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Friday, June 19, 2026

Why Is Race Such a Big Deal?

Babies are not born racist. Nobody comes out of the womb clutching a tiny sociology textbook screaming, “Protect the suburbs!” Infants do not care about skin color, accents, or whether someone seasons their food differently. They care about milk, sleep, and occasionally ruining a fresh diaper at the exact worst moment. Humanity really peaks early.

Prejudice is taught. Sometimes directly. Sometimes indirectly. Sometimes through little comments at the dinner table. Sometimes through television, schools, neighborhoods, politics, and who gets treated like a threat versus who gets treated like “a good kid who made a mistake.” Children absorb everything around them long before they understand it.

And in America, race is one of the biggest subjects constantly floating through the air. Other than money, there may not be another topic discussed more. Race shows up in politics, entertainment, education, policing, dating, hiring, housing, sports, and even something as ridiculous as who is “supposed” to listen to certain music. Human beings really took melanin levels and turned it into a full economic and social operating system. Incredible misuse of free time.

So why is race such a big deal?

Because race has always been useful to people in power.

That sentence makes people uncomfortable because many Americans want to believe racial division is just an unfortunate misunderstanding that keeps accidentally happening every generation like a software glitch nobody can patch. But division has benefits for certain groups. It keeps people distracted from larger economic problems. It keeps working-class people fighting each other instead of questioning systems that exploit everybody. It keeps political parties energized and donations flowing. Fear and resentment are profitable industries.

Politicians know this. Media companies know this. Corporations know this.

A divided population is easier to control than a united one.

If people are angry at each other over race nonstop, they are less likely to unite over wages, healthcare, housing costs, education, or corruption. That does not mean racism is fake or exaggerated. It means real racial tension is often manipulated and amplified because it serves political and financial interests.

Race also helps establish hierarchy in the United States.

America likes to describe itself as a class-based society where success determines status. That is partially true. Money absolutely matters. Wealth opens doors, creates influence, and changes how people are treated. But race still plays a major role in how people are perceived regardless of status.

A wealthy Black person can still experience racism from someone with far less money or social standing. Former President Barack Obama is probably the clearest modern example. Here was a man who became President of the United States twice, graduated from elite schools, built a successful career, and represented the highest office in the country. Yet there were still people who viewed him as inferior simply because he was Black.

Think about how irrational that is for a second.

A person can achieve the highest level of political success imaginable and still not fully escape racial hostility. That tells you race is not just about economics. It is psychological. Historical. Cultural. Emotional. It is tied to centuries of narratives about who belongs at the top and who does not.

The uncomfortable truth is that many people inherit racial assumptions without ever examining them. They may not wear white hoods or use slurs, but they still carry unconscious beliefs about intelligence, danger, beauty, professionalism, or worthiness. These ideas get reinforced constantly through media portrayals, historical inequalities, and social environments.

Meanwhile, regular people who have far more in common than they realize stay separated by suspicion.

A struggling white family and a struggling Black family often deal with many of the same issues: rising bills, unstable jobs, healthcare costs, stress, crime, and uncertainty about the future. But race can become the wedge that prevents solidarity. Instead of recognizing shared struggles, people are encouraged to see each other as competitors or threats.

That cycle keeps repeating because it benefits too many systems.

None of this means race should never be discussed. Ignoring history does not erase it. Pretending racism disappeared because some successful minorities exist is intellectually lazy. But constantly reducing people to racial categories creates another problem: it trains society to view race as the most important thing about everyone.

At some point, people have to decide whether they want progress or permanent division.

The irony is that most ordinary people are capable of getting along far better than politics and media would have everyone believe. Most people just want stability, respect, opportunity, and safety for their families. Not exactly radical ambitions. Yet the loudest voices often profit from conflict, so conflict stays center stage.

Race remains a big deal because America never fully resolved its racial history. It adapted around it. It commercialized it. It politicized it. And in many ways, it normalized division as part of everyday life.

That is a hard thing to admit in a country that loves to market itself as the land of unity while simultaneously turning outrage into prime-time entertainment. Humanity really said, “What if we built entire social systems around superficial differences?” and then acted shocked when things became complicated.

**Update: I got a comment so good that I had to add it to the post! Click on it to zoom and enjoy!



Tuesday, June 16, 2026

The Validation Trap

This is part five of a five-part series entitled "Cell Phones, Social Media, and the Quiet Depression Affecting Women". It's based on a series of discussions I've had with multiple women including my wife, some coworkers, and random servers at restaurants. The women's ages range from 20 - 53 years old. I'd love your feedback.

The Validation Trap

Many women now unconsciously measure worth through digital attention.

Likes become emotional rewards.
Views become self-esteem markers.
Replies become proof of desirability.

When validation becomes external, emotional stability becomes fragile.

