Are We Really Going to Pretend Dating Apps Made Dating Better?

Let me ask a simple question: Did dating apps actually make dating better?

Because I'm starting to think we may have confused making dating easier with making people better at dating.

Those are two completely different things.

Dating apps made it easier to find somebody. Social media made it easier to get somebody's attention. DMs made it easier to make the first move without actually having to make the first move.

But somewhere along the way, we forgot to teach people what to do after somebody says yes.

And apparently, a lot of young men never got the memo.

Back When Asking Somebody Out Took Courage

Think back 20+ years ago. Middle school dances.

The gym would be decorated with whatever the school could afford. Some DJ was playing music that sounded much better than it actually was. Somebody's mother was standing along the wall watching everybody like she was running surveillance for the FBI.

And then there were the boys on one side of the gym.

And the girls? On the other side.

A boy could stand there with his friends, pretending he was perfectly comfortable while secretly trying to figure out which girl he was going to ask to dance.

And then came the moment... He had to walk across that entire gym floor.

Not send a text.

Not send a DM.

Not like three of her pictures first.

Not watch her Instagram story for six months hoping she would somehow understand that he was interested.

He had to walk over there and open his mouth.

"Would you like to dance?"

That's it. Five words.

But those five words could feel like you were preparing to address Congress.

And if she said "no"? You had to walk all the way back in front of everyone.

And your boys were waiting. "Man, what happened?"

"She curved you?"

There was no deleting the conversation. No unmatching. No pretending you never asked.

You took the "L" and walked back to your friends.

That was part of growing up. You learned how to approach people. You learned how to handle rejection. You learned that rejection wasn't the end of the world. Most importantly, you learned how to talk to women.

Fast Forward to Today

Now? We've somehow come full circle. Guys still don't necessarily want to approach women. They've just found a way to do it without having to physically approach them.

The DM.

And listen, I'm not going to sit here and pretend DMs are automatically bad. They're not. I asked my wife out through a DM.

I didn't know her personally. We had mutual friends, and we had interacted a little through comments on their posts. So eventually I reached out.

The difference was what happened after she said yes.

When we finally sat across from each other, I knew how to have a conversation. 

• I knew what questions to ask to get to know her.
• I knew how to tell her about myself.
• I knew how to make her comfortable.
• I wasn't sitting there staring at my phone trying to figure out what to say next.

And that's where I think we've got a problem.

The Problem Isn't the Dating App

The dating app isn't necessarily the problem.

The problem is what happens when you remove all of the situations that forced people to develop interpersonal skills. If you grow up communicating primarily through a screen, you can become too comfortable communicating through it. That's not the same thing as communicating with a person.

A dating profile gives you information.

A DM gives you an opening.

A dating app gives you a match.

But eventually, the woman is going to be sitting across the table from you and the algorithm isn't coming with you.

That's when the real interview begins.

And apparently, some guys show up completely unprepared.

"So... What Do You Do?"

I've heard enough stories about modern dating to know that some men have apparently reduced conversation to a series of questions that sound like they're filling out an application.

"What do you do?"

"Where do you live?"

"How many kids do you have?"

"What do you like to do?"

Then silence. 

BRO!

• You matched with her.
• You pursued her.
• You asked her out.
• You got her to agree to meet you.

Now what?

This is where communication matters. Getting the date isn't the accomplishment. Having a good date is!

You can't spend weeks trying to get a woman's attention and then finally get her in front of you and suddenly become a mute.

That's like a dog chasing a car for three miles and then, after finally catching it, standing there wondering what you're supposed to do with it. You wanted the car! Now drive, Fido!

Dating Apps Have Created a Strange New Problem

Here's the irony: Men have more access to women than ever and yet some men seem less prepared to actually connect with them.

"Hey."

She responds.

Then...

Nothing.

Or worse, the conversation becomes an endless exchange of one-word answers.

"What's up?"

"Nothing."

"What you doing?"

"Chilling."

"Where you from?"

"Memphis."

"Oh."

Really, dude? That's the conversation? We went through all of this technological advancement just to arrive at "Oh."

