Saturday, September 11, 2010

America's Most Wanted, Vol. 3

This is a Q Service Announcement! Be on the look out for this individual:

Perpetrator: Gossip Girls
Crime: Pollution

Their mission is to fill the your ear with poison. Be careful of these people because they are con artists. They'll pretend to care about your problem only to get enough info to spread your story to whoever will listen. They're not your friends, they're low budget reporters looking for a headline.

"Girl, I heard Larry left you for a stripper. Is this true? You poor thing!"

Don't even front, you like that stripper name, "Thunderclap", don't you? Some thieving showgirl will steal that name and make millions off of my idea.

Anyway, the GG's will fish around for information until they have enough to "run their story" a la Ron Burgundy (That's an "Anchorman" reference for those paying attention -- You need Netflix in your life!).

The easiest way to avoid these people is to keep your business to yourself. If you don't crow it, they won't know it. Do like my man Sid said and remove the wood that fuels the fire.

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