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Do Pageants Matter Any More?

Local pageants are better. (Jackson Hooters, 2006)

A few weeks ago, I was watching the 2011 Hooters Swimsuit Pageant (for blog research of course) and I just couldn't get with it. Let me explain what I mean and please keep in mind that this is from a "typical man's perspective:"

Seeing a woman in a bikini isn't that big of a deal any more. Especially when all of them look identical. In this day and age, why even waste time airing a show with women walking a runway in bikinis any more?

When I was growing up in the 80's, pageants were kind of cool. Back then, it was impossible to see a woman in a swimsuit unless you lived on the beach. Now, there is (insert bikini website name here).com to see all of the bikinis that you want. In fact, there are e-mail services that offer 'Bikini of the Day' e-mails to provide you with cleavage to start your day. Is there more to pageants than just swimsuits? Well... I guess there is. But, then again, I was watching the Hooters Pageant and I did tell you that this is a "typical man's perspective."

So, is there so much exposure to flesh on the internet that we're numb to it now? After all, the internet has become a personal body viewing device for those who choose that hobby. Or are there so many pageants that they don't mean anything any more? Hooters, Miss America, Mrs. America, Miss Teen Universe, Miss Universe, Miss World, Miss Hawaiian Tropic, etc.

I mean, I'm watching this pageant of women walking down the runway and it's not a big deal. Nothing new or impressive going on at all. Fake boobs, deep tans and hair weaves galore. There's no individuality any more. Each woman wants to be that big-boobed bronze doll with long hair and it's pretty boring. It's like watching the same woman walk down the aisle in a different outfit. The only time I really take notice is when I see a woman who actually didn't pay for her breasts.

Aside from race or hair color, do they really look different?

And for the love of God, please don't let any of them speak! Who's idea was it to ask a question to someone whose bra size is higher than her IQ? Okay, maybe that's hitting a bit below the belt, but let's be honest, not too many nuclear physicists are deep frying themselves in a tanning bed and then hopping out in four inch heels to solve an equation. I'm just saying.

Now, don't get me wrong. No man is going to turn one of these ladies down, but from the perspective of the pageant, it can't be easy to judge a competition where everyone looks the same. Well, everyone except the girl whose breasts are so far apart that you can place a book between them. I hope she kept the receipt for her surgery.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is: for me, it's been there, done that. It doesn't mean much any more to even want to tune in to one of these pageants unless your internet services are down. Here's another option for women watchers: the Lingerie Football League. It's a win-win! No question/answer session and no watching the same ol' ladies walk down a boring runway. It's football and females! 'Nuff said. There's even a new lingerie basketball league that recently started in L.A. if hoops are your thing.

Touchdown!

Hey, it's about time something replaced these boring pageants. Aside from the Miss Fitness USA pageant, that actually offers something different, there's just not a need to watch pageants any more... unless you can personally guarantee that I'll see something like this.

C.R.E.A.M.

For the old school hip-hoppers, I'm sure that you are very familiar with the title of this post.

Cash Rules Everything Around Me was a Wu-Tang chant for the ages. If you're curious or just need a flash back, then click here and you won't be disappointed.

Oh, how I miss real rap.

But, I digress. Let me tell you a story about a lady named Meghan Brown. This bombshell Florida beauty queen had a run-in with an intruder. Let me allow you to read the details from TheClutchMagazine.com:

Dude still has bruises under both eyes

"On March 12th, the former Miss Tierra Verde pumped four bullets into Albert Hill, an intruder who broke into her home.

After Hill, 43, forced himself into the mansion she shares with her fiancé, they began to scuffle. During the robbery, Hill apparently demanded money and punched Brown’s fiancé, Bobby Planthaber, repeatedly in the face. Upon seeing her fiancé struggle with the intruder, Brown grabbed her .38-caliber pink pistol and fired, killing Hill.

Although the "modern day Stacey Dash" and her fiancé insist the robber, Albert Hill, was a stranger, the police aren’t so sure. Even though he’s dead, the investigation is ongoing."

Now, that's not quite the entire story. At least not the part I want to discuss. It seems that Meghan recognizes that her window for 15 minutes of fame has opened from this tragic event. Shortly after her shooting incident, guess who's doing photo shoots with hopes of doing ads for the NRA and / or Smith & Wesson?

How many guys are going out to buy a gun right now based solely on this ad?

I won't lie. I bought six guns myself after seeing this. Anyway, here's Brown's take on things,“I wanted to make some money. I wanted to capitalize on this. I’m the perfect example of why women should have a gun,” Brown told The Daily.

Hey, at least she's honest on both accounts. She admitted to wanting to make a few coins off of the shooting and she was right in saying women should be able to defend themselves. Although Meghan doesn't necessarily need a gun to defend herself. A year ago, she went WWE on her fiancé to the point that he had to call the police for help. She did a Chris Brown (any relation?) on him and attacked him in parked car with blows to the face and chest. She said she only slapped him because he put her dog out of the car in an attempt to get her out since he was breaking up with her.

Side note: how did this 43-year old chinless, Gumby look-a-like pull a nugget like Meghan? Guys, it just goes to show that any man can look like a nickel and find a "dyme" long as he has some game.




Does Meghan deserve her shot at fame? Should the killing of an intruder lead to her being a sexy spokeswoman for a gun company?

What do you think?