Times Didn’t Change. People Did. And That’s the Problem.

“We live in different times now.”

That sentence gets tossed around like a moral hall pass. As if the calendar flipped and suddenly integrity expired. As if respect went out of style. As if accountability was a limited-time offer that quietly ended while everyone was distracted by trends, timelines, and hot takes.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: time doesn’t change morals. People do.

Why have values disappeared?

Values aren’t seasonal. They don’t evolve because an algorithm shifted or because public opinion found a new favorite thing. Right and wrong don’t need software updates. The standard didn't change, but the willingness to live up to it has.

Integrity still matters. Respect still matters. Accountability still matters.

They matter when it’s inconvenient. They matter when it costs you social standing. They matter when nobody’s clapping.

Values have been replaced with "vibes". Vibes feel good. Values hold firm. Vibes shift with the room. Values stand on its own. 

What happened to accountability?

Accountability is another casualty of the “times have changed” excuse. Everyone demands it for others, but almost no one wants it for themselves. Mistakes are reframed as misunderstandings. Bad behavior gets rebranded as growth. Apologies come with excuses and a reminder that criticizing them is somehow worse than what they did.

That’s not accountability. That’s public relations.

Does respect still exist?

And respect? Respect now gets confused with agreement. If you disagree, you’re a “hater.” If you question someone's opinion/idea, you’re “toxic.” If you don’t clap on cue, you're side-eyed. Somewhere along the way, respecting people turned into obeying narratives.

Healthy societies don’t work like that. Neither do strong individuals.

Here's the truth: Your character shines the brightest when you have something to lose.

When standing on principle means standing alone. When telling the truth risks backlash. When doing the right thing doesn’t come with applause.

Times didn’t change morals. They just exposed who had them—and who was borrowing them.

I know that I'm sometimes too nostalgic for the past, but I am also realistic about the present. 

Learn The Difference Between "Respectful" and "Fake"

In 2017, being respectful is going the way of the dinosaur.  People have no chill these days.  No respect for the elderly.  No respect for women and children.  No respect for themselves.  The way that we talk to people has to change.

At one time in society, people used to be aware of their audience before they spoke.  They chose their words wisely because they cared about their reputation and they didn't want to offend certain groups.  Men would not curse if women or kids around.  Now women curse just as much as men do now.  Kids do a healthy share of cursing, too.

I discussed that recently to someone (not a Millenial) who responded to me by saying "people who hold their tongues are 'fake'".

Yes, that's right.  People who choose their words around others are "fake" in her eyes.  She explained how everyone in her family curses freely around one another.  It doesn't matter the age, if you are in the room, then you may hear a curse word.  Just deal with it.  Not speaking freely is being fake?  That was the craziest thing I'd ever heard.  Why is showing restraint a bad thing?

Don't get me wrong.  What a person does in their home is their business.  But, some people do it no matter where they are.  At the grocery store, at restaurants, in other people's homes.

There's a time and a place for everything.  You don't drop f-bombs in your boss's office.  Why?
Because it's considered as being disrespectful in the workplace.  No one unleashes curse words when speaking to the preacher at church.  Why?  Because it's a sign of disrespect.  Or in her eyes, it's being fake, I guess.

So, why do people look at you sideways when you ask them not to curse in public?  Is it that hard not to curse?

We keep making excuses for doing what we want to do.  At some point in society, there will be no rules or standards.