Jay Z vs. Harry Belafonte

It' been a couple of weeks now, but it appears that I have more to say on this Jay Z / Belafonte argument. We touched on this subject on the radio show, but it's still getting a lot of press. Here is what happened for those who are unaware: performer and Civil Rights activist, Harry Belafonte, publicly called out Jay Z and Beyonce for not doing their part in regards to Civil and Human Rights. He basically stated that with their presence, they could accomplish a lot.  Jay Z responded by dissing Belafonte in a song from his newest album.

Here's my take: Belafonte didn't have to call out Jay publicly, but I don't have a huge problem with that. This country became as great as it is because people challenged others to do great things.  However, I do have a problem with how Jay Z handled it. Dissing an 86 year old Civil Rights activist in a rap song? What are you, 12? You can't even address the man like an adult or release a statement?

Some of you are saying, "well, just because he's 86 doesn't mean that he can't get dissed!"  I totally disagree with you and that line of "thinking."  The fact that he's 86 is the main reason Jay Z should have handled this differently.  You don't treat older people like you do younger people.  And if you don't believe that, then punch an old man in the face and see what happens to you.  The cops will throw you a "blanket party" on the way to the jail house.

Older people are treasured in other countries, but that's not the case for the United States. Regardless if you sacrificed your life for the freedom of others, fought for equality or the right to vote, there are plenty of young people out there ready to push you out of the way. "You had your time, now it's my time. Never mind the fact that I can prosper today because of what you did 50 years ago."

That's beyond sad and ignorant to me. Harry Belafonte grew up during an era when people tried to leave the world better off than how they found it. Jay Z comes from a generation that tries to leave the world with enough money as humanly possible.  Because of attitudes like that, the world is spiraling out of control.  Companies are steadily sending jobs overseas.  Politicians are more corrupt than ever.  Racism is still rampant around the country.  We still have plenty of problems in this country, but no one with the stature of Jay Z is willing to risk speaking out against it.  After all, why alienate people and ruin the opportunity to turn $600m into $650m?

Belafonte comes from a time where a "village raised a child." So, being chastised by someone older other than your parents was commonplace. Respect was something you worked for to earn the title of "man" or "woman."  Jay Z comes from a time where parents instruct their kids not to listen to other adults.  Respect is expected just from existing.  You can even call someone a "hubby" or "wifey" without being married.

So, there's a huge gap in thinking in just 40 years between Belafonte's generation and Jay Z's.  I'm from Jay's generation, so I'm one to not criticize him for how he lives his life.  He says that he's a "symbol of hope" to many.  That may be true.  It's not true in my case, but it could be true to others.  Besides, what he does with his money and his time is his business.  But, I do have a problem with him calling out a real hero.  Jay Z calling Harry Belafonte a "boy" and dissing his contributions to the world is the equivalent of Lebron James calling Muhammad Ali a "has been."

Jay Z donated to Katrina victims and participated in eradicating water shortages in the world.  He also became a pioneer in how money is made in the music industry.  Harry Belafonte was a successful singer and actor.  He bankrolled Dr. Martin Luther King's family when he was on the road.  He bailed MLK out of jail.  He helped finance the Freedom Rides and more.  All of this ultimately led to black people receiving their Civil Rights.

Jay Z changed the way rappers do business in the rap game, but Harry Belafonte changed the world.

Who do you think owes the apology in this scenario? 

Dorothy Dandridge and Harry Belafonte (1954)

"Carlos Danger," You're Still A Weiner

Anthony, will the ladies always be a weakness for you?  

NYC mayoral candidate, Anthony Weiner, is back in the news for the wrong reasons (again).  If you remember back to 2011, Weiner sent a photo of his "last name" to a woman on Twitter.  The media grabbed ahold to it (the photo, not his weiner) and it ultimately forced him to resign from his Congressional position.

You would think losing a Congressional spot and causing marital strife would be enough for Anthony to straighten up and fly right.  Well, no, that's not the case.  A.W. went incognito and decided to go online under the alias of "Carlos Danger."  I'll give you a few seconds to wipe the tears from your eyes and stop laughing...

He exchanged messages with a woman asking if she'd seen the photos that he released in 2011 and if she was impressed by them.  Of course, the media got their hands on the transcript from the conversations and Anthony is now under pressure to drop out of the mayoral race.  A race in which the polls showed him with a comfortable lead until this information was "leaked."

