Now, over at The Chocolate Knot, Mrs. Maberry has already listed eight things for women not to do in a relationship. So, I figured I would piggy-back that with some traps for men to avoid (even though seven of those eight things she listed could apply to us as well. I'm sure you can figure out which one doesn't apply to us.)
I heard someone on a BlogTalkRadio show (Chloe Brainstorming) that used the phrase, "More honey, less bee." It basically means more of the sweet stuff and less of the bug behind it.
Men, we make our mark on women by our actions. We do things in the beginning of the relationship that captivate our mate. We give her the honey. It could be through flowers, dinner dates, foot rubs, or washing her car. Whatever the way, we're bombarding her with sweetness.
But naturally, over time, we decline in producing nectar. She starts to see more of that big-eyed bug walking around the hive and less honey in which to satisfy her cravings. It's easy for long-term couples to lose focus and forget what attracted their mate to them in the first place.
If you do that, then your significant other will have more honey than she can eat. Wanda Sykes once said that if a guy and his woman are sitting on the couch and he catches her looking upside his head for no reason, it's because she's thinking of the guy that she should have married instead of him. Don't give her second thoughts.
Treating each day like the first date will also prevent her from falling prey into any of those eight things that are mentioned at The Chocolate Knot. Sometimes, that lack of honey can even lead to her letting her guard down and becoming more like Peg Bundy or Mrs. Castanza instead of more like June Cleaver or Claire Huxtable. We fellas love to say, "she let herself go," but maybe we helped motivate her slothful behavior.
I won't lie and say it's easy. Everyone reaches a comfort zone. It's very difficult to maintain focus when every day is the same routine. Be different. Be out of character, but in a good way. If you're the same ol' "plain John" each day, then your wife may start paying more attention to the guy she runs into regularly at the grocery store and start to think about the fact you haven't been in a grocery store since you were single (guilty as charged). It doesn't mean it will lead to anything bad, but it does break down the image.
If you don't, then why are you with them? With every fart, act of selfishness, or any other rude act, that image breaks down even further until you're nothing more than friends who occasionally sleep together or worse, roommates. That's how you go from royalty to a peasant. You take away from being special. You take away from being different from the others.
My final thoughts to the ladies: Go to The Chocolate Knot and start crossing those things off of your list. Protect your brand and be the queen he thinks you are.
My final thoughts to guys: be the man she fell in love with originally. Be her knight in shining armor. Give her flowers for no reason. Cook her dinner. Tell her how nice she looks. Say that you love her.
(Memo to self: take my own advice)