Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Do White Women Care?

My high school was 75% white and throughout my four years of high school, I'm only aware of one interracial couple. And now that I think about it, no one knew about them for two years until the girl's friend leaked the news on accident. I'm sure there were more couples, but it was hush-hush.

Interracial dating is no longer the issue that it once was when I was a Mississippi teen in the late 80's. I see interracial couples all of the time while I'm out and about and think nothing of it.



But for some reason, black women just can't seem to let it go when they see a black man with a woman of another ethnicity. Especially white women.

My best friend, who now lives in Florida, was always into white women when we were in high school. Black guys rarely said anything to him about his preference, but the black women at our school would go off on him every time they saw him.

They were furious. Despite the fact that he'd actually tried to date a few of them and got rejected, they still came down on him for "crossing over".

So, a lot of black women tend to get furious when it happens, but do white women care about interracial relationships involving white men?



Does a white woman see a white man with a non-white woman and get enraged or feel betrayed?

Please comment below and give me your take on it regardless of your ethnicity or join our discussion here.

26 comments:

  1. i've never caught any flack from a white woman about that, but definitely from black men i have (and still do, but i don't care, obviously!! lol)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah I hear shit ONLY from the brothas and sistas about my dating outside of my race! The brothas piss me off because they are not worth a food stamp on ebay and they wanna claim they can treat me better then my man can...OH HELL NAW LOL

    ReplyDelete
  3. I don't have a problem with interracial dating/marriage at all! I dated an "ambiguous" guy right after college (his family was originally from Algeria) and it was awesome - everyone loved him and I think his fam loved me too. I think a lot of the problems stem from different cultures, but as long as you're open to embracing the other person for who he/she is and not trying to change them into someone they're not, it's all gravy.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh and a black girl with a white guy doesn't bother me at all... to answer the original question. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Doesn't bother me- I wish people could look past skin color-we're all people. We all have the same basic needs and wants.

    ReplyDelete
  6. As long as we are talking about two consenting adult people, I really don't care. I barely notice it any more. I have to admit that I was raised in the "deep South" and my family way back then cared. I was taught to care about race. But now I am a grow woman and make my own decisions, and I'm trying to get past all that. My husband and I are raising three little girls (after raising three kids to adulthood). We are trying to teach them that we don't judge people. We can judge what people do, but not the color of their eyes, their hair, their skin, or how much they weigh.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ok, people that care about this need to be punched in the face. Why does it even matter anymore? I know I know Q, it matters to some but hey ladies and gents, if there is someone out there you like, step up your game and get them before someone else does

    ReplyDelete
  8. @ sssdawna and Falen - I realize how difficult it can be at times because people feel betrayed, but at some point, I hope we'll all get past it. Keep loving for the sake of love no matter the color. If you all can relate and care for one another, then let the haters hate.

    ReplyDelete
  9. @ Erin - "ambiguous" races are becoming more common these days. A lot of time, I can't tell a person's origin just from glancing at them. That just goes to show at some point that our vision should blur on relationships as well for all of us.

    ReplyDelete
  10. If you look at this from a "spectrum of privilege," why would white women care? Some will care because they think "races shouldn't mix," and some will care out of outright jealousy. But interracial coupleship is not a topic of discussion in the white women's community (if one could ever be so monolithic) because they get more dating options in interracial dating. There has been a lot of literature (of the academic variety) on why it is that african american women are so angry about this and it seems to come down to a limitation of choices. More african american men are willing to cross racial lines in dating than are white men. And therefore that limits the available african american men for african american women. And lets not get into the politics of quality, datable men (and the numbers of convicted african american men disproportionate to white men)!
    Think about all the african american women who are heads of households and cannot find men they feel compatible with. Just as recent as a few months ago Steve Harvey had a bestseller book and tv appearances encouraging african american women to lower their standards! No one is asking a white women to do that in a book or otherwise.

    ReplyDelete
  11. @ The Mrs. - Exactly. The only true race is the human race and people forget that.

    ReplyDelete
  12. @ Dianne - being raised from the south, I was taught the difference, too. I think the differences in the cultures can be appreciated and treasured, but it shouldn't limit our scope of things. Like you said, we're grown, so we should be past that.
    @ This Daddy - Amen, brother. If you see something you like, better snatch it up before someone else does.

    ReplyDelete
  13. @ SABM - (alarm sounds) We have a winner! You hit the nail on the head with every point that you made. So many things factor into this, but ultimately: white women don't HAVE to care. They have more options than black women by having a traditional pathway to white men or an alternate path to the black men who are more likely to cross color barriers. Excellent!

    ReplyDelete
  14. When I dated a black man I used to get suck dirty looks from black women when we would go out together. That being said, I honestly don't care who white guys date. Why should I? In the Bay area it's a running joke that white guys here only date Asian chicks, and when you're out you can see that the stereotype is kinda true. But I have my man and as long as he's only sleeping with me, why should I care who other people are sleeping with?

    ReplyDelete
  15. @ Tsaritsa - In the South, a lot of black guys expect harsh treatment from black women if they show up in public with a white woman. What's so crazy about it is that the woman may not even like or be attracted to him. That's what so nuts about the entire thing! You don't want him, but he can't go elsewhere to find love? Craziness. They just don't want to see him on "the other side."

    As for SF, as high as the Asian population is out there, I'm not surprised. Men of all races tend to be fascinated by Asian women.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I don't know how I am just seeing this. I have dated black men and never noticed us getting any looks nor did he comment that we was catching hell for it. This was in college and after and never was it an issue with anyone. My family wasn't thrilled about it at first (well my straight laced Greek side...my mom's side didn't bat an eye).

    Anyway...as for the original question how could I care about that if I, as a white woman, have dated black men? If you are happy be happy, if you love then love, it isn't for me to care or say who you can and can't love. Color of skin has nothing to do with love and shouldn't factor anymore. I know it does sometimes (I'm not that naive) but in my opinion it's a non-issue in relation to a person's character.

    Sorry again...know this is late but wanted to give my two cents.

    ReplyDelete
  17. @ Jewels - I love comments no matter when they occur. I think the funny looks that interracial couples receive are more of a southern thing. It doesn't happen as much as it used to back in the day, but people would get stares. I don't have a problem with any relationship as long as it's rooted in love.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Consenting adults regardless of skin hue are required to pursue what makes them happy. Any detractors from either of the prominent races mentioned in this arena, are submerged in racist ideologies that are archaic. If you love a woman from head to toe, her skin color is not relevant. Her emotional state is, and your personal happiness is paramount to snide remarks.

    ReplyDelete
  19. @ Anonymous - Very well said! Great points! You should have put a name on this comment! :)

    ReplyDelete
  20. You're perpetuating the stereotype, Q!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, I know. Guilty as charged. :)

      Delete
  21. Well I have to say as a white woman I have never met a black man that even struck my fancy. I was a child of the late 80's in the south as well, and I try very hard not to have those thoughts pop into my head only because they were so engrained into my thinking as a child.

    I can remember having a black guy call my house to ask for homework and you would have thought he was Charles Manson the way my parents reacted. If it works for you ok, and I know a lot of people that have successful relationships. Just not for me, and if I see a white man with a black woman ok what ever blows his skirt up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I never dated white and I'm sure that my father would have had the same reaction if I brought home a white girl. I had nothing against them whatsoever. I just always had a preference for black and Latina. Some people thinks someone having a preference is a racist act, but it's simply that: a preference. No one should apologize for it.

      Delete

Search This Blog

Share Me!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Pin It button on image hover