Most Weiner supporters Democrats people would say, "his personal life has nothing to with his potential career as mayor."

Actually, I think that it would have an impact on it.  This is a man, who hurts his marriage and throws away a political seat over potential sex, has a chance to start over fresh, but does the same thing?  I would question that person's ability to make decisions.  Who's to say that Anthony Weiner wouldn't fall into corruption as mayor if he wins?  Anyone could send a sexy woman his way to compromise what few morals he may have left.

It's a shame, too.  Weiner could have won and probably could have been a good mayor had he kept his head in his pants on straight.

What do you think?  Does Carlos Danger / Anthony Weiner deserve a 3rd chance?

"Not even I can help this guy!"

Married Men & Facebook

I was once married, so I know that social networking can get you in trouble if you allow it to do so.  However, some guys just crack me up.  They're asking for trouble!  In this digital age where there's a record of everything floating around in cyberspace, I don't get married men and Facebook.

Facebook is probably the most famous of the social networking flirting tools out there because it gives you photos and personality.  A guy can not only see how sexy you are, but he can also see what you Like and enjoy doing depending on your privacy settings.  So, if he sees that you Like Patrón and you've Checked In at a strip club, then odds are you'll be added to his "to-do" list.

A lot of women have a false sense of security when it comes to their male friends.  They think that most men actually want to be their friends, but the truth is: most men want to sleep with them.  It doesn't matter that he's married because there are quite a few of married men who cheat.  If I had to give my opinion on it, then I would say that at least 60% of all married men cheat.  I'm not speaking from personal experience because I haven't cheated on a woman since high school, but I've met my share of married men who've cheated.  I think 60% is generous.

However, women will innocently "Friend" these guys left and right only to receive an onslaught of inbox messages begging for "opportunity."  Sometimes it is just a blatant "Poke" or "hey, sexy" message while other times, it's subtle.  He tells you all of the problems that he's had with his significant other and gets you to feel sorry for him.

So, ladies, unless you're part of the #SideChickRevolution and you're into married men, then I would suggest to you to nip things in the bud once they inbox you.  It can only lead to no good and drama.

Have you ever FB flirted or had someone FB flirt with you?

It's Been Three Years Already?

Happy Blogaversary to me!

It doesn't seem like my blog should be three years old already, but it is.  This blog has revealed so much in the past three years from personal stories to news stories.  For those who are fairly new to my blog, I would definitely advise you to backtrack through the 2011 archives.  I was on fire then!  I was putting out blog posts every other day!

Now, I don't blog as much as I once did and I apologize for that.  I blame another medium for distracting me from my writing...  my radio show.

If you have not heard the Talk 2 Q Radio Show, then you're missing out.  It airs twice per week and if you miss the live airing, then there are over 225 episodes for you to enjoy in the archives section.  The show basically gives me the avenue that I need to cover multiple topics and get instant feedback from my fans who call into the show.  Once you get a taste of that type of high, then it's hard to put out blog posts every three days and hope that someone comments.

In the blog world, a lot of bloggers only comment on your page if you comment on theirs.  With my mom and wife both struggling and ultimately succumbing to cancer last year, I didn't have time to read a lot of blogs.  I saw my pageviews decrease dramatically over the last six months of 2012.  Was it because I wasn't reading other blogs?

I'll never know.  But, one thing that I do know: people love my radio show.  I'm so proud of that fact.  I've interviewed actors/actresses, musicians, authors, professional therapists and of course, other bloggers.  We discuss everything from relationships, politics, sex, sports, current events, race relations and more.  It's truly enjoyable and I enjoy the fact that I've now established enough of a reputation that people reach out to me regularly to be on my show.

But, I do hope to get back in the swing of things in blogging.  That includes reading the blogs of others.  I still read Jewels, Idaho, Tsaritsa, Vinny, Squatlo, LogAllot, Lawfrog and Mooner regularly.  I may not always comment, but I still read them.  Those are the people who inspired me and / or collaborated with me, so I'll always follow them.  And most of them have been with me since the early beginnings of Thank, Q and just about all of them have participated on my radio show.  You probably could too if you'd just simply ask. :)

Anyhoo, I want to thank everyone who has visited my blog and I will leave you with a gift on my blog's birthday:

Three of my favorite blog posts - "Boonies Aren't For Me (Part I)," "Tippin' Isn't A City in China," and "Real Housewives of Panama City Beach"

Three of my favorite radio shows - "Let's Talk About Sex, Part X", "Meet the Cast of 'The Unwritten Rules'" and "Born Heartless"

Enjoy.

