Who All Gonna Be There?

There’s a slang phrase that gets asked almost automatically whenever somebody gets invited somewhere:

“Who all gonna be there?”

Before the date, the time, or even what the event is really about gets a second thought, that question jumps straight to the front of the line.

Now, to be fair, sometimes it’s a legitimate question.

Maybe you’re trying to avoid an ex.
Maybe there’s somebody you truly don’t get along with.
Maybe past experience has taught you that certain combinations of people can turn a peaceful evening into an episode of reality TV nobody asked for.

That part makes sense.

But let’s be honest, most of the time that question isn’t about safety, peace, or avoiding drama.

It’s about measuring the event’s perceived value.

People want to know if the “right” crowd will be there.

Will the popular people show up?
Will there be enough status attached to the room?
Will it be “worth” their time?

In other words, some folks aren’t deciding whether to attend based on the person who invited them.
They’re deciding based on the guest list’s social ranking, like they’re evaluating a nightclub instead of responding to a personal invitation.

And that’s where the common sense part gets lost.

The person inviting you thought enough of you to include you.
Out of everyone they could have called, texted, or told, they thought, I want this person there.

That alone should mean something.

Instead, the first response becomes a quiet judgment: Who else made the cut?

There’s something a little insulting about that.

It subtly tells the host that their invitation alone isn’t enough.
Their presence, their company, and their event only matter if enough “worthy” people are attached to it.

That’s a selfish way to look at relationships.

Sometimes showing up should be about supporting the person who invited you, not auditing the room before you decide if it meets your standards.

Not every gathering needs to pass a popularity test.

Sometimes the real question shouldn’t be “Who all gonna be there?”

It should be: “Do I value the person who invited me enough to show up?”

Stop Making Decisions From Ego

There’s a bill that shows up long after the argument ends. Long after the door slams.

It’s the cost of ego.

Ego is expensive. Not in theory, but in real life. It ruins friendships over pride. It destroys marriages over stubbornness. It ends partnerships over who gets credit (see Jimmy Johnson and Jerry Jones if you're a Dallas Cowboys fan). 

And the wild part? Most of the damage starts over something small—who was right, who said it first, who gets acknowledged.

We tell ourselves it’s about principles. About standards. About respect. But if we’re honest, a lot of the time it’s about winning. And winning is overrated when it costs you what actually matters.

The ability to pause and ask, “What outcome do I actually want here?” Because if your need to be right outweighs your desire to be effective, you’re not winning—you’re posturing. You’re protecting your image instead of protecting the relationship, the mission, or the long-term result.

Ego loves the short-term victory. Humility plays the long game.

Ego says, “Don’t let that slide.”
Humility says, “Is this worth the friction?”

Ego says, “They need to know I was right.”
Humility says, “We need to move forward.”

The strongest leaders I’ve seen aren’t obsessed with credit. They’re obsessed with progress. They care more about solving the problem than being the hero who solved it. That mindset changes rooms. It lowers defenses. It invites collaboration instead of competition.

Sometimes maturity sounds like, “You’re right.” Even when it bruises you. Even when a part of you wants to add a footnote. Even when you could technically argue your side and maybe even win.

Because the goal isn’t to win the moment. It’s to win the outcome.

Ego will convince you that conceding makes you smaller. In reality, it makes you trusted. It makes you safe to work with. It makes you someone people don’t have to brace themselves around.

And that’s invaluable.

The truth is, most of us don’t lose opportunities because we lack intelligence. We lose them because we lack restraint. Because we couldn’t let something go. Because we had to make a point. Because we needed acknowledgment more than we needed alignment.

If you want better decisions, start with a better question: Am I trying to be effective, or am I trying to be right?

Involved Ladies, Let Me Help You Out...

Ladies, most of you truly don't know how easy it is to satisfy a man. Sure, most of you have mothers who may have taught you that "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach", but things are different in today's world.

A lot of you with boyfriends/husbands knew the way at one time, but have either forgotten it or have chosen to ignore it. Involved ladies, let me help you out when it comes to easily keeping your man happy with you.

