Dealing with Death... Again

I know that I've been missing from my blog and social networks for a while. It just wasn't a focus of mine over the past month or so. The love of my life, who I affectionately called "The Mrs.," is no longer with me. Her battle with breast cancer (since '03) finally came to an end at 2 AM on November 5th.

After we returned from her birthday trip to San Diego, The Mrs. checked into the hospital on 10/10 due to shortness of breath. One of the side effects from chemotherapy is the weakening of the immune system. She had complications from pneumonia which caused a fluid build-up on the lungs. Almost a month later, her body was too weak to recover from the surgery that she received to remove the fluid. What we thought would be a 24 hour hospital stay turned into 27 days.  Her mom and I stayed with her at the hospital during the duration of her stay.

The funeral was yesterday and although it was filled with tears and sadness, it was also an opportunity to move on.  I did my best to leave all of my sorrows at the gravesite.  Now, when say "move on," I don't mean forgetting.  I mean moving on with life which stops for no one. I definitely know that to be true because life didn't wait for dirt on my mom's grave to settle before this occurred.  My mom's tombstone for her grave had just arrived last week and I saw it for the first time when picking out a spot for The Mrs.

Last night was the first time I dreamed about The Mrs. since she died. In fact, it was the first time that I recall dreaming at all in quite some time. In the dream, she was her normal, healthy self. Nothing seemed weird about the dream at all and it took some time after waking up to even think about the fact that she wasn't sick. I guess that's just a hint to me that she's no longer suffering.