Monday, April 21, 2014

Powdered Alcohol? #Palcohol

"Would you like a sprinkle of Cosmo with that, dear?"
Alcohol was a cool person's hobby at one time.  You can watch the classic movies and see the well-dressed man talking to a well-dressed woman at a bar.  He'd order her a drink and would light her cigarette.  The bartender would grab two bottles, mix the drinks into a glass and pour it "over the rocks."  The couple would sip their drinks and exchange numbers before he'd kiss her hand and call a cab for her.

That's how they got down in the 60's.  Fast-forward to 2014 and the scenario barely resembles itself.

A casually-dressed man talking to a casually-dressed woman at a bar.  He'd ask to buy her a drink, but he can't light a cigarette for her due to the no smoking ordinance.  The bartender would grab a Dasani bottled water and a Palcohol pack, mix the drink and powder into a glass and pour it "over the rocks."  The couple would sip their drinks and exchange Instagram Likes before he took her home, did her without a condom, and got her pregnant.

Wait.  Too much?

Anyway, I said all of that to talk about the new company called Palcohol.  Their newest contribution to society is powdered alcohol that comes in small packs.  Well, it's not necessarily new, but it is the first, to my knowledge, to be government-approved.  When you think about it, carrying "Kool-Aid packs" of vodka is a lot easier than a crate full of bottles.  This move that could take nightclubs by storm and save tons of money in shipping costs.

It also doesn't hurt that everything else is pretty much flavored now.  Flavored water, coffee, beer.  You name it and someone has added a spice or fruit to it.  This is the logical next step.  Some of the flavors include: Lemon Drop, Cosmopolitan, and Mojito.  It basically takes about 1/2 cup to equal one drink.  Just add water and stir.

Of course some idiot will probably snort the powder.  It will absorb immediately and will get them as high as giraffe booty, but I'm pretty sure it can harm you, too.  So, I would advise against it although I know there are minors waiting in line to try it as soon as the stuff is released in the stores.

Does mixing your martini with a swizzle stick take the "class" out of drinking for you?  After all, drinking is still a sophisticated act for some.  To most people in today's society it probably will not.  People don't necessarily drink to be cool any more.  They drink to get drunk.  They could care less if it's a bottle of Grey Goose poured into a classy glass or some powdered Mad Dog 20/20 mixed into a coffee thermos.

Does mixing your alcohol in a glass at the bar take the classiness out of drinking?


  1. I thought the same exact thing--how long before the kids that are using vodka tampons and butt bonging beers start snorting this stuff...hell before it's melted and shot up? Plus can you imagine the lonely soccer moms who have their water bottles and their "baby formula" aka powdered martini? While it's a unique novelty it's only a matter of time before it's misused like any other substance. Then again no matter what it is some idiot will find a way to abuse it.

    1. True. Also, you have to worry that some nut will accidentally slip one in his/her 4th graders lunch box thinking it's a Kool-Aid pack. Imagine how that day at school will go!


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