Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Destined to Cheat?

"Ho". Dog. Man. Are we one in the same? Ladies, do you think that a majority of men are just destined to cheat?

I honestly think that some women think that men are natural-born cheaters. Some mothers raise their daughters to believe that "men just cheat". Because of that, some women not only expect it, some accept it.

We all know a woman who has given her man a second, third or fourth chance after cheating. "Well, it's just a man's nature to cheat."

Garbage. I don't agree. Men don't "naturally cheat". Men who cheat do so because they can. They cheat because they know if the woman they're cheating on doesn't take them back, then the woman they're cheating with will take them in. If women want to stop men from cheating, then stop allowing us to do so. Raise your standards and we'll be forced to raise ours.

I wish there was a way to poll every involved guy in the country to see how many would cheat if they knew that they wouldn't get caught. You'd be surprised at the number of men who would not do it. Plenty of guys are happy with what they have at home.

But, let's flip the script. Women not only cheat on men, but they are better at cheating, too. Men aren't planners and normally, we forget our lies as soon as we tell them! And even if a person is good at lying, there are ways to "lie detect" them. When most people lie, they include too many details that are difficult to remember. After a person tells you their story on why they stayed out until 4 AM, all you have to do is listen carefully and take mental notes. After they're done, just ask them to repeat the story... backwards.

Most people can recite a story backwards if it truly happened.

A member of my BlogFrog Community named Adrienne said that, "monogamy is a learned trait". I agree with that statement. Some animals in the world instinctively only mate with one for life, but we people just don't think one is enough some times. Then again, some animals mate and the male ends up a meal if he isn't fast enough to get away. I'm glad it's not like that with humans because I'm sure most men would rather be a virgin than a meal.

But, the bottom line is: men are not destined to cheat. It's not "in our nature" any more it's in a woman's. No woman can "drive you" to cheat. No man can accidentally slip and fall into "some". No man can drink until they're no longer obligated to be faithful.

It doesn't work like that. Either you're a crappy guy or you're not. Either you have respect for your woman or you don't. Either you're man enough to break it off with her before moving on or you're a coward.

Either way, cheating is a decision that you consciously make and no excuse you can conjure will change that fact.

If you're not getting what you need at home, then tell her and leave peacefully and respectfully. Don't go elsewhere on the sly. You can't have your cake and eat it, too. No man on record has died from lack of getting some action. If anything, he's died from trying to get some as indicated in the photos below.

Join the discussion in our forum!


  1. Great post, Q! Needs to be said.

    People usually cheat because they can. Women are told men cheat because it's in their nature - just as women are told men don't know how to do chores or listen or help with the children. It's insulting to men and to women.

    Women need to stop asking themselves "what did I do to make him cheat?" - sorry the happiest guy will cheat, if he's a cheater. The unhappiest guy will not cheat, if he's not a cheater.

    People also say "once a cheater, always a cheater." I do not agree with that. I think it's more likely, but definitely not a guarantee. Sometimes, once a person realizes how awful it feels, how selfish, how lying, how low, it is - they can become a better partner. But this doesn't mean cheating should be excused. Cheating doesn't just break hearts, it breaks trust, and sometimes that can't be repaired.

    1. Thanks, Pish Posh! You're definitely right on that last sentence. A person who has their trust broken can go on the next relationship carrying that same baggage. It's sad how a good person can turn bad simply because they were done wrong and now feels the need to do someone else the same way.

      Thanks for commenting!

  2. Thank you for saying this. A lot of women justify a man's bad behavior this way...

  3. I think that cheating is a choice, but I also believe that everyone, anyone, is capable of cheating given the right circumstances and/or opportunity. I don't think anyone is "destined to cheat", but some people are more "inclined". Great post and great food for thought!!

    1. Thanks and I agree! I think opportunity plays a huge role in it, too.

  4. Most people have the opportunity to cheat at one time or another! Pish Posh said it best...if it's in you, you will no matter the happiness factor...if it's won't. Cheating is never an accident, it's a conscious choice and it's cruel. But that doesn't excuse psycho behavior or immature retribution. Great post, always!

    1. Thanks, Marrie! You're right! It's never an accident!


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