Dealing with Death... Again

I know that I've been missing from my blog and social networks for a while. It just wasn't a focus of mine over the past month or so. The love of my life, who I affectionately called "The Mrs.," is no longer with me. Her battle with breast cancer (since '03) finally came to an end at 2 AM on November 5th.

After we returned from her birthday trip to San Diego, The Mrs. checked into the hospital on 10/10 due to shortness of breath. One of the side effects from chemotherapy is the weakening of the immune system. She had complications from pneumonia which caused a fluid build-up on the lungs. Almost a month later, her body was too weak to recover from the surgery that she received to remove the fluid. What we thought would be a 24 hour hospital stay turned into 27 days.  Her mom and I stayed with her at the hospital during the duration of her stay.

The funeral was yesterday and although it was filled with tears and sadness, it was also an opportunity to move on.  I did my best to leave all of my sorrows at the gravesite.  Now, when say "move on," I don't mean forgetting.  I mean moving on with life which stops for no one. I definitely know that to be true because life didn't wait for dirt on my mom's grave to settle before this occurred.  My mom's tombstone for her grave had just arrived last week and I saw it for the first time when picking out a spot for The Mrs.

Last night was the first time I dreamed about The Mrs. since she died. In fact, it was the first time that I recall dreaming at all in quite some time. In the dream, she was her normal, healthy self. Nothing seemed weird about the dream at all and it took some time after waking up to even think about the fact that she wasn't sick. I guess that's just a hint to me that she's no longer suffering.

My Birthday Gift to The Mrs...

Carlsbad, CA

I hope that she likes it! :)

Cats Are The Devil

Maybe I should have named our kitten "Damien" or "Carrie."

When Maira gave me my kitten, I had no idea what I was in for at the time.  I've seen shows on Animal Planet about "cats from hell," but I figured those were special circumstances.  After owning a cat for exactly one month (at the time I started this post), I know for a fact that my kitten is a minion of Satan.  I'm just saying.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I think that Char is one of the most entertaining pets I've ever had.  As someone who only grew up as a dog owner, having a cat for the first time is different.  Especially since this is my first indoor pet as well.  

However, I am confirming some things that I already knew: cats are the devil.  No doubt.  I've never met an animal who gets its way regardless of how you feel.  Regardless of how many times I tell Char "no," she still tries me.  She does respond to my voice pretty well, but The Mrs... well, that's another story.

I got the kitten for The Mrs. and she gets terrorized at times.  Okay, maybe "terrorized" is the wrong word, but Char looks at her fingers as a chew toy.  Whenever The Mrs. does anything within Char's reach, her fingers get attacked.  It was cute during the first week, but now, it's irritating.

I took @MarjorieMcAtee's advice and bought "his and her" water guns for The Mrs. and I.  We run out of water constantly.  The water only serves as a temporary deterrent to Char.  She'll run off only to come back less than a minute later to continue doing whatever it was that got her sprayed.

I'm not sure if cats just have short term memories or just don't care, but she just doesn't learn as quickly as dogs that I've owned.  Still, she's such a cute and funny animal, that I wouldn't think of giving up on her.  I'll cut her some slack since I'm sure that since I'm new to owning a cat and The Mrs. hasn't owned once since childhood, that we may have missed some opportunities to train her.

So, each day, I'll do what I can to train her.  I also have to cat-proof some things.  Last week, she stepped on the "Off" switch on my surge protector and turned my TV and DVR off.  Had that occurred during a football game, then I would have lost it.  And it's only a matter of time before she's able to jump high enough to reach the top of my entertainment center where my plasma is located.  All bets are off at that point!

I have been met with a dilemma though: I was considering having Char de-clawed until someone explained to me how the process worked.  Now, I'm reluctant to do so given the procedure.

Am I overreacting on the de-clawing process or is there a better alternative to it?

OMG. I'm A Cat Owner...

"Meow, man.  Meow."

I'm was on Twitter on Friday morning and I came across a tweet: "HEY everyone!!! I've found 3 sweet kittens that need a good home! DM me if you're interested!!!:) they get along with dogs & other cats!"

Now, let me give you a little background about myself... I've always hated cats. I've hated them with a passion since I was a kid. I got my first dog when I was three and I've hated cats ever since. Dogs are loyal and protective. Cats are manipulative and selfish. At no time did I ever consider owning one, but then I married The Mrs... She wanted a cat. I didn't care. I told her that I'd do anything for her except get her a cat. I don't want one of those things walking around my house in the way. Scratching up furniture. Tipping over fragile things. Being a nuisance.