A woman can post a photo feeling beautiful, then spiral emotionally because engagement was lower than expected. Another may become dependent on online attention because it temporarily fills emotional emptiness offline.

This creates a dangerous cycle where identity slowly becomes tied to public approval.

And public approval is one of the most unstable currencies on Earth.

I hope that you've enjoyed this series. And I thank the women who contributed to this. Most of them unknowingly did which is why I didn't list any names. Some of the women had an understanding of the impacts of their cell phones while others were the unknowing victims of theirs. This all transpired over general conversation across a 3-day period. 

The answer to all of this isn’t simply throwing phones away. Cell phones are tools. Social media itself is not automatically evil. The real issue is unregulated consumption and emotional dependence.

Women deserve spaces where they can exist without constant comparison. Without endless performance. Without feeling behind in life every five minutes.

Real peace usually returns through boundaries:

  • Putting phones down before bed
  • Limiting comparison-heavy content
  • Spending more time in real conversations
  • Protecting relationships from digital interference
  • Rebuilding hobbies and identity outside social media <-- super important!
  • Learning to value reality over presentation

Because the truth is simple: A peaceful life rarely looks viral.

The happiest moments are often the ones nobody posts.

And maybe the most radical thing a woman can do today is stop letting strangers on a screen define whether her own life is enough.

I have an upcoming series of how social media impacts the lives of men as well. Be sure to follow me to be alerted of when that will drop. 

And if you missed any of the previous parts of this series then try the links below!

Part 1: Comparison Is Quietly Destroying Peace

Part 2: Doom Scrolling Is Destroying Sleep

Part 3: Relationships Are Slowly Being Eroded

Part 4: Parenting Suffers, Too

Parenting Suffers, Too

This is part four of a five-part series entitled "Cell Phones, Social Media, and the Quiet Depression Affecting Women". It's based on a series of discussions I've had with multiple women including my wife, some coworkers, and random servers at restaurants. The women's ages range from 20 - 53 years old. I'd love your feedback.

Parenting Suffers, Too

Children notice distraction long before adults admit it.

Many mothers are physically present but mentally trapped inside their phones. Some are exhausted from late-night scrolling and enter the day emotionally depleted before parenting even begins.

Kids compete with notifications now.

A child trying to tell a story interrupts a scrolling session.
A family moment gets shortened because someone wants to check social media.
Attention spans weaken for both parents and children.

And there’s another issue people avoid discussing: children absorb emotional energy. If a mother constantly feels insecure, anxious, resentful, lonely, or emotionally overstimulated because of social media consumption, that atmosphere eventually touches the household.

Children don’t need perfect mothers. They need emotionally available ones.

Part 1: Comparison Is Quietly Destroying Peace

Part 2: Doom Scrolling Is Destroying Sleep

Part 3: Relationships Are Slowly Being Eroded

Part 5: The Validation Trap

Relationships Are Being Slowly Eroded

This is part three of a five-part series entitled "Cell Phones, Social Media, and the Quiet Depression Affecting Women". It's based on a series of discussions I've had with multiple women including my wife, some coworkers, and random servers at restaurants. The women's ages range from 20 - 53 years old. I'd love your feedback.

Relationships Are Being Slowly Eroded

Phones are changing modern relationships in subtle but devastating ways.

Couples can sit beside each other physically while emotionally living in separate digital worlds. Many women now spend more emotional energy consuming other people’s lives online than nurturing their own relationships offline.

Comparison also creates unrealistic expectations.

A woman constantly consuming “relationship content” may begin expecting her partner to become a therapist, motivational speaker, luxury provider, mind reader, comedian, and emotional healer all at once. Meanwhile, real relationships are messy, repetitive, ordinary, and imperfect.

Social media teaches performance, not partnership.

Even worse, algorithms aggressively push emotionally triggering content because outrage and insecurity keep people engaged longer. Women are repeatedly shown videos about cheating men, failed marriages, toxic relationships, and “high-value lifestyles.” Over time, this can create suspicion, dissatisfaction, and emotional distance even inside decent relationships.

A healthy man can begin feeling inadequate because he cannot compete with fantasy.
A healthy woman can begin feeling unloved because her life doesn’t resemble a curated feed.

The phone quietly becomes the third person in the relationship.

Part 1: Comparison Is Quietly Destroying Peace

Part 2: Doom Scrolling Is Destroying Sleep

Part 4: Parenting Suffers, Too


Doom Scrolling Is Destroying Sleep

This is part two of a five-part series entitled "Cell Phones, Social Media, and the Quiet Depression Affecting Women". It's based on a series of discussions I've had with multiple women including my wife, some coworkers, and random servers at restaurants. The women's ages range from 20 - 53 years old. I'd love your feedback.

Doom Scrolling Is Destroying Sleep

Many women are ending their nights not with rest, reflection, or intimacy, but with doom scrolling.

