"Nope! No racism here!"

A picture says a thousand words.  

The first step to fixing a problem is to first admit that there is one.  A lot of the police departments in this country seem to not want to do that.  So many of the politicians in this country seem to not want to do that.  Many citizens in this country seem to not want to do that.  We're just walking around with blinders on like the Netflix movie, "Bird Box".

We just keep walking around aimlessly as if nothing is going on.  "Nope.  No racism here!" 

Now the NBA players are boycotting.  I'm not sure what their endgame is, but I stand behind them exercising their right to peacefully protest.  Anything that raises awareness to people of color being fed up with status quo is just fine with me.

What was the final straw that prompted this boycott?  A knuckle-headed teen shot and killed two people last night because he wanted to be a cop.  How telling is that?  And when the cops were responding to the scene, they drove right past the 17-year old, rifle-toting white kid with his hands held up in the air.  Drove right past him!  Why?  Because evidently he didn't appear to be a threat to them.  But a 12 year old black kid named Tamir Rice was shot and killed seconds after police arrived on the scene of a playground where he was playing with a toy gun.  And Tamir, unfortunately, is just one of many examples.

Racism is real.  White Privilege is real.  Racial biases are real.

What will it take for us to make you see that?

Spouses Have To Evolve

I just had an interesting conversation with a friend about how some long-term marriages can sometimes fall apart.  So many of us have the misconception that once you're married, you're safe.  After "I do", then you think that you can just sit back and relax forever.

Well, that's not the case at all.  It's safe to say that if your marriage makes it long-term (10 years or more), that you're well beyond most incompatibility issues.  However, there are long-term concerns.  Most of them center around evolution or the lack thereof.

Although "love is blind", we shouldn't be.  Some of us don't change, yet we fail to pay attention to our spouses changing.  My friend said that, "it's important to grow individually and collectively.  If only one person is growing, then they outgrow the other."

Very true.  Marriage is a journey.  You may have to do something different stylistically, intimately, or even open your mindset to change in order to keep up with your spouse.  For example: let's say that you marry someone who at one point, just like you, loves to eat junk food and sit on the couch and watch movies.  For ten years, this is what the two of you enjoy.  However, now you're approaching your 40's and your spouse starts to get concerned about health issues.  So, they join a gym and work out regularly.  If you choose to not evolve with your spouse, then you run the risk of an eventual issue in the marriage.

Is one spouse wrong for wanting a healthier lifestyle?  No. Is the other one wrong for wanting a more relaxed lifestyle?  No.  But, odds are, they will clash at some point.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the saying,"you should accept me for who I am" applies to both spouses and not just for the one who refuses to change.

Start Your Own Stereotype

I went to the eye doctor a few weeks back and I noticed an Asian mom encouraging her son to read.  Now, why do I have to reference what race she was?  Because Asian people are stereotyped for being smart.

But, they're not born smart contrary to what some dumb people may think.  The reason the stereotype exists is because there's a culture in place for them that places an emphasis on learning.

Maybe instead of assuming that every Asian baby is born with a high IQ why not start your own stereotype?  Take time to teach your child the importance of early education and it will stick with them for life.  Then maybe they can teach their kids and start a new tradition of learning for your race.

Learning isn't exclusive to Asians any more than dancing is exclusive to black people.  Anyone can do anything another race can do with practice.  It does appear that some things come more naturally to some than others, but don't let that deter you.  If you believe then you can achieve.  Okay, that was cheesy even for me.

Don't Let The Money Make You

Black people are always looking for role models and we have plenty in the world right in front of us. However, we don't want to make a movie about one unless they're an athlete, singer or actor. Uh, oh, I need to get on my soapbox for a minute.

(steps up)

Where are the movies about black doctors, counselors, teachers and people who make a real difference in the lives of millions? Why am I constantly bombarded with movies about black maids and butlers as if there aren't any black humanitarians? Why can't I watch an inspiring movie about a black person providing help instead of being "The Help?"

