Sunday, November 11, 2012

Dealing with Death... Again

I know that I've been missing from my blog and social networks for a while. It just wasn't a focus of mine over the past month or so. The love of my life, who I affectionately called "The Mrs.," is no longer with me. Her battle with breast cancer (since '03) finally came to an end at 2 AM on November 5th.

After we returned from her birthday trip to San Diego, The Mrs. checked into the hospital on 10/10 due to shortness of breath. One of the side effects from chemotherapy is the weakening of the immune system. She had complications from pneumonia which caused a fluid build-up on the lungs. Almost a month later, her body was too weak to recover from the surgery that she received to remove the fluid. What we thought would be a 24 hour hospital stay turned into 27 days.  Her mom and I stayed with her at the hospital during the duration of her stay.

The funeral was yesterday and although it was filled with tears and sadness, it was also an opportunity to move on.  I did my best to leave all of my sorrows at the gravesite.  Now, when say "move on," I don't mean forgetting.  I mean moving on with life which stops for no one. I definitely know that to be true because life didn't wait for dirt on my mom's grave to settle before this occurred.  My mom's tombstone for her grave had just arrived last week and I saw it for the first time when picking out a spot for The Mrs.

Last night was the first time I dreamed about The Mrs. since she died. In fact, it was the first time that I recall dreaming at all in quite some time. In the dream, she was her normal, healthy self. Nothing seemed weird about the dream at all and it took some time after waking up to even think about the fact that she wasn't sick. I guess that's just a hint to me that she's no longer suffering.

15 comments:

  1. I am so sorry for your loss. There are just no words that can really bring comfort or ease the pain at a time like this. Everyone grieves and moves on in their own way and I respect the fact that you are doing that. Thoughts and prayers are with you Q!

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  2. I'm so sorry for your loss. You will be in my thoughts.

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  3. Q. I wish I could say something nobody has said to you that would make a real difference to you. As many people who have lost loved ones in human history it seems that the magical words should be here by now.

    So I will instead tell you how much I admire you and miss your thoughful words here. I'll tell you that I hope to pass your way another time to share beers and old times with you. Let me know if you need anything.

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  4. Quincy, you have my deepest sympathies for your loss. What a kick in the teeth to get this news.

    Wish you the best as you move on with life, as I know you will. You've already shown us all how it's done with class.

    Be strong, man.

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  5. Oh Q, I am so so so sorry to hear this. I could tell how loved The Mrs was from your posts. I believe that she visited you in your dream...in a way that you were used to seeing her. I know words seem so weak in conveying how much you are thought of - so I'll just send up my prayers to The Bug Guy to give you and your family strength and comfort. And I second what Mooner and Squat said - we are here if you need anything.

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  6. I am just at a loss as to what to say. I'm sorry just never seems like enough. My heart goes out to you and your family. Much love.

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  7. I'm sorry for your loss, Q. You are in my prayers.

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  8. I'm sorry for your loss. I hope moving on while with your life while keeping the loves you have lost close to your heart will give you the strength you need to heal.

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  9. "She's no longer suffering" ..... That's right, Buddy, and your pain will ease with those memories you have of a healthy, happy and vibrant Mrs.. So Sorry for your loss and Best Wishes moving forward. Keep on keepin' on, Q ...... That's all any of us can do .....

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  10. I love that you see her in your dreams as her perfect self. That's a great thing. So sorry for the loss of your love. A good partner to make this life a little more fun to be in is hard to find and sorely missed.

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  11. Q I am so sorry for your loss. You & your family are in my thoughts & prayers.

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  12. Oh, Quincy, I'm so sorry I'm so late in reading this. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. It is such a blessing to have dreamed of her whole again. I know it doesn't heal all the hurt but I hope it helps a little. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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