Monday, May 30, 2011

Embracing Diversity

As you know, I recently hit the 100 follower mark. People from multiple backgrounds around the globe fill that list and it feels great to interact with them all. It's a feeling that I welcome because I wasn't able to experience as a kid.

I enjoy meeting people from different backgrounds. I'm not just talking about someone who may have grown up in the "deep country" or in the "big city". I'm talking about people who have immediate roots in foreign countries.

Growing up in Mississippi, pretty much everything in my school was black and white. Literally. We had roughly eight Hispanics, maybe two Asians and one Indian. I was vice president of our high school Spanish Club, so I knew most of the Hispanics. I had a class with the Indian, Pratop, who was fascinated by blondes and saw little-to-no time to hang out with the likes of my crew. I didn't know either of the Asians classmates while in school, but later met one of them a decade later in a nightclub when she recognized me. My knowledge of her barely went past a brief conversation that night.

So, pretty much through all of my youth, everyone I came in contact with daily was either black or white. I never got a chance to embrace different cultures until much later in life as I got into the workplace. Over time, I got to travel and I met and established friendships with my first Asian, Russian, German, etc. Now I have a melting pot of associates and the blogging world has extended that opportunity even more.

I've interacted with people from all over the world and I would just like to say "thanks." From Paula in Germany or Alice X in England to my Cuban-born blogging inspiration, Annah.

So, regardless if you're a Ukrainian-Canadian redhead named Cherie living on the west coast or a black, Mississippi educator sharing my home state like Diana, then I have much love for you!

If you're one of my readers from out of the country, please say "hello" in the comments below! I'd love to hear from you and find out how you found the blog.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Props to Mynx! #100

I just recently hit Follower #100 and her name is Mynx!

Props to her for helping me hit the century mark and to show my appreciation, I'm going to pimp her blogs for all of you to check out!

You can find her blogs here:

Secret Pleasures

Something Else

- and -


Thanks, Mynx!

It's very nice to know that 100 people thought enough of me to allow me to bog down their Google Reader with my weekly rants and crazy thoughts. Although comments are more of a true representation of viewership, it's still nice to know that I've had this number of people take time to support the blog!

Thanks to you all!

Friday, May 27, 2011

The Real Blogger Shore's Amazing Undercover Idol X

A crazy idea that came about during a blog roll has come to fruition...

Here's the setup:

(What follows is a fictional account of a reality show based upon the lives and interactions of a group of bloggers from around the country who are brought together to share a luxury log home in the mountains of Helena, Montana. Each of these very talented writers has agreed to share part of their time and creativity by advancing the story-line of this fictional reality show in turns, following one another’s lead and taking the story wherever their twisted little minds want it to go. Readers who want to follow along are encouraged to visit each of these blogs frequently to keep up with the tale as it progresses, and comments, suggestions, and snarky remarks are welcome! The following “cast” of misfits will share a beautiful mansion, where they will live together, interact, and try to write while putting up with the annoying people who suddenly clutter up their lives:

Sonia from LogAllot, Quincy from Thank, Q for Common Sense, Michelle W. from Mommy Confessions, Michelle R. from Rantings of the Reckmonster, Lynn from Thoughts of A Randomista, Falen from Colorful Rants of A Fed Up Sista, Brandon from My Own Private Idaho, and Alexandra from the Tsaritsa sez. The show’s very reluctant host is Bob from Squatlo Rant.)

Now don't start reading the finale without starting from scratch. I promise you that it will be worth it!

Squatlo Rant: The Real Blogger Shores Amazing Undercover Idol: Part I
LogAllot: The Real Blogger Shores Amazing Undercover Idol: Part II
Thank, Q: The Real Blogger Shores Amazing Undercover Idol: Part III
Mommy Confessions: The Real Blogger Shores Amazing Undercover Idol: Part IV
Reckmosnter: The Real Blogger Shores Amazing Undercover Idol: Part V
TOAR: The Real Blogger Shores Amazing Undercover Idol: Part VI
Colorful Rants: The Real Blogger Shores Amazing Undercover Idol: Part VII
My Own Private Idaho: The Real Blogger Shores Amazing Undercover Idol: Part VIII
the Tsaritsa sez: The Real Blogger Shores Amazing Undercover Idol: Part IX

I opened my eyes. It's morning. We've spent weeks on this show and we've basically accomplished nothing. I've already had calls from multiple talk shows asking for an appearance. I have three upcoming cover shoots for People, Jet, and U.S. Weekly magazines. My agent... yes, I now have an agent... just informed me that I now have my first endorsement in an Adidas commercial with Dwight Howard's baby's momma. If that goes well, maybe I'll get a commercial with Dwight. All of this attention. All of this success. For what? For getting on television, in a house, with a bunch of crazy people and being as unproductive as possible.

Now I know what it feels like to be a Kardashian....

TQ Presents...

The Real Blogger Shore's Amazing Undercover Idol

I go into the den and step over the bodies on the floor all covered in red paint. What in the world happened last night? Still unsure of what Brandon put in Alex's brownies, I go over to the pan to check for leftovers to inspect. Not a crumb. The entire pan was consumed and the end-result was Reck lying on the floor with her legs across Lynn's chest. Brandon was face down on the couch and Falen was on his back. Alex was asleep on the table and Sonia was napping underneath it. Wait. Where's Michelle? I looked in Bob's man cave, I checked poolside, and I even went through the bedrooms. No Michelle. I make my way over to the intercom. "Warren?"

"Yes, sir?" he replied.

"Have you seen Michelle?" I asked.

"No, sir, I'm afraid that no one has left the premises." he responded.

"Okay, thanks," I said with a hesitation as I tried to backtrack on where she could be. "Let me know if you see her."

I walk over to Lynn and throw Reck's leg off of her. "Lynn, wake up!" I shouted while tugging on her shirt.

"Just make it quick and try not to make a mess, okay?" she responded as she rolled onto her stomach while still half-asleep.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Don't wake me if you can't take me," she mumbled just seconds before resuming a quiet snore.

Shaking my head, I stepped over to Reckmonster. "Reck, wake up!" I shouted.

Reck woke up with both fists balled up. "Man, don't roll up on me like that while I'm sleeping!" she exclaimed. "You almost got 'past-tensed!'"

Ignoring her, I started, "I've searched the house and I can't find Michelle. Get up and help me look for her."

Reck pops up and starts to search for her other boot. She wakes up Sonia and we all go upstairs to get out of the clothes covered in red paint. 10 minutes later, we're hopping in the limo and Warren is taking us into town. We're not supposed to travel alone which leaves us very concerned about Michelle. As many of the locals we had partying with us last night, there's no telling who may have been invited in Bob's place. There's been so much pandemonium as of late that anything could have happened.

We stop at the grocery store and shopping mall with no sign of Michelle. "Could be getting a drink?," Sonia asked.

"For breakfast?," Reck followed with a twisted look on her face.

"Yeah, like a mimosa or something," finished Sonia. "Let's check out Tall Tails."

Warren drives us over to the bar and we check inside. We asked Helga if she's seen Michelle and she replies that she hasn't. After a brief search of the premises, we turn to leave and as we reach the door, we hear someone scream out, "YOU!!!!!!"

The bar goes silent as we all turn around and this hulking figure is coming towards us. "Grizz?," I start. "I thought you were in jail!"

