I Do... Until A Hottie Comes Along!

Kobe Bryant joins the list of athletes to recently file for divorce (Tony Hawk, Deion Sanders and Troy Aikman to name a few). And it's for allegedly cheating. Imagine that. Kobe and his soon-to-be ex-wife, Vanessa, met when she was 18 and he was 21 on a music video set.

Back in '03, Kobe got into a scandal that almost landed him in jail as he admitted to having sex with a lady in Colorado who later accused him of rape. Well, that didn't sit well with Vanessa and it took a public apology and a $4 million dollar ring as a gift from Kobe to get back in her good graces. Now, after a 10 year marriage and two daughters, Vanessa says that she's had enough of "The Black Mamba." She seeks spousal support and custody of the two girls and let me also mention that there is no pre-nup. She may receive money that rivals Tiger's ex, Elin Nordegren.

I think this scenario is the perfect lesson for guys out there. Just because you meet someone you really like at a young age doesn't mean you're obligated to marry her. There are steps to a relationship and marriage is the ultimate step. Ultimate means "final." "Final" is a word that should make anyone think when it comes to making a decision. Most of us put more thought into a cell phone commitment of two years than we do a marriage.

I went to school with so many classmates who married their high school sweetheart only to divorce less than 10 years later. Why? Because men are stupid. Sounds harsh? Well, let me explain: a lot of men don't realize at a young age of the opportunities (women) that will come our way once we get older, smarter and established. I was in love for four years when I was 23 years old and was engaged. It would have been the worst decision I could have made in my life had I married her. Not simply because I found out she wasn't the one for me, but because I had no idea how many more women I would meet in my life who would virtually throw themselves at me for whatever reason. Luckily, the engagement dissolved and as a single man at 23 years old, I made the most of my life before my first date with The Mrs. at age 28.

Very few men mature early enough in their 20's to sustain a marriage. Even if we maintain a faithful relationship for the early part of the marriage, at some point, we start to think of what we missed. Kobe probably wanted to be the perfect husband and father when he got married. What he didn't anticipate was women in every city throwing themselves at him. I take that back. He knew that was going to happen, he just didn't know that he was going to eventually give in to it. If he would have not married Vanessa at 21, would she have waited on him? Would she have hung around and allowed him to "sew his royal oats."

Maybe. Maybe not. That's beside the point. If things are meant to be, then they'll happen, right? After all, I took The Mrs. to my high school prom as a one-time thing and a decade later, we started dating. Had we developed a relationship back when I was younger and dumber, she'd probably still hate me to this day because of my immaturity at that age.

The point I want to make to the guys is that there is no rush to get married. Now, I'm not saying date someone for 10 years or anything, but what I'm saying is live your life before you decide to settle down. Enjoy yourself. Travel. Party. Flirt. You'll never get it all out of your system, but you can at least feel as if you've lived your life to the point that you will be able to resist temptation once you're married. Some guys are mature enough to do the young marriage thing, but let's be honest and admit that most of us guys would struggle and/or fail in that situation. It's easy to say "I do..." until a hottie comes along.





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