Let's think about some of the "black" movies for 2013: "Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain", Tyler Perry's "Temptation" and his movie, "We the Peeples", "Fruitvale Station," "42," "Haunted House" with the Wayans, and "After Earth."  Two comedies, two Tyler Perry flicks, a tragedy, a sports movie on racism and a sci-fi movie with Will Smith and his kid. Those are my options. No movie like the one on Steve Jobs. No "Great Gatsby."  No "Wolf of Wall Street."  Do you see what I'm saying?

People probably think that no one would watch it, but I disagree. Black people attend the movies probably more than any other race. It's not that we don't crave quality movies about role models, it's just that Hollywood won't make movies like that. In fact, we may only be a decade away from all black movies being complete foolishness at the theaters just like today's music is a joke on some of the mainstream radio stations.

Hollywood isn't going to make these movies. People like my man Archie in the Virgin Islands may some day, but he's not financially in a position to do that now to my knowledge. This is why people like Harry Belafonte get upset and preach about social responsibility. Because the black people capable of making this type of impact in society aren't interested in making a difference, they're only interested in making more money. So, since no one wants to be a leader in 2013, then black people who really matter in this country become irrelevant to society.

People are always quick to say "make that money, don't let the money make you." Well, that's what's been happening for the last 15-20 years. Now, what a person does with their money is their business, but what I say with my mouth is mine. And some things just need to be said.

People are letting the money "make them" by dictating everything they do or don't do on their next paycheck. "If I speak out against this group then I'll lose revenue." If you think this way, then make no mistake about it, the dollar is making you.

Back to the movies... I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with the movies that I named. I loved "42." I'm sure that I'll laugh at Kevin Hart's movie when I finally see it. I'll even watch "After Earth" once it reaches the $3 everything must go bin at Target.

I'm just saying that black people need some balance in America. We need some good to equal out the bad and the foolishness. For every Trinidad James we need a Kendrick Lamar. For every Shaunie O'Neal, we need a Kerry Washington. We can't have 20 reality shows of black women pulling out each other's weave to every one primetime drama.

If I were a white person who didn't personally know any black folks, I'd lock my doors every time I saw someone who even looked like they had a tan. Because the movies say if they're not working for me, then TV says that I should be afraid of them. All because we don't have representation.

I'm off my soap box now.

(steps down)

Memo to Black Women

Black women, I'm still down with you.  Despite the negative things that you see on social networks, view on television, or hear on the radio, I'm still in your corner and so are plenty of others.  I just think that you just need to refocus your attention in order to see that.

I recently came across a few Instagram photos of R&B singer, Maxwell.  In the photos were two white ladies.  Maxwell received multiple comments, from black women, criticizing him for not enjoying his time with black women instead of white women.  As you can imagine, he lashed out at his fan base and essentially told them to mind their own business.  I think that he was within his right to do so.  A man's preference in dating is absolutely nobody's business.

However, here's my two cents in regards to black women negatively reacting to black men dating white women: the reaction Maxwell received is contributing to the angry, black woman stereotype that gives black men the excuse to seek other races.  No one wants to be publicly criticized for who they sleep with, date, or love just because of that person's race.  Whether it's fair or not, being too critical (especially in public) is the reputation that black women have had ever since neck wagging and hand snapping originated.  That fear alone is what a lot of men have when it comes to black women.  Blame reality TV, blame rap music, blame whatever.  Unfortunately, it exists and it's not going away until enough people do the exact opposite of the stereotype.

My advice to black women is to abstain from commenting on black men at all if they step outside of their race.  You're doing more harm than good.  What's the point anyway?  When was the last time you criticized someone and expected them to love you for it?  If they wish to stray, regardless of reason, then let them stray.