"No, I'm not Grizz!," he said with an evil grin on his face. "I'm his twin brother, Stanley."

Reck bursts out into laughter. Everyone turns and looks at her wondering what in the world was so funny. Reck catches her breath just long enough to belt out, "Your brother is called 'Grizz' and you're 'Stanley'? Bwu-ha-ha-haaa!"

"Reck, what are you doing?," Sonia whispered with a chuckle.

Then Sonia starts laughing. And before you know it, everyone is laughing... except for Stanley, of course. Stanley's face slowly transitioned from a look of anger to a look of humilation. I said,"Look, er.. uh, Stanley (room bursts into laughter again). You are aware of what we did to Grizz, aren't you?"

Stanley reluctantly nods. "You don't want the same thing to happen to you, do you?," I said with growing confidence.

Stanley shakes his head as he looks towards the ground. "Then go back there to your seat and enjoy your food and there will be no trouble," Reck instructed. "You're not nearly the tough guy that your brother is."

A dejected and embarrassed Stanley turns around and mopes back to his table. We all go outside and take a look at one another and exhale in relief. Sonia asked, "What were you going to do if he charged at us?"

"I was going to grab the salt shaker off of the table and throw it at him," Reck said.

"You were going to hit that beast with a salt shaker?," I asked her. "That's like hitting Godzilla with a Tic Tac!"

"And what exactly were you going to do, Q?" asked Sonia.

"I had a plan!," I snapped.

"A health plan is the only plan you had," started Sonia. "He would've hospitalized you."

"Get in the car!" I said ignoring the response.

We pull into the driveway of the mansion and our worst nightmare has come to fruition. Bob and his wife just got out of a taxi in front of the mansion. He and his wife cut their vacation short. They couldn't stand it any longer knowing what we've done to their home. We could hear Bob fussing, as he got out of the cab, about how his limo driver wasn't available to pick him up at the airport. Bob and his wife turn around as the limo pulls into the courtyard. As we get out, he screams, "Why is Michelle on my roof!!!!????"

We look up on the second floor and there was Michelle taking a nap on a canopy over the second floor balcony. "Holy Hangover," Reck started, "how did she get up there? And what in the world did Brandon put in those brownies?"

All of this time we've been looking for her and she never left the property. "Warren," Bob started, "get her down before she falls and sues me."

Bob and his wife leave their luggage outside and start walking towards the house. Sonia is running down the street behind the departing taxi. She's trying to catch a ride away from the mansion before Bob reaches inside. Reck and I don't know whether to stall him or just let him go inside and get it over with.

We decide to stay outside and not follow them in the mansion. Sonia has made her way back into the courtyard after losing a 100 yard dash to a taxi that wasn't interested in giving her an escape route from "The Squatlos."

Bob and his wife go through the door... (pulsing heartbeat)

To find out what happened when Bob got inside, then be sure to check out each blogger's confessionals! Each person who participated in the story will give a brief summary of what Bob and/or his wife said to them once they got into the house and witnessed the destruction of his home to the hands of eight bloggers. The confessionals will all be eventually linked to this post. Thanks to everyone who kept up with the storyline!

My Own Private Idaho: Confessional

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Hooters and Bikinis (Blog Post #200)

What man doesn't like Hooters? It's a place where you can get halfway decent food and have your ego boosted. Ladies, men love a boost to their ego. Anything that makes a man feel like he's God's gift to women will make him want to come back for more. Hooters is that place. Food, sports, and women in low cut shirts and short-shorts.

Every year, there's a swimsuit competition at the Jackson location. I haven't been in the past few years, but like Mardi Gras, my experiences there have been memorable. Not from hot red heads or some slammin' brunette, but from the people who come to see them.

You should see what comes out of the woodworks for a bikini competition. The lowest scum of the earth will appear whenever skin is exposed!

Okay, so I'm there with two co-workers. This is the 2nd event we've attended, so we're already resigned to the fact that whoever we think looks the best won't win. My co-workers and I prefer "Apple Bottoms," (a lady with a nice, big, round, and juicy one) but, most of the contestants are pretty thin and lack the "forbidden fruit." Despite that, we're pretty happy with the contestants and then we noticed that a guy sitting next to us is pretty happy as well. A little too happy.

This dude is in the mid-to-late 40's and is working the comb over. He has on overalls and has so much stubble on his face that it looks like baby spiders are having a meeting on his cheeks. My co-workers and I agreed to call this guy "Otis" since the name seemed to fit. Every time a young lady walks by his table, he mutters "Good Lord" under his breath and stares at that lady's butt like he's trying to put a spell on it. He's sitting by himself with a bucket of beer and he refuses to blink out of fear that he might miss something. So, contestant #1 comes out and Otis starts rocking back and forth and making these weird grunting noises as if he's trying to communicate to a camel. My co-workers and I, who are standing, slowly slide away from Otis who looks as if his head is about to explode.

Otis almost lost his mind when she came out.
To the other side of us is a table with three guys. All of them have "The Most Interesting Man in the World" vibe going on about them. They whisper when they talk, frequently check their cell phones, and one of them even has his BMW keys on the table so that everyone knows he's riding in luxury. These guys are obviously posers who want some of the ladies to think they're ballin' out of control. They're wearing suits despite the fact that the Mississippi heat in May is hotter than Halle Berry in a skillet.  When a woman walked out, they would barely even look at her as if they were too cool to do so.  I'm thinking to myself, "Dude, why are you here?  Who are you trying to impress because it obviously isn't a lady."

None of the ladies could get those guys' attention.  They were way too cool for that.

So, towards the end of the event, it's started to get hot under the tent despite the sun going down 20 minutes ago. There's one last interesting guy that I spot. There's this tall guy (maybe 6'6" or 6'7") who stands out despite the fact that he's seated. Whenever one of the contestants is eliminated from the competition, he catches their hand as they leave the stage and whispers something to them. I didn't think much of it the first time he did it, but after the sixth or seventh girl it became comical.

Does he really think that he can continue to do this and get a number from one of these ladies? Doesn't he know that they see him doing this to each lady that leaves the stage? Either this guy is stupid or he only dates stupid women. This just goes to show you, ladies: regardless how immature a man's approach is towards you, he only does what works for him. Obviously, this guy has whispered into his fair share of ears with success or I guarantee you that he wouldn't continue to do it.

The eventual winner.  She deserved it.  She brought attitude with the shape.

So, the eventual winner makes her way out to strut her victory lap around the stage. She's a red head that was the attitude to go with a tight, little package. Otis definitely approves because he's rocking so hard in his seat that he's about to take flight. Even one of the posers took his sunglasses off to get a better look. The tall guy was gone at this point, so maybe something he whispered to one of the runner-ups worked out for him.

When it was all said and done, it was an interesting night. Me and my co-workers got to have a guy's night out and I got memories that are now part of a blog post. I have to give those ladies credit. It takes a lot of guts to get on stage in a two-piece in front of so many different types of guys. You don't know if you're advertising yourself for a potential husband, stalker, or sugar daddy. I've always been curious to the type of security provided for these women when they leave work. I'd hate for them to be on their way to their car and they hear grunting coming from Otis some where in the vicinity.

A lot of ladies hate on Hooters Girls. They call them whores, hoochies, or whatever. I just think they're people trying to make a dollar like everyone else in the world. They're not giving lap dances or hand jobs. They're giving out chicken wings and beers while mixing in an occasional bikini once a year.

