Thank God for Growth!

I started this blog over a decade ago.  Every now and then, I'll go back and read some of my older posts just.  Sometimes I find myself laughing at loud at a story that I barely remember today.  Other times, I smack myself in the head and say, "What were you thinking?".

So many things that I believed years ago I don't believe now.  And even if I do believe in them, I now have a different approach to it.

I've always tried to take an old school approach when it came to solving problems in society.  I still believe that approach can work more times than not.  But some of the things I said in previous posts were harsh and therefore rendered ineffective because I was trying to enforce an old school approach in a new school society.  That tends to make things worse.

Thankfully, I now understand that finger-pointing is no longer the way to instill accountability.  Even if it's true, it doesn't make it helpful to people to get it thrown in their faces.  I've learned to take a different approach to things.  As much as I hate sugar-coating the truth, it's simply something we have to do in today's fragile society.  And I can't take back anything I posted years ago, but I can atone for them with a changed approach.

It's amazing how a person's mindset can change simply by continuing to live.  Of course, it takes an open mind, but it can be done if people allow it to happen.  I'm glad that it happened to me.  13 years later this blog still exists and it continues to show the progress I've made as an individual.  

Thank God for growth and Happy 13th birthday to my blog.  I have a teen-ager now.

Back In My Day...

When I was a kid, I remember when my dad started many sentences with, "Back in my day...".  I also remember when I hit the point in my life when I started sentences the same way when talking to my god kids.

However, I feel differently about that than I once did.  

Because of the lack of technology, society evolved at a snail's pace 50+ years ago.  The only way to know what someone was doing in another region was via TV, radio, or word of mouth.  That meant a lot of traditions and pastimes stayed intact for a lot longer back then than it does today.  Thanks to the internet, a new trend can start all over the world in a matter of hours as opposed to decades.

My father's generation and the generations prior to it enjoyed fishing and hunting as kids because that was one of few recreational options they had at the time.  Fast forward to my generation and we also enjoyed those things, too.  Until they were replaced by computers, video games, shopping malls and music videos in the 80's.  For me, sitting in front of a computer for hours was the equivalent of my dad sitting on the bank of his favorite fishing hole all day.

As we mature, we want younger people to appreciate and embrace what we once did without taking into account that they deserve a chance to enjoy their pastimes just like we did.  We need to stop putting them down for going to establishments just to take selfies, the music they enjoy, or the fact that they can't function without a smart phone.  We're always going to think that our generation is better just as our parents think that theirs was.

As someone from Generation X, I'll always be thankful that...

• I got through hundreds of mall visits and 12 years of public school without fear of a mass shooting.
• I attended many concerts and comedy shows without fear of a viral infection.
• I got to slow dance in nightclubs.
• I was able to get away with a lot of knuckleheaded things because there weren't cell phone videos.

The list goes on.

Going forward, whenever one of my god kids tells me about something they enjoy doing, I'll refrain from saying "back in my day..." as if to dismiss their pastimes.  I'll save my stories for when I'm asked about it.  After all, they deserve to have their own memories to embrace just as I have mine.  And it's only a matter of time before they're also starting sentences with "Back in my day..."

Why Are Women Only Old Fashioned When It Comes to Dating?

There's a lady who has a crush on me.  The only reason I know this to be true is because her sister has told me so.  Although I don't feel that her and I are a match, I am honored that she feels the way that she does about me.  Guys like to feel wanted, too.

This lady and I have known each other for about 10 years.  We used to work together, but at that time I was married.  I'm guessing that's why she never gave any real hints that she was into me.  Fast forward to now with me being single and I've still yet to see any hints that she's into me.

She smiles when she sees me, laughs at my jokes, but that's about it.  A lot of ladies do that out of courtesy, if nothing else.  But I never get the impression from her that there's more there.

I'm never going to say anything to her about it because again, I don't think we're a match.  However, my whole curiosity behind her crush is: will she ever say anything or give a real hint?

Maybe her sister telling me was all some sort of her master plan, but shouldn't a lady do something to show that she likes a guy?  There's no serious eye contact with me, no touchy-feely, or crowding my personal space.  Nothing.

Instead, it's the same ol', same ol'.

In a country with so many single women looking for men, why are so many of them hush-hush on their feelings?

I probably know what you're thinking: "Well, Q, I'm old fashioned and I think that it's a man's job to pursue a woman."

I can understand that, but why are some women so up-to-date on everything else in the world, but always old fashioned when it comes to dating?

50 years ago, a lot of women didn't work.  50 years ago, a lot of women didn't go to college.  50 years ago, a lot of women didn't even own a car.

Fast forward to today and all of that has changed because women wanted to change their circumstances.  But, when you mention "dating" to a woman, she's "old fashioned".  That's the one thing from 50 years ago she decided to hold onto.  Why is that?

Because for most of them, it fits their purpose:

• If a woman is old fashioned, then she's not expected to "give hints" to a man that she's interested.  That also protects her from being rejected. 
• If a woman is old fashioned, then she's not expected to pick up the tab on a dinner date.  There are some women who are in "whole" relationships with guys and still won't pick up the tab every now and then.
• If a woman is old fashioned, then she may demand chivalry despite maybe lacking class herself.

