Not in the U.S. Teaching boys to be men is almost a thing of the past. I blame my generation. We're so focused on trying to remain young that we won't take the time to be teachers. A lot of guys my age are competing with younger guys instead of educating them.
There are so many things that a boy should learn if he is to be a productive member of society:
It should start with your mother and extend into the community. All women are to be respected. Men should teach their boys that women are different. Don't talk to them like men. Don't handle them like men. Be kind and gentle to them. Never hit them (unless it's an extreme circumstance that can affect your health. Ex. she has a weapon.). Don't curse at them.
I know that there are some women out there who act like men, but most of them probably only built up that persona because of the way men treated them in the past. Be the guy who breaks that cycle by teaching your sons that women aren't to be abused in any shape, form, or fashion.
That's self-explanatory. If someone loans you something, then care for it as if it were yours and return it in the same condition. That can be anything from property to someone's emotions. Always teach others to build. Some of us guys are like tornadoes going through a nice town. Everything was perfect before we arrived. Teach boys to not be that guy. Take pride in keeping things up. It can be anything from keeping the lawn mowed at your home to getting litter out of the ditch in your neighborhood.
This almost no longer exists these days. With the sense of entitlement parents give kids now, it's a wonder that anything gets done in 2019. The concept of working should be instilled in boys at a very young age so they can take that to adulthood. Teach them to clean the house, take out the trash, mow the lawn, etc. Get them in the routine of those things. A man should have a purpose each day when he gets out of bed. A male without a purpose is worthless. Make having work to do his purpose. You must also not only promote hard work to boys, but teach them to have pride in their work, too. Don't half-do anything.
This is something we have forgotten to do in this country. We want to throw people away when they turn 40. That's why men should always teach boys to listen to older people. Learn from them. The best way to get a leg up on life is to talk to someone who has "been there and done that".
Give them tips on the many things that will help them be a better man. Life isn't a competition between the generations. Men shouldn't be competing with their younger counterparts. They should be teaching them how to be better than what they were at that age. Let the younger generation have it. We've had our time, so now let's teach them how to make the most of theirs and maybe in return they will appreciate spending more time with older people.
I don't mean sitting out on your porch with a gun. I mean doing what you can to keep bad elements from thriving in your neighborhood. If you reach boys at a young age then you don't have to worry about them robbing you at an older age. That means being a face in your community. Get to know your neighbors. Help them when they need it. Look out for their kids and keep them out of harm's way. Everyone wants to mind their own business these days and communities are suffering because of it. We need to get back to having a village mentality if we ever want to create a generation of men who give back.
This may be one of the most importants pieces to the puzzle. I know way too many guys who are reactionary. They wait for things to happen and then respond. Most of the time, the world is collapsing down on them before they can figure out what to do next. That's why it's important to teach boys how to think ahead. Educate him on how to forecast his life and use that to make his next decision. He needs to be taught how to save money, how to establish a career path, and how to plan his family.
This is one of the hardest things for people to do these days. So, how do you teach it? You start young. Give them chores to do and make sure that it's done properly. Establish rules and hold them to it. Teach boys that there are consequences for their actions. You must firmly instill a "your break it, you bought it mentality" if you expect them to not whine all of their adult lives when things don't go their way. A man should always be able to look himself in the mirror and admit when he's wrong. Saying "I apologize" does not make a person weak.
I'm sure that there are a ton of other things that I could have mentioned, but to all of the guys out there who have boys in their lives, please make sure that they grow up to be trustworthy, disciplined, compassionate, and a future role model for the boys they will encounter later in their lives.
Sadly so many boys do not have good male role models, my brother did in our dad and now he is to his son, my grandson who doesn't have a father does in his grandfather aka papa as well as his mum's best friend who is a male and a good hard working man.
ReplyDeleteIt's very important, Jo-Anne. People don't take it seriously any more and it's sad. A man should want to be a father to his son and a role model for others, but it's not something a lot of guys take pride in these days. Thanks for commenting!
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