Thursday, December 1, 2016

Hearing "No" Is Sometimes Helpful

As a 45-year old guy, I've heard the word "no" so many times in my life that it's not even funny.  I heard it from my parents.  I heard it from my teachers.  And I've definitely heard it from the opposite sex.

Despite all of that, I didn't die.  I was able to move on with my life and get past it.

Some "no's" came with an explanation.  Some came with a lie.  Some didn't come with anything after it at all.  Yet, I'm still here.

However, there are so many people in the world who are afraid to hear the word "no".  Why is that?

Is it parenting?  Because I've stated time-and-time again on this blog that 70's babies dropped the ball on parenting.  Especially in the black community.  We spend so much time trying to please our children that we fail to teach them anything.  "I want my kid to have the things that I didn't have."

But at what cost?  To the point that they don't know how to handle rejection?

Hearing the word "no" is the best thing for any child to hear.  It teaches them patience.  It teaches them restraint.  It teaches them that you can't have everything you want no matter how much you want it.  No matter much you think you deserve it.  Not hearing "no" breeds entitlement.  Why do you think people like the Donald Trump feel as if they can "grab" what they want?  It's not his money that makes him a jerk.  It's not learning restraint that makes him one.

And the only adults worse than those who can't accept "no" are the parents who are afraid to say the word "no".  You cannot be your child's friend.  I've encountered so many parents who allow their children to run their households.  I know a kid who is in elementary school with an 11 PM bedtime on a school night because her mother wouldn't "make" him go to bed.  Or a set of parents I know who are basically a taxi service for their daughter who participates in almost every existing activity there is.  She plays soccer, she's a cheerleader, a gymnast, and a girl scout.  Her dad complains all of the time that he and his wife don't even have time for basic things, but neither of them wants to "disappoint" their little lady.


I'm not a parent.  Because of that, people tend to dismiss what I say when it comes to parenting.  However, getting / getting someone pregnant doesn't make one an expert either.  Parenting skills come from paying attention.

It's true that experience is the best teacher, but who says that it has to be your experience?

Monday, November 28, 2016

Cheating Is The New Norm

I know a ton of people who cheat on their mates.  Loyalty in relationships is a thing of the past.  Gone like the dinosaur.  Done.  Cheating is accepted more worldwide than Visa cards today.  And at the pace that we're going, it's not going to change any time soon.

Let's start with the men.  Why do we cheat?  We cheat because of multiple reasons:  We cheat because we want something different sexually.  We cheat because our woman pissed us off that day.  We cheat because of peer pressure.  We cheat because our egos coerce us into wondering if we "still got it" or not.

However, we dudes get a pass.  There aren't too many guys in the U.S. who believe that their woman would leave them if they got caught cheating.  In fact, if I had to guess, I'd say that 8 out of 10 women would give him a second chance.  That's not scientific.  That's just my personal opinion.

What guy has an incentive to be loyal if he goes into a relationship thinking that he has "Get Out Of Jail Free" card?

Should guys cheat?  No.  Should women continue to take them back if they do?  No.  Once women stop that, then guys will slow down on the cheating.

As for the women, don't act like they don't cheat.  They cheat almost as much as the guys do.  At one point, women were very good at cheating, but now that's not the case in my opinion.  From social media blunders to physical tells, a guy only has to open his eyes and be unbiased to see it.

But, women don't normally cheat for the same reason that men do.  They usually cheat because they're looking to move on to someone that they think is better than what they have at home.  Maybe the guys isn't exciting enough and she craves a little more pizazz.  So, she'll go out and try to recruit something fresh and invigorating.

It's not uncommon for women to secure a new boo before dumping the old one.  After all, who wants to be alone, right?

Pay close attention when I say this: do not trust anything that anyone says.  Period.

People will woo you with words while their actions will drive a stake through your heart.  Don't fall for it.  Pay attention and if you find out that they're dishonest, then get out of the relationship cold turkey.  Don't drag it out or pray that it gets better because it won't.  You have no guarantees that a person will change, so why waste your time?

Actions will speak louder than words every time and these days I approach relationships with ear plugs and you should, too.  Don't care what they say, but only what they do.  Do they do what you say they're going to do?  If they do, then the two of you should get along just fine.  If they don't, then don't not waste time with them.  Just push on like Flintstone.  Because these folks are cheating out here in these streets.

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