There are still plenty of black men in this country who appreciate the love of a black woman.  Stop letting people tell you that we're all in jail, gay, or dead.  We're not unicorns.  We're as real as the air that you're breathing.  There are plenty of us out there hoping for that special someone with a dark complexion, but she hasn't noticed us yet.  We're just waiting on you to stop focusing on the men who don't love you and for you to focus on the men who do.

For those of you looking for an open letter to black men, then check out The Tasha Mac Chronicles.  

Ladies & Race

Tia Norfleet

March is Women's History Month and since we're coming off of Black History Month, I've decided to combine the two. Now "Ladies & Race" kind of has a double meaning in this post. I'm not only referring to the race of a woman, I'm also referring to the race within a woman.

Tia Norfleet is a 24 year old black woman who's looking to make her way onto the NASCAR circuit. Now, many ladies have already paved the way for women in racing, most recently, Danica Patrick. However, Tia has another trailblazer to follow who just happens to be her dad. Bobby Norfleet was a racer who thrived back in the 90's and helped NASCAR gain some awareness in the black community.

However, there is something that I hope Tia avoids: being sexualized. Danica Patrick has already fallen into that pit by doing Maxim and the Go Daddy commercials. Because men, who represent a majority of racing fans, have turned her into a visual fantasy, she has to be better than just "good" in order to be taken seriously in racing.


When women get involved in predominantly male-viewed sports, I think that it's a bad thing for them to succumb to the pressures of getting rich and subjecting themselves to being sexualized. I'm a huge fan of mixed-martial arts fighter, Meisha Tate (although she was beaten pretty badly the other day by Ronda Rousey). Meisha is a great fighter and has done some pretty exciting things in her MMA matches. She has also posed for magazines and websites in less-than-revealing clothing. She has a ton of male fans, but are they flocking towards her because of her fighting skills or the fact that she's hotter than fish grease on a Mississippi farm? Or both?

Meisha Tate

So, there's a thin line between 'famous for what you do' to 'famous for how you look.' I know it's wrong for men to sexualize women as we do. Face it, we're Neanderthals. However, despite the fact that it's wrong, it's reality. And as long as there are women who will take booty shots on camera, there will always be men who will be in the market for it. There's a time and place for everything and I get that to some people, their bodies are all the talents that they have. But, if you possess a talent to compete in a sport or even an everyday place of business, then why belittle those talents by taking it all off? I'm just hoping that Tia Norfleet has more photos like the below and makes her mark in NASCAR for how she 'drives cars' rather than how she 'drives men crazy.'

Do you approve of women taking it off to get awareness in male-viewed events?

Caucasian Persuasion on Asian

Now that I have your attention...

Americans have a powerful influence on the rest of the world (not always good either). People love our music, our cinema and our fashion. However, it seems that there is even more of an influence on other countries than we realize: they want the American look as well.

Wait. You didn't think that this post was going to be something sexual because of the title, did you? LOL! You dirty bird! Anyway, even one of the most prominent races on the planet (and prettiest per this doctor), don't mind being a little bit American. Although this story isn't anything new, I recently got reminded of it when I stumbled across an old Tyra Banks Show video.

Asian eyelid surgery. Some Asians are getting surgery to remove the familiar eye shape to get it to resemble more of a American (or European) look. Getting a crease stitched into the eyelid achieves that look for them. It's said to be a painful surgery that can cause discomfort for up to 10 days, yet many Asians brave it to seek their new look. A recipient of this surgery would also have to deal with the criticism from the Asians who consider the surgery "self-mutilation."

Now, I've heard of Asians getting contact lenses to have blue eyes, but is the surgery going a little bit too far? Don't get me wrong. A lot of people would argue that any cosmetic surgery is denying who you are and going too far. I can't say that I agree with that, but when it comes to doing something that's manipulating your heritage, is that going too far? Some Asians are upset with the concept and call these people "Twinkies" (yellow on the outside / white on the inside). According to a few forums that I read, there are some Asian-Americans who consider the term a compliment as they feel priviledged to have white features.

