Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Real Blogger Shore's Amazing Undercover Idol Intro

I know you're staring at that title and wondering if I've officially lost my mind.

Maybe. I was on the Yahoo! homepage and I noticed some "news" stories about one or two reality shows and it gave me an idea: I'm going to write a reality show idea about bloggers and pitch it to FOX!

It will be called: The Real Blogger Shore's Amazing Undercover Idol! (Did I hit every major reality show title in that?)  Basically, it's about some stereotypical bloggers who are stashed in a posh mansion in Helena, Montana. Why Helena? Because the mansions there are cheaper to rent than Beverly Hills. We're on a budget, you know? Now, stay with me.

This show will be very similar to MTV's "The Real World" which some people call the first traditional reality show. Like "TRW," you need an interesting blend of characters to sell the show. Here are my list of bloggers to join the mansion:

Bob (Squatlo Rant) is the show host. He'll give us the assignments and will be the person to announce the eliminations. How would we be eliminated? Each week, readers would vote on who is getting on their nerves the most.

Falen (Colorful Rants) is the drunk, bitter black chick. Every reality show has a bitter black woman. I think it's a requirement.  Anyway, she doesn't want to be bothered with anyone or anything. She hates being in the house, but she wants her beer and the couch.

Lynn (Thoughts of a Randomista) would be the resident flirt. Always speaking exactly what's on her mind no matter if it's appropriate or not. If it comes up, it comes out. This ideology also kick-starts most of the arguments amongst the house members.

Brandon (My Own Private Idaho) is the edgy one of the group. He always cracks the jokes that make everyone cringe. He's forever pushing the envelope with the ladies.

Sonia (LogAllot) is always full of advice, yet no one ever listens to her. Whenever the group is given an assignment, she takes the lead and spends the rest of the day trying to get everyone else to pay attention.

Michelle (Rantings of the Reckmonster) is always looking to froth (look the word up). She is volatile and is quick to swing on someone at the bar or in the club and have everyone in the group at the local police department for most of the night.

Michelle W (Mommy Confessions) just wants to go home. She hates being away from her family and spends all day talking about how much she regrets joining the show.

Alexandra (the Tsaritsa sez) is the free spirit. Whenever there's a group assignment, she's always straying away from the pack to take photos of herself or shopping for art.  She basically just enjoys the all-expense paid stay in a mansion and chooses not to contribute.

Me? I'm the cynical black guy! Duh!!! I'm the self-proclaimed know-it-all who thinks he can solve everyone's problem with sarcastic answers.  I just want everyone to get along although I'm secretly entertained by the drama.

With Bob hosting, we have eight contestants and four bedrooms. 

 How would you pair off the group to get the most volatile and interesting show?

Click below to start the first chapter of the most creative and craziest story ever told!
Squatlo Rant: The Real Blogger Shores Amazing Undercover Idol: Part I

I know you're staring at this post and wondering if I've officially lost my mind. I got through a lot of trouble just to feature a few bloggers that I like, huh? Check them out and click on all of their ads at least 25 times. It has so been ordered.


  1. That is great!! And hysterical because before I even got to my name I said, watch I'll be the one who just wants to go home to her kids. First off for sure! LOL!! Right in the money Q!!

  2. This is hilarious and incredibly creative. Props to you for coming up with such an ingenious way to pimp out your fellow bloggers. I'm glad I didn't make the cast, otherwise I would probably end up being the hoity toity royal chick with a smart mouth and an obession with nice big ding dongs ; )

  3. @ Michelle - I'm glad that I guessed right!

    @ Empress - Oh, it's coming. I'm learning more and more about your blog with each post. You'll wind up in a post some day!

  4. haha, oh wow this is awesome, and I'm flattered that I get to be a part of this "show!" It would be hilarious if it were a real show :)

  5. Q - YOU, sir, ARE A FRIGGIN' GENIUS!!!! This is an absolutely hilarious idea. I've gotta say, I'd have to pick my homie, T-Cat (Falen) to be my roomie - because she's got the booze and I know she'd have my back in a bar fight. BAHAHA! And I just need to know - why do YOU get to be the cynical brotha??? Why couldn't I have been the cynical brotha??? LMAO!

  6. I am bunking with Falen!!! And I got dibs on Brandon!

  7. @ Tsaritsa - With your donation of $799...

    @ Reck - You and Falen would be a show within itself. Even a phone conversation between you two would be funny enough. And I'm a natural-born cynic! There's nothing I like more than sarcasm. I'm thinking of teaching a class on it.

  8. @ Lynn - Dag, Falen is just Miss Popular! No one wants to bunk with the guy who had the idea! Fine! I hope all of you get eliminated!

  9. OK OK OK FINE. I'll bunk with you Q... Keep your hands off! lol

  10. Q - I'd have picked you for a bunkmate, but I'm afraid I'd be fighting you for rights to be the cynical brotha! BAHAHAHA!

  11. LOL @ Reck! If I were not cynical, I wouldn't have any talents at all.

  12. Everyone gets dibs on Brandon. I've got the king size, vibrating bed, with all the satin sheets and Al Green music.

    Oh, and drama pairings? Me and reck. I'm pushing buttons, and she's cracking skulls. She's either destined to murder me, or we will be the unstoppable duo that leaves everyone else in the dust.

    Either way, it makes for good TV.

    I love this idea! And helena is a quick drive for me. I'm down! Fox, pick this shit up!

  13. @ Brandon, you and Reck would either wind up as a match made in heaven or a crime scene. I'm unsure of which one.

  14. OMG@ HELL YEAH I AM IN! This is genius and sounds like allot of fun. Count me in!

  15. Idahomie - It's ON like DONKEY KONG...I'll see your button-pushing and skull-cracking and raise you a warrant and a getaway car...LMAO!! But, you'll have to drive, because I suck at getting places (without a GPS).

  16. A getaway car! LOL! Oh, it's so on! This will be Real World, Survivor, and Cops rolled into one!

  17. Q wheres the love? I want in. Sorry for being MIA but I thought of your blog and am back in a limited sense but I'm back. BTW I emailed you that I was down to do a radio show w u but never heard back. Lets do this!

  18. WOO HOO! Knowing my ass I will start an undercover clique and we'll just sit on the couch and do nothing!!! lol Every clip will have my punk ass passed out on the couch while Reckmonster holds my hair pack and Lynn holds the can I barf in ;)

  19. Aww sucks I can't wait to see how this unfolds lol

  20. @ Iz, hit me up at about the radio show. We can definitely make it happen!

    @ EmDottie, I'm scared. LOL!

  21. Just want to warn you, I'm a lousy host. I wouldn't volunteer to be in the house, host the party, or clean up after Reck brawls her way from room to room swinging Brandon's leg at everyone.

    But if I HAVE to play the straight man, be prepared for some mighty bizarre twists to your little house-world. Creative confusion is my specialty.

    Sign me up.

    Hey, can we finish our vacation before I have to sober up and think about this shit too much???
    We're still in our own reality show, stuck without electricity in a chalet in the Smokies for two days of our week's stay, the road washed out so we couldn't even leave the resort~!

    Thank god we brought lots of food and alcohol.

    Back home Tuesday with an update.

  22. Squatlo, it will take a week or so to organize this, so take your time and enjoy the mountains!

  23. whoa I am afraid... very very afraid! I can't wait...
    and awfully genius idea!

  24. Thanks, SY! We'll see what happens. The first episode is very funny! It looks like it could be a lot of fun.


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