Back In My Day...

When I was a kid, I remember when my dad started many sentences with, "Back in my day...".  I also remember when I hit the point in my life when I started sentences the same way when talking to my god kids.

However, I feel differently about that than I once did.  

Because of the lack of technology, society evolved at a snail's pace 50+ years ago.  The only way to know what someone was doing in another region was via TV, radio, or word of mouth.  That meant a lot of traditions and pastimes stayed intact for a lot longer back then than it does today.  Thanks to the internet, a new trend can start all over the world in a matter of hours as opposed to decades.

My father's generation and the generations prior to it enjoyed fishing and hunting as kids because that was one of few recreational options they had at the time.  Fast forward to my generation and we also enjoyed those things, too.  Until they were replaced by computers, video games, shopping malls and music videos in the 80's.  For me, sitting in front of a computer for hours was the equivalent of my dad sitting on the bank of his favorite fishing hole all day.

As we mature, we want younger people to appreciate and embrace what we once did without taking into account that they deserve a chance to enjoy their pastimes just like we did.  We need to stop putting them down for going to establishments just to take selfies, the music they enjoy, or the fact that they can't function without a smart phone.  We're always going to think that our generation is better just as our parents think that theirs was.

As someone from Generation X, I'll always be thankful that...

• I got through hundreds of mall visits and 12 years of public school without fear of a mass shooting.
• I attended many concerts and comedy shows without fear of a viral infection.
• I got to slow dance in nightclubs.
• I was able to get away with a lot of knuckleheaded things because there weren't cell phone videos.

The list goes on.

Going forward, whenever one of my god kids tells me about something they enjoy doing, I'll refrain from saying "back in my day..." as if to dismiss their pastimes.  I'll save my stories for when I'm asked about it.  After all, they deserve to have their own memories to embrace just as I have mine.  And it's only a matter of time before they're also starting sentences with "Back in my day..."

Teach Your Sons How To Be Men

If parents would teach their sons how to handle their responsibilities when they are young, then someone else's daughter won't have to do so when they are grown. 

Boys who are not challenged and have not accomplished anything turn into immature and irresponsible adults. They will usually shy away from anything they deem difficult from a good job to a good woman.

Ladies, you don't have to date a man like that. And you definitely don't have to have a baby by one. 

Ladies, if you are in a relationship and find yourself being a mom more than you are being his woman then something is wrong. If the same Christmas gifts you bought your dude could also make your 12-year old son happy, then doesn't that tell you something? It doesn't mean that guys can't enjoy gaming consoles and sneakers, but if that's what he's all about then ma'am, you have a son! In just a couple of generations, we've gone from dads getting a tie, some socks, or tools for Christmas to shopping for your dude in the same stores that you shop for your son. 

Do you know why some guys are bad boyfriends, husbands, and dads? Because no one told them that they sucked as a person before they became a boyfriend, husband, or dad. They kept getting their way and having things done for them until they grew into overgrown children. It's hard to reprogram someone who has never had to be held accountable for his actions.  Parents are supposed to teach and guide along with providing shelter and entertainment.

Blame the moms and dads who didn't teach their sons how to be a caring and responsible person. Don't get me wrong.  You can't make a guy be responsible. He has to want to do that. However, you can instill some values in him when he's young that may he may adopt into his lifestyle as he grows older.  

How many of you parents out there, man or woman, have had conversations with your sons about the importance of doing well on the job? Regardless of the type of job. How many of you have taught your sons not to leech off of women? How many of you have taught your sons that their responsibilities come before their hobbies? 

Only you know the truth to those questions. And some of you are not hitting the Like button because you know that I'm talking about you. That's okay. You don't have to like what I say as long as you consider what I'm saying. 

Some of you ladies are raising the same men that you despise.  Running around talking about, "this is my king".  Buying him $200 sneakers and the boy is 14 years old and reading on a 4th grade level.  He knows the lyrics to every song by Lil Uzi, Lil Shotgun, Lil Glock or whatever "Lil" is rapping these days, but has to move his lips when reading a Dr. Seuss book.  Talking about your son is going to be a "heartbreaker" with the women and then you wind up a 32-year old grandmother because you never taught him how to respect relationships.  

And some of you dudes are not raising your sons at all. You're not present. And when you are present, you aren't teaching him anything that can help him develop into a man. You think that playing him in Madden fulfils your duties as a dad.  No, it doesn't.  

Why are you setting your sons up for failure? Why are you not teaching him to not just to seek book knowledge, but also knowledge of self?  Why are you not teaching him how to get and keep a good job?  Why are you not instilling the importance of ownership and an excellent credit score?  

Why are you not teaching him to establish himself as a man first and then find a woman. And make sure that he is capable of handling that woman. 

Guys, your son is a reflection of you. I don't care if he lives with his mom, a son is a reflection of his dad's teachings. If you don't make the effort to have those conversations with your son then who do you think will get the blame if he grows up to be a sorry dude?

How To Listen To The Talk 2 Q Radio Show

Click here.  It's just that simple. :)

The Talk 2 Q Radio Show is a show for adults to get together and rant about whatever the trending topic may be. Relationships, race relations, politics, sports, and more! If you have something to get off your chest, then join the chat room and / or call in and let your opinions be known!

Unlike most shows where you simply listen to the host, I allow you a chance to do the talking. You have the opportunity to express an opinion or rant on a subject. I want to hear what you have to say which is why I named the show "Talk 2 Q" and not "Listen 2 Q."

The Call-in Number: (516) 595-8306. There is also the aforementioned chat room where you can interact with other listeners and ask questions to the host and / or guests.


Okay, enough of that. Let's talk about what I'm really about. Where do I start? I'm old school. That's an understatement to any of you who have followed me for a while, but it's a true statement. Being blessed with a two-parent household as a child, I was raised with many traditional values from the Hospitality State of Mississippi.

Examples: taking my hat/cap off before entering someone's home, holding a door for a lady to enter first, a firm handshake, making eye contact when speaking with people, and being accountable for my actions to name a few.

As crazy as it sounds, those things are becoming a lost art. Too many boys out there lack the man training that is necessary to continue the dwindling cycle of main components of manhood. Pride, responsibility, and accountability have been replaced with entitlement, dependency, and deflection. 

These are the things that fuel the passion for my radio show. I want to bring morals and values back to mainstream America one show at a time. Because although there are plenty of outlets for people to express themselves freely, there isn't one quite like T2Q.