I think back to how so many black people got upset with Michael Jackson when he slowly transformed from a young, black boy to an older, white woman lighter skin. Black people were outraged over the skin-lightening despite Jacko's pleas that it was due to a skin disease. Black people are now up in arms over recent photos of Beyonce' in which her skin was lightened for the photos.

So, don't just think that there's only a Caucasian persuasion on Asian. It extends to many different races, if not all. Imagine that. All of these years I'm thinking that we black people were the trendy ones, but I've never heard of an Asian craze for full lips and apple bottoms. Hmmph. Black people need to step their game up. :)

What's your take on it all? Is it okay to change your look to whatever you want?

Black History is American History

Every February, we celebrate Black History Month. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we've heard all of the jokes about blacks being given the shortest and coldest month. Hardy, har, har. Well, as a black man, I think that the fact we still have to designate a month to celebrate black history only shows that this country is still going the wrong direction when it comes to race relations.

Why do we need to set aside a certain time of the year to remember the contributions of black people to this country? I turn on my television and I start to see all of these Black History Moment commercials describing something a black person did that benefited people of all races. From the lawn mower to the air conditioning unit, black inventors have contributed greatly during the history of this country. But, I have to wait once a year to hear about it? Pathetic. This country is considered as The Great American Melting Pot, but what are we cooking?

I acknowledge Black History Month, but I don't celebrate Black History Month. Why? Because Black History is American History. They are one in the same. I should be able to open an American history book and see all of these contributions. And before every black reader thinks to themselves, "Amen to that," remember that it goes both ways. Why do we not hear about the white people who contributed to the promotion and equality of black people? We, as black people, have come a long way over the last 100 years, but don't act like we did it alone. We had help.

Charles Follis is credited to be the 1st black pro football player.

So, this is what I suggest that we do going forward: let's get past being "the first" black to do something. To celebrate someone was the "first black" to do something indicates that we're still not where we need to be. It means that we lack representation in something. When Obama won the presidency in 2008, most people said, "thank, God."

I said, "About time."

Black people need to push for our history to be a part of American history and do away with a designated month and video clips of MLK that we've all seen 1,000 times. When are we going to ask for what we deserve instead of just taking what we're given?




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#Jordan Heads

First, watch the video...



From the NY Times: "In Charlotte, N.C., shoppers smashed glass doors to get to the sneakers. In suburban Atlanta, the police made four arrests when a crowd broke down a door to get into a store before it opened. In Richmond, Calif., a man fired a single gunshot in the air just after a mall opened. In Louisville, officers had to stop fights that popped up among a crowd of waiting shoppers. And in a suburb of Seattle, the police used pepper spray."

I'm not a Michael Jordan fan. I enjoyed watching him play, but I've seen way too many examples of him being a bad person off of the court. He appears selfish, greedy and arrogant. Despite not being relevant as an NBA player any more, he is still very much relevant in the shoe game. Jordan's over-priced kicks still cause people to lose their minds when a new edition is released. What makes this situation even worse? These shoes weren't even new. These were the same pair released in 1995 being re-released, if that's a word.

More than 1,000 people lined up for these $180 pair of shoes in certain cities across the country. I doubt you would see 1,000 crack heads in line for free crack in front of a crack house, yet these "Jordan Heads" chose to wait on a pair of shoes that basically everyone else in the city will also own. Nothing says "having my own identity" like wearing something everyone else has, huh? And I don't want to hear anyone compare this to the iPhone or iPad. At least those products are productive and can provide entertainment. Besides, most people buy those items for personal use, they don't buy them to flaunt.

Do you remember this kid idiot?