"What's wrong with that?," asks the man. :)

(The conclusion of the The Real Blogger Shore's Amazing Undercover Idol is coming soon! - To see what the hype is about, go here and get started...)

Sunday, May 22, 2011

The Billboard Awards: Play-By-Play

I hate award shows. I truly do. The people I always think deserve to win never win. It's some sort of popularity contest or who creates the biggest story more so than who's actually the most talented (in my opinion).

Having said all of that, I felt the need to watch The Billboard Awards tonight. Why?

A) There's no football to occupy my Sunday Night
B) Everyone else and their grandmother will be watching and tweeting, so I may as well join the fun, right?
C) I pray that Kanye West gets on stage and says, "Willow Smith's video was better than Justin Beiber's" or something.

So, check in from time-to-time this evening to see updates on what I'm seeing.

7:01 PM CDT - Oh, great! Rihanna kicks things off with a family-friendly S&M song. Nice! What is this? Is this a Britney Spears sighting? So, a has-been is now on stage with a modern star and they're doing dances on a stripper pole with chains. Gotta love Rated: G TV! Way to kick things off ABC!

Strippers R Us commercial

7:06 PM - I'm not sure Ken Jeong simulating masturbating on stage with Nicki Minaj is much better. Dag, Justin Beiber is wearing Hugh Hefner's jacket. He will be upset.

7:10 PM - The best the Billboard Award could do are fold-up chairs? LOL! As much money as this production cost, you did't spring for more comfortable chairs? I see right now that my patience with this show. Taylor Swift won an award. I've never really listen to her, so I'm not sure if she can really sing or not.

7:12 PM - I wonder if Green Lantern will be a good movie? I always thought he would be one of the toughest super heroes to make cool.

How cool is a man with a lantern on his chest?

7:19 PM - Okay, the second award they're giving out, albeit so much faster than the Grammys, look like the same nominees for the first award. Justin Beiber finally wins an award. Esperanza can now come out of the shelter she's been staying. You're safe, sweetie. Justin got an award so his fans won't act a donkey on you any more. Your Wikipedia page is safe.

7:21 PM - Kylie Minogue! I haven't seen her in almost half a decade. I guess she's trying to get more face time for her newest album, "Aphrodite." She's introducing the Black Eyed Peas who appear to have left over neon suits from the Super Bowl. They are seriously auto-tuning tonight. I was hoping to hear someone's real voice tonight. Well, not Rihanna's, but aside from that, I wanted to actually hear someone sing. Then again, Fergie doesn't sound great tonight. I have to admit, after enjoying the Super Bowl Halftime Show, I'm starting to think that the BEP's have worn out their welcome. I'm totally wanting them off the stage now.

Another neon suit, Fergie?

7:44 PM - A Mr. Worldwide sighting! Now I can hear some real music. I'm down with Pitbull's music. That dude can flat-out get a party started with that South Beach jam. I think NeYo is a pretty good performer as well. I had no idea that they did a song together. I can't say that I care for it a whole lot, but it's not horrible. The lady singing backup is pretty bad though. Who decides who sings what on these shows?

7:50 PM - Lady Antebellum is still winning awards off of that "Need You Now Song." Talk about getting good mileage! Isn't that song basically a country star's version of a booty call?

7:59 PM -Beyonce is trying to restore her image or something with having the First Lady speak? I have to admit, the choreography of this performance has to be one of the best I've seen since Jacko was alive. The way they intertwined her live performance with the green screen in the background was absolutely amazing! And I don't give props easily. Kanye had a right to run our and claim this as the best performance this time.

Best live performance ever?  Could be!

8:12 PM - Selena Gomez needs to eat. She looks like a mop with a perm. Who's the short member of the BEP's? He looks like hamster with a mohawk. I didn't even know that he could speak.

8:17 PM- Here we go! A Cee-Lo performance. I have to admit that I'm upset that he's not in his NBC logo outfit. Did this dude just levitate his piano in the air and flip it? Okay, I'm seeing some pretty spectacular stuff on this awards show. I know I don't watch too many, but seeing a guy turn a flip while sitting on his piano chair is nuts. He had to be a good 10 feet off of the stage, too.

This dude flipped upside down in his piano chair while singing.  Nuts.

8:39 PM - Snoop Dogg has his own microphone to announce nominees. LOL! That dude is something else. And this Far East Movement group has one slamming song, but I'm unaware if they're actually any good or not. How did Ke$ha get nominated for anything other than garbage? That just shows that the world just could have ended on yesterday. Uh, oh! Did Justin Beiber just kiss Selena Gomez? Guard your Wikipedia page, sweetie! The haters are coming! I can't believe Beiber is 17 and his voice still sounds like an eight year old.

8:46 PM - Another Harry Potter movie? Really? Hasn't J.K. Rowling made enough money or is she related to George Lucas?

8:47 PM - I have to admit that Ken Jeong is very unfunny right now. His acts seem forced. He seems more of comedy relief and is contributing nothing as a host. Hopefully, he gets better.

8:53 PM -Now the Far East Movement is performing and whoever this guy is singing with them is absolutely horrible! Ryan something. The Mrs. just asked me from the next room who was wailing in here. Not even Snoop performing with these guys can help them out. This song is flat-out unbearable to listen to at this time. This group is like an Asian version of Devo or something, but without the talent. Snoop actually looks his age tonight, too. Maybe it's time to slow down on the weed puffing, bro. You're almost 40, you know? How he got mixed in with this group is beyond me.

9:02 PM - Did Keri Hilson call Mary J. Blige the "Queen of R&B?" I don't know if I'll go that far despite the fact she's been around for almost two decades. I'd give that title to Mariah Carey before her although that may piss some people off since Mariah is classified as "white" to most black people. Skip that. You don't have to be "black" to be considered R&B. Christina Aguilera and Mariah Carey are just as soulful if not more than MJB.

9:08 PM - A Ke$ha performance is coming up next? This I have to see.

9:13 PM - Okay, Ke$ha is performing now and my ears aren't bleeding yet. I just need to come to the realization that I'm way past the age where I think any music that came out after 1995 sucks. This is not singing. I have no idea what this banshee is talking about, but watching this performance seems like a substitute for doing acid. I wish I had Andy Dick's phone number to ask his opinion on that.

Only an acid trip will leave you dancing with horsemen.

9:29 PM - Rihanna just won an award and she hugged everyone in the audience. I just asked on Twitter if these artists even care when they win these things, but I guess she does.

9:35 PM - Do you hear that sound? It's the sound of me tapping out. I can't take any more of this. Ken Jeong is non-existent and non-funny. Wait, did Verizon have a commercial with an Asian customer being served by an Asian customer service rep? And why did I notice? Because you rarely see Asian representation on American TV? Hmmmmmmm....

I'm out. The next sound you hear will be me flipping over to the NBA Playoffs to peep the Heat/Bulls. Besides, I have a standing appointment on Sundays @ 10 PM for those who know me. :)

Click here to see The Grammys: Play-By-Play

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Body for Hire 2: Taylor Made for TV

She's baaaccckkk!!!  I kept wondering why the post I did on Taylor back in January stayed #1 as the most popular post. I did a little Googling and lo and behold, Taylor is on her way to VH1 or MTV and it's causing a buzz! The pilot, named "Girl Swagg," is a show that follows four women around Cincinnati. I'm sure the show will suck like every other reality show from MTV and VH1, but it will put Miss Stone, er, I mean, Corley, on the map.

