Friday, September 10, 2010

America's Most Wanted, Vol. 2

This is a Q Service Announcement! Be on the look out for this individual:

Perpetrator: Drink Man
Crime: Time Bandits

Ladies know this man very well. He's the guy you meet with his hand already in his pocket waiting to buy you a drink. Not because you're thirsty. Not because he wants you to have it. He buys you a drink because he wants your company. If your time was a soul, then this guy is the devil. You accepting his drink, in his mind, obligates you to dance with him when asked and/or provide your phone number. You sipping that drink is an oral agreement to commit your loyalty to him for the evening.

I don't know where these guys originated. Drink Men have been around way before I was born, but somewhere the game got changed. Guys in the black and white movies on AMC would send a drink across a crowded room to a lady. Only if acknowledged to approach would they stroll over to her to introduce themselves afterwards. Not 2010 Drink Man. "Baby, I got you. I got you, boo. What are you drinking?"

Five minutes later there's a guy sticking closer to you than Secret Service to Obama.

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