There used to be a visible line between parents and children.
Not a cruel line. A line of responsibility. A line of wisdom. A line that said: I’ve already walked through this stage of life, so my job is to prepare you for what’s ahead.
Now?
Parents and kids dress alike, talk alike, dance alike, listen to the same music, shop in the same stores go to the same clubs, use the same slang, and fight for the same attention online.
Half the time you can’t tell who’s raising who. It's time to stop trading wisdom for trends.
Parents used to embarrass kids because they were “old.” Now some parents are terrified of looking old. Terrified of aging. Terrified of being disconnected from youth culture. So instead of guiding the next generation, they chase it.
Everybody wants to be young forever. Nobody wants to be the elder anymore.
And children suffer because of it. A child does not need another friend.
A child needs structure.
A child needs correction.
A child needs protection.
A child needs perspective.
Most importantly, a child needs somebody willing to say:
“No.”
“That’s wrong.”
“You can do better.”
“Here’s who you are.”
“Here’s where you come from.”
But modern parenting increasingly revolves around comfort and image instead of preparation.
Parents are recording dances with children instead of reading with them.
Buying expensive shoes while schools fail them academically.
Keeping up with trends while kids grow up emotionally lost.
This problem becomes even more dangerous in Black communities because identity is already under attack from every direction.
If schools remove Black history or water it down into a few sanitized paragraphs every February, then where are Black children supposed to learn about themselves?
Where do they learn about:
- The kingdoms that existed before slavery?
- Black inventors and scientists?
- Black resistance movements?
- Economic independence?
- Community building?
- Media literacy?
- Why certain systems exist the way they do?
If home doesn’t teach it and school won’t teach it, then social media will. And social media is a terrible teacher. Algorithms raise more children than grandparents now.
That should terrify people.
A generation that does not know its history becomes easy to manipulate. Easy to market to. Easy to distract. Easy to divide. If all a child learns about Blackness comes from entertainment, celebrity culture, trauma, and consumerism, then they begin to confuse visibility with identity.
Representation is not the same thing as education.
Seeing successful Black entertainers matters. But if every conversation begins and ends with athletes, rappers, influencers, and viral moments, children start believing success only exists in narrow forms.
Where are the conversations about:
- Black architects?
- Farmers?
- Educators?
- Engineers?
- Organizers?
- Historians?
- Ownership?
- Discipline?
- Family legacy?
Some parents know every lyric to the newest songs but cannot explain who Marcus Garvey was.
Cannot explain Ida B. Wells.
Cannot explain Carter G. Woodson.
Cannot explain why the Tulsa Race Massacre matters.
That is not just an educational problem. It is a spiritual problem.
Children without historical grounding search for identity in trends. Trends change every six months. Identity should survive generations.
None of this means parents must become robotic authority figures disconnected from culture. Parents can enjoy music. Have style. Be modern. Be relatable.
But parenting requires distance.
Not emotional distance. Not cruelty. Perspective.
The parent should not be racing their child to stay young. They should be preparing their child to grow wisely.
Somewhere, adulthood became unfashionable. Responsibility became “boring.” Wisdom became less valuable than relevance.
And now society has millions of adults desperate to be seen, while millions of children desperately need guidance.
A culture survives when elders teach. Not when elders imitate.
Children do not need parents who can go viral. They need parents who can lead.
Let the church say, "Amen."
