Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Repeat Offender



"All women are ho's!"

"All men are dogs!"

Surely you've heard that plenty of times, right? Have you noticed that it tends to come from the same people over-and-over again? You can't complain if you're a repeat offender, can you? "Once a victim, twice a volunteer" is the old saying, but some people are well beyond two bad experiences.

I don't have as many single friends as I once did, but I still have a few fellas that I know are still looking for Mrs. Right. Or so they say...

I know plenty of guys who say, "Q, man, I'm looking to settle down. Find that special lady so we can raise a family and take care of one another."

"Uh, do you think you're going to find one at the nightclub you went to last night or the strip club you hit up last Thursday?"

"Nah, Q! I can't fool with them. They can look like those women, but I need someone who doesn't have a bunch of kids."

"Uh, dude, don't you have three kids by four women?" (now re-read that sentence slowly and laugh)

"Man, I need someone who will take care of me when I'm sick. Works hard. Who's built like Bry Jensen...."

"Whoa. How can you make how she's built a requirement? You just limited your dating pool by 75%. Don't you know that the average woman isn't a fitness model? No wonder you're single."


(by the way, today is the last day to vote for Bry for 2011 BodySpace Spokesmodel Search!)



I know so many women who say, "there are no good men left in the world". Given today's society, I tend to understand where their feelings originate, but my sympathy for them tends to fade after I see their choice in men.

"Q, I wish I could just find a man who acts right."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I took my last man from a woman and do you know he had the nerve to leave me for someone else? After he said he 'loved me'!"

(Blank stare from me.)

She continued, "I need a man who will work hard to support his family. Be faithful to me and never consider cheating. One who's open and honest and willing to express his feelings. And he has to have six-pack abs and be at least 6'0" tall with tattoos. One who will keep my hair and nails done and send me to the spa weekly."

"Huh!!??"



"Yeah, since I would be a domestic engineer, I will need something to do to keep me stress-free and spa visits would do that for me."

"A 'domestic engineer'? Isn't that code for 'housewife'? Well, unless you hang out at pro golf tournaments or the Waffle House and are lucky enough to meet Tiger Woods, then you will probably remain single like a slice of Velveeta with those expectations."



So, why the charade about who is available in the world today? There are plenty of good men out there just like there are plenty of good women.

The problem is: You don't want one.

If you truly wanted someone who actually wants to be with you for the rest of your life, you'd be realistic. You're wasting your life away waiting on the "perfect mate" with certain physical qualities, motivational factors and financial status. I'm not saying you can't find someone who is successful, good-looking, faithful and great with kids because there are plenty of those people available if you look. But, how many good ones have you already turned away just because he was under six feet tall or because she was a 32A cup?

Why set your standards that high on the superficial things instead of the things that truly make a relationship great?

You do it because "bad" is "good", right? Women like "bad boys" and guys like "bad girls". Even though we know there is heartache involved in dating some Angelina Jolie or Vin Diesel look-a-like, we want what we want, right?

Just be honest with yourself for a change. I need all repeat offenders to repeat after me: "I welcome drama. I enjoy excitement. I like sexy. I like being alone."

Do you feel better now? :)

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