In a nutshell, being old fashioned allows her to say "oh, I'm just a woman, so you need to do this for me" when it comes to relationships.  Yet, she's a man's equal when it comes to everything else.  And some women are running this mindset into the ground.

If we're going to be equals, then maybe we need to go back to the drawing board on this dating stuff and update some things.

Powdered Alcohol? #Palcohol

"Would you like a sprinkle of Cosmo with that, dear?"

Alcohol was a cool person's hobby at one time.  You can watch the classic movies and see the well-dressed man talking to a well-dressed woman at a bar.  He'd order her a drink and would light her cigarette.  The bartender would grab two bottles, mix the drinks into a glass and pour it "over the rocks."  The couple would sip their drinks and exchange numbers before he'd kiss her hand and call a cab for her.

That's how they got down in the 60's.  Fast-forward to 2014 and the scenario barely resembles itself.

A casually-dressed man talking to a casually-dressed woman at a bar.  He'd ask to buy her a drink, but he can't light a cigarette for her due to the no smoking ordinance.  The bartender would grab a Dasani bottled water and a Palcohol pack, mix the drink and powder into a glass and pour it "over the rocks."  The couple would sip their drinks and exchange Instagram Likes before he took her home, did her without a condom, and got her pregnant.

Wait.  Too much?

Anyway, I said all of that to talk about the new company called Palcohol.  Their newest contribution to society is powdered alcohol that comes in small packs.  Well, it's not necessarily new, but it is the first, to my knowledge, to be government-approved.  When you think about it, carrying "Kool-Aid packs" of vodka is a lot easier than a crate full of bottles.  This move that could take nightclubs by storm and save tons of money in shipping costs.

It also doesn't hurt that everything else is pretty much flavored now.  Flavored water, coffee, beer.  You name it and someone has added a spice or fruit to it.  This is the logical next step.  Some of the flavors include: Lemon Drop, Cosmopolitan, and Mojito.  It basically takes about 1/2 cup to equal one drink.  Just add water and stir.

Of course some idiot will probably snort the powder.  It will absorb immediately and will get them as high as giraffe booty, but I'm pretty sure it can harm you, too.  So, I would advise against it although I know there are minors waiting in line to try it as soon as the stuff is released in the stores.

Does mixing your martini with a swizzle stick take the "class" out of drinking for you?  After all, drinking is still a sophisticated act for some.  To most people in today's society it probably will not.  People don't necessarily drink to be cool any more.  They drink to get drunk.  They could care less if it's a bottle of Grey Goose poured into a classy glass or some powdered Mad Dog 20/20 mixed into a coffee thermos.

Does mixing your alcohol in a glass at the bar take the classiness out of drinking?

Hunters Cheat

"Hey, fellas!  It's an all-you-can-eat!"

I'm not a hunter.  I tried it as a youth, but it was never my thing.  I'd go out into the woods and fields with my father, uncle and brother to hunt "wascally wabbits."  I don't eat rabbit, so a food source wasn't my motivation.  I'm simply went to spend quality time with the men of the family.

My father and uncle taught me what to look for to find the rabbit and how to essentially stalk them.  I will admit that there was a thrill to it when you did eveything correctly and got an opportunity to bag one.  Those things are hard to spot and even more difficult to shoot.

Fast forward to today.  Hunting is just as popular as ever, if not more.  But, things are done a lot differently these days.  Now, I'm going to upset some hunters, but like the youngsters say," it is what it is."

Hunters cheat.  At least, the ones that I know do.  What used to be a complicated "man vs. animal" event has turned into "cheater vs. animal."  My father hunted from pretty much the age of 8 up until he was around 55 years old and he can tell you how many deer that he's killed on one hand.  Why is that?

Because back then, they never used bait, high-powered rifles and / or deer stands.

I have some friends who hunt and they kill three or four deer per season.  Per season!  Are they more skilled hunters than my father and his brothers were?  Absolutely not!

Modern day hunters usually have a favorite hunting spot in the woods where every other weekend during the off-season, they'll leave food for the deer.  This will get the deer familiar with the area and will have them come there on a regular basis to look for food.  During hunting season, the "hunters" will sit in their deer stand and train their high-powered scopes on the place where the deer come to feed.

LOL!  It's cheating! Would you brag about being "a great mouse slayer" because they took the cheese and got caught in a mouse trap?  You didn't "hunt" the mouse.  You lured it.

So, for those who brag about the huge buck that they bagged, I will listen, but I won't be impressed.  If you used any modern tactics in order to kill an animal that's not nearly as smart as humans, then I won't prop you up for that.

Does a person who uses bait, a stand and a high-powered rifle really deserve credit for killing a deer?

"Psst!!!!  Say, doe?  I know you hear me talking to you!  Trifling doe."

Why Madonna is Still The Baddest Chick

There are so many famous people in the world, but very few legends. In fact, I think people don't understand how to be a legend these days. Sure, they're a legend in their own minds, but to the eyes of others, they're just a passing fad. There is an art to being a legend and most of today's "celebs" don't have a clue of how to do it. They need to seek advice from some of the old school artists.

