Sunday, July 26, 2015

Being A Good Guy Means Nothing

Hear me out before jumping to conclusions over my eye-catching title.  I'm definitely not saying that fellas out there should resort to dog-like tactics and abandon doing the right thing when it comes to women.  I just wanted to share a perspective that one of my Facebook friends posted.

I have never really considered this particular perspective before, but when I truly considered what was being said, it made a lot of sense to me.

Here's the post:

FYI: Guys please go sit down with that a woman don't want a good man mess/excuse when she's just not interested in you... First of all just because "you" perceive yourself to be a good man doesn't mean that's what I see... Everyone's definition of good is different... Second of all even if you are a good man doesn't mean we would be good together.... Therefore,I would suggest that you take your good arse,on your good way and have a good day!! 👉🏽🚪Everyone feels that they are a good catch in someway! GTFOH!!! Oh yes Happy Sunday!!

Simple and to the point.  Now, I don't know what prompted her post, but it hit home with me after I considered what was being conveyed.  I've always been respectful, giving, honest, etc.  Things that a lot of women say that they want in a man.  But, I lost sight of the fact that it doesn't guarantee me anything.  No one owes me a date or anything simply because of how I evaluate myself.

I see on it TV as well as read tweets and posts of women who say "all I want is a good man."  And I bought into that and took it at face value.  A mistake that I'll not make again.  There's more to the statement that's left unsaid.  "All I want is a good man... who is (insert height here) or (insert size here) or (insert style/swag here) or (insert career here), etc."  To me, that's what is not being said when that statement is being made.

And you know what?  There's absolutely nothing wrong with that!  We all want what we want.  Countless times in my life, I've shied away from certain women because I didn't like how they dressed, I didn't like how they spoke, or maybe they just weren't attractive to me.  There are a number of reasons all of us pass up on someone who may actually be a nice person, but they just don't do it for us for some reason.

As a guy, it's very hard to admit that a lady just may not be into you.  Especially when you feel as if you have the world to offer her.  A lot of us want to justify how we select our mates yet criticize why others don't select us.  That's just simply unfair.

So, I thank Kandi for opening my eyes to something that I've never considered.  You don't blame a person for not seeing you the way that you see yourself.  If it's something about you that she doesn't like that you can change, then fix it.  If it's something about you that you can't change, then just find someone who has more of an appreciation for whatever that is.  Either way, being a good guy means nothing if a woman just isn't into you.

With permission from Kandi


  1. So true. I have to also admit I never considered this perspective. Maybe that's the reason they always say "nice guys finish last". We're too busy sitting around, moping & complaining about how nice we are while the girl is meeting the guy she really wants.

    1. Pretty much sums it in a nutshell, Vinny. No matter how nice you may be or how hard you try, some ladies just aren't into you. I definitely get it now.


Search This Blog