Teach Your Sons How To Be Men

If parents would teach their sons how to handle their responsibilities when they are young, then someone else's daughter won't have to do so when they are grown. 

Boys who are not challenged and have not accomplished anything turn into immature and irresponsible adults. They will usually shy away from anything they deem difficult from a good job to a good woman.

Ladies, you don't have to date a man like that. And you definitely don't have to have a baby by one. 

Ladies, if you are in a relationship and find yourself being a mom more than you are being his woman then something is wrong. If the same Christmas gifts you bought your dude could also make your 12-year old son happy, then doesn't that tell you something? It doesn't mean that guys can't enjoy gaming consoles and sneakers, but if that's what he's all about then ma'am, you have a son! In just a couple of generations, we've gone from dads getting a tie, some socks, or tools for Christmas to shopping for your dude in the same stores that you shop for your son. 

Do you know why some guys are bad boyfriends, husbands, and dads? Because no one told them that they sucked as a person before they became a boyfriend, husband, or dad. They kept getting their way and having things done for them until they grew into overgrown children. It's hard to reprogram someone who has never had to be held accountable for his actions.  Parents are supposed to teach and guide along with providing shelter and entertainment.

Blame the moms and dads who didn't teach their sons how to be a caring and responsible person. Don't get me wrong.  You can't make a guy be responsible. He has to want to do that. However, you can instill some values in him when he's young that may he may adopt into his lifestyle as he grows older.  

How many of you parents out there, man or woman, have had conversations with your sons about the importance of doing well on the job? Regardless of the type of job. How many of you have taught your sons not to leech off of women? How many of you have taught your sons that their responsibilities come before their hobbies? 

Only you know the truth to those questions. And some of you are not hitting the Like button because you know that I'm talking about you. That's okay. You don't have to like what I say as long as you consider what I'm saying. 

Some of you ladies are raising the same men that you despise.  Running around talking about, "this is my king".  Buying him $200 sneakers and the boy is 14 years old and reading on a 4th grade level.  He knows the lyrics to every song by Lil Uzi, Lil Shotgun, Lil Glock or whatever "Lil" is rapping these days, but has to move his lips when reading a Dr. Seuss book.  Talking about your son is going to be a "heartbreaker" with the women and then you wind up a 32-year old grandmother because you never taught him how to respect relationships.  

And some of you dudes are not raising your sons at all. You're not present. And when you are present, you aren't teaching him anything that can help him develop into a man. You think that playing him in Madden fulfils your duties as a dad.  No, it doesn't.  

Why are you setting your sons up for failure? Why are you not teaching him to not just to seek book knowledge, but also knowledge of self?  Why are you not teaching him how to get and keep a good job?  Why are you not instilling the importance of ownership and an excellent credit score?  

Why are you not teaching him to establish himself as a man first and then find a woman. And make sure that he is capable of handling that woman. 

Guys, your son is a reflection of you. I don't care if he lives with his mom, a son is a reflection of his dad's teachings. If you don't make the effort to have those conversations with your son then who do you think will get the blame if he grows up to be a sorry dude?

John Lennon Shot: 40 Years Later

Most of the things that I ultimately learned about John Lennon came later in life.  I was too young to remember the Beatles.  But I've heard tons of stories about how talented of a musician he was and it is sad that the world lost a musical genius on this particular day 40 years ago.

I remember watching a Monday Night Football game between the Dolphins and Patriots when Howard Cosell announced during the game that Beatles singer, John Lennon, had been shot and killed.  There was no internet back then, so radio and TV were your only sources for breaking news.    

I remember asking my dad why someone would kill somebody who was famous.  I was about 9 years old at the time and I thought that everyone loved celebrities and would never harm one.  I don't recall what his answer was to me, but I just remember going to bed that night wondering what in the world caused someone to shoot John Lennon.  

As I got older, I've learned that celebrity shootings weren't so rare after all and that the reasons for them weren't always good either.  My favorite singer, Sam Cooke, was shot in 1964 in what was called a "justifiable homicide" although most think that he was murdered for being a black man with a white woman.  Marvin Gaye was shot in 1984 during a family dispute.  Selena in 1995 by a crazed fan.  Tupac, Biggie, Roger Troutman, Jam Master Jay.  The list goes on and on.  

Lennon's murder was probably my first introduction to the underbelly of the real world.  There isn't a person on this planet that is loved by everyone.  Someone will always have a problem with you or seek something to gain by harming you (physically or emotionally).  

I'm not a Beatles fan or anything.  I own none of their albums.  But I understand what they brought to society by way of their music and I respect their craft.  It's a shame that folks have prematurely taken from us some of the most gifted people in our society.  

There Are Still Good People Out There

So, back in the summer, some time in August, I ran an errand to pick up some Talk 2 Q face masks from a friend of mine.  I was about five minutes from my destination when I hit a pothole and blew out my passenger side front tire.  I pulled over near a church parking lot and surveyed the damage.  The temperature was in the 90's on this particular day and I'm sure that the heat index was well over 100.  

Anyway, I open my trunk and start to unload my spare tire and equipment that I need to change the flat tire.   As I'm pulling things out of the trunk, a minivan pulls up beside me.  It's a white lady, maybe in her mid-to-late 50's, kind of heavyset.  You know, the type of person you would envision if someone asked you to think of what a grandmother looks like.  She asked me what was wrong and I told her that I had a blowout.  She asked me if I had any water.  I told her that I did have a bottle of water in my car.  She said that it was too hot and I needed more.   

She then proceed to get out of her van and go into her backseat.  She emerged from the other side of the van with six bottles of water in her arms.  She said that if she knew how to change a tire that she would help me, but she wanted me to at least stay hydrated in the process. I thanked her profusely as I accepted the bottles.  She got back in her van, wished me a nice day, and drove off. 

I resumed working on my tire and I realized that my tire iron wouldn't fit the lug nuts on the flat.  So, I'm unable to remove the flat tire and put on the spare.  I'm racking my brain trying to figure out why the tire iron will not fit.  I then realize that without that, I'm stuck.  So, I grab my cell to call my dad to get him to bring his.  It will take him about 30 minutes to arrive, so I sit inside my car to turn on the A/C. 

A mid-sized sedan then pulls up in front of me.  A black man gets out.  He's probably early 30's, wearing an undershirt or what some people refer to as a "wife beater shirt".  Sounds terrible to say that out loud on the air, but you know the shirt.  He has a few tattoos and has the look of a construction worker, so to speak.  He asked me what was wrong and I recited my story.  He told me that he had a lug wrench in my car that would fit my tire.  He retrieved it from his trunk as I slowly got out of the car.   

I called my dad to tell him that I didn't need him to drive all the way across town and while I was doing that, dude started changing my tire.  After I got off of the phone with my dad, I tried to stop him and let him know that I could take it from here.  He simply replied, "It's all good, man.  I used to work at Goodyear.  I can change a tire in my sleep". 

Dude had the tire changed in a matter of minutes.  I offered to Cashapp him some money for his troubles, but he refused.  He said that he saw an opportunity to help and did so.  I thanked him and he drove on. 

I guess I shared all of this just to say that there are still some good people out here.  Social media will make you lose faith in all of humanity because of the level of selfishness and ignorance that we see on there every day.  But, I had two people, each who appeared to be from different walks of life, stop to assist me.  An older white woman and a younger black man.  A conservative-looking lady and an urban-looking, for lack of a better phrase, dude.  

Good people come in all shape, sizes, ages, and colors.  Stop letting social media and the talking heads on the news continue to divide us.  There are no secrets in getting along with people.  Just be decent and the rest will work itself out.