The Old-School Way Had Its Problems Too

Now, before somebody gets mad and thinks I'm saying everything was better back in the day, calm down. It wasn't. Dating 20+ years ago wasn't some magical romantic paradise.

• People got rejected.
• People got embarrassed.
• People got cheated on.
• People got their hearts broken.
• People also stayed in terrible relationships because they didn't have the options people have today.

And let's not pretend every teenage boy in 1985 was Casanova. Lord knows that I was far from it.

Some of those dudes walked across that gym floor, asked a girl to dance and immediately forgot how English worked.

The difference is that they had to practice.

You couldn't outsource the uncomfortable part. You had to walk over there, speak, and read body language.

You had to figure out whether she was interested. You had to deal with rejection. Then you had to try again.

Those experiences taught you things.

Rejection Used to Be Part of the Training

And maybe that's one of the biggest things we've lost. The ability to be rejected without falling apart has really been lost on younger generation of guys and I blame the parents. Especially the fathers.

If a girl turned you down at the school dance, you survived. You went back to your friends. They roasted you. You laughed it off. And eventually, you asked somebody else.

That experience taught young men something important: The word "no" isn't the end of the world.

It's just "no".

Today, somebody can spend months interacting with women without ever having to experience that same level of vulnerability.

A swipe left doesn't feel the same as standing three feet away from somebody and hearing them say, "No, thank you."

One is an algorithm. The other is person. And people are where the learning happens.

You Don't Need Game. You Need Conversation.

I think we've overcomplicated dating. Men don't necessarily need some secret pickup strategy. They don't need 37 lines they memorized from TikTok. They don't need to pretend they're richer, cooler or more mysterious than they really are.

They need to learn how to have a conversation. Ask questions that actually invite a response.

Listen to the answer. Build on what she says.

Tell her something about yourself.

Make her laugh (that's how I got 'em back then). 😉

Talk about something you're passionate about. Let her see your personality.

And for God's sake, stop treating every conversation like you're trying to get to the next checkpoint in a video game. You're not trying to unlock the "girlfriend" level. You're trying to determine whether two people actually enjoy being around each other. That's the whole point.

So, Are Dating Apps Making Dating Better?

Maybe. For some people, absolutely.

They've helped people meet partners they never would have encountered otherwise. They've made dating more accessible to people with limited social circles and busy lifestyles.

But let's stop pretending that a match equals a connection.

It doesn't.

A match means two people swiped in the same direction.

That's it.

The rest still requires two people who know how to communicate.

And that's the part nobody can automate.

You can have the perfect profile. The perfect pictures. The perfect opening line. The perfect algorithm. But eventually, you're going to have to sit across from that woman. 

And she's going to look at you. You're going to look at her. And somebody is going to have to say something.

That's dating.

Maybe the real problem isn't that dating apps ruined dating. Maybe they simply exposed how many people never learned how to do the uncomfortable part in the first place. 

Because getting the woman's attention was never the finish line for me. It was just the beginning.

And if you don't know what to say once you finally get there...

Well, congratulations. Just like the dog, you caught the car. Now what?

Are We Really Going to Pretend College Is Still Worth It for Everyone?

For decades, Americans have been told the same thing:

Go to college. Get a degree. Get a good job. Build a career. Live happily ever after.

It was practically the American version of a fairy tale. Parents told their kids. Teachers told their students. 

Guidance counselors told teenagers who barely knew what they wanted for lunch that they needed to figure out what they wanted to do with the rest of their lives.

But here's the problem: The world has changed.

The cost of college has exploded. The job market has changed. What employers consider valuable has changed. Technology has eliminated or transformed entire categories of work. And plenty of young people are graduating with degrees, student loans and absolutely no idea why an employer wants three years of experience for an entry-level position.

Yet we're still telling everyone that college is the obvious path to success. Is it though?

College Can Be Worth It. That's Not the Question.

Let's get something out of the way first. College isn't useless. A college education can absolutely be worth the money.

