@TheTsaritsa is A Winner!

"The dog was getting in my face, so I ate him. What? Let me digest..."

I had my first book giveaway about a month ago. I had an extra copy of "Full Rising Mooner," courtesy of the man, Don Legacy himself, and I decided that I wanted to share it with one of my followers. Of course, you know with me, I don't believe in something-for-nothing. So, I decided to have a caption contest to make my followers earn the book. I displayed the photo to the right and said that whoever comes up with the funniest caption would win the book. I decided to make The Mrs. the judge just to try and make things as unbiased as possible.

When it was all said and done, The Mrs. chose The Tsaritsa's (Alexandra's) comment. Maybe it wasn't as unbiased as I thought since The Mrs. is a cat lover like The Tsaritsa and can't resist a jab at a dog. Anyhoo, I enjoyed all of the comments and appreciate those who participated. Alexandra, DM your address to me and I'll get the book out to her in a week or so. You can read it and be appalled and entertained at the same time like the rest of us who've cracked it open. LOL!

And thanks to Mr. Mooner Johnson himself for taking time to donate the book and autograph it for our winner! I'll have to send you an autographed photo of a topless Ann Coulter to show my appreciation of your good deed. There's nothing like a topless praying mantis to brighten your day, huh, Mooner?

Congrats to Alexandra of TheTsaritsaSez.com

Do As I Say

Thanks to Vinny C for being the first person to see the light and recognize that I need to be in charge of the world. Ironically, in order for me to rule the world, I have to list three things that I would enforce once I take control of all of your lives. Who forces an overlord to make a list? Sheesh.

Anyway, here are the three things that will change in this world as proclaimed by the new, all-powerful, Q:

1) Congress will be limited to one four-year term. I'm so sick of these career politicians robbing the country. Sure, there may be a handful of honest politicians, but for the most part, they have more interest in being re-elected than making the country a better place. If there is no re-election option, then maybe people who ran for office would actually do so to help.

2) All reality shows will be on one channel. I'm so sick of hitting the guide button on my DirecTV remote and seeing it littered with reality show garbage. "Basketball Wives," "Baseball Wives," "Keeping up with the Kardashians," "Hillbilly Hand Fishin'," etc., etc. There's a new reality show debuting every month it seems. Place it on one channel so I can have some quality programming on the others. Besides, the only reality show allowed on TV should be the one I created with the help of some of my blogging friends.

3) Jails will return to being a place that criminals do not want to go. No more luxuries in jail whatsoever. Just put me in charge and I'll have people trembling at the idea of prison. Prisoners will now grow their own food. No more mooching off of the tax payers and no more kick backs to these privatized prisons. The only television allowed will only show two channels: Headline News and PBS. Let those idiots learn something for a change while in jail.

Those are the first three things that come to mind that I will install during my reign as overlord. Now, here comes something else Vinny wants me to do although I don't like it: I have to share my power with five people. Huh? So, are they like "underlords" serving under me or something? I can't be the end-all, be-all if I have to bestow power on five others, can I?

Then again, I guess Vinny was nice enough to share his power with me. Maybe we can take different parts of the world and run them together. I'll take Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama. They'll need someone who knows the area to give them the tough love that they need.

Anyhoo, let me list the five people who I would trust with this great power of running things on this great planet of ours:

the Tsaritsa - I'm guessing it'll be karaoke-related
The Chocolate Knot - Whatever she chooses, I know it'll be smart
Mooner Johnson - This will be a must-read regardless of what comes to his mind
According to Jewels - Something sexual or alcohol-related, maybe?
Thoughts of a Randomista - I wonder what ideas she'll come up with for this?

In the words of Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles," "Now go do... that voodoo... that YOU do... SO WELL!!!!"

And props to MelanieD for being Follower #125!