Direct. Real. Uncensored. 

Why? Because "some things need to be said."

Treat Mothers With The Respect They're Due

I have to admit that Mother's Day hasn't been quite the same for me since my mom passed away in 2012.

I'm blessed to still have my grandmother who is 97 years old and also I still get gifts from my late wife's mom. But, the day still seems incomplete without my mother.

My mom's name was Mary. She was 69 years old when she passed in June 2012 from cancer. She was diagnosed around 2009 and it slowly ate away at her.

My mom spent the last month of her life in the hospital. One of the toughest moments of my life was when I was feeding her one evening because she was unable to feed herself. I thought about how she fed me as a baby and now here it was I was doing the same for her. It took everything within me to not cry in front of her and I'll never forget that moment. The amount of appreciation for every she did for me in my life swelled up inside of me and almost exploded in a wave of emotions at that very instant.

But, I managed to keep it together. In that moment, all I could think about were the many instances that she made sacrifices for me. Helping me with homework. Taking me to practice when my dad had to work. Being a taxi for me and my friend, Shawn, or my cousin, Jerome, to go to the mall arcade to play video games. So many times, she put off what she wanted to do to make sure that my brother and I were happy.

I'm so glad that she had an opportunity to retire and actually enjoy her life before she got sick. She loved to go fishing and she loved to visit casinos. And she did that very often for about five to seven years before she got too weak to go. The morning she died, I remember the emptiness I felt. When the coroners took her from the hospital room, I felt as if I should go with them to accompany her. I didn't want her to be alone although she'd passed away.  Because she had always been there for me.

I guess that the message that I want to pass on to all of the guys out there is don't take your mom for granted. If she was good to you then do twice as much as you can for her when you get in a situation to do so. And for you guys who are husbands or have children with a woman, you're not exempt from this either.

Husbands, treat your wife right. Spend equal time with your children and allow your wife some alone time. It's not a woman's job to take care of kids. That responsibility belongs to both parents. Do your share. Period.

And for guys who have kids by a woman and you don't have custody of them and don't live with her, please pick up your kids as often as you can. Don't think that just because you get them every other weekend (after she's had them for 12 days straight) that you're doing something special.  Just because you and her are no longer together doesn't mean that their mother is no longer important to you. She's raising your kids! You need her to be at her best which means you need to relieve her whenever possible. Allow her time to go out or have a spa day or do whatever it is she wants to do. Her peace of mind will allow her to be the best parent she can be.  Your kids deserve that.

I'm ranting, but I'm saying all of this to say: treat mothers with the respect they're due. And I'm not belittling the roles of dads because they are equally as important. We all have a special bond with each active parent. And mothers have a special place in our hearts because we all shared a heartbeat with them at some point of their pregnancy with us. Do right by them and let them feel the love every day of the year and not just on Mother's Day.

Is A Piece Of A Dad Better Than No Dad At All?

Singer, Betty Wright, once famously said that, "a piece of a man is better than no man at all."

That quote may make sense within the right context, but how about this one: is "a piece of a dad better than no dad at all?"

So often, I've encountered women who appear to be going at it alone. Single moms who find themselves trying to take care of their children and maintain a certain standard of a lifestyle on top of that.  Of course, not all women who say that they do it by themselves actually do so. There are a lot of cases where there's a man in the background helping out. However, I want to focus on the dads who aren't there consistently.

Is a part-time dad better than no dad at all when it comes to the well-being of the children and the stress levels of the mother? 

I know quite a few mothers who are struggling financially because their children's father won't help consistently, if at all. But, he does just enough to help from time-to-time.  He may contribute towards back-to-school shopping.  He may pick the kids up now and then to give the mom a much-needed break and some alone time.  Since she's not taking him to court to for steady and mandatory support payments then he's perfectly fine with their arrangement of being able to come and go and he pleases.  Rather than alienating him and forcing him away from good, some of these women tolerate his inconsistencies and continue to make ends meet the best way possible. This not only has an impact on the mom's stress level, but it can also affect the children, and it can also impact any relationship that the mother may attempt to have with a new guy.

Is it worth it?  To have the baby's dad pick his child up every other weekend or give $100 every few weeks worth not putting him on child support and potentially losing any additional actions on his part?

I'm not a single mom, so of course I haven't a clue of what they're going through. However, I've worked with and dated quite a few of them and to say that this acceptance of a piece of a man doesn't have any negative impact whatsoever would be a fairy tale.

I've found myself in position to play dad when it comes to discipline as well as financial assistance. I once even had a woman get upset with me for not helping her financially because I insisted that she asked her child's dad first. We weren't even dating yet she was holding my feet to the fire because she couldn't rely on her baby's dad.

Where do you stand on this? Should a mother always seek child support to secure her kid's prosperity and risk upsetting the dad? Or should she just take what she can get and deal with any shortcomings on her own?

We're Running Out of Men

The title can't be any more simpler than that.  We're have a shortage of men in this country and it's getting worse by the generation.  Notice that I said "in this country".  As far as I can tell, other countries still have men who raise their boys.

Not in the U.S.  Teaching boys to be men is almost a thing of the past.  I blame my generation.  We're so focused on trying to remain young that we won't take the time to be teachers.  A lot of guys my age are competing with younger guys instead of educating them.

There are so many things that a boy should learn if he is to be a productive member of society:

Respect women.

It should start with your mother and extend into the community.  All women are to be respected.  Men should teach their boys that women are different.  Don't talk to them like men.  Don't handle them like men.  Be kind and gentle to them.  Never hit them (unless it's an extreme circumstance that can affect your health. Ex. she has a weapon.).  Don't curse at them.

I know that there are some women out there who act like men, but most of them probably only built up that persona because of the way men treated them in the past.  Be the guy who breaks that cycle by teaching your sons that women aren't to be abused in any shape, form, or fashion.

Leave things better than how you found it.

That's self-explanatory.  If someone loans you something, then care for it as if it were yours and return it in the same condition.  That can be anything from property to someone's emotions.  Always teach others to build.  Some of us guys are like tornadoes going through a nice town.  Everything was perfect before we arrived.  Teach boys to not be that guy.  Take pride in keeping things up.  It can be anything from keeping the lawn mowed at your home to getting litter out of the ditch in your neighborhood.