"HEY everyone!!! I've found 3 sweet kittens that need a good home! DM me if you're interested!!!:) they get along with dogs & other cats!" "

"Why is that tweet jumping out at me?" I think to myself.

The Mrs. hasn't been feeling the best as of late. Back problems. Something like this could brighten up her day. That's when the devil on my shoulder appeared. "Idiot," he started, "you know that you hate cats."

Then the angel appeared on the other shoulder, "Do you know how excited it would make her if you brought home a kitten?"

Devil: "Whatever. She wouldn't like him because she didn't pick him out herself."

Angel: "She'll be happy with whatever you bring home. She'll be stunned that you love her enough to go against your dislike of cats."

(Sigh) I tweeted to the owner, "Do you have photos of them?"

Three photos appeared on my timeline and one of them jumped out at me.

"Ooh! Ooh!  Pick me!  Pick me!"

I contacted the young lady with the cats. She's local. I started following her on Twitter about two or three months ago because she came off as a pleasant and positive person. She agreed to meet me at a restaurant within walking distance on my job. I get out of my car and walk around to hers when I'm met by her dog, Dulce. A cute, little dog (couldn't tell you what kind though) who is running around the parking lot and maximizing the length of his leash.

Out pops the young lady who's giving me my choice of kitten. Her name is Maira.  She looks early 20's, Hispanic, long hair and very attractive. She smiles through her braces and reaches in the backseat for two kittens. Although they all looked similar, I knew that I wanted the one from the photo. There was no need to even look at the third kitten that was still in the car. I thanked Maira and got in the car with the kitten. On my way home, the kitten tried to climb up on my shoulder while I was driving. I immediately started thinking of the recent blog post I did about unrestrained pets in cars.

However, I manage to hold him until I got home. The fact that he seemed so friendly was appealing.  He was growing on me already.  I get inside the house and I'm hiding the kitten behind my laptop bag. The Mrs. looks at me funny as I approach her. I pull out the kitten and she has this look on her face as if Ashton Kutcher is going to pop out and tell her that she's been "Punk'd."

I later texted Maira to tell her how big of a smile the kitten put on The Mrs.' face. I offered her to let me send her something to show my appreciation, but she said, "just knowing y'all will be happy is more than enough."

Such a sweet girl.

So, after the first 100+ hours, a trip to Petco and cat-proofing my electronics, I'll admit that it's not so bad... yet. The Mrs. named him "Char," which is short for "charcoal" and the name of one of our favorite restaurants.

Omg. I'm a cat owner.  What have I done?

X

No, the "X" doesn't represent the letter, a Family Feud strike or anything like that. It's the Roman numeral letter for "10." 10 years ago, I married The Mrs. and I just wanted to take a moment to share with my followers our milestone of double digits!

To celebrate, we decided to roll back down to our honeymoon spot in Panama City Beach, Florida. What was so cool about the 6.5 hour drive was that we did it without even turning on the radio. We still have conversation for one another after all of this time.

It's been a great 10 years and I look forward to 10 more. Thanks for allowing me to be me!

Honeymoon: Panama City Beach, FL - View from our resort room

Anniversary #5: San Antonio, TX - The Alamo

X: Back where it all started in Panama City Beach.  View from the Origin @ Seahaven hotel.

Happy Birthday, Sweetie!

I Think My Wife Is Trying to Kill Me

Ok, not really. But, I did get your attention, huh? My wife watches "ID" or what you may have come to know as the Investigation Discovery channel... constantly. For those who have not had the pleasure of watching this channel, it's basically show-after-show-after-show of people murdering other people. Listen to these show names: "Wicked Attraction," "Who The (Bleep) Did I Marry?," "Nothing Personal," "I (Almost) Got Away With It," and "Deadly Women."

Really, ID? Over the past few months, I've come to notice that every time I go into the bedroom, the TV is on this channel. Most of the time, I'd watch two or three minutes of it and then walk out. After a while, I started paying attention to the nature of these cases: spouses being killed, missing bodies, murder-for-hire, etc. Wait. What?

When I started dating The Mrs., she was really into "Law & Order." In fact, she's the reason I'm all into crime-time TV now with the L&O series and the CSI series (except for CSI: NY which sucks to me). Now it's real-life drama she's watching? Instead of to Maritza Hargitay and Ice-T it's Carla Hughes and Chiman Rai?