And I'm cool with that! This lady took a marketable item, her shape, and turned it into a potential career in Hollywood. Cheering at Mississippi State, where she was criticized for posing in Playboy, will be in her rear view mirror as she takes to the TV screen (assuming the pilot makes it).

Now, I have no problem with anything Taylor has done. She hasn't done anything illegal and her nudity has been in the proper venues. But, I have to play devil's advocate for a bit. There appears to be a disturbing trend going on in Hollywood and in the music industry:

Is a sexy body the only way for a woman to make it in Hollywood today?

Kendra Wilkinson did her thing and turned a Playboy photo shoot into a reality show into "Dancing With The Stars." Maybe Taylor can dance with the stars as well since she has a cheerleader background. Has acting gone the way of the dinosaur when it comes to breaking into Hollywood? Will sexy curves beat out acting skills going forward? Even in music, when's the last time you saw an overweight female lead singer?

Should women be concerned that the trend is to put "sexy" over "talent?"

Now, this isn't to say that Taylor doesn't have potential to be a good actress some day, but it will be safe to say that her body will get her foot in the door. Regardless, this could be the start of something big for her. A lot of people have used their sex appeal to springboard into success: Vanessa Williams, Anna Nicole Smith, Jessica Hahn, Marilyn Monroe, and Halle Berry, to name a few notables.

It's Taylor's turn now. Or is it? With the number of reality shows coming out every month on top of the good-looking women, who are willing to do almost anything to be on them (including kiss Flava Flav, is there room for Taylor? Will she be noticed?

She will if I have anything to do with it. Taylor is going to be my marketing project (although she doesn't know it). I'm joining Team Taylor and doing what I can to turn her Playboy spread (no pun intended since the Playboy is tastefully done) into an Emmy award!

Here we go Taylor, he we go! (clap, clap!)

Body for Hire, Part I

By the way, I hope you don't mind me borrowing the photos since I'm your underground marketing agent...

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

What Name Will Show How We Feel?

Okay, a short post, but I had to throw this out to all of you. A couple from Israel wanted to give their daughter a name that even a hater could love: "Like."

As fans of Facebook, they named their newest born "Like" to give her a unique gift. Well, it's not completely unique. Their other two children are named Dvash (Hebrew for "honey") and Pie (English for "pie"). "Honey Pie?" Really?

Besides, if you have to go the "famosity" route and do something unique, then why not go with "Love" as a name? Do you not think enough of your daughter to at least do that? Then again, I could see the confusion. The only think worse than "I love you, Like" is "I love you, Love."

Poor girl has a long road ahead of her. Now all of her future classmates will sound like 1983 Valley Girls when they speak with her. "Like, come here!" "Like, what are you doing?" "Like, oh, my God, you didn't just say that!"

Hopefully, this will be their last child. I'd hate to see a "Tweet," "Tumblr," or "Digg" in family photos in years to come.

Your 1st Birthday!

What is the dumbest name you've ever heard?

Monday, May 16, 2011

Who's Next In Line?

Photo from first major role in "Strictly Business."
I can only speak for black men, but we have a standard when it comes to beauty. For almost two decades now, that standard bas been Halle Berry. Heck, I even watched that garbage of a movie, "Monster's Ball," just to see her. Many times I've heard black guys (and some women) say, "She looks good, but she's no Halle Berry."

Halle will be 45 years old come August 14th. Now, she still looks stunning, but I do think it's time to name a successor.

I want to nominate five black women (in no particular order) to replace Halle Berry as the next "standard." This person will be referred to whenever someone wants to make a comparison to a beautiful black woman. Who's next in line to be the next Halle?

#1 - Beyonce Knowles

Pros: She is known on a first name basis like Halle, so that helps. She's a world music icon and she has music videos that sets tons of trends in the dance clubs. Most under-30 somethings would argue that she took over the title from Halle at least four or five years ago.

Cons: Is she likable? She tends to have controversy follow her and accusations of arrogance. "Sasha Fierce" was even recently booed by paparazzi. How do you get booed by paparazzi?

#2 - Serena Williams

Pros: Also has first name fame and is a worldwide icon. Her fashion is eccentric and considered a trend setter by some. She also represents some of the dark chocolate goodness a lot of us love.

Cons: Is she a tad bit too much to handle physically and emotionally? She has biceps like Rambo and an attitude to match (given that she's threatened to do bodily harm on a tennis judge once).

#3 - K.D. Aubert

Pros: With lips that would bring a lollipop to tears of joy, Karen Denise started small as the strawberry girl in the Fanta cola commercials. She became more popular after her role in the horrible movie, "Soul Plane" and has now appeared on TV shows, commercials, and movies. She's young enough and has the personality and look to become "the standard."

Cons: She's yet to go mainstream. She doesn't have the name recognition as the others on the list and could get lost in the shuffle unless she has a major movie role coming soon.

#4 - Megan Good

Pros: Physically, Megan possesses some of the same qualities as K.D. She's much more accomplished in television and movies with her latest appearance in a recent release called "Jumping the Broom." She's curvy and has the sex appeal to carry the torch for the next decade. She is gaining steam as a "horror babe" with appearances in "The Unborn," "Saw V," and "One Missed Call."

Cons: Also like K.D., she isn't mainstream yet, but she's on her way. She still has a long way to go to compare to Halle, who is a household name and has done countless of major movies with leading roles.

#5 - Jennifer Hudson

Pros: She doesn't have that iconic first name, but she definitely has full name recognition. Jennifer Hudson slowly became a household name thanks to her performance on "American Idol" and her first movie break, "Dreamgirls." Hudson won 29 awards for her role in "Dreamgirls." She's also a success story with her weight loss after losing 80 lbs. A beautiful woman to match the voice.

Cons: Doesn't have that "boom boom pow." Hudson is more cute than she is sexy. You would be more inclined to pinch the cheeks on face rather than below her waist. She just doesn't have that "come get me" in her.

So, after going through the five that come to mind for me, which one do you think should carry the torch? If it's not any of the five, then list your write-in candidate in the comments below.

So many of the black sex symbols that came to my mind when making this list were over 35 years old: Stacey Dash (45), Lisa Raye (44), Sanna Lathan (39), Gabrielle Union (38), Leila Arcieri (37). I thought that maybe I was stuck in my generation, so I Googled some Top 10 Black Women lists and on three different lists, six of the 10 were over 35.

Maybe it's too soon to pass the torch. Maybe Halle has some "Lena Horne" in her and can hold her beauty for yet another decade.

Now that I think about it, what about black men standards? Denzel Washington was the standard for handsome black men for close to two decades as well. A shout out to anyone who wants to take the reins on this one and run with it: who is the standard the sistas go with now? Boris? Idris? Who?

First lady to comment below and volunteer to put their Top 5 Black Men nominees on their site will get linked to this post.

White guys and girls, I don't want to leave you out. You all have so many in which to choose from the acting stages to the recording studios. Who have you considered "the standard" over the last decade or two? Brad Pitt? Angelina Jolie? Jennifer Anniston? George Clooney?

First white man or woman to comment below and volunteer to put their Top 5 White Men / Women nominees on their site will get linked to this post.