Have a legendary work ethic.

This almost no longer exists these days.  With the sense of entitlement parents give kids now, it's a wonder that anything gets done in 2019.  The concept of working should be instilled in boys at a very young age so they can take that to adulthood.  Teach them to clean the house, take out the trash, mow the lawn, etc.  Get them in the routine of those things.  A man should have a purpose each day when he gets out of bed.  A male without a purpose is worthless.  Make having work to do his purpose.  You must also not only promote hard work to boys, but teach them to have pride in their work, too.  Don't half-do anything.

Learn from your elders.

This is something we have forgotten to do in this country.  We want to throw people away when they turn 40.  That's why men should always teach boys to listen to older people.  Learn from them.  The best way to get a leg up on life is to talk to someone who has "been there and done that".

Give them tips on the many things that will help them be a better man.  Life isn't a competition between the generations.  Men shouldn't be competing with their younger counterparts.  They should be teaching them how to be better than what they were at that age.  Let the younger generation have it.  We've had our time, so now let's teach them how to make the most of theirs and maybe in return they will appreciate spending more time with older people.

Protect your community.

I don't mean sitting out on your porch with a gun.  I mean doing what you can to keep bad elements from thriving in your neighborhood.  If you reach boys at a young age then you don't have to worry about them robbing you at an older age.  That means being a face in your community.  Get to know your neighbors.  Help them when they need it.  Look out for their kids and keep them out of harm's way.  Everyone wants to mind their own business these days and communities are suffering because of it.  We need to get back to having a village mentality if we ever want to create a generation of men who give back.

Teach boys how to plan.

This may be one of the most importants pieces to the puzzle.  I know way too many guys who are reactionary.  They wait for things to happen and then respond.  Most of the time, the world is collapsing down on them before they can figure out what to do next.  That's why it's important to teach boys how to think ahead.  Educate him on how to forecast his life and use that to make his next decision.  He needs to be taught how to save money, how to establish a career path, and how to plan his family.

Be accountable.

This is one of the hardest things for people to do these days.  So, how do you teach it?  You start young.  Give them chores to do and make sure that it's done properly.  Establish rules and hold them to it.  Teach boys that there are consequences for their actions.  You must firmly instill a "your break it, you bought it mentality" if you expect them to not whine all of their adult lives when things don't go their way.  A man should always be able to look himself in the mirror and admit when he's wrong.  Saying "I apologize" does not make a person weak.

I'm sure that there are a ton of other things that I could have mentioned, but to all of the guys out there who have boys in their lives, please make sure that they grow up to be trustworthy, disciplined, compassionate, and a future role model for the boys they will encounter later in their lives.

Learn The Difference Between "Respectful" and "Fake"

In 2017, being respectful is going the way of the dinosaur.  People have no chill these days.  No respect for the elderly.  No respect for women and children.  No respect for themselves.  The way that we talk to people has to change.

At one time in society, people used to be aware of their audience before they spoke.  They chose their words wisely because they cared about their reputation and they didn't want to offend certain groups.  Men would not curse if women or kids around.  Now women curse just as much as men do now.  Kids do a healthy share of cursing, too.

I discussed that recently to someone (not a Millenial) who responded to me by saying "people who hold their tongues are 'fake'".

Yes, that's right.  People who choose their words around others are "fake" in her eyes.  She explained how everyone in her family curses freely around one another.  It doesn't matter the age, if you are in the room, then you may hear a curse word.  Just deal with it.  Not speaking freely is being fake?  That was the craziest thing I'd ever heard.  Why is showing restraint a bad thing?

Don't get me wrong.  What a person does in their home is their business.  But, some people do it no matter where they are.  At the grocery store, at restaurants, in other people's homes.

There's a time and a place for everything.  You don't drop f-bombs in your boss's office.  Why?
Because it's considered as being disrespectful in the workplace.  No one unleashes curse words when speaking to the preacher at church.  Why?  Because it's a sign of disrespect.  Or in her eyes, it's being fake, I guess.

So, why do people look at you sideways when you ask them not to curse in public?  Is it that hard not to curse?

We keep making excuses for doing what we want to do.  At some point in society, there will be no rules or standards.

To Be or Not To Be (A Parent)?

Before I got married in 2002, I wanted to be a dad.  My wife and I agreed that we would enjoy the first two or three years of our marriage and then work on starting our family.  I would have been around 32 or 33 at the time we started.

However, life happened.  A year and two months after our wedding, she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Our lives were never the same after that.  She had surgery almost immediately and started chemotherapy to try and eradicate the breast cancer cells.  As long as she was on chemo, having children was never an option.

By the time I reached 38 years old and my wife and I both realized that chemotherapy may end up being something she'd have to endure for the rest of her life, my desire for children faded.  I was no longer concerned of being a dad for two reasons: 1) I only wanted my wife to get healthy and 2) I didn't have a desire to be an old dad.  So, I made up my mind that I would be the best godfather to my god kids that I could and no longer worry about being a father.

My wife would remain on chemotherapy for nine years in total up until the day she passed away on November 5th, 2012 at 2 AM.

I was a week way from my 41st birthday and without a wife and a child.  All I ever wanted was the happy ever after ending so many people in the world had.  I wanted my wife, a son, and a daughter.  It didn't seem like too much to ask for, but like I said earlier, "life happened".

My desire to be a parental figure didn't necessarily go away, but my desire to be a father to a newborn did.  So, once I decided to start dating again, I didn't mind dating someone who had children.  However, I never thought that I'd wind up dating someone who had four of them.  Four girls to be exact between the ages of 12 and 19.  Although their mom and I just weren't right for one another, I absolutely enjoyed my time with those kids and still miss spending time with them to this day.  They were wonderful girls who brought a lot of joy to my life!

Then I dated someone who didn't have any kids and she was much younger than me.  Almost 10 years younger, to be exact.  The two of us got along very well, but there was a miscommunication on my part regarding having children.  I was under the impression that she was absolutely set on having them even though I stated at the onset of the relationship that I did not want them.  So, we decided to go our separate ways, which was a shame because I really liked her and we seemed to get along quite nicely.

Not too long after that, an associate of mine from Arkansas became a father.  He was 44 years old at the time when his little man was born.  The look on his face in his Facebook photos showed a happiness that I envied.  Don't get me wrong.  I was extremely happy for him because he expressed so much excitement during his wife's pregnancy.  However, I felt bad for myself for never having that feeling of joy that he was having.