If you want to become a doctor, lawyer, engineer, teacher, pharmacist or another professional whose career requires specialized education and credentials, college isn't exactly optional.

Nobody wants their surgeon saying: “I skipped medical school because YouTube had some pretty good tutorials.”

There are also careers where a degree can provide a significant financial advantage.

We've Confused "College" With "Success"

Somewhere along the way, we started treating college as though it were the finish line.

Get accepted. Graduate. Congratulations. You have successfully completed adulthood.

Except that's not how life works.

A degree is a tool. It isn't a guarantee. A person can graduate from college and still struggle to find a job. Someone can have a degree and work in a field completely unrelated to what they studied.

Someone else can graduate with $100,000 or more in student loans and discover that their starting salary isn't exactly screaming, “Financial freedom!”

Meanwhile, somebody who skipped college might be making six figures as a skilled tradesperson, technician, entrepreneur, salesperson or specialized professional.

That doesn't mean everyone should skip college. It means we should stop pretending there is only one legitimate road to success.

Here's the Part Nobody Likes Talking About

College is expensive. And the price isn't just tuition.

There are books, housing, transportation, food, fees, technology, and at least four years.

That last one is important because if you're spending four years in school, you're also spending four years that could have been used working, gaining experience, building a business, learning a trade or developing a specialized skill.

That's not necessarily a bad thing. But it is a cost.

And if we're going to tell young people that college is an investment, then we should be honest enough to ask the most basic investment question: What's the return?

A Degree Doesn't Guarantee a Career

Here's where the conversation gets uncomfortable.

We've created a system where some students are encouraged to choose majors based on passion while simultaneously being told that college is an investment.

Those two ideas don't always get along.

If you spend tens of thousands of dollars earning a degree in a field with limited employment opportunities, you can't simply pretend the debt doesn't exist because you “followed your passion.”

Passion is wonderful.

Bills are less emotionally supportive.

If someone wants to study philosophy, art history, sociology, communications or another field because they genuinely love it, that's their choice.

But they should also understand what they're buying.

College shouldn't be sold like a lottery ticket where every degree supposedly leads to a six-figure career.

It doesn't.

Meanwhile, Skilled Trades Keep Getting Ignored

Here's one of the strangest parts of the conversation. America constantly talks about labor shortages.

We need electricians, plumbers, HVAC technicians, welders, mechanics, and a whole collection of other skilled professionals.

Yet for years, we've treated vocational education as though it were the consolation prize for students who weren't “college material.”

That's backwards.

A teenager who graduates high school and enters an apprenticeship isn't failing at life. They're learning a skill people are willing to pay for.

And in many cases, they're earning money while someone else is borrowing money to sit in a lecture hall.

Think about how bizarre that is.

One person is collecting experience and a paycheck. The other may be collecting student-loan statements.

And we're still calling the first person unsuccessful because they don't have a bachelor's degree.

Make it make sense.

College Isn't the Only Form of Education

This is another mistake we've made. We've somehow allowed the word “education” to become almost synonymous with “college.” Education happens everywhere.

A person can learn through:

• Apprenticeships
• Trade schools
• Certifications
• Community colleges
• Professional training
• Military service
• Internships
• Entrepreneurship
• Online courses
• Mentorship
• On-the-job experience

A bachelor's degree is one form of education. It isn't the definition of education.

And Don't Get Me Started On The Student Loan Problem

The student loan issue has made the old college-for-everybody philosophy even harder to defend.

Borrowing money to invest in your future isn't automatically irresponsible.

The problem comes when young people are encouraged to borrow enormous amounts of money without understanding what they're buying.

A 17-year-old shouldn't have to understand compound interest, labor-market demand, salary projections and return on investment better than the adults advising them. You need a college degree for that (see what I did there?).

But somebody needs to explain it.

Because “You'll figure it out later” is not a financial strategy. It's how people end up discovering that adulthood comes with invoices.

What Should We Be Telling Young People Instead?

Maybe we should stop asking: “Are you going to college?”

And start asking: “What career are you trying to build, and what is the smartest path to get there?”

That's a completely different conversation.