We can do this for all ethnic groups who care to join (I didn't forget about you Iz (Jessica Alba?) and Reckmonster - (Manny Pacquiao?).

Let's find out what each group likes!

Turning heads since 1991.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Chuck E. Cheat

Yo, Timmy!!!??  Where's my money?  Pay your debts, Timmy!

First, read the quote below that comes from this site...

A San Diego woman has sued the company that owns the Chuck E. Cheese’s family restaurant chain, claiming that many of the games intended for children at these locations are actually illegal gambling devices — like slot machines.

Denise Keller, a local real estate agent and mother of two daughters ages 3 and 5, filed the potential class-action suit in U.S. District Court March 29. According to court documents, she is asking for a jury trial and damages and restitution of at least $5 million.

But attorney Eric Benink, who represents Keller, said the money is a secondary issue. The purpose of the lawsuit, he said, is to prevent Texas-based CEC Entertainment Inc., which owns and operates the restaurants in 48 states, from keeping the machines in its game rooms.

“We don’t think that children should be exposed to casino-style gambling devices at an arcade,” Benink said, adding that the games take only a few seconds to play and some of them feature a roulette-style wheel.

According to the complaint, many of the games in these rooms are operated by inserting tokens, which can be purchased for 25 cents each. When the games are finished, they dispense tickets that can be redeemed for prizes.

Does she make a point or is she nuts?

Sound off below in the comments!

Peep My Own Private Idaho: The Real Blogger Shore's Amazing Undercover Idol (weekend recap)

Saturday, May 14, 2011

The Best Ever!

Have you ever had anything this good? I recall driving two or there hours to see a woman as a youth. It seemed to be worth it to me. But, have you ever waited hours... for a hamburger?

I lost count some where around 87 cars in line in that video. This hamburger must be the best ever! If you would have shown me this video without any captions, I would have thought that it was Black Friday at Best Buy and they were giving away the entire Star Wars series on Blu Ray along with an iPad 2 in exchange for four can goods. I've never seen a line this long for any restaurant.

They opened their first In-N-Out Burger location in Texas in the Dallas suburb of Allen. In-N-Out is big on the West Coast and it's nice to see certain iconic restaurants spread love across the country.

One lady was so happy over the opening of the location, that she was brought to tears.

If the burgers are this freakin' good, then I need to load up the Regal and jet over to Allen, TX right now! Bringing people to tears? Is the burger made with unicorn meat or something magical? The next time I visit my brother in Dallas, I'm going to ask him to roll over to In-N-Out and give the burger a try. If it's better than the Hut's Hamburger I had in Austin a few years back, then they may be onto something. Mooner Johnson can probably testify to Hut's. I think he's from Austin.

But, if the line is that long when we arrive, then we're just going to hit a Burger King and call it a day!

Readers, have you tried this magic meat and if so, is it that good?

Peep My Own Private Idaho: The Real Blogger Shore's Amazing Undercover Idol (weekend recap)

Thursday, May 12, 2011

The Real Blogger Shore's Amazing Undercover Idol - Part III

It's on like Donkey Kong!

A crazy idea that came about during a blog roll has come to fruition...

The Real Blogger Shore's Amazing Undercover Idol Show has aired its first two episodes!

Here's the setup:

(What follows is a fictional account of a reality show based upon the lives and interactions of a group of bloggers from around the country who are brought together to share a luxury log home in the mountains of Helena, Montana. Each of these very talented writers has agreed to share part of their time and creativity by advancing the story-line of this fictional reality show in turns, following one another’s lead and taking the story wherever their twisted little minds want it to go. Readers who want to follow along are encouraged to visit each of these blogs frequently to keep up with the tale as it progresses, and comments, suggestions, and snarky remarks are welcome! The following “cast” of misfits will share a beautiful mansion, where they will live together, interact, and try to write while putting up with the annoying people who suddenly clutter up their lives:

Sonia from LogAllot, Quincy from Thank, Q for Common Sense, Michelle W. from Mommy Confessions, Michelle R. from Rantings of the Reckmonster, Lynn from Thoughts of A Randomista, Falen from Colorful Rants of A Fed Up Sista, Brandon from My Own Private Idaho, and Alexandra from the Tsaritsa sez. The show’s very reluctant host is Bob from Squatlo Rant.)

Now don't start reading Part III without starting from scratch. I promise you that it will be worth it!

Squatlo Rant: The Real Blogger Shores Amazing Undercover Idol: Part I
LogAllot: The Real Blogger Shores Amazing Undercover Idol: Part II

So, we all decide to head up to the rooms. I'm totally not feeling sleepy because I'm out of town in a place I've never been before and I just got here. I want to see Helena. "Yo, B?"

"What's up, Q?" Brandon asked while plodding up the stairs.

"I want to get out on the town," I started, "It's barely 10 o'clock and I'm nowhere near sleepy."

"Say the word," Brandon said seeming excited, "what's up?"

"Who cares?" I said. "We can go to whatever is open. I don't care if it's an IHOP or night club. But, we have to follow the rules Bob laid down. We have to travel in at least a group of three or more."

"I'm always down with a threesome, but who?" Brandon asks as he starts pulling out some blue jeans from his suitcase.

I walk over to the intercom system and hit the "Page" button. Warren responds, "How may I help you?"

"Warren, fire up the limo. Me, Brandon, and one of the ladies are stepping out."

Now, the common sense approach would be to take either Michelle W. or Sonia. They would probably be the safest of the bunch. But, this experience isn't about being "safe." It's about "exciting." I select one of the other buttons on the intercom. "What?" answers the voice of someone obviously annoyed with the fact that she's being disturbed.

"Reckmonster, grab your coat... we're hitting the town." A huge smile crosses my face while a look of concern crosses Brandon's.

Less than three minutes later, Reck comes down wearing black leather boots, a black pair of jeans, and a white button-down. "Let's roll." she says as she brushes past me and Brandon.

Warren opens the limo door and we all pile in. "Where to, sir?"

Brandon replies, "The most popular bar in town."

12 minutes later, we arrive at Tall Tails. It's a huge ranch-looking establishment at the edge of town. 4x4 Trucks and SUV's are lined up for two blocks. "Yo, Warren," I started. "I don't need to be concerned here, do I?"

"This is the most popular bar in town, sir. Everyone comes here."

"Well, I'm the only brotha in town, so I need to know I can step in here without fear of being the 'guest of honor.' I don't want to be like Eddie Murphy on 48 Hours. I don't have a badge."

"No worries, sir. It's perfectly on the up-and-up. Besides, we have two African-American players on the university's basketball team and they frequent here."

"Great," I think. "A total of three black men in a 500 mile radius. I feel so comfortable now."

We walk in as Warren pulls off in the limo. He's agreed to pick us back up in an hour. As we entered the building, Brandon mutters, "I wonder why it's called 'Tall Tails'?"

The last word trailed from his lips as we walked into the lounge and saw a plethora of scantily-cladded Amazon women serving drinks. The name of the bar comes from the fact that every waitress in the building is 6'0" or over... without heels. "No way," Brandon says as he spins around the room taking it all in. "Getting served drinks by a room full of Xena Warrior Princesses? I'm so moving to Helena!"

"Whatever. Height is overrated!" Reckmonster barks as her 5'0" frame pushes past me and Brandon on her way to the bar.