I talked to my brother who is almost six years older than me and doesn't have children.  I asked him what his opinion was on being an older dad.  He told me that even at age 50, if he could be a father, he would do it in a heartbeat.  So, what was stopping me if other guys my age and older were okay with being an older dad?

It made me think.  Was I not wanting to be a dad for the wrong reasons?  Was it a fear of maybe not living long enough to see my child reach his/her 40's like my parents saw my brother and I do?  Was it a fear of not having the "village" in place to help raise the child because so many responsible members of my family were possibly too old to contribute?  What was I afraid of?

Pretty much all of the above.  And after I truly thought about it and realize just how crazy my excuses were for not being a dad, my fear just disappeared and my desire to be a father started to return.  I started wanting an heir to share my dad's funny family stories with so that these stories could continue to live.  I wanted a little one to take to the store to buy comic books just like my mom and dad took me.  I wanted to give someone the life that I had, to the best of my ability.  I felt like I was denying myself a possible chance at a legacy.

And it's that desire that has hit the pause button on my dating with a purpose.  If I want to be a father some day, then that means that I have to date someone who is able/wants to have children.  That means that my dating pool may filter out most people who are my age who may be done having kids or feel as if they've reached an age that it's not safe for them to do so.  I can't move forward until I can decide what it is that I want.

All I can do is continue to pray on it.  Lord knows that I'm not getting any younger.

Hearing "No" Is Sometimes Helpful

As a 45-year old guy, I've heard the word "no" so many times in my life that it's not even funny.  I heard it from my parents.  I heard it from my teachers.  And I've definitely heard it from the opposite sex.

Despite all of that, I didn't die.  I was able to move on with my life and get past it.

Some "no's" came with an explanation.  Some came with a lie.  Some didn't come with anything after it at all.  Yet, I'm still here.

However, there are so many people in the world who are afraid to hear the word "no".  Why is that?

Is it parenting?  Because I've stated time-and-time again on this blog that 70's babies dropped the ball on parenting.  Especially in the black community.  We spend so much time trying to please our children that we fail to teach them anything.  "I want my kid to have the things that I didn't have."

But at what cost?  To the point that they don't know how to handle rejection?

Hearing the word "no" is the best thing for any child to hear.  It teaches them patience.  It teaches them restraint.  It teaches them that you can't have everything you want no matter how much you want it.  No matter much you think you deserve it.  Not hearing "no" breeds entitlement.  Why do you think people like the Donald Trump feel as if they can "grab" what they want?  It's not his money that makes him a jerk.  It's not learning restraint that makes him one.

And the only adults worse than those who can't accept "no" are the parents who are afraid to say the word "no".  You cannot be your child's friend.  I've encountered so many parents who allow their children to run their households.  I know a kid who is in elementary school with an 11 PM bedtime on a school night because her mother wouldn't "make" him go to bed.  Or a set of parents I know who are basically a taxi service for their daughter who participates in almost every existing activity there is.  She plays soccer, she's a cheerleader, a gymnast, and a girl scout.  Her dad complains all of the time that he and his wife don't even have time for basic things, but neither of them wants to "disappoint" their little lady.

SMH.

I'm not a parent.  Because of that, people tend to dismiss what I say when it comes to parenting.  However, getting / getting someone pregnant doesn't make one an expert either.  Parenting skills come from paying attention.

It's true that experience is the best teacher, but who says that it has to be your experience?

A Reason Why My Father is So Great

My father has always been one of my many role models in life.  He's the reason that I have a generous nature and that I always try to think about other people.  Regardless if they deserve it or not.

He's always been a helpful guy.  People in the neighborhood still come to him to this day when they need something.  Maybe something is wrong with their car or they need a ride to work.  He's always willing to help and all he asks for in return is a sincere "thank you".

Those things are well and good, but it's the little things that makes him so great in my eyes.  I remember once when he was driving home from somewhere late at night.  Maybe it was a trip home from Chicago or somewhere far off, but there was a car in front of him that occasionally veered out of its lane.

My father recognized that the person driving the vehicle was sleepy and had difficulties paying attention to the road.  So, instead of passing him like most people would and leaving the man to fend for himself, my father did something unexpected:  he aggressively blew his car horn at the man.

The drive immediately corrected himself and returned back into the lane.

After 5 or 6 more minutes, the car veered to the right once again and my father blew his horn to get his attention.  Every time it appeared that the man was going to sleep, my father would blow his horn to wake him.  He did that for at least 10-15 miles!  Even though the man was going slower than the speed limit, probably due to fatigue, my father hung in there with him and made sure he stayed awake.

Finally, the man reached his exit and left the highway.  As he was exiting the road, he rolled down his window and waved his hand at my father as he drove by.  He recognized what my father did for him and showed his appreciation for it by acknowledging him.

My father won't get any type of medal or recognition for what he did.  He's a believer that you always do the right thing and try to help people even when no one is looking.  That's how you know you're a good person.  But, he did gain something that evening: my admiration and my desire to be just as thoughtful as he is.

Why Is Sex No Longer Sacred?

I was watching the "Amber Rose Show" just recently.  In all honesty, I was watching the show for all of the wrong reasons.  I just think that Amber Rose is smoking hot, so I decided to tune in.  But the show was so awful that I know that I won't be watching it again.

The entire show was basically Amber Rose asking women questions about sex.  Women were disclosing everything from how many side dudes they've had to being on top during sex.  Some people call it "women empowerment" and other people call it "women being promiscuous".  Whatever you want to call it is totally dependent on your upbringing.

As for my upbringing, I was taught that sex was something sacred.  You didn't share what you did with everyone.  It was deemed disrespectful to your partner to discuss your sexual experiences with them to someone else.

Fast forward to today and everyone is doing it.  People are getting on TV, radio, and social media and discussing their sex lives like they're talking about their day at work or something.  I watched Amber Rose talk about sex for her entire show except for the last segment (which was only a couple of minutes long).  She "interviewed" rapper, T.I., and asked him his favorite sex position, the craziest place he's had sex, and if he masturbated.

I was thinking to myself, "how in the world are kids going to not be teen parents if all they see on TV is how much fun sex is?"

