Saturday, October 9, 2010

"The Friend Zone"


I don't get it. I had a conversation with a woman who said about a guy she knows that "I wish I could find someone like him".

In the southern accented words of my friend, Allyson, "Excuuusssse me?"

As someone who heard that phrase multiple times in his life, I immediately had to figure out why she wanted someone "like him", but "not him"?

So, I asked, "Find someone like him? What's wrong with him? He doesn't like women?"

"No, he likes women."

"Is he married or something?"

"No, I think he's going out with someone, but it's not serious."

Now I'm even more confused. "Uh... Okay, is he ugly?"

(LOL!) "No, he's not ugly or anything. He's just a little nerdy, that's all. He lacks style."

Ladies, let me see if I have this straight: there are roughly six or seven good men left in the U.S. and you want to "weed" out the nerds? I understand women in their early 20's may do that out of immaturity, but this lady was early 30's.


You can help a man work on his style a lot easier than you can help him work on commitment.

Memo to all good guys out there (and I was joking when I said six or seven):

It's time to stop thinking that if you are nice to her that she will some day wake up, see how wonderful you are and make you her boyfriend. When her biker boyfriend, Thrasher, pours beer over her head and tells her to "beat it", don't be the fool she runs to unless you truly just want to be her friend. I know it sounds mean to say this, but you're only torturing yourself while she ignores you.

She will use you until one of the two things happen:

A) she finds a guy like Thrasher who happens to know how to treat a woman
B) she reaches the age where she thinks time is running out and she settles for a Thrasher wanna be.


So, good guys, don't do it! Before I got married, I had more good-looking female friends than a Maxim magazine photo shoot. They all discussed their problems with me ad nauseum. Yet, I remained single like a slice of Velveeta cheese. So, take it from someone who knows the deal.

But, back to the ladies. Let me ask you this:

Why is it that when some guys (even one you may find attractive) crosses that imaginary line to "The Friend Zone", he becomes forever untouchable?

Can one of you women explain that to me? Join the discussion.

6 comments:

  1. *lmfao trippin over mario pic...genius!*

    As for me: I stopped bullshitting around when it came to men and I got myself a nerd! He always claims he's "gangsta" but what gangsta wears glasses and reads a shit load of book and plays video games like a child lol DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE STAR WARS SHIT! But I love him!

    I put all the retarded shit asside like, wanting a guy that MY FRIENDS would want, or go after men that are wrong for ME but I would get some sort of society brownie points for taiming!

    I'm done with that garbage and gotz me a real man! lol

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  2. It's true. I'm sort of a nerd but can be an a-hole and difficult and guess what? I don't have problems getting women. Now I'm settled down but if I were ever single again do you think I would be that "nice" guy that hears them talk about Bruiser. Hell na!. I'd be non- commital and detached ALA James Bond and some girl would be strung as sh--.

    ReplyDelete
  3. @ Falen, good for you finding a nerd! The Mrs. thinks I could be a member of the Geek Squad since I love high tech toys and do things that make me smarter. So boring, right? I think some women have a misconception on what a "thug", "gangsta" or "bad boy" is. It doesn't mean a guy can't be well-dressed, educated and respectful. I'm the nicest guy there is, but if someone messed with The Mrs., I'd go Tony Montana on them in a heartbeat. So, even nerds know how to protect their own, but I don't think some women know that.

    But, that's a blog for another day.

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  4. @ Israel - you must be my brother from another mother. I feel the same. Now, I'm no Denzel Washington or Brad Pitt, but when I was single, I knew how to get a woman's attention. I was 24, had my own house and my car was paid. I enticed women with the sense of "security". So, even as an overweight nerd, I still wow'ed my friends with some of the hottest women in Jackson.

    A thug living in an apartment with his mom can't compete with an outgoing nerd living on three acres in the suburbs. Just like women, guys can "use what they got to get what they want" (to quote Lyn Collins).

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  5. Usually men get into the friend zone if they don't have enough in common with me to date, I'm not attracted to them, or they've already screwed up a romantic opportunity with me.

    ReplyDelete
  6. @ HK - Interesting point. So, you're saying that the person isn't necessarily dating material, but does possess certain likable qualities that make them friend-worthy. Thanks for the comment!

    ReplyDelete

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