Brandon grabs a table and before I can sit down, I'm approached by a 6'1" blonde who asks me for a drink. Being that I'm only 5'6", I quickly appreciate my height as it had me eye-level with ample cleavage. "My name is Helga and I'll be your server."

Somehow I knew that was her name. Aren't all viking chicks named that? Reck makes her way back to the table and the three of us sit back and observe. Tonight is karaoke night and every drunk in Helena is taking turns singing songs from the 80's and 90's. People in the bar are dressed in everything from a hunting vest to an Armani suit. It appears many different classes of people are represented from farmers to CEO's.

Reck seems at ease sipping on her mixed drink and Brandon is downing the first of many planned beers. I'm working on a Diet Pepsi since I've never really been much of a drinker. 30 minutes go by and we're still fascinated by the karoke. Then the DJ announces the next act: "Your next performer is a budding new star on the reality circuit as well as an up-and-coming rapper. Put your hands together for The Tsaritsa!"

Brandon spits out his beer as we all look to the stage and Alexandra floats out and grabs the mic. Before I could say, "How did she get here?" here comes the rest of our group to the table.

"Why didn't you tell us you were leaving?" Lynn asked. "We didn't want to sit around all night either."

"Yeah, " Falen chimed. "I'll sacrifice sleep for a drink any day. Even if a blonde giraffe is serving them."

We pull up more chairs for Sonia and Michelle W to join the table. "We thought you all were tired, so we didn't ask," Brandon explained.

Alexandra cues the DJ to drop the beat and she starts performing Young MC's "Bust A Move." The people in attendance really got into it as the dance floor filled up within a matter of seconds. "Looks like our 'free spirit' is a hit!" Michelle W said.

"Don't just stand there... Bust A Move!"

For a split second, we were all getting along and enjoying ourselves as a group. Then things took a turn for the worse. A huge, burly, mustached, looked-like-he-belonged-on-a-paper-towel-wrapper, Paul Bunyan wanna be ducked his head as he entered the door. People started whispering, "It's Grizz!"

Grizz was a 6'10", 345 lb. felon fresh out of jail... and he wanted a woman. This guy was so big that he came into the room in sections. "W-w-what can I get you, Grizz?" one of the bartenders asked while spilling a drink.

"Let me get a Jack and Coke and hold the Coke!" he said with a voice that makes James Earl Jones sound like Dakota Fanning.

I asked Helga who the guy was. "Grizz is the meanest guy in town. He got his nickname from killing a grizzly bear when he was 10."

"With a weapon?" I asked.

"Yes, he had a boat oar," Helga replied.

"He bludgeoned a bear with a boat paddle!!!!???" I yelled.

"I think I just pissed myself," Brandon said.

Falen and Lynn giggled at the statement which caught the Grizz's attention. "Outsiders," he mumbled. "I haven't been in jail long enough to not know new faces when I see them."

He walked over to our table with two other guys in tow. He squats down in front of Michelle and strokes her cheek. "You're a newbie in these parts, aren't you, sugar?"

"Don't touch me!" Michelle snapped as she slapped his hand away.

Grizz turned to his friends and laughed which apparently was their cue to laugh as well. "We got a feisty one here, don't we, fellas?"

"Look, man," Brandon started. "We don't want any trouble. We're just having a few drinks."

"Did I say something to you, choir boy!!!!???" Grizz screamed. "I was speaking to the lady! This is none of your concern."

"Didn't you hear what he said?" Falen added as her and Reck stood up from their chairs.

"You know we're going to die in here, right?" Sonia asked me. "I'm calling Warren! Wait. Where's Lynn?"

I stood up from my chair. Inspired by Brandon, Falen, and Reck, I knew I had to take a beat down with the rest of the crew. After all, despite the fact that we'd just met in person, I felt like I knew them. I read their inner-most thoughts on their blogs and understood what made them tick. Arguments or not, we were a family. No matter how often Falen stole my chicken or Michelle nagged me for shrimp. These were my people. "Unless you want to go back to jail," I said with a lump in my throat, "I suggest you, Darryl, and his other brother, Darryl, walk away."

"Who are you guys anyway?" Grizz inquired with a look of confusion.

Then, from out of nowhere, Lynn crashes down a full bottle of Jack Daniels to the back of Grizz's neck. "Bloggers, mother******!" she screamed as the huge man fell to his knees.

Before he was completely on the ground, we scattered for the door like roaches when the lights are turned on. I grabbed Alexandra off stage and we all rushed to he awaiting limo. As we piled in virtually on top of one another, Warren floored it and got us away from the building. We never looked back to see if Grizz got up.

Sonia started laughing, albeit a nervous laugh. The rest of us eventually joined in with her. "You nuts are going to get me killed," Reck smirked.

"And they act like I'm the crazy one," Falen added. "Lynn, what possessed you to go John Wayne on that fool?"

"I thought it was part of the show. Wasn't he an actor?" she asked.

"Is she serious!!!???" Brandon screamed. "Show? This isn't a Lifetime movie, this is real!"

I just shook my head as I looked out of the tinted limo window at the full moon. Some how, I knew deep down inside that it would not be the last time we would see Grizz. Helena is too small to not encounter someone big enough for his shoulders to cover two zip codes. I just hoped that he would be the type to not hold a grudge. But, some how I doubt that, too.

We arrived back to the mansion. Michelle is visibly upset. The time zone change has thrown off her schedule and she missed saying "good night" to her kids. Sonia, Lynn, and Falen comfort her and take her upstairs. Reck looks at me and Brandon and says, "You guys are halfway fun to hang around."

"Was that a smile?" I asked.

"Nah," Brandon replied, "I think she was snarling."

Reck's boot steps slowly faded upstairs as Brandon and I stood in the living room. "You know we're going to see that dude again, don't you?" I asked.

"Yeah," he started. "With my luck, it's bound to happen before we leave. What will we do if we see him?"

I sighed and took a deep breath before answering, "All we can do is hope there's a boat oar lying around some where."

Michelle continues the story below at Once you get there, click "Follow" so that you will receive future posts via e-mail or Google Reader.
Mommy Confessions: The Real Blogger Shores Amazing Undercover Idol: Part IV

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

"Oh, Here Go Hell Come"

For the people reading me for the first time, I'll tell you what my followers already know: This is a 100% true story.

Anytime you mention the supernatural, people get freaked out and / or choose to not believe.  Well, call this a series of coincidences or something evil, but back during my college days, something strange happened that to this day, my roommate and others do not discuss.  In fact, outside of The Mrs., I'm not sure if I've told anyone else this story...

We're in our dorm neighbors' room playing Super Nintendo. It's a little league baseball game that seems tailor-made for me.  I'm playing my roommate and dropping the usual beat down on him.   There are seven people in the room, not including me, and they're waiting their turn to play... at least so I thought.

All of a sudden, I hear, "Man, stop playing!  Put that thing up!"

My "roomdog," Tim, and I turn around and we both get our first up close look at a Ouija board.  For those who don't know, this board (a game to some, but a communication tool to others) is rumored to be a supernatural gateway.  Stories say that you can use this board to communicate with the dead.  I was always told that Ouija boards were used to worship Satan, so I was ready to bounce at this point.  Tim gets up to leave and one of the board users motions for us to stop.  "We've already activated the board and if you open the door, the spirit will escape," he whispers.

