Guys Haven't Changed

From generation to generation, one constant thing in the U.S. is that a lot of guys will want to have sex with as many women as they can.  That has not changed over the decades.  What has changed is that the responsibility to care for any children made with these women has faded.  

We've all heard stories back in the day about "Mr. Earl" having an entire family on the other side of town that "no one knew about".  Mr. Earl would bring his "other kids" to his house and his wife would feed them, no questions asked.  In a lot of cases (not all), he would do what he could to take care of both households.  

Fast-forward to today and "Mr. Devante" does the same thing Mr. Earl did decades ago except he doesn't stop with just one household.  He'll have babies in multiple households.  And in a lot of cases (not all) he will not do much to take care of those kids he's created with others.  

What happened?  Where did the disconnect start?  How did the responsibility fade over the generations?

If you know me, I place a lot of the today's societal woes at the feet of 70's babies (for the record, I was born in 1971).  70s babies spend more time these days trying to defy growing older instead of using that time to train up the young ones.  We want to compete with them.  Not teach them.

But it's not all on us.  So much has contributed to the erosion of responsibility in the U.S.  Especially in the black and brown communities.  We blame women.  We blame men.  We blame the white man.  

Regardless of who gets the blame, nothing seems to ever change for the better, so my only suggestion is simply for people to change themselves.

- If you're a guy who doesn't want a bunch of baby mamas and child support orders then wear a condom or don't have sex at all.

- If you're a woman who doesn't want the responsibility of raising a child on your own then use some form of birth control or don't have sex at all.

Mr. Earl lived during a time when one salary could pay a lot of bills.  Not in Mr. Devante's world though.  One salary can barely even take care of a single-person household.  You'd think that would be more of a deterrent from spreading one's seed, but nope.

The person who doesn't want the responsibility of being a parent should be the one who uses the birth control.  It only takes one person to do it to prevent a baby.

There are too many examples of people in bad situations for us to allow this to continue to happen.  Share this blog post on your timeline and at least change the minds of people you care about.

Breaking the Barrier of Mental Health with @ConsultBrandy

www.BrandyJFlynn.com

Last Saturday, I decided to do something positive with my free time and participate in something very important.  There was a panel discussion on the importance of mental health going on in Memphis, TN and I wanted to be a part of it.  So, I made the 199 mile trip to the National College of Business & Technology venue to see what the Breaking the Barrier of Mental Health seminar was all about.

It was put together by "Mental Health Counselor to the Stars," Brandy J. Flynn.  She specializes in providing services to not just everyday people, but athletes and celebrities as well.  She was joined by Lifestyle Consultant, Jameka Jones, out of Memphis, TN and counselor, Gerald Vernell, also from Memphis, TN.

The event was a great experience! I enjoyed the interaction with the panel of experts and how they articulated their feedback. Although mental health is a serious topic, they kept things lively and engaging for the audience.

Brandy was a wonderful hostess and did a masterful job of providing segues for each of the topics. You could feel the passion for what she does as she spoke. The same can be said for her panel of experts. My only regret is that I missed the first event held back in May.  However, I definitely plan on attending the next one in October and hopefully bringing some people with me.

On one of the topics there was something Jameka mentioned that stuck with me.  It was how people not having dinner together can prevent the opportunities for outward expressions.  Back in the day, people sat at the dinner table and discussed what was going on in their lives.  The kids talked about school.  The parents talked about work and/or community issues.  But, not any more.

Quality time with family is rare these days due to work schedules or just plain disinterest.  A lot of us would rather watch TV as we eat or put in our ear buds.  That causes a lack of communication which could lead to a suppression of feelings.  And without that aforementioned outward expression, where is the outlet to help cope with a potential underlying issue?

That is just one of the many examples given during the 120+ minute seminar that left everyone much more educated on the importance of mental health awareness.  I recommend that all of you click the link under Brandy's photo and follow her blog.  It will change your perspective on life, but only if you're truly paying attention to what you're reading and if you really want a change in your life.

Let's not sweep mental health concerns under the rug.  There are a lot of people out there who need our help and some are family members and friends.  We can no longer ignore people when we suspect that something could be happening to them.  And also keep in mind that counselors like Brandy aren't only for helping you through issues they are also for helping you prevent issues.  You don't have to be in a bad state of mental health before you see someone.

Treat mental health like you do your physical health and get a regular check up.  You'd be crazy not to do so.

It's important that men support it, too...