If college is the best route? Go.

If a trade school is the best route? Go.

If an apprenticeship makes more financial sense? Do it.

If community college can accomplish the same thing for a fraction of the cost? Consider it.

Parents Need to Rethink This Too

Most parents aren't pushing college because they're trying to ruin their children's lives. They're trying to protect them. They remember what happened to people who didn't have educational opportunities.

They believe a degree creates options. And sometimes it does.

But parents also need to recognize that the economy their children are entering isn't necessarily the economy they entered.

The advice that worked in 1995 isn't automatically going to work today.

That's one of the hardest things about parenting. You have to prepare your child for a world that may not resemble the one that prepared you.

The Real Question Is ROI

Maybe we need to stop asking whether college is “worth it.”

That's too broad. Instead, ask: Is this particular degree, at this particular price, for this particular career, worth the investment?

That's a much better question.

Because a $20,000 education that leads to a $75,000 career looks very different from a $120,000 education that leads to a $50,000 career.

And that's the part of the conversation that often gets ignored.

College Should Be a Choice, Not a Requirement for Respect

There should be no shame in earning a degree. There should also be no shame in not earning one.

A person's intelligence, work ethic, character, or potential isn't determined by whether they attended college.

There are educated people who make terrible decisions (ex. Congress). There are people without bachelor's degrees who are exceptionally intelligent, successful and financially responsible.

The diploma tells you something about someone's educational path. It doesn't tell you everything about the person.

So, Is College Still Worth It?

Absolutely. For some people. Is college still worth it for everyone? Absolutely not.

And pretending otherwise doesn't help young people. It hurts them.

Maybe the goal shouldn't be creating a society where everybody has a bachelor's degree.

Maybe the goal should be creating a society where people have useful skills, sustainable careers, financial independence and the freedom to choose their path without being judged for it.

Because if the ultimate goal of education is to prepare people for life, then perhaps we should stop measuring success by whether everyone took the same four-year detour to get there. 

I Switched to LED Bulbs, Bought Energy-Efficient Appliances, and My Electric Bill Is STILL Sky-High!

At what point does saving energy starts saving us money?

Can somebody explain something to me?

We replaced every light bulb in the house with LED bulbs. We bought Energy Star appliances. We invested in energy-efficient technology, turned off lights when we left a room, lowered the thermostat, and did everything we were told would help reduce our electric bills.

Meanwhile, we're constantly hearing about massive solar farms, wind farms, and the future of renewable energy. We're told these advancements will make energy cleaner, more efficient, and eventually more affordable.

So, with all these improvements, why does my electric bill still feel like it's climbing?

Seriously, where are my savings?

I'm not against energy efficiency. I'm all for technology that makes our lives easier and reduces waste. If I can use less electricity and pay less money, sign me up.

But somewhere along the way, the promise of saving money seems to have gotten lost in the fine print.

Think about it. We've changed how we light our homes, how we heat and cool them, and even the appliances we use every day. Some people even allow their power companies to control their thermostats (not for me). 

We've embraced the idea that being more energy-conscious is not only good for the environment but also good for our wallets.

Yet, when that monthly bill arrives, it feels like the only thing getting more efficient is how quickly my money disappears. And that's the part that deserves an explanation.

If consumers are doing their part to reduce energy consumption, shouldn't we see some meaningful financial benefit? If technology is improving and energy production is evolving, why does the average household still feel like it's fighting an uphill battle just to keep the lights on?

Now, I understand that electricity prices depend on more than the amount of energy we use. Infrastructure, fuel costs, maintenance, and other factors all play a role. But that doesn't change the frustration of doing everything right and still feeling like you're getting nowhere.

Here's my question: Are these energy-saving advancements actually making life more affordable for everyday people, or are we simply being asked to spend more money to keep up with a system that never seems to get cheaper?

Now the cynical side of me knows that there's no such thing as "saving money" in America. Power companies will save money by you having these energy-efficient items putting less stress on their equipment. But God forbid if the people get relief, right?

This country isn't designed that way. America will put profit over people all day, every day.