I guarantee you that there are a ton of kids under 18 years old watching Amber's show and shows like hers.  It's not like parents pay attention to what their children watch.  A ton of the girls watching probably want to be Amber Rose and a ton of boys want a girl like her.  She has a glamorous lifestyle and makes a lot of money for basically doing nothing truly talented.  Who wouldn't want that life?

But, back to the topic... Sex isn't sacred any more.  People will tell you all of their business without any thoughts to how you feel about it or how their partner would feel if they found out.  And if you feel awkward discussing it with them, then you're looked at as someone abnormal.  A conversation that may have been reserved to close friends and siblings is now something you can get from a coworker you barely know.

In roughly 30 years, the United States has done a 180 degree turn around in morals.  Sex is "empowering" and not something kept private.  Cursing is simply just talking and not something done out of the public's earshot.  Being reckless with your life is no longer scolded, but it is praised by everyone for you "expressing yourself" (and sometimes rewarded with money and fame).

Nothing is sacred any more.  TV has dumbed down in 30 years what took hundreds of years to create.  The end result is me watching Amber Rose ask a woman if she has a side dude (actually, "dude" wasn't the d-word that she used) and this young lady must have named 10+ guys.  She was applauded for it.

To each their own, I guess.  It makes me wonder what conversations are parents having in households across the U.S. with their children?  Is this type of thing even being discussed?  Based on what I'm seeing on TV, it is being discussed.  Just by celebrities instead of parents.

Black People Just Need to Focus

Black parents need to teach their kids not just how to survive, but how to thrive.

I come across a lot of Facebook videos over the course of a day, but one recent clip I came across really stuck with me.  It was a video of three black men sitting around a tree discussing why black people have difficulties succeeding.

To hear them break down the plight of my race seemed basic.  How can our problems seem so simple, yet take such a Herculean effort to attempt to correct?  One guy in particular spoke so many truths that I couldn't keep up.  It made me wonder why we don't seem to be able to have the success that other races have.  Whites had a head start, so I won't compare blacks to them.  But Asians, Indians, Middle Eastern, and other races are arriving to this country after us and are transitioning quite well in some cases.

Why is it that black people appear to be stuck in the mud?

Then I heard it in the video.  The mention of the word "wealth."  So many of us black people have spent most of our adult lives wanting to be "rich" because no one taught us how to focus on being "wealthy."  There's a difference.  We need to teach our kids how to leave something behind other than a burial debt owed to the funeral home.

Is it the YOLO life style that keeps us focused on today and not tomorrow?  To a certain extent, it is, but there's more to it than that.  Black families just simply need to focus and teach.  That's all.  It's that simple, but we just won't do it.  Some of us would rather be seen in public than heard by our children.  Think about that.  So many black people would rather spend their time entertaining themselves than raising their children.

How do we fix it?  In my opinion, it starts with the men.  We're the key to all of it.  It's not to say that women don't contribute, because they do in a mighty way.  But black men are the starting points to the success of black people.  We need to teach our sons how to handle their business.  We need to teach them that there's a time and a place for everything!  You can have fun like a baller and still be a financially stable child of God in the process.

But it takes FOCUS!

Keep your eye on the prize!  Don't let a pair of $200 shoes cause you to ignore your power bill.  Don't let a disagreement with the mother of your kid prevent you from being a father to your child.  Don't let something as trendy as tattoos affect your earning potential in the workplace.  Focus!

Black people spend more money on fashion and entertainment than probably any other race, but what do we have to show for it?  When you die, what will you leave your children?  Nikes?  Bottles of Ciroc?  What?

You deal with life just like you deal with emergencies: make sure that your loved ones are safe first and then take care of yourself.

• Make sure that you have life insurance and plenty of it.  A lot of millionaires came up on what their parents left them in life insurance policies. 

• Make an effort to own property if given the opportunity to invest.  It's one of the best legacies that you can ever leave your child. 

• Lastly, and it's probably the most important: make sure you condition your child's mind to do the same for their children.

The difference between black culture and other cultures is that we don't always prepare our kids properly.  Black parents need to teach their kids not just how to survive, but how to thrive.  We get so caught up in day-to-day, check-to-check things that we fail to teach our kids that they can do better than what we did.  We owe it to them to give them a little boost when possible.  Leave them with something to build upon so they can leave that and more for their children.

Don't send your kids into the world without a weapon.  Arm them with knowledge and opportunity by focusing on their futures.  Only then will your job as a parent be complete.

A Provider and A Protector

Father's Day has come and gone and my dad just celebrated his 74th birthday.  I'm so thankful for the positive influences that he's had on my life.  I firmly believe that my father was put on this earth for two things.  And those two things are all he's done his entire life. He seems to only get enjoyment out of seeing everything and everyone taken care of. Well, I take that back. He also gets enjoyment out of his occasional afternoon naps.
However, his main purposes in life is to be a provider and a protector. Is that old school way of thinking dead to us now?

I remember when I was in 1st grade and my mom would wake me up for school, I'd hear my father walking through the house and getting ready for work. He didn't have to be there until 7 AM, but he was usually out of the house shortly after 6 AM despite it only being a 15 minute drive. He didn't believe in being late for anything. He would take cold cuts and crackers for his lunch because he didn't require much. He brought his paycheck home to my mom to take care of the household and kept very little for himself. He only needed gas for his truck and enough to buy something to eat to hold him over until dinner time.

After working in a factory from 7 AM - 4 PM, I can remember hearing his truck driving across the railroad tracks as he entered the neighborhood. Our dogs would start barking because they knew the sound of his truck. They also knew that it was time for them to eat as well. My older brother and I would be sitting on the floor doing homework or watching cartoons by the time he got home. He would sometimes come into the house, drop his keys on the couch near the door and would just start dancing. My father's dancing style was (and still is) very similar to a one "George Jefferson" from the popular 70's sitcom "The Jeffersons." As he would dance, he would say, "Work it out, Pop!" I'm not sure where that saying came from, but it ultimately became the reason my brother and I have called him "Pop" for as long as we can remember.

After his performance, I would grab my shoes while he was taking time to greet my mom. She was usually putting the finishing touches on dinner when he got home. If she had to work late then my grandmother (on my mom's side) would be finishing up dinner for all of us. Before settling down to eat, Pop would go back outside to feed the dogs and I was right behind him as he walked out of the house. After a long day of work, he could have easily gotten fed up with a 6 year old following his every movement. In fact, that's kind of how I got the childhood nickname "Shadow."

