Wednesday, September 28, 2011

TQ Presents... TOAR

I generally try to put out three blog posts per week, but from time-to-time, I get caught up with other things: The Mrs., work, football, etc. So, I figured, why not solicit some of my favorite bloggers to take up the slack for me. Yeah, that's right, I can facilitate my blogging duties to others! How lazy wonderful is that?

So, I've asked TOAR to grace my blog with her zaniness! Well, I'll let her tell you about herself...

"F&#K You & Your Fetishes"

It's TOAR!
Aye, what the fuck ‘chu looking at? Oh yeah, I forgot. I am here because Q wanted to take a Lazy Week. At least he has the brains to recruit guest bloggers to keep making him money while he is gone; unlike me. I swear I better get a cut or it’s gonna be a fucking problem. Anyway - - I am TOAR from Thoughts of a Randomista.

I seriously don’t think that I need an introduction but I noticed that Q gained a few new followers; so to all the people who know me - - What up? To the followers who have yet to endure the weird ass ride of TOAR - - Welcome to my world of “Random Writing Chaos!” I drop ‘F’ bombs and say Bitch regularly. I have been featured on Q’s “Talk 2 Q” radio show & anything else he can conjure up in his mind for bloggers-like-me-to-participate-in-just-because-I-am-too-nice-to-say-no – just kidding about the nice part. You can say that Q and I never see eye to eye but we love each other none the less. I won’t be surprised if he edits this post. *pretty girl shrug* If this is not enough about me, read this post, visit my blog linked above, or follow me on twitter @BeauTAILful7.

Now that I am done being pleasant rude as fuck –here is more; what is up with these fetishes? People get turned on by the weirdest shit. I am not talking about normal common fetishes like feet or strippers. Don’t get me wrong with some of the things that makes me horny wet (yeah, I like that word better) can come off a little suspect but in no way shape or form will I dress up like a fucking infant and suck on “mommy’s milk.”

Yeah I said it! Why do GROWN ass men think they can dress up in a diaper and suck on my titties while I am still lactating? There are so many points I have to make right now.

A) YOU are a grown ass man, not a baby. Just because women have the stereotypical role as your caregiver does not mean that I am going to resort to being your ass wiper! You cannot dress up like a baby one minute when you want some ass then turn around and want me to treat you like a “REAL MAN” ----FUCK that you pansy!

B) If I am still lactating, doesn’t that mean that there is a baby somewhere nearby? I heard (because I do not have kids), that breast feeding hurts like a motherfucker with a baby that is all gums. So I have to sit here and let you KNAW on my pretty ass titties with your GROWN-MAN ASS TEETH?! Hell-TO-THE-FUCK-no. My titties might already go from this ( ∙ ) ( ∙ ) to this (_)(_) without your help. *SHE AIN’T GOT NO NIPPLLLLEESS* in my Kevin Hart Voice.

C) Lastly, why you gotta wear a diaper though? You getting old already which means eventually you can enjoy your diaper wearing fetish at a later age. I mean sure, wanting to taste the milk - - I can go that far but the outfit too? COME ON!


There are so many more that I can talk about – but I think I will wait for my next guest post. But before I go, let me tell you some of my fetishes – nothing as extravagant as tit knaw-ing.

I love Bow Ties. OMG! Take off all your clothes and rub your bow tie on my cooter… please! Oh Yes! Right there.. uhmm.. – Oh my bad I’ll move on now.

I like NICELY maintained dreads with gold in the mouth. I think that is because I am from Detroit and people don’t do that shit here. It’s Trifling.

That is about it I think. If I think of something else I’ll let you know but in the meantime, tell me your fetishes! What do you like or love? What have you heard that is just ratchet and make you say “Hell-to-the-FUCK-no”? Don’t Be Shy =)

Remember to Follow My Blog on:
Thoughts of a Randomista


  1. I love giving. I'm a giver. I love to please.

    But sometimes, I like to just take control, do what I want, and I'll get'cha back later.

    I call this my 'fuck puppet' mode. I'm gonna use you as an object. Have my way with you. Do what I want, get off, then go.

    I don't do it a lot, but every now and then it's fun. And my girl is into it, because she knows I'm not holing back. It drives her crazy, and I usually have to follow up later in the day with giving her what SHE wants.

    No diapers. No milk. No baby talk. Just jungle sex.

  2. @ LiI - "Jungle sex?" LOL! I'm glad there's not any diapers and milk involved.

    @ TOAR, thanks for doing the blog post. I think it's flat-out funny! Some of your best work.

  3. TOAR cracks me up!! Girl, I swear you and Falen are related! Fetishes - the weird shit like necrophilia or the whole autoerotic asphyxiation - I do NOT get at all! Mine would have to be men with ooey, gooey, dripping sweet southern accents. Man, that shit could melt the drawers off a nun as far as I'm concerned.

  4. @ Reck - Ooey gooey? You may have to elaborate on that one some day. You know, in all honesty, Reck, you, Falen and TOAR are very similar. You all speak your mind and come up with some of the most off-the-wall funniest stuff ala a talking dog/Silence of the Lambs video. :)

  5. Brandon- I love jungle sex! It's the best when a man takes what he wants from me... Ok not just any man. I like to get raped... By my man.

    Q- you are most welcome! When I think of more crazy fetishes I'll have you post it on your blog. I thought this was a good post too!

    Reck- I love accents period... That can make me all kinds of gooey!

  6. @ TOAR - What's up with you and Reck wanting accents and "gooey?"


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