He hid in a garbage can when a store was closed so that he could have a good spot in line when it reopened. That's the type of behavior these shoes encourage when parents are non-existent. Now, I can't blame Nike or Jordan for these actions. They do market to the youth, but then again, what company doesn't? I blame the parents because they obviously dropped the ball some where with what's important. I'm not saying that people can't buy what they want, but if you need something materialistic so badly that you're willing to participate in a scene like the above videos, then I really do question your intelligence.

And to top it all off, what really makes me mad, as a black man, is that a majority of these idiots participating in this foolishness are black. We complain about inequality in the job market and how bad the economy is. Yet, we will borrow $20 just to have enough money to pay for a pair of sneakers that we're going to see on every 3rd person who walks by in the mall.

You know what? Maybe I should buy a pair... just so I can give these people a swift kick and bury this shoe straight up their... er, uh, Merry Christmas, all! :)




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The EOE

I've dropped tons of acronyms on you within my blog posts since Day One. But, here's one you've probably never heard of before: The EOE. The Equal Opportunity Exploiter.

Yep, we're talking VH1. I have to applaud them. I've seen "Basketball Wives 1 and 2," "Love & Hip-Hop," "Mob Wives" and now we can all look forward to "Baseball Wives." VH1 keeps it real! No just exploiting black women here. They'll exploit anyone! Black, Italian and now a couple of Latinas and some good ol' American white women!

And I do give the cast members of this show a little credit. After all, each of them are either currently married to a baseball player or were once married to one. That's better than the baby mamas saturating the "Basketball Wives" cast.

I came across this show on Facebook when one of my "friends" stated that she didn't want to watch the show because the women dressed "slutty." LOL! What? This is from someone who watches BBW, Real Housewives and Jersey Shore. Uh, ok.

Trust me, VH1 guarantees drama which guarantees ratings. People will get their modern day Jerry Springer fix and will be anxious to discuss the show on social networks. Besides, I'm sure Anna Benson (middle of photo) has the resume to provide drama. She was once named baseball's hottest wife and said if her husband ever cheated on her that she would sleep with the entire Mets organization. If that's not drama, then I'm not sure what is.

After all, Anna is a self-made woman. Dropped out of high school, stripped in Atlanta strip clubs (where she met her husband, Kris) and has made her way onto FHM's magazine cover. Don't you love a country where self-proclaimed "harlot" can turn a 10th grade education into being a millionaire's spouse and a reality TV show? God bless America!

I guess Twitter will tell all. "Basketball Wives" has single-handedly shut down Twitter from tweets from the fans who watch the show. Personally, I wish all of these shows would go away, but they're very successful in the television ratings on top of being inexpensive to produce. I don't think we're too far away from multiple all-reality show channels and the extinction of scripted television. "CSI" will be replaced by "Welfare Women With Nothing To Do." "How I Met Your Mother" will be replaced by "From Ashy to Classy." And so on and so on...

Prepare yourselves people. The EOE is on pace to kill billions of brain cells... one episode at a time.




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#Tebowing? Seriously?

I'm sorry, but I have to play the role of angry black man for a post.

If you haven't heard by now, then you will soon. There's a new craze taking the sports world by storm: Tebowing! Here's the definition of Tebowing: (verb) to get down on a knee and start praying, even if everyone else around you is doing something completely different.

I didn't make that up. I took that definition from a website.

Aaron Rodgers of the champion Green Bay Packers has a move that he does when he scores a touchdown. He does an impersonation of someone putting on a championship belt a la boxing or wrestling. I've seen countless stories done on this craze on ESPN and FOX Sports.

It's caught on like mad since last season with all of the exposure it gets.

Okay, non-sports topic. Kim Kardashian is praised for her butt. She released a sex tape with loser, Ray J, some years ago and her butt has been all over TV, websites and magazines ever since. She is extremely curvy and has even been credited with the influence of Booty Pop Pads. Even though J-Lo ignited the craze, Kim K. was the gasoline that set it ablaze and turned it into an inferno. Now booty is something that people are actually paying money for to have surgically implanted for those who weren't blessed with the bump at birth.