But he never ran me off. I'd watch him feed the dogs and refill their water dishes. Afterwards, he would do one of many things that may have been needed around the house from changing the oil in the vehicles to working in my grandmother's garden where she grew vegetables year around. Despite a day that started out at 6 AM, Pop would work until it got dark outside on most days. His reward? A full stomach from a delicious dinner and watching TV until after the news went off.

He did this for 20+ years for sometimes six days a week. Going to work for Challenger Electric/GTE wasn't Pop's job. Being "Pop" was his job. And he took it seriously.

But he was (and still is) more than just "Pop". He is also "Uncle Leroy" or "Mr. Leroy" to kids in the neighborhood. Everyone in the neighborhood knows my father. He's the one who will give you a popsicle in the summertime when you're a good kid, but will also chastise you for being a disrespectful kid. You have to say "yes or no, sir" when addressing him. You have to say "thank you" when receiving something from him. Any sign of disrespect will pretty much get you banned from the property regardless of your age.

Pop believes in a natural order to things and that includes a kid knowing his/her place. Step out of line around adults and you'll quickly get reminded that you are a kid. Another thing that makes Pop an icon in the neighborhood is that despite his generosity and willingness to help, he has a temper. Not necessarily a fly-off-the-handle type of temper, but a temper nonetheless. His tolerance for foolishness is extremely low.  He does not tolerate anyone messing with his family.

My brother and I took different paths from a lot of the other kids in my neighborhood. My neighborhood has turned out drug dealers, rapists, and even a murderer or two. But, none of those guys every brought that mess to our house. Because they knew what Pop would do to them if they did anything to negatively influence or harm me or my brother. No police force would be able to stop him from getting to that person. He made that known to the small-time criminals who were once my friends that they were no longer welcomed at our house.

I once thought that they developed other interests and stopped coming around because of that, but as I got into my teens I realized that they stopped coming around because of Pop. They knew that if they attempted to get me ormy brother caught up in their lifestyles that Pop would come after them. However, he didn't just want to save me and my brother from that element, he also wanted to save them as well. I remember as a 10 year old that a friend of mine from around the corner came by to play. He'd recently gotten in trouble for stealing a pair of skates from the nearby skating rink. Pop was aware of the incident and when he came home from work and saw us outside playing he was upset with the boy. He asked him if he stole the skates and the boy admitted that he did. Pop scolded him about stealing and gave him a firm lecture while I watched uncomfortably. He told him how thieves ended up in jail or shot while trying to take someone's property. He told him that he needed to get his life together, but until then, thieves weren't welcomed in his yard.  The boy left and ultimately never came back. He eventually got sent to prison a couple of years later and someone killed him in jail when he was in his late teens.

So, the bad elements simply stayed away from our house and my friends eventually changed. The guys that he couldn't talk any sense into got older, but they never lost respect for Pop. Many houses got broken into in our neighborhood, but never ours. Many kids got "jumped" by so-called "gang members," but never me or my brother. Many arugments and fights took place in my neighborhood, but they were never in front of our house.

At 74 years old, Pop is still the same as he was when I was a kid. He's a taxi for my 92 year old grandmother (mom's side) to make sure she makes it to all of doctor's appointments and to church. He's always the one that people in the neighborhood call when they have car trouble. He's the one that a 3rd generation of kids refer to as "Uncle Leroy" when they want a popsicle on a hot day. And despite living by himself, when he's away from home for long periods of time, nearby neighbors (some with criminal records) watch his home to ensure that nothing happens to it.

My father has his flaws and he's far from perfect. Like many of us, he's made some mistakes in his life that he undoubtedly regrets. But, although I am self-sufficient and living my own life just a few miles away from the old neighborhood, he would be there if I ever needed him for anything. He's still a provider and a protector. It's what keeps him going. And even at 43 years old, I'm still hoping to be just like my Pop.

Thank God for Mothers

I lost my mom on June 5th, 2012. She was 69 years old. I remember leaving the hospital room with an empty feeling. I didn't know what to do. I felt as if I should accompany the body to the morgue because I didn't want to leave her alone.  I remember how distraught that I was at the funeral and how it hit me that I would never hear her call my name again.

But, like most things in life, you get stronger as time passes. Now almost three years later I don't have the same outlook on her passing. I smile with pride every time I hear any mention of her because I know that I was lucky to have her as a mother. A majority of us should feel the same way. 

Fortunately enough for me I had the opportunity to enjoy my mom for 40 years before she was called home. That's a lot more than some people can say. For that I am thankful. There are a lot of people who didn't get much time with their mom for whatever reason and I realize that.

I thank God every night for my mom because of her influence in making me who I am today. She did what any good parent should do: taught me right from wrong and she taught me how to be a leader and not a follower.

I miss going over to my parents house on Mother's Day to give her a card.  I miss taking her to breakfast the Saturday before Mother's Day.  I miss giving her a hug when I walked in her kitchen.  She's gone, but she's definitely not forgotten.

To all of you who still have your mothers, remember that you only get one.  Maximize the time that you have with her and hug her as often as you can.

"There is nothing more special in life than someone who can give it." -Q

All About Self

The mindset of this country has shifted so much over the past few years.  Everyone is not only out for self, but they're only focused on self.  Why do I walk through life feeling as if I'm one of few people who actually cares about others?  Here it is Christmas Day and I'm doing a blog post on exactly the opposite of what today means.  I witnessed countless examples of selfishness on yesterday just from a trip to a store to get a last-second gift for someone.

I can't figure it out for the life of me.  On a daily basis I see so many examples of people being consumed with their own little worlds without giving one thought to the fact that others live in it.  An example of that is a Christmas card that I received from a friend of mine.  I received it on Monday and I called her that evening to thank her for the card.  She told me that she sent five cards to people and that I was the only one who called to thank her.  She said another person did send a text, but she's heard nothing from the others.

Most people don't send cards any more, so you would think someone who puts forth an effort would at least get a call to say "thanks."  Not these days.  Maybe if the card contained a gift card would someone feel more grateful, but not for a card that only contains seasons greetings.

Why is it so hard to say "thank you" for someone's efforts?  Kids are obviously not being taught to appreciate the efforts of others because their (Gen X) parents don't seem to know any better.  Wait.  I take that back.  They know better.  They just don't care.

