Friday, April 25, 2014

Roger Goodell (@nflcommish), What Are You Doing To Me?

First of all, if you're not an NFL fan then you may not understand (or care about) half of the things I'm talking about in this blog post.

Every season the NFL tries to secure more and more television revenue and it's killing me as a fan.  At one time in my life, I could reach back and pull memories out of my mind of many games that most people had forgotten.  Not any more.  It's too much.  The NFL is overloading my senses and I'm starting to see a familiar pattern that I saw the NBA take 25 years ago.

The Schedule

I absolutely love football.  If it were up to me, I would attend a high school game on Friday nights, watch college games on Saturdays and the NFL on Sundays.  But, the NFL has made that next to impossible for me to do regularly.

I have a job as a PA announcer for a high school football team.  For at least six Friday nights out of the Fall, I'm calling their games.

I'm a Michigan Wolverines fan when it comes to college football.  Every Saturday I try to watch them play along with other major match-ups in the Top 25 and SEC.

My Sundays during the NFL season consist of me sitting in my man chair at 1 PM Eastern Time and pretty much remaining there until the night game ends around Midnight Eastern Time.  Then I watch the Monday Night game the next evening.  Now the Commissioner has installed another night (Thursdays) for the NFL and it's just too much for me.

If I were a college student with a ton of free time then this would be absolutely great!  But, as a grown man with a full-time job and a lady who has teen kids it's a problem.  I can't block off Sundays, Mondays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays for four months.  Very few people can.  But, that's what Roger Goodell is asking the die-hard fans to do.

Last year I missed more NFL games than I have ever missed since the invention of the NFL Sunday Ticket back in 1994.  I had to make decisions each week to either sacrifice the Monday game or the Thursday game because I just didn't have time to do both.  Then the worst feeling that a die-hard fan could have came over me towards the end of the season: I started to not care.

I would look to see who was playing and if it wasn't a premier team then I would find something else to do and miss the game entirely.  It's the same attitude that I developed when the NBA started coming on every single night thanks to TV money.  When the NBA was limited in its viewing I would bite, scratch and kick to see a game.  Now I won't even watch any more than a handful of games before the 2nd round of the playoffs because it's on every single night.

The saturation of the NBA did that to me over the course of just a few years and now the NFL is doing the same. A guy who could watch the two worst teams play because of his love of the game will now miss the first half of a divisional rivalry game because his life can't accommodate football four days a week.  There's just not enough time.

The Draft

Back in the day, the NFL Draft occurred in late April on a Saturday and Sunday morning.  The Draft consists of seven rounds (three rounds were on Saturday and four were on Sunday) and is completely boring to a casual fan, but an amazing event to a die-hard.  On April 20th, 2002 I had one of the best days of my life.  I was married at the time and on my honeymoon.  The NFL Draft came on that Saturday morning and my late wife gave me the entire day to watch it.  I sat in an over-sized chair and watched the first three rounds of the Draft within full-view of the ocean.  For a true football fan, it didn't get any better than that.

Fast-forward to today and what do we have?  The Draft now isn't until May (for May Sweeps) starts on Thursday night during primetime.  So, now I have to get home from work and get things done prior to the Draft starting instead of having a weekend day to relax and ease into it.  But, it gets worse: Thursday night is only for the 1st round of the Draft.  If I want to see the 2nd and 3rd rounds then I have to tune in on Friday night.

Seriously?  And then on Saturday you pick the 4th through the 7th rounds?  A three day event?  Then there's a headline today stating that Goodell wants to make it a four day event and get Sundays back in the mix?  Sorry, but I can't...


I've reached my limit.  Mark Cuban (owner of the Dallas Mavericks) was right.  The NFL will burn itself out in less than a decade at the rate they're going.  Guys like me will eventually start to pick and choose which games interest us and ignore the others.  It's not because we want to, but because there's just not enough time in a week to have a life and meet obligations with the NFL on three or more nights a week.

Eventually, the NFL will be on seven days a week like the NBA and MLB.  You're laughing right now, but don't say that I didn't warn you.  Just like an 18-game schedule, franchises in Canada and London, and more teams being allowed in the Playoffs, it's inevitable.  There's just too much money on the table for it not to be.


Monday, April 21, 2014

Powdered Alcohol? #Palcohol

"Would you like a sprinkle of Cosmo with that, dear?"
Alcohol was a cool person's hobby at one time.  You can watch the classic movies and see the well-dressed man talking to a well-dressed woman at a bar.  He'd order her a drink and would light her cigarette.  The bartender would grab two bottles, mix the drinks into a glass and pour it "over the rocks."  The couple would sip their drinks and exchange numbers before he'd kiss her hand and call a cab for her.

That's how they got down in the 60's.  Fast-forward to 2014 and the scenario barely resembles itself.

A casually-dressed man talking to a casually-dressed woman at a bar.  He'd ask to buy her a drink, but he can't light a cigarette for her due to the no smoking ordinance.  The bartender would grab a Dasani bottled water and a Palcohol pack, mix the drink and powder into a glass and pour it "over the rocks."  The couple would sip their drinks and exchange Instagram Likes before he took her home, did her without a condom, and got her pregnant.

Wait.  Too much?

Anyway, I said all of that to talk about the new company called Palcohol.  Their newest contribution to society is powdered alcohol that comes in small packs.  Well, it's not necessarily new, but it is the first, to my knowledge, to be government-approved.  When you think about it, carrying "Kool-Aid packs" of vodka is a lot easier than a crate full of bottles.  This move that could take nightclubs by storm and save tons of money in shipping costs.