(Insert angry black man here)
Are you kidding me? Why is it a trend now? Why is it that things black people either did first or have done for years are being hyped when someone white does it?

Tebowing Kneeling after a touchdown was done before the invention of the internet. Tebowing? Seriously? Players have been doing this for as long as I can remember, but now it has a name? And why isn't it just called "praying?"

Way before Tebow

As for Aaron Rodgers' championship belt move... Are you kidding me? Freddie Mitchell, who played for the Philadelphia Eagles, was doing this back in 2004 and he's one of many. Why is it such a big deal now? Mitchell made the mock championship belt famous while Rodgers was still a junior in college.

Way before Rodgers

And don't get me started on K.K.'s booty. Black women have had "apple bottoms" since man first walked the earth and now all of a sudden it's attractive? After years of seeing women resembling the letter "I" on my TV and on magazine covers now it's in vogue to be shaped like an "8?"

I just wanted to add her photo because she's fine, but, yes, before K.K.

These type of things have been going on since before I was born. Back in the '70's The Jackson 5 got their own cartoon while the Osmonds got their own cartoon, TV show and movie. Rap was a predominant black genre for decades, but Eminem has won more Grammys in the last 10 years than any black rapper has from 1979 to now. In fact, it takes rap legends Jay-Z, Kanye West and L.L. Cool J. combined just to have more nominations than Eminem. That's over 60 years of rap experience combined to just to beat one man.

Do you see where I'm going with this now? Look, I don't want to discredit any of the people listed above. Tim Tebow has the heart of a champion. Aaron Rodgers is the best quarterback in the NFL right now. Kim Kardashian is one of the finest women on the planet. (I have no comment on the Osmonds -- LOL!) Eminem is one of my favorite all-time rappers. Not once did I say weren't worthy of being great.

The point I want to leave everyone with is that I wish the mainstream media would not act like black people who came before them (doing what they did) don't exist. Don't hype one without hyping them all. Enough of this Columbus Day syndrome and giving people credit for discovering something that was already here.





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TQ Presents... @Reckmonster

I generally try to put out three blog posts per week, but from time-to-time, I get caught up with other things: The Mrs., work, football, etc. So, I figured, why not solicit some of my favorite bloggers to take up the slack for me. Yeah, that's right, I can facilitate my blogging duties to others! How lazy wonderful is that?

So, I've asked Michelle to grace my blog with her bold and up front style of blogging! Well, I'm going to let the Reckmonster do her thing. But, before I do so, I want to announce that this is blog post #250! Reck, feel privileged that #250 will be graced with your talents!

"When I Found Out I Wasn't White"

You know what I find abso-fucking-lutely hysterical? I'mma tell you: When people give a disclaimer that they're not prejudiced, but go on to express their disdain for when white girls date black guys, or white guys date asian girls, or so on and so on. Hmmmm, let's dissect this even further...you're not "prejudiced," per se, but you have a problem with when the black bull strays into another farmer's pasture and mounts the white heifer? And even MORE unbelievable??? Is when people say this to ME. ME - the chick who is the product of an interracial marriage. You're gonna pontificate about the evils of the races "mixing" and you're gonna do it to the audience of the crazy "mixed" chick?! I will never understand that. Like I'm going to fucking agree with you or something: "Hell yeah! Let's keep those races separate! All that happens is crazy, mixed up mutts get born and don't fit in anywhere." Or even better - when I actually point out their faux pas (translation: COMPLETE FUCK UP), and their priceless response??? "Well, not YOU - we think of you as 'white!'" My response is not usually well received: "Well, that's mighty fucking white of you!" Can you tell this subject is a little, hmmm, "charged" for me?! Yeah. Just a lil. You want to know why? Let me share...

