Sunday, August 3, 2014

Nice Guys Do Finish Last

Yes, it's absolutely true 9 times out of 10.  I've been saying this since my high school days.  I said it through my college days.  And I'm saying it again today.  "Nice guys do finish last."

I listened to a podcast of a friend of mine named Crystal.  The Crystal Show is a wonderful talk show that discusses a lot of interesting topics and this particular one was on women who date jerks.  I listened as the ladies on this show talked about how nice guys can be boring.  I listened to them laugh as they told stories about nice guys who just didn't cut the mustard when it came to keeping their interests.

Being a nice guy is rarely going to bring you success when it comes to women.

Like everything else in life there has to be a balance.  You sometimes have to maintain the right amount of gentleman and the right amount of caveman.  Every guy has it in them, but some forget to express it at times and it can be a turn-off for women.  I'm not saying that a man can't be sensitive and caring, but those are traditionally feminine qualities.  Most women want someone who is different from them not just like them.  That's why so many nice guys end up in "The Friend Zone" instead of "The End Zone."  Heck, I've had to even give myself a wake up call on it.

I consider myself a nice guy.  Because of that I'm sure to some ladies I've come off as a pushover or a "softie" and that's my mistake if that has occurred.  If anyone has ever thought that of me then that means that I let my guard down and got caught slippin'.  I'm a huge James Bond fan and the one thing Bond always does well is balance smooth with rough.

Relationships are all about balance.  There's no such thing as "you complete me."  That's garbage we picked up from the "Jerry Maguire" movie.  You compliment someone, but you don't "complete" them.  And to compliment someone you sometimes have to add something to the mix that they don't have.

That means that we nice guys have to gain or reclaim our swagger.  Our edge.  The thing that lets every heterosexual woman in the room know that we're a man.  That doesn't mean throw away the nice guy.  It just means not to lead with it.  That's something a woman should discover about you.  Don't put it out there on a silver platter from Day One.  Maintain that balance.  Be Bond.

The bottom line is this: you can be the kind of man who has an edge without being a jerk.  You can be the type that has a kind heart without being a chump.  

Find your middle and stick to it.  Make it a part of your life and stick to it.  Being nice can get you a woman, but it's not necessarily going to keep her.  She will get bored.

Just like you crave the softness of a woman, give her the toughness of her man.  And do it before something nice walks out of your life.


  1. Yeah great article, to that point may be that's why Call Girls are so popular with successful businessmen...

    1. LOL! Yeah, there's a market for lonely nice guys for sure, M&M!

  2. Personally I do want sensitive and caring. (while still wanting him to ravage me!) ;-)

    1. LOL! Nothing wrong with that at all, Emme. Not at all.


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