It also doesn't hurt that everything else is pretty much flavored now.  Flavored water, coffee, beer.  You name it and someone has added a spice or fruit to it.  This is the logical next step.  Some of the flavors include: Lemon Drop, Cosmopolitan, and Mojito.  It basically takes about 1/2 cup to equal one drink.  Just add water and stir.

Of course some idiot will probably snort the powder.  It will absorb immediately and will get them as high as giraffe booty, but I'm pretty sure it can harm you, too.  So, I would advise against it although I know there are minors waiting in line to try it as soon as the stuff is released in the stores.

Does mixing your martini with a swizzle stick take the "class" out of drinking for you?  After all, drinking is still a sophisticated act for some.  To most people in today's society it probably will not.  People don't necessarily drink to be cool any more.  They drink to get drunk.  They could care less if it's a bottle of Grey Goose poured into a classy glass or some powdered Mad Dog 20/20 mixed into a coffee thermos.

Does mixing your alcohol in a glass at the bar take the classiness out of drinking?

Monday, April 14, 2014

Celebrities & Sex Tapes

Well, I guess you shouldn't call them "sex tapes" any more since VCRs are a thing of the past.  But, the term is a hard habit to break.  What once ended careers is now almost a guaranteed trip to stardom with the right, er, uh, exposure.

Most people say that the first-ever celebrity sex tape was of one of my favorite childhood crushes, Jayne Kennedy.  She was the "Halle Berry of the late 70's and early 80's."  Wait.  Maybe I should say that Halle Berry was the "Jayne Kennedy of the 90's."

Ironically, Jayne won the Miss Ohio USA Pageant 16 years before Halle won that title for herself.  Jayne had endorsements galore until one day a tape of her and her ex-husband was left in a hotel room VCR.  Her life has never been the same.

The sex tape found it's way to the media and as soon as the news was out Jayne's endorsements were gone.  The lady, whose squeaky-clean image was so legendary that she even posed in Playboy with her clothes on, was done.  Her career was over just like that.  She was reduced to late night infomercials.

Fast forward to today and it's quite the opposite.  Paris Hilton, Farrah Abraham and more have all made big splashes from their sex tapes.  In less than 40 years, society has changed from the point of shunning Jayne Kennedy for having sex with her husband to handing a multi-million dollar career to Kim Kardashian for banging Ray J.

Recently, "Love & Hip-Hop" "star," Mimi Faust released a trailer for a sex tape of her and some dude named Nikko.  The video ties into the season premiere of the reality show on May 5th and will be sold by about week before it airs.  What once ended careers is now a calculated move by celebrities looking for that Kardashian payout.  #Marketing

It doesn't matter what caliber of celebrity you are as long as you can generate a buzz.  Mimi's tape has already done that by becoming one of the trendiest memes.  Her scene where she's hanging from a shower rod has taken Instagram by storm.

That's all it takes to be famous in 2014.  A willing participant and a little creativity in the bedroom.

What do you think draws people to celebrity sex tapes?

Monday, April 7, 2014

#AfterSex Selfies? Seriously?





That is an example of the nervous twitch my eye had when I came across this phenomenon.  Taking selfies after having sex and then sharing it with the world.  In a country where people complain about having surveillance cameras on street corners for protection is a violation of privacy, we have people sharing the after-shocks of their sex faces.

(Deep breath)

I guess that I shouldn't be surprised by this.  Social media has created an illusion that everyday people are Hollywood stars.  It's created an attitude that a person has fans who care what they're doing every single minute of the day.  Because of that, nothing is sacred any more.

Now, I realize that I'm 42 years old and I'm not too far away from telling kids to "get off of my lawn!"  However, that doesn't mean that I never did anything stupid when I was young.  I know that kids will be kids and do things that 40-somethings and above will not understand.  But, the difference I see in my generation and younger generations is that we did appear to have more pride in ourselves.  Some things will still sacred to us.  To them it's just trying to get attention and responses from their "fans."

Because of that, I refuse to search for #ToiletTweet for fear of what I will find.

How did we wind up parenting a generation where nothing appears to be sacred?

Dude, keep your private life to yourself.

Friday, April 4, 2014

A Hairy Situation

Click to enlarge or right-click to open full page
Guys are very visual when it comes to women.  Some of us are very particular when it comes to the opposite sex.  We have things that we like.  We have things that we love.  But, we also have things that are deal breakers.

Deal breakers differ from guy to guy, but a lot of us have very similar things that we just don't like to see on a woman.

Take a look at the lady to the right in the photo.  She's an attractive lady and is in great shape.  However, if you enlarge the photo then you will see that she has fine hair covering most of her body.

Would that be an issue for some dudes?  Ladies, how do you feel about it?  Is it a good look or not?

All of us have imperfections that we have to deal with in some shape, form or fashion.  Fat guys have man boobs.  Some dudes have baby-making hips.  Some women have big hands/feet.  Some women don't have any (feminine) curves.

You should never judge a book by its cover, but let's be honest: we generally do.  However, is it different if it's something that a person has control over or not?

Recently, Madonna released a photo that shows that she doesn't shave under her arms.  She hashtagged it #LongHairDontCare which is absolutely hilarious.  However, how do you feel about the photo?  Does it not matter to you?  Is it repulsive?

If Madonna wasn't a multi-million dollar celebrity would this be a deal breaker for a majority of guys who may have wanted to approach her?  Would it also make them consider that she may be hairy in another place on her body?

I know that I run the risk of a feminist group coming down on me for even posting about women and body hair.  I'm not saying what Madonna has done is somehow wrong or anything like that.  People should be attracted to others based on personal preference and not worldly preferences.

How do you feel about women who are hairy in non-traditional places?


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