lazy, disrespectful cheaters because women lowered their standards and made things easy or did women lower their standards because guys just stop trying to be men?

The answer doesn't really matter, but what does matter is that we have a problem in society. What I'm about to say is going to offend some people, but I feel that "some things just need to be said." So, hold your comments until after you've read the entire post...

I'm old school. Now, that doesn't mean that I'm an old man, it just means that some of my values/past times have been passed down from the previous generation. Saying that I'm "old school" is an understatement to any of you who have followed me for a while, but it's a true statement. Being blessed with a two parent household as a child, I was raised with many traditional values from the Old South.

Examples: taking my hat/cap off before entering someone's home, holding a door for a lady to enter first, a firm handshake, making eye contact when speaking with people, and being accountable for my actions, to name a few.

As crazy as it sounds, those things are becoming a lost art. Too many males out there lack the man training that is necessary to continue the dwindling cycle of the main components of manhood. Pride, responsibility, and accountability have been replaced with entitlement, dependency, and deflection.

The lack of man training has filled society with males who thinks that someone owes them something. This is reflected in how they treat women. A man thinks that a woman is God's gift to the world, but a male simply thinks she's a gift that's ready to be unwrapped. These males seek out the desperate and "thirsty" women who are willing to treat them like kings despite the fact they're really just peasants.

Because of that, they lack the ability to care for themselves or a family properly. After all, if he has a woman supporting him in the form of a single mom or "thirsty" girlfriend, then why should he do anything at all? Why is there a need to work hard for anything if there's always someone around to give you what you need? Momma keeps a roof over his head. Girlfriend keeps clothes on his back. A job? Really? Higher education? For what? Work for a woman? Just find a "thirsty" one that will settle for a "piece of a man."

When that lack of ability to take care of themselves and others becomes a huge issue, then it's always someone else's fault. He has a child (or more) with the girlfriend. Change a diaper? Yeah, right! That's a woman's work. Child support? With what? He doesn't have a good job because he doesn't know the value of working.

Things are too far gone now.  In order for all males to return to being mature and responsible adults, women will have to raise their standards and stick to them.  Because of the fact that not all males are men, you'll be required to do this in order to separate the good from the bad.

But, as long as the desperate females exist, who will take care of a guy "just because," then don't expect things to change.

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