Thursday, June 2, 2011

Women Just Can't Win

Women have it bad. They are always held to a higher standard than men. That's not always a bad thing because I do think there are certain things that are acceptable for a man that's not acceptable for a woman:

I definitely think that women should always be more on-point with hygiene and I think they should maintain some mystery about themselves with certain things.

Having said all of that, I think women catch the short end of the stick when it comes to a lot of things, but especially sex. Women are always held to a higher standard and although it is commendable, I do think there are times when a woman expresses herself sexually that men (and some other women) criticize unnecessarily.

Here is an example:

A man should be happy to see a woman with a top drawer of condoms next to her bed.

A guy goes out with a lady and they have a vibe going. It's a first date, but the tension is high and he can tell that it could lead to something later. He arrives at her house and before you know it, the clothes hit the floor and she's ready to do the horizontal mambo. He then pause and informs her that he doesn't have a condom. She tells him not to worry and goes into her top drawer to pull out one.

(record scratches)

To a lot of guys, this is what comes to mind: "Uh, oh. If she has condoms readily available in her top drawer, then she must be a ho."


Wrong answer. A woman who would let you "smang it" without a condom is more likely a ho than one who has one. Maybe this lady is just prepared. Guys need to get the image out of their head that a woman with condoms is a ho. I mean, it's a possibility, but it could also mean that she's just responsible.

Most babies are conceived and most diseases are transmitted from people who are not prepared. Maybe this lady should be applauded rather than criticized. Fellas, don't assume that a woman with a condom in her purse has a longer line than In-N-Out. Okay, maybe I should have used another restaurant name, but you get my point.

Ladies have it rough because in a country where men made the rules during the days that women were not even allowed to vote, there are still a lot of things that men think are unacceptable for women, but are acceptable for men. Let's do away with the prehistoric thinking and recognize that rules that were created 200 years ago on what a woman should be do not apply to today's female.

While women should act like queens in order to be treated as such, we men have to do away with some of the double standards.

And to the ladies, stop letting society dictate the things you do. You can be you without worrying about what some shallow-minded person thinks.

Stop letting people guilt you into thinking you're a bad person when you're not.

My friend, Chaplain Donna, posted an absolutely brilliant piece on "being the good girl" that will release you from the mental chains that society has placed on you. Click the link, open the new window, and be free. :)



  1. I don't think things are equal quite yet, but I think we are closer than we were 20/50/100 years ago.

    I, as a guy, have some hangups about my girl. For example, she's been with twice as many partners as I have. She tells me I'm the best, but I still wonder sometimes.

    It's not that we see women as inequal. Sometimes it's just because of our own insecurities.

    Great post.

  2. The double standards in this country are ridiculous, but I guess we're a little better than other countries. We still have a lot of work to do.

  3. Thanks, LiI. I don't want to know anything about The Mrs.' previous men. There are some things I know I'm incapable of handling and that's one of them. I do think things are better and I do think that a man should be a woman's hero. But, when it comes to how we view them, we should judge them with the standards as men (for the most part).

    @ Tsaritsa - We are better than a lot of countries in a lot of ways, but the difference here is that they know their roles over there. We pick and choose when we want to be a good father or a good husband, etc. over here.

  4. You raised a lot of good points, Q. But, you forgot the #1 reason women have it worse than men: the DREADED "monthly." And a close 2nd...pregnancy and childbirth (this is 2nd only because it lasts 9 months...not 40+ years! lol).

    As for the double standards - they suck. In the work-world - a man who is "aggressive" is a "go-getter" - but a woman who is aggressive is labeled a bitch. I say this because I get called a bitch a lot at work, hahaha! The glass ceiling still exists as well as "the good ole boys club."

    There are some gender "roles" that I don't necessarily mind - men showing some chivalry (opening doors for ladies, offering their seat to a lady, etc.) - that's one of the things I appreciate about the south - y'all have much better manners! I'm also wayyyyy down with the man checking out the "weird noise" outside, while I wait INSIDE. And vermin - men are definitely in charge of squashing, catching, swatting, and eliminating all vermin, PERIOD.

  5. Reck, you hit the nail on the head on your list. Men in the workplace are "leaders" when they take command while women are labelled negatively. Funny how things are viewed when looking at a different gender or race, huh?

  6. A-effing-men!! OMG, what about age? It's okay for a guy to be older & can be sexy, but women are BATTERED down by society's standards on this. It actually kind of sux being a woman all around.

  7. Damn skippy!
    I hate the whole double standard. Men can sleep around and he's applauded, women sleep around and they're shunned. I'm not saying everybody should sleep around but I mean JEEZ can we can some equality here. If a dude sleeps around he's still a heaux!!!

    Well done Q. I'm checking out that post too.

  8. @ Pixi, I forgot about that! Hugh Hefner is labelled a "playa," but Demi Moore is a "cougar." There is a double standard in that. It's as if men are expected to dump their wives for younger women.

    EmDottie's in the house! Sorry, I just felt the need to say that. Creative way of spelling "heaux," too. LOL! You're right. We men are applauded for getting it while women are shamed. I won't lie, I feel sorry for women, but I love being a man! :)

  9. I concur that some women get treated this way. It's all how you carry yourself, how you conduct yourself and the respect you have for yourself. In this day, we have to fight harder, work smarter and be more independent.

    I was raised to always be take care of myself and not depend on someone else. I never want to be that person who's hubby leaves her and then I have to start all over again because I haven't worked in 10 yrs after raising my kids.

    Some women get so hung up in behind their marriage and never have stuff put away just in case. Like being married to a man with millions and then end up without a dime. You mean you didn't have the smarts to stash some money away before hand? Always play stupid, but don't be stupid.

  10. Sonia, do you have your stash put away for a rainy day? LOL! Just kidding. You're right. Women have it bad and shouldn't strictly rely on a man to care for them.

  11. All women SHOULD have a stash ... why is it a problem for men? I agree with you, men should be happy that she's safe ... but ... men want to not think of her sleeping with someone else and want to see her in an angelic light. You make some good points!

    1. Gracias. Although I don't want to know how many she may have slept with in her life, I do know that I'm not the first. So, I would be okay with her being safe. I'd probably feel better about seeing a drawer full of them instead of a box of 12 with only two left. LOL!


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