Sunday, August 18, 2013

Memo to Black Women

Black women, I'm still down with you.  Despite the negative things that you see on social networks, view on television, or hear on the radio, I'm still in your corner and so are plenty of others.  I just think that you just need to refocus your attention in order to see that.

I recently came across a few Instagram photos of R&B singer, Maxwell.  In the photos were two white ladies.  Maxwell received multiple comments, from black women, criticizing him for not enjoying his time with black women instead of white women.  As you can imagine, he lashed out at his fan base and essentially told them to mind their own business.  I think that he was within his right to do so.  A man's preference in dating is absolutely nobody's business.

However, here's my two cents in regards to black women negatively reacting to black men dating white women: the reaction Maxwell received is contributing to the angry, black woman stereotype that gives black men the excuse to seek other races.  No one wants to be publicly criticized for who they sleep with, date, or love just because of that person's race.  Whether it's fair or not, being too critical (especially in public) is the reputation that black women have had ever since neck wagging and hand snapping originated.  That fear alone is what a lot of men have when it comes to black women.  Blame reality TV, blame rap music, blame whatever.  Unfortunately, it exists and it's not going away until enough people do the exact opposite of the stereotype.

My advice to black women is to abstain from commenting on black men at all if they step outside of their race.  You're doing more harm than good.  What's the point anyway?  When was the last time you criticized someone and expected them to love you for it?  If they wish to stray, regardless of reason, then let them stray.

There are still plenty of black men in this country who appreciate the love of a black woman.  Stop letting people tell you that we're all in jail, gay, or dead.  We're not unicorns.  We're as real as the air that you're breathing.  There are plenty of us out there hoping for that special someone with a dark complexion, but she hasn't noticed us yet.  We're just waiting on you to stop focusing on the men who don't love you and for you to focus on the men who do.

For those of you looking for an open letter to black men, then check out The Tasha Mac Chronicles.  

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