Trayvon Won't Be The Last of #RacialProfiling

Photo credit

Last night, we witnessed yet another tragedy in the court room. We witnessed a man being absolved from a situation in which he clearly instigated. Last night, George Zimmerman was found not guilty of anything in regards to the death of 17 year old Trayvon Martin.

Now, I don't feel the pure anger that some do and that's not to say that I don't care. What's sad is that I don't feel the outrage because I've seen this before. I've seen minorities suffer atrocities at the hands of non-minorities without convictions being made. And I stress the word "minority," because this doesn't just apply to blacks. It applies to anyone who looks black from Haitian to Dominican.

I've also seen inconsistencies on how convictions are made. A black woman named Marissa Alexander, who we have discussed on my radio show before, got 20 years for firing warning shots at her abusive husband. Warning shots! This also happened in Florida. Where is the consistency in the law?

There is no consistency when it comes to minority victims getting justice. However, there is consistency when it comes to the outcome of cases involving minorities: Amadou Diallo, was followed by cops because he looked like a rape suspect, shot at 41 times, hit 19 times, for pulling out his wallet to show his ID to plain clothes cops. Someone yelled "gun" and they start shooting.

Sean Bell was killed as he and his friends were shot at 50 times by plain clothes cops the morning before his wedding. He, too, was followed to his car because someone thought he mentioned that he was "going to get a gun" to settle an argument.

Patrick Dorismond was approached by a plain clothed cop who asked him for drugs. When he got offended at the notion that being dark skinned and standing outside of the club made him a drug dealer, there was an altercation. The undercover officer said that Patrick swung at him, but even if that were the case, the cop had failed to ID himself at that point. A second cop arrived and stated that he heard Patrick yell to his friend, "get his gun." The scuffle resulted in Patrick being shot in the chest and killed.

Now, there are more details to each of those stories, but the constant is that all of the victims had dark skin. All of the victims were being followed or approached for looking suspicious. All of the victims were accused of having a gun or being some sort of immediate threat. All of them are dead.

None of the shooters who followed had dark skin. None of the shooters were correct in their assessment of the victim's intent or presence. None of the victims saw the suspect with an actual gun. None of the shooters who profiled them were convicted of any wrong doing.

He didn't have a gun, "Oops, sorry." 

He wasn't a rapist? "Dag, my bad." 

He didn't sell drugs? "Whoops. My fault." 

So, excuse me if I'm not jumping off the walls in reaction to this verdict because I've seen this mess before! This is a recurring living nightmare that we as minorities have each day of our lives when we leave our homes. It's the reason why my father taught me how to talk to a cop before I was even old enough to get my drivers license. It's the reason why my mom taught me about being respectful in public because of how I may unknowingly intimidate people around me resulting in police presence. I thought those lesson were about respect, but little did I know as a pre-teen that my parents were teaching me survival skills!

What's so sad in all of this is that Trayvon Martin will never get to tell his side of the story. Neither will the next victim...

The media has perpetuated the problem with divisiveness instead of offering solutions.

Photo credit

Lip Service

"You know you want this!"

Everyone has something that gets their attention when it comes to physical attraction. We guys are very visual and tend to have a preference in body parts when it comes to women.

There are breast men, leg men and butt men, to name the most popular.  However, like with everything else, I tend to be a bit different.  If you've been reading my blog for any extended period of time, then you know that I never seem to go with the majority on anything.

One of the first things that I look for on a woman, if she's facing me, are her lips.  Lips are the sexiest thing on a woman to me.  It's not that I disregard her other features or anything, but lips are just a starting point for me.  There's something sensual about a set of full lips on a woman.  Yes, I said "full."

That's a preference for me when it comes to attraction.  It's not a deal breaker by any means, but it is a bonus for sure.  If they're not full, then I can go for pouty.  I've always been a fan of the Gina Gershon look.  If someone can pull off both, then she could probably completely take advantage of me.  LOL!

