Time Bandits

One thing that I hate to do is waste my time.  Time is the one thing they can't make more of in this world.  You only have what's allotted for you and to waste it on something not beneficial is somewhat tragic.

I've done many posts on the shortcomings of men, but this one is focused on the women.  If I had a dollar for every minute of time women have wasted of my life then I'd be typing this blog post on a gold keyboard with a diamond-encrusted mouse.

Some women are like bass pros: they'll get you on the hook, keep you on the line until they tire you out, pull you out of your comfort zone, show all of their friends what they caught, and then release you leaving you emotionally and physically drained (and sometimes financially).

It's made me change my entire approach to dating.  As much as I've always pushed for men to be chivalrous, my thoughts have changed tremendously about it.  It's not that I no longer believe in it.  It's just the evolution of today's society has encouraged me to take a different approach towards dating.  It may not apply to all, but to older guys still trying to find their way, it may help.

Here is some advice that I will give to the fellas over 30 years old:

If she's broke, then do no entertain her long-term.

It's one thing to fall on hard times, but it's another to constantly make bad decisions.  There are way too many women out there with new clothes and designer purses who constantly have a gas needle on "E".  You don't need someone who is going to bring you down.  Find your equal or better.  These women may be a good time short-term, but long-term will more than likely take you down through there.  Don't invest your time until you can determine if she's just always "living in the moment" or really "trying to get herself together".

Don't go overboard on a first date.

I met my current lady at a bar for drinks on our first date.  Nothing fancy.  We each had a drink and chatted over the course of an hour.  Cost me $14.  The purpose of the date was to get to know each other.  It wasn't for me to peacock it up and try to impress her.  It doesn't make any sense to spend a grip on someone you don't even know likes you yet.  There are some women who will "free meal" you.  They'll smile, laugh at your jokes, eat and drink good, and then fade into the sunset.  It's okay to invite her to coffee or cocktails on the first date.  If she objects and thinks that she deserves something bigger, then let some other dude do it.  Save your money for someone who genuinely wants to enjoy your company and not what you can do for them.  If she likes you, then she'll want to be around you no matter where you go.  Don't go overboard unless you've already established that she's truly interested in being with you. 

Be firm.

This is the good guy's Achilles heel.  Stand your ground.  If something doesn't feel right then speak up!  Bail out if you need to do so.  Don't waste your time putting up with someone who makes you unhappy.  It's so easy to feel as if you shouldn't let someone go because you've invested your time in them.  That evil nine-letter word "potential" will make you continue to remain involved with someone who is not good for you.  Try not to get caught up.  If you got that woman, then know that you can get another one who is maybe on the same page as you.  Or will at least attempt to be.  Never be afraid to walk out if your needs aren't met.

These are things that I've learned over the years.  They may sound simple, but we all need to get back to basics when it comes to dating.  The game has changed and not all women are looking for relationships out here.  Some are just looking for something to do.  Know the difference and approach accordingly.  It may save you some time.