People wonder all of the time what "flavor" I am. I get asked, "Where are you from?" all of the time. When I answer, "Michigan," they roll their eyes and say, "No REALLY, like where are you REALLY from?" And if the scruff on the back of my neck starts to stand - because they're being real douches about it, I say, "I REALLY AM from Michigan. I was born there. But if you're curious about my parental ancestry or my ethnicity, then you should ask me that." If they're honestly curious (and - bless their hearts - truly clueless about how to tactfully ask), I usually answer with, "Well, My dad's family is from Michigan, and I was born there too - but my mom's family is from the Philippines. So I'm Heinz 57." That usually satisfies people enough because they nod knowingly and say, "OOOOH! O-kayyyyy."

The real truth is that my mother is Filipino, my father is a mish-mash of Chippewa Indian (yes, we are card carrying members of the Sault Tribe of Chippewa Indians) and whatever "whiteness" was hanging out up there in Michigan - maybe French Canadian, but who knows? My parents have always referred to me as a "mestiza" (which is a Filipino word meaning "mixed"). And since I grew up in an Army family - most of my friends were "mixed" bags too. My best friend in High School was half Black and half Thai. Then there was the beautiful girl a year ahead of me who was half Puerto Rican and half Korean. You get the idea.

Fast forward to sixth grade: My dad gets us stationed in Louisiana. We had just come from Korea. Now, Louisiana was probably the biggest culture shock in the world to me. And we lived in this po-dunk town that was a good 20+ miles from the Army post, so they were much more removed from all of that "mixing" that occurs in the military. I encountered my first real bouts of experiencing "racism" there.

Being the child prodigy that I was (snicker snicker), I was slated to be interviewed for the Beauregard Parish School System's Talented and Gifted program ("TAG") - accelerated classes for the smarty pants nerd kids (and yeah, I got in and was in the TAG program the whole time we were stationed in LA - until we moved to Germany in the middle of my Freshman year of HS). Now, in order to get me signed up for the interview, my homeroom teacher had to fill out some basic info on the application. She asked for my date of birth, place of birth, yada, yada, yada. Then, the conversation got interesting:

Teacher: Race?
Me: White.
Teacher: Are you sure? [accompanied by double-take surprised look]
Me: Yes. [accompanied by, "Are you retarded?" look]
Teacher: Well, you're not Black, right?
Me: No.
Teacher: Are you Mexican?
Me: No.
Teacher: Are you sure you're White?
Me: [exasperated by this point] Yes! My dad is White. And my mom is Filipino, but she's an American citizen now, so she's White too. [ahhhh...to be that naive again...]
Teacher: Well, okay, then I guess we'll mark White. (and she proceeds to reluctantly mark the "White" box on the "Race" portion of the questionnaire)
Me: Mkay.

So, what is a 12 year old supposed to do now? I get home and immediately start grilling my momster.

Me: MOM! What am I?
Momster: What are you talking about?
Me: Am I WHITE?!!!
Momster: You're a mestiza.
Me: Yeah, but does that mean I'm White?!
Momster: Well, you're a mestiza...
Me (annoyed, impatient and traumatized at this point): BUT THERE'S NOT A BOX FOR MESTIZA!!!
Momster: Well, you can be whatever you want to be.
Me: MOM! I need to KNOW what box to mark!!!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is when I found out that I was NOT White. 12 years old...living a "White" lie - because nobody bothered to tell me BEFORE we moved to KKK-ville that I was NOT White. Thus began my campaign to fuck with those silly "race" boxes every opportunity I get. Sometimes I mark "Asian/Pacific Islander" and sometimes I mark "Other." Sometimes I mark "all that apply" and check off all kinds of boxes. And sometimes (since I got my Chippewa Indian card) I mark "Native American." I like to make sure that I mark as many DIFFERENT racial representations of myself to all of the different jackasses that feel like they need to know. I think I even mark a different race every time the census comes out. HAH! Take that!! [insert Bronx Cheer here] But...I NEVER mark "White" - because I now KNOW that I'm NOT.

