Saturday, September 10, 2011

Do You Read Books?

Speaking of books... 
So, we're chillin' in downtown Jackson last Saturday night, right? The Mrs. and I are having a conversation with someone we know when I see someone out of the corner of my eye.

It was a young guy, maybe mid-20's, who looked somewhat presentable. I mean, he didn't look homeless or anything, but his clothes definitely could have used an iron. He was carrying something a little bigger than a shoe box and he just walked up about 10 feet from us and stopped.

I didn't make eye contact initially because I wasn't quite sure if he wanted our attention since he was standing so far away. But, "curiosity killed the cat" and I had to take a look. That was his cue to start his sales pitch: "Do you read books?"

"What?," I said knowing that I heard the question, but thought it was an odd inquiry.

"Do you all read books?," he repeated.

At this time, I'm staring at The Mrs. and our associate. "Do we read books?" What else do you do with books? Maybe even out a table leg or something now and then, but you're supposed to read or color in them, right? After a two or three seconds of confusion, it dawns on me that this guy is trying to sell books. Duh!

"Uh, nah, playa, we don't want to buy any books," I replied.

Then he goes to his backup plan: "Do you like candles?"

The guy is basically talking without opening his mouth, so it's difficult to understand him. So, I thought he asked me if I "lite candles." Duh, yeah, everyone lites candles, right? Wait. No, that's not what he said. "Uh, no we don't want any candles either, bro."

He simply turns around and disappears into the night. Now, I'm not a salesperson by any means, but I think my sales pitch would have been much better than "do you read books or do you like candles?"

Maybe I need Lost in Idaho (Brandon) to give some sales tips for this guy.


  1. You should have told him, "Dude! Haven't you heard? Kindle is all the rage now...we don't read actual BOOKS now, we look at words on our electronic equipment!" [Actually - I just "bought" my first book on kindle - actually on my Droid phone - and I'd have to say, it's pretty damned convenient to be able to whip my phone out and go right back to reading the book whenever/wherever, versus carrying an actual book around in my already too heavy purse with the kitchen sink in it!]

  2. Reading? What is this reading you speak of? LOL! It was just the weird sales pitch that caught my attention, Reck. "Do you read books?"

    Couldn't he have done better than that?

  3. Pssst... Hey....

    Do you breathe air? Because if so, HAVE I GOT A DEAL FOR YOU!!!

    I think I'm going to use his line on a sales call now. I just found out I sell the Farmer's Almanac books, so it's totally relevant now.

  4. @ LiI - LOL! You can make millions if you use that pitch, B! Millions!

  5. Swing batter batter swing


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