Madonna could probably easily out-draw any female performer because she's a rare act. That's right. If you want to know why Madonna is still the baddest chick in the game, it's because she's a recluse. Have you ever heard of the phrase, "you never miss a good thing until it's gone?"

Well, that applies to people like Madonna, Prince and at one time, Michael Jackson. The fact that they refused to saturate the media with their faces made them more appreciated when they did make an appearance. That's not the case with some modern-day celebs. They try to get their face in every magazine or in front of every camera that they can. I realize that there are cell cams galore these days, but don't think some of these celebs don't seek them out.  I think that the younger generation of  fans has more patience with that, but for older guys like me, it drives me nuts. If I see/hear you every time I turn on my TV/radio, then I will get sick of you.

I hate hearing Lil' Wayne and Nicki Minaj on every single song that comes on the radio. If you drive an hour in your car and don't hear Lil' Wayne's or Nicki Minajs' voice at least four times apiece, then you must be listening to a country or gospel station. They not only have their own albums, but they will also perform on other people's albums as well.

Would Madonna make regular cameo appearances on someone else's CD? Heck, no! She's Madonna! An icon. A legend. She wouldn't play "second fiddle" with anyone like today's celebs do. When she performed in the Super Bowl back in January, she was the main attraction. As big as a star Cee-Lo is in today's pop culture, he was simply a background singer when Madonna was on stage. Cee-Lo went from "The Voice" to just "a voice" when Madonna was on the scene. Why? Because she's a legend.

There are many famous singers, but very few legends. Mariah. Mick. Whitney. Bruce. Prince. Celine. Santana. Aretha. I'm pretty sure that most of you know who these people are without me even having to list their full names. Why?



Because legends don't need them.

Aw, Did I Hurt Your "Wittle" Feelings?

Back in the day, you actually had to insult someone and / or their family members in order to start an argument or a fight. These days, just disagreeing with someone can get the evil eye shot your way. That's right. Freedom of speech? Hmmph! Just your opinion can set someone off. The U.S. is so politically correct now that you can't even speak what you think is the truth.

This country is gone softer than a rain-soaked marshmellow in 100 degree weather.

What happened to having "tough skin?" What happened to "sticks and stones?" What happened to "agreeing to disagree?" I've seen "friends" on Twitter unfollow one another because of a disagreement about someone neither of them actually knew. Two ladies were going back and forth arguing about the music group, Maroon 5. One lady liked them, but the other one didn't think they were that talented of a group. The lady who liked them got so upset that M5 were being called "non-talented" that she blocked the other lady from her tweets.

Wait. What?

A) You're angrily defending someone you don't even know.
B) You're blocking someone on Twitter that you do know.
C) You're doing all of the above simply because someone disagrees with you.

Wow. How sad is your life? A person can't even disagree with someone now without some sort of retribution. This is the society that we live in today. I've had people unfollow my blog because of an opinion I had that may have hit too close to home for them. I've had other black people call me a "sellout" if I disagree with Obama on something. I had someone take a personal shot at me by calling me "old" because I made a comment about a young, talentless rapper. "Aw, did I hurt your wittle feelings when I said that Soulja Boy sucked?"

"Was it when I said that having seven kids by five guys may lead to the children being non-productive in life that caused a boo-boo on your ego?"

"Or was it me saying that if Troy Davis was as good-looking as Casey Anthony that he might still be alive today that stings you?"

Well, if that's the way things are going to be, then it's going to be a cold and lonely country 20 years from now. No one will ever talk to anyone else because eventually, they'll say something that disagrees with them. As for me, I'm going to keep on speaking my mind. It's what I do. Not out of malice, but out of disgust and concern.

And if it has absolutely nothing to do with you and / or your family, then to quote the youngsters: "Why you mad? Does the wittle baby need a cookie-wookie to turn that frown upside down?"

Corporal Punishment: Fair or Foul

By now, everyone has seen the incident at Murrah High School in my hometown of Jackson, MS. If you have not, then you can check it out for yourself from a local news station here or ESPN's story here.

Basically, a basketball coach "disciplines" his players in order to turn boys-to-men. He takes a weight belt and spanks them whenever they make mistakes. Not mistakes in life, but mistakes on the basketball court.

"I took it upon myself to save these young men from the destruction of self and what society has accepted and become silent to the issues our students are facing on a daily basis. I am deeply remorseful of my actions to help our students." -- Murrah coach Marlon Dorsey.

Corporal punishment has been outlawed in the Jackson Public School system for 20 years. Although I believe in discipline for kids, I personally think this is over-the-top. The fact that this guy is not whipping kids for being bad kids, he's doing it for not running a play correctly or missing a lay-ups. Is that not one of the most ridiculous things you have ever heard?

Everyone, locally, is speculating if the coach should keep his job or not, but I'm wondering what's keeping him out of jail. Isn't this an assault? Against a minor at that?

I guess I don't understand what should be controversial about this. He should be fired and put in jail, right? Should not this be cut-and-dry?

Continue the discussion here!