The Prettiest Female

Some idiots overseas did some research to try and determine the best-looking race of women. Long story short, the Asian doctor who led the study concluded that Asian women looked the best. Imagine that.

I personally think the study was a waste of time, money and effort. There is no such thing as "the prettiest race of women." Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right? How do you think Patrick Ewing ever got married?

Beauty means something different to everyone. What may look good to me, may not look good to you. And it goes even further than just judging people. My father is a fan of antique cars and because of that influence, to this day, I love seeing antiques on the road. Someone who grew up without that same influence might not have the appreciation for a '64 Impala like I do. Does that mean an '09 Impala is ugly? Of course not! So why waste so many resources trying to determine what can't be measured? I guess because someone will read it and say to themselves, "Hmmmmm... That makes sense!"

It never fails. There are enough morons in the world to take what they read and assume it's the gospel truth. After all, it takes too much effort to actually form your own opinion, right?

The good doctor also concluded that black women were the ugliest race of women. His "scientific study" determined that they possess more testosterone in their bodies than other races of females and those create masculine features that render them unattractive as a race.

There's nothing masculine about this cup of coffee.

Wow. Is that why we're bombarded with the Snookis, Kardashians and Hiltons of the world on TV and in magazines? Because the majority of the country think sistas are ugly? Nah, that study can't be correct, can it? If so, how could it explain that Sandra Oh and a few actresses in Verizon commercials are the only Asians I see regularly on TV?

Okay, I'm being a little sarcastic, but you get my point. Besides, I see beauty in all races of women. I love my dark-skinned sistas, Latinas are hot, Asian women are exotic, Indian women are majestic, and I have a fascination for white women with red hair (I was jealous of Ricky Ricardo as a child).

I guess what I'm trying to get to is this: It doesn't matter if you're a curvaceous Latina in the Bronx or a size 0 white woman in the Bay Area, you are beautiful to someone. Don't let some nut and his "scientific study" be yet another reason to lower your self-esteem. This country is way too vain as it is with how we place who we consider "beautiful people" on a pedestal. Don't let the media dictate what defines "beauty." Take beauty pageants at face value and understand that it recognizes a concept and not a reality. Instill in your daughters that they're beautiful ladies and should expect demand that they be treated as queens.

Embracing Diversity

As you know, I recently hit the 100 follower mark. People from multiple backgrounds around the globe fill that list and it feels great to interact with them all. It's a feeling that I welcome because I wasn't able to experience as a kid.

I enjoy meeting people from different backgrounds. I'm not just talking about someone who may have grown up in the "deep country" or in the "big city". I'm talking about people who have immediate roots in foreign countries.

Growing up in Mississippi, pretty much everything in my school was black and white. Literally. We had roughly eight Hispanics, maybe two Asians and one Indian. I was vice president of our high school Spanish Club, so I knew most of the Hispanics. I had a class with the Indian, Pratop, who was fascinated by blondes and saw little-to-no time to hang out with the likes of my crew. I didn't know either of the Asians classmates while in school, but later met one of them a decade later in a nightclub when she recognized me. My knowledge of her barely went past a brief conversation that night.

So, pretty much through all of my youth, everyone I came in contact with daily was either black or white. I never got a chance to embrace different cultures until much later in life as I got into the workplace. Over time, I got to travel and I met and established friendships with my first Asian, Russian, German, etc. Now I have a melting pot of associates and the blogging world has extended that opportunity even more.

I've interacted with people from all over the world and I would just like to say "thanks." From Paula in Germany or Alice X in England to my Cuban-born blogging inspiration, Annah.

So, regardless if you're a Ukrainian-Canadian redhead named Cherie living on the west coast or a black, Mississippi educator sharing my home state like Diana, then I have much love for you!

If you're one of my readers from out of the country, please say "hello" in the comments below! I'd love to hear from you and find out how you found the blog.