One video becomes twenty. Twenty minutes becomes two hours. The body is exhausted, but the brain remains overstimulated.

Sleep suffers badly because phones keep the mind emotionally activated. Instead of winding down naturally, women absorb arguments, bad news, celebrity drama, relationship advice, beauty standards, and endless comparison right before bed.

The consequences are bigger than simply “being tired.”

Poor sleep increases anxiety.
It worsens depression.
It damages emotional regulation.
It lowers patience.
It weakens focus.
It intensifies insecurity.

A woman who is mentally drained from lack of sleep often becomes more emotionally reactive in relationships, more overwhelmed as a parent, and more vulnerable to depressive thinking.

And yet millions repeat the cycle nightly because the phone has become both the stress source and the escape from stress.

That’s addiction behavior, even if society refuses to call it that.

Part 1: Comparison Is Quietly Destroying Peace

Part 3: Relationships Are Slowly Being Eroded


Comparison Is Quietly Destroying Peace

This is part one of a five-part series entitled "Cell Phones, Social Media, and the Quiet Depression Affecting Women". It's based on a series of discussions I've had with multiple women including my wife, some coworkers, and random servers at restaurants. The women's ages range from 20 - 53 years old. I'd love your feedback.

Comparison Is Quietly Destroying Peace

There was a time when home was a refuge. You could close the door, sit down, and emotionally reset from the world. Today, for many women, the world follows them into bed, into relationships, into motherhood, and into their own self-worth through a glowing screen that never truly shuts off.

Cell phones have become emotional slot machines. Every swipe promises validation, escape, inspiration, or connection. But what many women are actually receiving is comparison, anxiety, resentment, loneliness, and exhaustion disguised as entertainment.

And the dangerous part is this: it happens slowly.

Not through one dramatic moment. Through thousands of tiny emotional cuts every single day.

Social media was originally sold as a way to connect people. In reality, it often functions as a nonstop highlight reel where women compare their real lives to carefully edited performances.

One woman sees engagement photos while her own relationship feels cold. Another sees luxury vacations while she struggles to pay bills. Another watches influencers show “perfect” motherhood while she feels overwhelmed trying to survive the day.

Eventually, comparison becomes emotional poison.

The problem isn’t simply jealousy. It’s what repeated comparison does to the brain over time. It creates the feeling that everyone else is progressing while you are standing still. Even when those online images are staged, filtered, rented, exaggerated, or financially irresponsible, the emotional impact still lands.

Resentment begins to grow.

Some women begin resenting their partners for not providing the lifestyle they constantly see online. Others resent themselves for not attracting the type of man they think everyone else has. Some begin to feel bitterness toward friends, family, or even strangers who appear to have beauty, money, happiness, attention, or stability more easily.

And social media rarely shows the debt, cheating, loneliness, anxiety medication, fake affection, or emotional emptiness hiding behind those photos.

The illusion always wins.

Part 2: Doom Scrolling Is Destroying Peace


Tuesday, June 9, 2026

Dear Some Men: Spending Money Isn’t a Personality

 Some men really believe having a decent haircut, a leased car, and a gym selfie automatically qualifies them as “high value.” Humanity continues its long-standing tradition of confusing presentation with substance. A peacock has feathers too. Nobody’s asking it for relationship advice.

Here’s the thing too many single men refuse to hear: good women are not prizes handed out for existing. They’re not supposed to line up because you make six figures, wear designer clothes, or have a degree hanging on the wall collecting dust next to your emotional maturity.

A lot of men spend more time building an image than building character.

They’ll obsess over status, money, and attention while completely ignoring whether they actually provide a safe space to be around.  Meanwhile, their social media is full of bitterness, disrespect toward women, fake “alpha male” nonsense, and endless attempts to impress other men pretending to be players. Nothing screams insecurity louder than needing applause for treating relationships like a scoreboard.

Then there’s the accountability issue. Some guys want traditional, grounded women while bringing chaos into every room they enter. Multiple baby mothers, reckless behavior, no emotional discipline, zero self-awareness, and somehow they still think the problem is “women these days.” Incredible. The human ability to avoid mirrors should be studied by scientists.

A good woman is usually looking for peace, stability, respect, emotional intelligence, and consistency. Not a man auditioning for a podcast clip.

Working on yourself is more than money and muscles. It’s your attitude. Your discipline. Your integrity. The way you treat people when there’s nothing to gain from it.

Because eventually, the image fades. The ego gets old. And if your entire personality is built on validation and shallow attention, people will eventually leave you alone with the one person you never bothered improving: yourself.



Dear Some Women: Being Attractive Isn’t a Personality

Somewhere along the line, too many people started believing that simply looking desirable automatically makes them relationship material.