I'm a giver.  That's just part of my nature.  I've even been criticized for it (by selfish people, of course).  From being cordial to ex-girlfriends to loaning $5 to someone who already owes me $10.  I've been called out for showing compassion for others.  By no means am I a sucker, but I choose to do things on a case-by-case basis.  And I will continue to do so despite the chirping of a few miserable people who wonder how I continue to give and keep smiling in the process.

I have extremely tough skin so the criticism doesn't bother me.  I actually think that it's sad people criticize someone for doing something for others.  It's also sad that people think that you can't do something for someone without expecting something in return other than a "thank you."  Do it because you want to be helpful.  Not because you have expectations of a return on your "investment."  A "thank you" should be payment enough.

This country is slowly imploding.  The media is working double-time to create a war between minorities and the police.  Politicians perpetuate fights between members of the middle class.  We slowly piss off every country overseas from invading their country to making comedy movies about their leaders.  All of this could be avoided if people simply considered others before speaking or doing.

But, nope.  We're all about self.  So, as I wish everyone a Merry Christmas, I will leave you with this thought: starting today I want you to do something nice for someone "just because."  I challenge you to make at least one person smile every day.  If they looked surprised when you make a gesture then don't be alarmed by it.  I often find that people are confused by acts of kindness because good deeds are not expected without strings attached.  I've even had people question me on why I did something for them as if they weren't worthy of it or maybe I was up to something.  That's sad.

Mother Teresa most famously said, 

"People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. 

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. 

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway. 

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway. 

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway. 

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway. 

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway. 

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."

Nothing is Sacred. Not Even Death.

Maya Angelou, 1928 - 2014

Remember when there were certain things you didn't do simply because you were taught to respect it? Yeah, some of you probably don't. My generation is the blame for that. My generation is the one that decided to let kids raise themselves. We are the generation that decided that schools should be solely responsible for teaching our kids because we're too tired. We give them smartphones/tablets to allow kids to be in their own world because we don't want them disrupting ours.

Because of that, nothing is sacred.

To let you get an idea of how far our level of respect for almost anything has declined, I'll use the following example that most kids born 1975 and earlier (especially minorities) may be familiar with: in my house when I was a child we had furniture in a certain room that we were not allowed to use. There was a couch in the living room that my parents said was for "company only." I wasn't even allowed in the room without a good reason. That couch was deemed sacred and I don't recall ever setting my butt on it before it got older and was given away to a needy family. I respected it because my parents taught me to respect it. Regardless of how silly it may have been it taught me something.  It taught me restraint.  It taught me to respect something that was not necessarily important to my life simply because someone else had an appreciation for it.

Over time and due to the lack of actual parenting, more things have lost its sacredness. Elders are no longer respected. Presidents are no longer respected. Religions are no longer respected. But, the one thing that I always thought would remain sacred can be added to that list: speaking ill or making fun of the dead.

At one time people only felt comfortable with criticizing or insulting the dead based on either how long ago the person died (hence the phrase "too soon?") or if the person died doing something illegal or stupid (Darwin Awards). Now there are no moral restrictions on insulting or criticizing any one regardless of when they died, cause of death, or even the stature of the person who died.

Today I read quite a few disrespectful memes and jokes on the death of author / motivational speaker, Maya Angelou. I even came across a columnist who trashed Maya Angelou as a person on a blog site.

As a blogger, I can't tell people not to have an opinion simply because it differs from mine. I want people to speak their minds because some things just need to be said. But, why just hours after her death? Why post jokes almost immediately? Why demonize her (or anyone else for that matter) when the grieving has just started?

I'll tell you why: because it's more satisfying (to some) to be funny and/or popular than it is respectful.

Social media entices people to do things that will make other people take notice. All of us with strong opinions push the envelope or cross the line at some point. I've crossed the line myself on many topics, I'm sure. Maybe not maliciously, but it's still crossing the line to get a reader's attention.

But I never posted a meme or a blog post insulting or criticizing someone who died. Because to me that would be the equivalent of putting muddy shoes on my mom's couch in that living room I mentioned earlier.  There are still some things in this world that I will deem as "sacred" even if no one else will.  And a person's death is one of them.

What do you think about the level of disrespect you see online all for the sake of being funny/popular?

CPS Investigates Will & Jada #Parenting

As seen on IG

Will and Jada are under investigation by child protective services?  Who would have guessed it?  Actually, as sarcastic as I'm being with that statement, I didn't actually expect it.  Mainly because I don't expect anything along the lines of discipline when it comes to celebrities.

Will and Jada give their children the freedom to choose.  Some people actually think that it's good parenting, but I think that a majority of people don't like it.  Regardless, they have the right to do whatever it is they want to do (or don't want to do) when it comes to their kids.  Well, at least until Child Protective Services shows up.  They tend to frown upon 13 year olds laying in bed with shirtless 20 year olds.

There have countless incidents that have made people buzz on Twitter and ask the question, "what are Will and Jada doing?"  Personally, I don't know, but it's not the way that I would consider raising my kids if I had any.

There's a reason that people have to be a certain age to do things like drive, vote, enlist in the military, drink, or even get a hotel room or a rental car.  It's because with age comes maturity.  Sure, some kids mature faster than others, but realistically, you really don't see the real world until you're out of your parents home and supporting yourself.  That's when adult life lessons begin.

The Smith Kids, Willow and Jaden, are probably bright and worldly kids.  But, they are still kids.  Despite the fact that they've made more money than me in their young lives doesn't make them smart.  It makes them fortunate enough to have rich and connected parents to go with that budding talent.

I hope for the best as far as the outcome of the CPS investigation, but I also hope that it's a wake up call for Will and Jada.  Parent your kids like you want, but keep that stuff in-house.  Don't let Instagram be the undoing of your household.  That would just be plain stupid.

Oh, yeah, and to the guy, Moises Arias, in the photo with Willow: you may get a knock at your door, too.  Not from CPS, but from COPS.  They frown upon 13 year olds laying in bed with shirtless 20 year olds, too.  "17 will get you 20," but 13, dude?

Do you believe that kids should have free will to make their own decisions?

Garbage In. Garbage Out.

What do you consume on a regular basis?

I don't mean food.  I mean content.

TV.  Music.  Internet.

What does a typical day consist of in your world?

I was watching Real Time with Bill Maher the other day and he made a great point in which I'd never considered.  I can go to Yahoo! right now and pull up my home page.  If you went to Yahoo! at the same exact time, what comes up on your screen is going to be different than what comes up on mine.