"Man, you all need to stop playing!" yells Robert, a 19-year old from Memphis.

"We're just going to ask a few questions, that's all," resumes one of the board users whose name was Jeff.  "First question: Is this Dwayne?"

Jeff and the other user, whose name escapes me, place their hands over the board and the dice appear to magically move without them touching it.  Dwayne was a guy who stayed on our floor.  He was killed four days prior by a drunk driver.  Dwayne was walking from the store with his girlfriend, Sharon, when a car swerved towards them.  He pushed Sharon out of the way, but was struck instead.  Jeff slept with Sharon two nights after that incident.

After asking the question, the dice rested on "Yes."  Jeff looked visibly more afraid than any of us, but he continued on.  "How old am I?

The dice moved to a "1" and then an "8" which is Jeff's correct age.  Now, Tim and I are standing towards the door not knowing if this is legit or not.  We think that maybe this is a hoax, but neither one of us was willing to be the person to let the spirit out of the open door.  However, Tim gets bold and tells Jeff to ask the board a question.  "Who has a crush on me right now?"

Jeff obliges and the board spells out "Theresa."  Immediately Tim and I turn white as the rest of the room look at him for confirmation.  There was a girl who stayed off campus named Theresa who had just given Tim her number less than a week ago.  No one should have known that outside of me and Tim.  And even if someone did find out, would they have spelled her name "Theresa" instead of the traditional "Teresa?"

Hoax or not, Tim and I are sold that this thing is real at this point.  So, Robert decides he wants to ask a question as the room starts to fill with more uneasiness.  "How many kids will I have before I graduate?"

The board reveals "3."

"Before I graduate?  Man, whatever!" Robert says as he dismisses the board.

"Y'all shut and let me finish before we put the spirit back!" Jeff exclaims.  "Dwayne, are you upset with me over Sharon?"

This is where this story gets the creepiest.  Out of nowhere and I absolutely mean nowhere, a clap of thunder shook the entire campus without a rain cloud in the sky.  Jeff kicks the board as he's startled by the impact.  The next thing I know, Tim and I have five other people crowding the door next to us.  What just happened?

Jeff has had enough.  After 15 more minutes and the temperature in the room increasing (Jeff's A/C wasn't working at the time), Jeff is still trying to coerce the spirit to leave the board.  "If the spirit is from Hell, then it doesn't want to leave the board," he informed us.  "As long as the spirit is on the board, it avoids Hell's flames.  Besides, you can't be sure if the spirit is who they say they are because evil spirits will mimic someone you know just to get out of Hell temporarily."

Now, to a room full of teen agers, this is the absolute most scariest thing we've ever heard.  We were willing to starve to death in that room before opening the door and forever releasing the spirit.  After a couple of more minutes, Jeff said, "he's gone."

We almost took the door off of the hinges.  I was covered in sweat, but I wasn't sure if it was from the heat or the fear I felt that I was in the room with something wicked.  Something beyond explanation that knew more about us than we could have imagined.

That night, Jeff told Sharon that he never wanted to see her again.  Tim never called Theresa for a first date.  The next day, Robert, Tim, and I were standing in line at the cafeteria when we overheard someone ask, "Man, did you see that huge bolt of lighting near the stadium yesterday?"

The guy replied, "Yeah, it was weird because it wasn't raining or anything."

Robert, Tim, and I didn't even look at one another out of fear of acknowledgement.  We didn't want to discuss what happened the day before.  Since we couldn't disprove everything that was revealed, we just chose to ignore it as if it didn't really happen.  Well, we couldn't disprove everything except Robert's question.

And I know you think that I forgot, but I was saving it for last: Robert's girlfriend (and eventual wife) gave birth to twins three months before he graduated in '93.  That was no big deal to me until four years later at Homecoming, I ran into him and he told me that he found out that he had a six year old son (born 1991) that he knew nothing about until after returning to Memphis after school.

It had never even dawned on Robert what that meant until he saw the look on my face.  It was as if I'd seen a ghost...

And for the record, here's where I got the title of this post.  It's a funny video from some reality show:

Monday, May 9, 2011

And It Begins...

A crazy idea that came about during a blog roll has come to fruition...

The Real Blogger Shore's Amazing Undercover Idol Show has aired its first episode!

Here's the setup:

(What follows is a fictional account of a reality show based upon the lives and interactions of a group of bloggers from around the country who are brought together to share a luxury log home in the mountains of Helena, Montana. Each of these very talented writers has agreed to share part of their time and creativity by advancing the story-line of this fictional reality show in turns, following one another’s lead and taking the story wherever their twisted little minds want it to go. Readers who want to follow along are encouraged to visit each of these blogs frequently to keep up with the tale as it progresses, and comments, suggestions, and snarky remarks are welcome! The following “cast” of misfits will share a beautiful mansion, where they will live together, interact, and try to write while putting up with the annoying people who suddenly clutter up their lives:

Sonia from LogAllot, Quincy from Thank, Q for Common Sense, Michelle W. from Mommy Confessions, Michelle R. from Rantings of the Reckmonster, Lynn from Thoughts of A Randomista, Falen from Colorful Rants of A Fed Up Sista, Brandon from My Own Private Idaho, and Alexandra from the Tsaritsa sez. The show’s very reluctant host is Bob from Squatlo Rant.)

Check out the first genius episode on his site. I'll be sure to link you to the others as they add episodes to the show. Enjoy! This is a must-read!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Let Me See You Slutwalk

Let me see you Slutwalk! Do you know how? It's not hard. It helps to have the body and the attitude.

Okay, okay... no, this isn't the newest dance craze. Slutwalking is actually bringing an awareness to something serious, but at what cost?

This all started when a Toronto police officer said that if women stopped dressing like sluts, then they will less likely be the victims of sexual assault and / or rape. That raised the eyebrows of some people who said that the police were placing blame on the victim. So, in order to raise awareness to people "expressing themselves sexually in a healthy way," they broke out the "I Love Sluts" and "Sluts Pay Taxes" t-shirts and danced to hip-hop in the streets. Some even rollerskated around in lingerie.  Now Slutwalk events are being planned all over the world.

Over 2,300 people have already committed to attend a future Slutwalk event in Boston and another 2,000 committed for Seattle as the event has blown up on Twitter and Facebook. Of course you have groups who disagree as well. There was a "Pimp Walk" organized in Boston for the same day. I guess they thought they would hand out applications to new recruits.

 But, my question to you is:

How can you take something seriously if it requires shock value to get your attention?

"Hey, let's bring awareness to animal protection by clubbing this baby seal and eating its raw, lifeless carcass!"


"Let's raise awareness to drug prevention by snorting a wheelbarrow of cocaine!"

Sounds counterproductive to me not to mention that plenty of pervs will certainly attend these Slutwalks just to glance at some butt cheeks.

I understand the movement. No victim of a sex crime should feel they are at fault. That's part of the reason a lot of them won't come forward. But, dressing provocatively is the answer? I don't think so. People who commit sex crimes have a loose screw. So, if you know they're out there in the world, then why tempt them? I wouldn't wear pork chop underwear and stand in front of a bipolar dog expecting him to appreciate "my healthy expression."