I see far too many single women who genuinely think “good men” are supposed to fall at their feet. Why? Because they look a certain way? Because they have a certain job title? Because they earned a degree? Since when did those things alone become the foundation for a healthy relationship?

A decent man is not just looking at your appearance, your income, or your social media image. He’s paying attention to your attitude, your energy, your accountability, and whether you’re actually pleasant to be around.

That’s the part many people skip.

Social media is full of negativity disguised as confidence. Constant bitterness toward men. Zero accountability for bad decisions. Fake lifestyles created for likes and validation. Some people spend more time building an online fantasy than building character in real life.

And here’s the truth nobody wants to say out loud: no decent man wants long-term peace with someone who brings constant drama, chaos, excuses, and negativity into his life.

Being attractive may get attention. Being educated may earn respect. Having a career may create stability.

But none of those things replace kindness, accountability, emotional maturity, humility, loyalty, or self-awareness.

Relationships are not built on resumes and filtered photos. They’re built on who you are when the camera is off and nobody’s clapping for you.

And don't worry, ladies. You can click the link to see what I have to say about the fellas.



Tuesday, June 2, 2026

Social Media's Favorite Sport Is Hating People

A couple of days ago, I watched a video of a fight inside of a sports bar. Nothing unusual there. Human beings have been arguing over alcohol, sports, and wounded pride since someone invented fermented fruit and competition.

But the video claimed the fight happened at a Walk-On's restaurant in Madison, Mississippi.

The people that were fighting were white.

The comment section immediately turned into what comment sections always become: a tribal war.

Some people used the video to criticize Madison. Others used it to defend Madison. 

Some tried to connect the behavior of two individuals to an entire city. Before long, people weren't discussing a fight anymore. They were discussing race, politics, morality, intelligence, crime, culture, and every other topic that social media can drag into a mud pit.

The funny thing is this: the video wasn't recorded at a Walk Ons restaurant in Madison. Heck, there isn't even a Walk Ons in Madison which leads me to believe this was originally posted by someone not even from the area. The video isn't even from Mississippi. It appears to be a two- or three-year-old video from a Buffalo Wild Wings in Hoover, AL. A fight that happened during March Madness years ago.

This seems to happen more and more every day.

Videos are constantly being shared with misleading locations, misleading dates, misleading context, or completely fabricated backstories. A fight in one state suddenly becomes proof of a social problem in another. An old video resurfaces as "breaking news." A random crime becomes evidence that an entire race, city, or political party is somehow defective.

And millions of people hit "share" without spending thirty seconds verifying any of it.

Why?

Because the truth is boring. The truth usually sounds something like this: "A small number of people behaved badly."

That's not exciting. What gets engagement is: "These people are all like this."

Social media rewards outrage the same way casinos reward gambling. The platform gets traffic. The creator gets clicks. The audience gets emotional stimulation. Everyone wins except society.

Around central Mississippi, there has long been tension between people in Madison and people in Jackson. Some residents of Madison point to crime and dysfunction in Jackson as evidence that Jackson is failing.

Some residents of Jackson point to examples of bad behavior in Madison and use them as evidence that Madison's self-image is undeserved.

Both groups spend enormous amounts of time collecting evidence against the other side. It's become less about solving problems and more about winning arguments. The internet has turned many people into amateur prosecutors. Nobody investigates their own side. Everyone investigates the opposition. 

A black person commits a crime. Someone posts it.

A white person gets arrested. Someone posts it.

A liberal says something foolish. Someone posts it.

A conservative says something foolish. Someone posts it.

Then thousands of people conclude that one example represents millions of people.

It's like seeing one bad driver in a Nissan Altima and deciding everyone who owns an Altima can't drive.

Yet people do it every day when race and politics are involved. Bad news grabs our attention. Negative information sticks in our memory.

We remember the insult more than the compliment. We remember the scandal more than the success story. We remember the fight more than the thousand ordinary interactions that happened peacefully that same day.

Social media algorithms understand this better than most psychologists. They know anger keeps people scrolling. They know resentment keeps people engaged. They know fear keeps people clicking. And they know that nothing spreads faster than content that tells people their enemies are worse than they imagined.

This is why your feed is full of outrage and rarely full of context. Most people don't want information.

They want confirmation. They want evidence that the people they already dislike are exactly as bad as they suspected.

A misleading video becomes useful because it reinforces an existing belief.

Once that happens, fact-checking becomes inconvenient.

The result is a society where everyone is carrying around a digital bag full of stories about how terrible the other side is.

Republicans. Democrats. Black Americans. White Americans. Men. Women. All have something.

Everyone is collecting grievances like Pokémon cards.

Meanwhile, millions of decent people from every race, political party, and neighborhood are living ordinary lives, going to work, raising children, helping neighbors, paying bills, and never appearing in a viral video.

But ordinary decency doesn't trend. Who wants to see that?

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