These cases are always sad, but also goes to show how unstable people are in the world. It still amazes me, no matter how many news stories I watch, how people are so selfish, insecure or both, that they take a person's life at the drop of a hat. It may be out of jealousy for someone full of rage or just murdering a person because the funeral would be cheaper than the divorce. I watch some of the shows with her and in so many instances the person has a chance to just walk away, but instead, they choose to take a life. "If I can't have you, then no one can."

These shows are twisted, yet interesting. I can see the appeal and how easily someone can get sucked into sitting down a bit to see how a show ends. But, the bedroom TV stays on ID, 24-7.

Memo to The Mrs: I know you're reading this. Don't forget that I've watched 20 years worth of L&O reruns, so don't think that I don't know how to leave behind clues for investigators!

Again, I'm kidding. The Mrs. isn't that type of person to make me wonder "Who The (Bleep) Did I Marry?" But then I thought about it and realized that those victims on the shows probably said the same thing about their spouses. So, I've hired someone to taste my food now. I'm not saying she's plotting against me, but if you go a week and don't notice a blog post from me, then send someone, please?

Thank You, Honey

Today, The Mrs. and I celebrate our 9th wedding anniversary. I want to give props to the woman who has put up with me and my ways for the past nine years (plus the four years we dated).

She has helped me improve upon myself and become a better man. Not by turning me into some sort of science project, but by recognizing the things that I do well and supporting them. She does not try to make me into something that I'm not. She allows me to be me and that's one of the most important things that can be done in a relationship. The moment you try to change someone who doesn't want to be changed, you'll have conflict.

So, I wanted to take the time to take her for being in my corner. Thanks for listening to me bounce blog topics off of you when you would rather be reading. Thanks for providing me with blog topics from time-to-time as well. Thanks for being the most wonderful woman that I guy could ask for in a mate.

The Mrs. eating cake at a friend's wedding. This is probably my favorite photo of her. She will hate me for posting it.

JAN to MCO III (Flatulence and Turbulence)

This isn't my typical rant. Then again, it isn't a rant at all, but I wanted to share more about my recent trip to Orlando. This is part three of three. To see part one, click here.

I thought about using Southwest's Wi-Fi and doing a little blogging from 38,000 feet, but the flight to Jackson is very short. I figured that by the time I connected, we would be descending. So, I decided just to post some tidbits into Microsoft Mobile One Note on my phone until I landed. Here are my notes:



The Mrs. is cracking me up! This is her 4th flight, so it's still new to her. She wanted the window seat (and looked as if she was willing to fight me for it), so I swapped places with her. Unfortunately, for her, she ended up behind a guy who must have eaten a couple of bean burritos before the flight. The Mrs. has the most keen sense of smell of anyone I know. More accurate than a great white smelling a drop of blood. She exclaims, "Oh, my God!"

"What's wrong?"

"Someone farted!"

(LOL!) Now, I know that my immediate action should not have been laughter, but the word "farted" will even make an 80-year old man laugh. That word just cracks men up. I'm actually chuckling as I type now just thinking about her reaction.

So, the smell goes away and a lot quicker than I would have expected for the inside of a plane, but, 10 minutes later, The Mrs. makes the most twisted face I have ever seen. Immediately, I am laughing again because I know why her face is twisted like the love child of the Grinch and Whoopi Goldberg. The dude seated in front of her has passed gas again. Now, he appears to be asleep, so I am not sure if he is aware of his flatulence or not. But, he smelled like he needed an autopsy.



So, just when I thought that things could not be more annoying (for her), the guy behind her starts drumming his fingers on his tray. To top that off, his rhythm sucked. It sounded like a can of biscuits in a dryer.

As The Mrs. does a quarter-turn towards this guy's line of sight, the drumming gets softer and then eventually stops. Hey, there is an advantage, at times, to being stereotyped as "the angry black woman". The Mrs. is completely harmless, but sometimes a stern look gets results.



Now the flight has a little turbulence, but she doesn't appear to be too bothered. She likes flying now. Last year, she took her first flight (at age 35) for her birthday trip in Chicago. I remember the excitement she had and the excitement I felt for her as we took off. For this particular trip, she flew to Orlando on Wednesday by herself, so I guess I can consider her a veteran now. Outside of blogging in my notes, I slept through much of the flight as well as the turbulence. Plane sleep is the best to me. At one time, I couldn't imagine relaxing that much on a plane because I was terrified of flying, but now, I get comfortable and it's lights out until I reach my destination.

Well, the announcement was made for us to turn off our electronic devices. This week has been a pretty good one. I got a lot of work done in preparation for 2011 and The Mrs. and I sneaked in a mini-vacation.

Outside of a little flatulence and turbulence, life is good.