Saturday, January 22, 2011
Be a mother, but please don't be a "baby mama"
So many times, I come across "baby mamas". For those who don't know, those are women who have children, but still continue with their lives as if they're single. They drop their kids off with the grandparents every chance they get so that they may go out with the girls, hang out at bars and/or go clubbing.
For the life of me, I can't understand how someone who calls herself a "mother" would do that. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying once you have a child that you're never allowed to have fun. All I'm saying is that if you are a parent and you're still a regular in the nightclub, then you're doing a disservice to the child. If you're not ready to give up that lifestyle, then close your legs and not have a kid until later in life.
Be a father, but please don't be a "baby daddy".
Since I'm a man, I have a little more to say on this one...
Let's stop treating children like pets or accessories. They're living beings who need nurturing, support and guidance.
Being blessed with a two parent household as a child, I was raised with many traditional values from the Old South. I was taught to take my cap off before entering someone's home, hold a door for a lady to enter first, give a firm handshake, make eye contact when speaking with people, and be accountable for my actions.
As crazy as it sounds, those things are becoming a lost art. Too many boys out there lack the man training that is necessary to restore the dwindling cycle of the main components of manhood. Pride, responsibility, and accountability have been replaced with entitlement, dependency, and deflection.
Pride allows you to be proud of what you have achieved so you may maintain/enhance it. Entitlement lets you think that something is owed to you without earning it. You exist, so, therefore, you deserve.
Responsibility is what keeps you focused on what is important: life, love, and leadership. Dependency perpetuates childhood. You can have a life and you can love, but you can't lead if you're crawling around on all fours without the ability to stand.
Accountability keeps us humble. It removes fear when it comes to saying "my apologies." Deflection removes all blame because it's someone else's fault/problem, right?
Once you become a parent, it's no longer about you. It's about doing what is best for the child. It takes an adult (preferably two) to raise a child.
It's time to stop the foolishness.