Sex is Why You're Single

"None of this until you mow the lawn, Mr.!

Sometimes, I understand why some women are single.  They have the complete wrong idea on what it takes to establish and maintain a relationship.  I watched a YouTube video recently of something an associate of mine put together and I shook my head almost during the entire 32 minute video.

Seven women were sitting around acting like they were know it alls when it came to men.  The women appeared to range from ages 25-40 and the amount of ignorance in their speech was staggering!

There was so much bitterness and anger in some of their voices.  They talked about not giving engagement rings back, men and strippers, and other things.

However, it didn't take me long to figure out why there was so much bitterness and anger in them.  In fact, it stood out to me like a "quadricorn."  The one constant that I saw in the video was the reference of sex.  Almost all of the women in the video subconsciously considered sex as a bargaining tool.  I heard so many examples of it:

"He won't take me out to eat, but he thinks he's getting sex?"

"I'm not giving his engagement ring back if I don't marry him.  He can't give my sex back!"

"As long as I'm 'putting it down' in the bedroom, he ain't going nowhere!"

Those are just a few of the things that I heard that opened my eyes to why so many women are single.  Someone once told me that "sex is a weapon that always misfires."  That's a very true statement.  The moment that a woman says or insinuates that she's "giving" a man something, when it comes to intimacy, is the moment she lowers herself in the eyes of the man.  The guy may not even realize it himself, but it happens.

She may think that she's the "best he's ever had," but that doesn't matter.  Keep in mind that men don't cheat for "better," they cheat for "different."  You can have Grade-A stuff and he may still cheat with Grade-C stuff just because her hair color is different or she's six inches taller.

A man can have sex with no emotional attachments.  That's why it's so easy for guys to go from partner-to-partner with no conscious.  If a woman treats sex as a conditional reward, then how is she separating herself from the masses?  I hate to put it this way, but the analogy fits: "A dog only begs when he knows that he's getting a treat."  No treat?  No effort.  That's what's being created in that type of environment.

Sex is an intimacy that should be shared.  If you and your man do not experience sex as one, then you're voluntarily grouping yourself with every other woman out there.  You're reducing yourself to: quid pro quo (this for that).  That isn't healthy in a relationship.  If the two of you aren't getting enjoyment out of sex, then maybe you're not for each other.  However, if it's enjoyable when you do have it, then why hold on to it until the light bulb in the kitchen is changed?  Don't take the mindset of, "if I can't have what I want done then no one is happy."  What are you, 12?

A man should treat his woman like a queen because he feels that she is one.  Not only because he wants sex.  Because once he realizes that she's treating sex as a reward, then he'll start rationing out his good behavior only when he wants intimacy.

Do you think that bargaining with sex can be self-destructive for women?

"I'm not cooking and giving him sex, too. He has to give up at least one."

Speak Now or Forever Shut Up!

We all know that famous line that is given out in most traditional weddings. Yet, very few people take advantage of the opportunity to present an argument to the marriage. Most of us just sit on our hands and allow our friend/loved one to possibly jump into the biggest mistake of their life.

What is the best way to tell someone you care about that they're making a mistake? Most people who are in love see their significant other through rose-colored glass.  So, how do you come between that when you know in your heart that your loved one may get hurt?

We've all seen movies or heard of nightmare scenarios from others about how their sister's husband had his hands all over another woman or their cousin's fiancee was seen head-bobbing in someone else's backseat.  It can leave you in a dilemma on what to do.  You know that if your loved one doesn't believe you that they will probably hate you for life behind your accusations.  Even if you prove that the accusations are true it doesn't guarantee you'll be as close as you once were.

The other side of the coin is doing nothing.  If you sit back and do nothing and it is later revealed that you knew all along, then how will that sit with your loved one?  Seems like a lose-lose situation to me.

How do you approach a loved one to tell them bad news about their s/o?  Or do you not approach at all?

Think Like A Woman

"Think Like A Man, Too" arrives in 2014.

I saw this movie on Blu Ray a few months ago and it was pretty entertaining.  The story wasn't bad and it had a lot of funny parts.  The ton of product placement in the movie got old, but that's just the world we live in these days.

However, what I didn't like about the movie is the message that it sent: the movie, like the book, basically insinuates that if a woman thinks like a man, then she can find a good one.  Well, I think that's the farthest thing from the truth if I ever heard it.

Don't get me wrong.  There is something to be learned from the movie.  Most of it are things that the average adult should know already, however, sometimes we all need to get back to the basics on things.  Dr. Phil wouldn't have a job if it weren't for people needing the basics from time-to-time.  But, when it comes to what a man wants...

A man wants a woman who thinks like a woman.

I mean, surely that makes sense right?  If a man wanted a woman who thought like a man, then he would probably date a man.  A woman who is plotting and scheming her every move based on how I would think probably shouldn't be with me in the first place.  After all, if you have to keep a step ahead of the man you're dating to prevent him from getting over on you, then he's not a good guy in the first place.

Dating can be pretty hard.  Finding two people on the same page isn't easy and I get that.  Men have so much leverage these days because there are plenty of women willing to make things easy for us.  That makes it harder for the respectable women to date and that's a shame.  The respectable woman has to either wait on a man to decide that he's not about the games any more or work twice as hard to get his attention.

I know that it sounds like I'm hating on the movie, but I'm not.  The movie isn't bad.  However, it's just that: a movie.  It's entertainment.  Yet, I've seen so many women, especially on social networks, treat it as if it's a documentary.  All of them are pretty much still single, too.

Do you feel like "thinking like a man" can help you land a good one (or change a bad one)?