Physical attraction is very subjective.  There have been some idiots who tried to measure it, but you can't measure an opinion.  We all have something that we enjoy seeing on people we find attractive and that's part of what makes people unique.  Sure, we're just like animals, but what separates us from them is that we have a preferred taste.

A woman can decide that a man may be too short for her liking.  A man can decide that a woman may not have the pair of legs that turns him on.  That's the beauty of it all!  It's completely up to you.  People always look one-sided at me when I tell them that a woman's lips are the most attractive thing.  They assume that I should value breasts, booty or legs more.

Those things are a dime a dozen if you ask me.  However, I crave the set of lips that can make a lollipop shed a tear.  I may not be among the masses, but that's my preference and I'm sticking to it.

What is your favorite feature on a person?

Photo courtesy of Ms. Onta

Photo courtesy of Ms. Vixin

Are You The Grill Master?

Yes, I am!  I've really gotten into grilling as of late.  I've always wanted to be "that guy" who could throw down on a barbecue grill, but I just never took the time to really learn it.  Prior to this summer, I've grilled maybe three or four times in my life.  Just this summer alone, I've fired up the grill at least five or six times.  And I still have plenty of summer left!

Part of it was wanting to try something new in my life.  After all, everyone hits a mid-life crisis at some point, I guess.  Instead of running out and buying a motorcycle, I decided to try and create the perfect blend of seasoning for chicken, burgers, etc.  The other part is the really cool barbecue grill set that my significant other's oldest daughter got me for Father's Day (although I'm not biologically a dad).  It came in a cool James Bond-esque suitcase, too, so you know that I have to use it whenever I can.

For those who are visiting Mississippi prior to summer ending, look me up and I'll throw one on for you!

Have you found a new hobby late in life?

People Still Celebrate R. Kelly?

"Hey, girl!  You like Dora the Explorer?"

I'm watching the BET Awards last night and R. Kelly comes out to perform.  Now, I don't watch a lot of awards shows, but as of late, I've been getting back into them.  I once owned Kelly's "12 Play" CD.  It's one of the greatest R&B albums of all-time, if you ask me.  However, I can no longer listen to it because of the accusations thrown towards Kelly's way.

Here are some of the accusations:

In '96, a woman sued him for having inappropriate sexual relations with her when he was 24 and she was 15.  That case was settled for what was reported as $250,000 and the victim isn't allowed to speak about the case ever again.

In '99, he met a lady who was 17 at the time.  Now, although she said they never had sex until they were 18, she spoke of how backstage at an R. Kelly concert looked like a junior prom from all of the under aged girls.

In '00, his manager retired and said that Kelly needed professional help.  His manager was the uncle of singer, Aaliyah, who was once married to Kelly as a teen before that got annulled.  Rumor has it that he married her because she missed her period and thought she was pregnant.  The marriage would protect him from her being subpoenaed to testify against him in court for a statutory rape charge.  Wives can't testify against their husbands.  However, it was reported that she wasn't pregnant, but only missed her period due to an STD that he gave her.

In '01, a 17 year old claimed Kelly took her virginity.  That case was settled out of court like many others.  Kelly's "girlfriends" tended to want to settle more than put him away.

In '02, a teen said she met Kelly at her prom and eventually wound up pregnant by him.  She claimed that one of his associates took her to get an abortion and she also settled out of court.

What's so sad is that these aren't even all of the accusations made against the popular singer.  There were other cases that I chose not to mention to prevent such a long blog post.  That's a lot of finger pointing to one man if you ask me.  Do these ladies want a payday?  Well, yes.  From the sounds of it, they all did.

But, I personally believe that where there's smoke, there's fire.  And even if all of these accusations aren't true, the marriage to Aaliyah on 8/31/94, which has been confirmed, is enough for me to realize that dude is a pedophile.  But not enough for his fans.  No matter how many people come out of the "wood works," as long as he's keeping people dancing to his music, he gets a pass.

And that's what I saw tonight.  People still celebrate R. Kelly despite the fact that he has the history that he does.  Not me.  Everyone deserves a second chance and everyone deserves to be forgiven.  But, molesting children is the lowest of the low and because of that, I can't listen to him or watch him.

Do you think R. Kelly deserves to be celebrated despite multiple reported pay offs, a marriage to teen Aaliyah, but no convictions?