Your computer personalizes what you see based on the sites that you visit.  Also, a lot of sites allow you to customize what you see.  Mix in the fact that newspapers are dying a slow death and you're left with millions of people in this country getting random information.  This is probably why so many people haven't heard of certain news stories when you mention it to them.  It probably wasn't on their customized feed.

Let's look at how this affects young people.  The average college student probably doesn't read the newspaper or watch local news.  When you consider their electronic gadget options then more than likely their homepage consists of Vine videos, Facebook status updates, tweets and entertainment news (oxymoron).

It's safe to say that a lot of young people in this country go days or even weeks without seeing a news story.  Instead their mind is constantly consuming only what they wish to view which is normally related to entertainment or social networking.  With days upon days of reality show fight clips, viral videos and Instagram Likes a person's brain essentially dumbs itself down (or never grows).

How can a person possibly expect to be a part of the outside world if they don't even live in it?

If you constantly consume garbage then that is what will constantly come out of your mouth when you speak.  It's also going to be all that you know and understand and you will not fit into some places in society because of it.  A person doesn't read Spanish and speak French.  That's not how your mind works.  What you put into it is all that you can get out of it.

There has to be a balance.  You have to get some good to offset the bad.  I love the NFL, but I have enough diversity in my life to prevent it from being all that I know.  If I go to a party, I don't have to sit around and wait for someone to bring up football just to join the discussion.  As you can see from my blog, I have the ability to discuss almost anything.

If you don't have balance then customizing your homepage or personalizing your phone can pretty much make you stupid.  If it's only garbage going in, then you can rest assure that it will only be garbage coming out.

Have you ever met a person who knows absolutely nothing about anything important?

Where is Your Work Ethic?

I'm no longer the ball of energy that I once was in my 20's.  When I was 27 years old, I had a full-time job and two part-time jobs.  All of them were Monday through Friday.  So, I got up at 430 AM each day and usually made it home around 1030 PM or midnight depending on the day of the week.  I worked that crazy schedule for a year to pay off credit card debt as well as have some spending cash for partying.  I had at least two jobs from 1997 until 2006.  I wanted to eliminate debt and stockpile a savings so that when I got older life would be easier.  I knew that it was hard work, but I was willing to do it to better myself  and better my position. A lot of people don't have the same mindset these days...

Today, people want things the easy way.  They're not always willing to sacrifice their time and energy to better themselves.  They essentially want "something for nothing."  Well, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand why this is the norm now.  It's now the norm because people are able to do just that.  Get "something for nothing."

We see it with our children.  Kids have electronics that cost parents thousands per year and for what?  Well, we parents say it's for their safety.  "Little Johnny needs to be able to call home."  To me, that's translation for: "his friend has an iPhone, so we have to get him one so that he doesn't feel bad."

We see it in adults.  Guys don't have to display much chivalry and/or class to get sex from a woman now.  Why?  Because there are so many thirsty women who have little-to-no requirements to give it up.  Would you work for something that's being thrown at you?  "Yes, Johnny does cheat and sell drugs, but he can change if he becomes a father."  Translation: "I don't think that I can do any better than him."

SMH.  But, it all starts with the children.  Because today's children are tomorrow's adults, so if you fix the kids then the rest will fix itself.  Make them earn what they get.  Make them get good grades.  Make them do chores.  Make them respect themselves so that they may learn to respect others and we can nip this thing in the bud.

America needs to put a hard hat and some work boots on more than any other country right now.  Stop allowing this laziness to go on when you have the power to fix it yourself.

Are you ashamed at how lazy we've become in society?

You're Too Young for A Boyfriend!

There's a reason why God never blessed me with kids.  Especially a daughter.  I guess there's also a reason I don't have a sister.  Especially a little sister.  Why?  Because I'm way too overprotective.  Waaayyyyy too overprotective...

Look, I realize that I have a problem which is the first step to correcting it.  I'll even go as far to say that I'm not as bad as I once was.  However, I still think that kids need to be kids and focus on that grown up stuff later in life.

This weekend I really wanted to see my god kids.  I try to make it a point these days to spend some time with them at least once a month, but because I was transitioning to a new job, my schedule has been crazy as of late.  So, I took advantage of some free time and decided to spend the day with them.  My god son is 11 and my god daughter is 7.

We decide to get breakfast at Cracker Barrel and although I don't remember how the subject came up, my god son mentioned to me that his little sister had a boyfriend.  Of course, I thought that it was a joke, so I just laughed.  Then my god daughter said, "No, I have two boyfriends."

Two?  As in 1+1?  Wait.  Surely she means SpongeBob and Big Bird, right?  Oh, how I wish that were true.  No, she meant some boy in her school and some kid who used to be in her school who now lives in Nashville.  I really didn't know what to say.  The girl who I wanted to stay single until at least 38 years old actually uses the term "boyfriend"?  I wasn't ready.  I thought that I had another five years at least.  I guess that's not how this new generation works.

So, instead of alienating her in the future I'll have to adapt.  I'll have to be more accepting of the fact that kids are doing things 10x faster than when I was their age.  I'll still keep a close eye, but I won't go 'Liam Neeson' on a dude for trying to get her phone number.

I think I passed my first test on yesterday when I attended a birthday party.  My lady's daughter recently turned 14 and she had a gathering at a local restaurant to celebrate with her friends.  One of her friends is a boy who I was told happened to be her ex-boyfriend.  Well, now this ex is her "best friend" which could mean anything coming from a teen.  But, I didn't give the boy the "Al Bundy treatment" or anything.  I was cordial with him and through a brief conversation discovered that I actually kind of liked the kid.

That is until he shows up in the near future at some other event.  Yes, my protectiveness extends to my lady's kids, too.  Despite the lack of matching DNA, I treat them as my own.  As for my god daughter, I know her father will keep an eye on her, so I'll just continue to play my role as godfather and report to him when necessary.  The one thing that I do feel comfortable about is that when my god daughter saw a James Bond poster in my man cave from the movie, "Dr. No," she described a woman on the poster as "nasty" and "naked."

Ah, how refreshing to know that there's still some innocence left!  "That's right, pumpkin.  That woman is 'nasty' for wearing that." (smirks)

What do you think is a reasonable age for the average child to start dating?