Call it what it is. You're not raising awareness, you're looking for acceptance. You're taking a serious issue and turning into a movement that benefits your desire to dress however you like. I think people are too extreme now. There's always a middle ground, but no one wishes to take it. You're either far Left or you're far Right. You're either hot or cold. You either have Beiber Fever or dreams of kidnapping him. What's wrong with balance? Common sense is about balance. Common sense doesn't offend anyone and is fair to everyone. Let's use it now and then!

You can be sexy without being slutty. "Sexy" is an attitude. I explained that to everyone a few weeks ago. Let's avoid these extreme measures to get people's attention. Don't kill someone to raise awareness to murder. Don't punch a woman to raise attention to domestic violence. And please don't consider wearing lingerie in public unless you work at the shake joint in the proper venue.

1. dirty, slovenly woman.
2. an immoral or dissolute woman; prostitute.

And you're proud?

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Royal Pain 2: Let's Get Drunk! (An American Tradition)

Guess what? I ended up watching most of the Royal Wedding after blogging that I would not. I didn't see the actual ceremony, but I did see the grand entrance and I have to say, I was impressed.
It was everything I thought a royal event should be and more. It made me think back on Obama's Inauguration (which is the closest thing I can compare in America to a royal event) and the two are completely polar opposites. Here are the differences I noticed:

Royal Wedding - appeared to have a vast majority of the country showing unity for an event that represents a lot to their culture.

Inauguration - was mainly celebrated by only those in favor of the political party of the President.

Royal Wedding - was attended by dignitaries and royal figures from around the world.

Inauguration - was attended by other politicians and Hollywood types. They had multiple camera shots of celebrities from Jamie Foxx to Puff Daddy (who both were too ignorant cool to even take off their sunglasses). Can I coin the word "ignorantaries?"

It made me think. We don't take anything seriously here. Even a once distinguished event as the Inaugural Ball has turned into a Red Carpet affair. What is a true American tradition? I know we're the "Melting Pot," but can't we all agree on at least one thing to do together?

Wait! I know what our tradition is! It's something we do each and every time we see certain dates pop up on the calendar and we all participate in this American tradition:

We get drunk on American holidays.

Heck, we even get drunk on Irish and Mexican holidays, too! Cinco de Mayo is here. Although the Battle of Puebla isn't considered much of a holiday in Mexico, it is something celebrated by Americans despite the fact that most don't even know its meaning. Who cares? We're getting margaritas, right?

Cinco de Mayo celebrates Mexico's underdog win over the French forces on May 5th, 1862. It wasn't their Independence Day, it was a victory in a battle that many people think that they should have lost. Mexico celebrates their Independence Day on September 16th. That's the day that started the war when Mexican-born Spaniards and Native Americans kicked the heinies of Spain.

But, that doesn't matter to us. We're Americans, right? If Mexicans won't celebrate May 5th, then we will! And we'll say that we're honoring your heritage in the process, so it's win-win, right? As long as we can drink! ¿Dónde está mi cerveza?

New Year's Day, we drink. St. Patrick's Day, we get blitzed. Memorial Day, a holiday dedicated to the memory of U.S. Soldiers, but we barbecue and drink! Independence Day, barbecue and drink. Labor Day, watch college football and drink. Halloween, dress up and drink. Thanksgiving... Wait. That may be the only holiday where we don't get toasted. Christmas Eve, company parties, egg nog, and a whole lot of misteltoe.

I know I'm beating a dead horse at this point. You get where I'm going. I was actually jealous of the Royal Wedding. The only time we, as Americans, tend to come together as a country is when there is tragedy. It took 9/11 to scare us into unity. That fear kept us together for a long time. Osama bin Laden's death brought people back into unity, but I'll be doggone if less than six hours later people were on Facebook and Twitter arguing over who should get credit for it: Bush or Obama? The tragedy of Hurricane Katrina brought us together. Shortly afterwards, we're calling our own U.S. citizens "refugees" and pointing fingers at President Bush and blaming him for not knowing how to handle the nation's biggest natural disaster.

Sad. The concept of the Melting Pot is wonderful, but without long-standing traditions for all of us to embrace, will there ever be unity amongst us? We have recognized holidays from many nationalities and religions, but we need to actually learn what they are about. Let's do that instead of planning who will be the designated driver that weekend or who will bring the hot dogs. Maybe then, we'll have some unity.

Oh, wait! I DID think of a day where a majority of Americans come together for four hours: Super Bowl Sunday! Football and beer commercials! Guys chest-bumping each other and women holding empty mixed drink glasses screaming, "that's my jam!" to every song that comes on during halftime.

I guess I just can't get around the alcohol influence on our holidays. I just need to accept that beer is our tradition. Oh, well. That's better than nothing. I guess we do have unity after all! Suck it, England!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Star Wars, Angry Cops, and Feisty Ladies

Watch this video...

Okay, first of all, what's up with the brothas with accents in Boba Fett gear? LOL! What club did they attend dressed like that?

Second, here's a piece of advice to everyone out there: if a cop asks you to turn around, lie down, and / or shut up, then it's in your best interest to do so. Cops are severely underpaid and under-appreciated. They tend to get agitated with you if you force them to do more than what is necessary. It's easier to comply and sort things later rather than get rowdy and potentially catch a beat down.

Finally, this is the way news is delivered today. No longer do your local news channel have exclusives. Everyone has a cell phone with a camera, so now, everyone is a reporter. But, despite the fact that there are so many video witnesses, cops don't appear to be shy when it comes to bringing the pain.

Now, as far as the video is concerned, I don't think the police had the situation under control and that's why it got out of hand. There was no reason to struggle with the lady like they did. Because he appeared to be upset with her being stubborn, he lost his cool and his aggressiveness provoked the actions of the lady who intervened. In a situation like this, I do feel that the police should be firm, but calm when emotions are this high. I would have cuffed both ladies to each other and told them I'd be outside whenever they wanted someone to unlock them.

Now, here's the same video, but from a different angle. Does your perspective change? Who's at fault?

Are you allowed to defend yourself against a cop if he / she swings on you or do you just lay there and pray for the butt whippin' to stop?

I know this much: I'd much rather deal with Angry Birds than angry cops.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Osama bin Dead?

Osama is dead? Is this just a ploy to sell CD's?

I'm sitting around Sunday night and see a tweet that the President is going to make an announcement. I couldn't possibly figure out what it could be. I knew Momar's youngest son was killed recently, so I thought about that. I got concerned that maybe the President was going to announce he was sick or something and had to temporary step away or step down.

Needless to say, the last thing that crossed my mind was Osama bin Laden. This guy has been a ghost for almost a decade now. He's like a bearded ninja or something. Now, it has been announced that he's dead. Not, Tupac or Elvis type of dead, but "Old Yeller" dead.

Okay, every reader under 35 years old is Googling "Old Yeller" right now. Anyway, Osama bin Laden has "gone on" to meet his 70-something virgins. Something that started a decade ago has now temporarily been brought to a halt. Sure, another leader will surface some where. After all, Osama had more kids than Evander Holyfield.

But, for at least 24 hours, can idiot Republicans and cowardly Democrats get along? There are people flooding the streets across the country waving American flags.  We have unity for the first time since 9/11!  I don't need MSNBC comparing President Obama to Chuck Norris for killing bin Laden any more than I need FOX News running a story of "Barack Kills an Eldery Man."

For 24 hours, just shut up and think of all of the people who died directly or indirectly from what Osama bin Laden did a decade ago.

Search This Blog