The way to a man's heart is through his ego. It's just that simple. That three letter word can be the difference between you having a happy man or a man who eventually grows tired of being around you.



If a man can't be uplifted by the woman he was willing to give up his single life for then his ego will be crushed and his happiness will slowly erode.

Let me give you an example of how a man can easily be separated from his woman emotionally:

John works 40+ hours a week as a salesperson. He's worked really hard to do well and sell his company's product. In his office, his co-workers really like and admire the work that he does and compliment him regularly on his performance.

John gets home from a good day at work and tells his wife, Tonya, about his day and how he sold more product than he has ever before. She says "that's great, honey" very dryly and quickly changes the subject to "what's for dinner?"

Now, this doesn't sound like much to most women who probably read that, but to the men who read it, it's something they've probably all experienced before. Even though it wasn't a huge bonus or promotion, John chose to come home and share a good work experience with Tonya and she blew it off as "no big deal".

Men always get stereotyped for not sharing, but sometimes when we share something that is important to us, if it's not important to you, it hurts. If you can't get enthusiastic about something that excites your mate, then why are you with him? If he's happy and it's not a big deal to you, then why would he continue to share anything with you?

Now, I'm going to show you how "bad" can turn to "worse": John gets back to work the next day and in walks Sasha. She's a curvy co-worker who is single and aggressive. "Great job with the extra sales, John", she starts. "I think you do such an excellent job."

Ladies, this is how relationships go wrong. It's not always about a man not getting sex at home like some of you have been trained to think. It's about a man not getting uplifted at home. If he has to leave home to find someone who appreciates his achievements, then that's sad. If his support and compliments come from outside of the place he lays his head at night, then his mind will eventually wander from that place.



Tonya didn't recognize the fact that John was seeking her approval when he mentioned his extra sales. He wanted to show the person he chose to spend his life with that he was excelling. Now that he hasn't received that support from home, do you know how much better Sasha looks at the moment now that she's given him the lift he was craving?

When a man's ego is crushed, he will always think that it is something wrong with him. It will plague him to no end that his girlfriend/wife isn't satisfied with his efforts. He'll feel less of a man.

When another woman comes along and decides to stroke his ego, then he will start to think that there's something wrong with his girlfriend/wife. At that point, he starts to look at her as a negative in his life instead of a positive.

All of this sounds so simple, yet it's very real. Many of you may not know, but you've probably already lost a man or two because of your failure to support his ego. Some of you put down your man without even realizing it.

A man can go out and do something nice for you and still wind up feeling crummy afterwards. He can actually regret doing something nice for the woman he loves.

Let's say Tonya always does the dishes every evening. She washes them and puts them away in the cabinet every single night. One evening, John decides to surprise Tonya and do the dishes so that she can relax. He washes them, but leaves them in the drain instead of drying and putting them in the cabinet.

Instead of Tonya being thankful for what he has done, her response is: "why did you wash the dishes and not put them up?"

I'm sure 99% of the ladies reading this is asking herself the same question: "Yeah, why didn't he?"

It doesn't matter that he didn't. He put forth an effort to make Tonya's evening easier yet she was unappreciative because he didn't make it easy enough for her.

Every man who's reading this now is smiling and thinking "Thank, God someone finally said this."

Let me flip the script for a moment: A woman could go outside, grab the lawn mower and proceed to mow only 25% of the yard. That man will brag about it to his friends that his girlfriend/wife made the effort to help him with yard work. He won't show displeasure for her not finishing it all. That's just not how the average man's mind works.

But, let a man only do 25% of one of his woman's chores and not only will she not appreciate the fact she only has 75% left, she will feel insulted by it.



If you want to run a man off, literally or emotionally, then keep doing this. Because I guarantee you that Sasha will appreciate every single, little thing that he does at the office.

Every sales strategy he provides. Every inside tip he shares. Every good joke he cracks. Everything he does well, she will remind him of how well he does it. She will show him the same admiration that you once showed him at the beginning of your relationship.

What happens after that point strictly depends on his character.


(For a different take on parts of this post from a woman's perspective, check out what was said over at Pish Posh! Involved Men: Women Need Appreciation