When Money Becomes the Matchmaker (or Matchbreaker)

💔 Love doesn’t pay the bills — and sometimes, it doesn’t even survive them.

You know how folks say “love conquers all”? Wait until unpaid bills, bad credit scores, and impulsive shopping sprees show up. So many people have gone on record to say that they have (or would) end a relationship due to financial incompatibility.

Should they be looked down upon because of that?

Why Financial Compatibility Is a Big Deal

Here in the U.S. a lot of people prefer to be financially compatible with their partner, and I'm guessing that a majority of them would say it’s very important. 

Still, it’s no surprise that misaligned values when it comes to finances can derail things. Incompatible partners frequently have issues with their mates:

• Overspending 

• Bad budgeting

• Not saving enough (if at all)

• Not making enough money

A lot of people raise an eyebrow to those who may inquire about finances in the relationship, but at some point, it's something that needs to be discussed. Can you support me? Or will you bring me down? It matters.

Generation Gap + Money Fights = Trouble

Here’s a twist: younger generations seem more likely to battle over money. Millennials and Gen Z report more frequent money fights than older couples from what I've read in a couple of articles. Also, men are more likely than women to claim they fight often about money.

Another surprise: a lot of young couples (and a few older ones) avoid talking about money altogether. And that's because they know that their views don't align with their partners. Rather than get on the same page and handle the household as a unit they choose to withhold information to not be seen as a liability. After all, them doing what they want to do is more important than unity so "quiet is kept".

But guess what — silence is dangerous.

Talking Money Isn’t Optional — It’s Essential

Here’s some “Q wisdom” (I just made that up) to live by if you want your relationship to survive:

1. Don’t ambush your partner.
   Surprise financial interrogations never go well. Let your partner know ahead of time you want to talk money. 

2. Make it a chat, not an audit.
   You don’t have to dump all account statements on the table right away. Start with attitudes, priorities, dreams. (“If you won $1 million, what’s the first thing you’d do?” is a great icebreaker.) 

3. Expect disagreement.
   You will see things differently. That’s okay. What matters is how you negotiate those differences — with patience, respect, and openness.

4. Watch for refusal.
   If your partner shuts down the talk or refuses entirely, that’s a red flag. You can’t build trust or shared goals if one side holds back. You may be on your way to a "money fight".

5. Revisit financial alignment periodically.
   People change. Goals shift. What felt compatible at 30 years old might feel suffocating at 35. Keep the conversation ongoing.

Bottom Line (see what I did there?)

Money is one of those things that touches everything — and in relationships, it can either be a solid foundation or a hidden fault line.

If you want your love to last, talk money early, talk money often, and talk money without judgment. Align enough on values and behaviors so that when storms come (and they will), you’re paddling in the same direction.

And if you’re ever wondering whether your partner is “the one” — see if you can talk openly about finances, without defensiveness, before you get too invested emotionally. That one conversation might save a lot of heartache.