Mommy, Look At The Penguins!

This post first appeared as a guest post on LostinIdaho.me..

"Mommy, look at the penguins!" is what I would imagine hearing from a child who is visiting the United States for the first time. This imaginary child from a foreign land would not be referring to the frigid birds of the tundra, but instead... idiots and their sagging pants.





My mom and / or dad would have stapled my pants up to my nipples before they let me walk around sagging like a convict. Yes, I said convict. After all, that's where the trend allegedly got its start.

Prisoners were forbidden to wear belts in jail because some of them would use the belt to hang themselves. As a result of being beltless, the pants they wore tended to sag. This made it more difficult to commit suicide and it also made it more difficult to run when trying to escape custody. It was also stated that the men wearing their pants "extra low" were some other prisoner's "hoe." Some how in the 90's, this prison trend crept its way into hip hop culture and has now infected our kids. I'm guessing because they're too stupid to research the origin of things.

Now, let me state this first: I have no problem with kids having trends. I participated in some trends as a youth and I understand how cool it looks when you're young. That's why you have to be a certain age to drink because youngsters are naturally stupid and can't tell "cool" from "fool" very easily. What I don't understand is how something so flat-out laughable has become cool. People used to moon other people as a joke, but now it's a fashion trend to see someone's butt. No longer do you have to go to a strip club or call a plumber in order to see a butt crack.


Can anyone under 25 years old explain to me how pulling up your pants every three steps and walking like a penguin is cool?

If you were a prisoner, wouldn't this be more of an invitation that a fashion statement?