Loyalty is Extinct

My favorite NFL team since 1975.

Things that were once something to be proud of 50 years ago are just simply trendy in 2013.  One of those things is the act of being loyal to something or someone.  We don't do that much any more.  In fact, there are probably a lot of people who may even consider it stupid to remain with something that's not giving you what you need at that particular moment.

We live "in the moment" way too much these days.  Some blame the YOLO (you only live once) mentality, but this mindset was around way before that term.  Somewhere between 1990 and now we completely lost the ability to show loyalty.

A perfect example is in sports.  I'm a Dallas Cowboys fan.  I have been since I was old enough to remember.  I have photos of me around 3 years old wearing Cowboys stuff.  Despite the fact that they haven't won a Super Bowl since 1996 doesn't deter the fact that they're still my team.

I have a nephew who is 13 years old and he is on his 3rd "favorite" team.  Once "his" team goes on a downward spiral, he changes to another one.  He sees nothing wrong with changing of teams because he doesn't understand loyalty.  He doesn't get that there's more appreciation to patiently waiting for things to get better rather than jumping on the next team's bandwagon.  This translates into everyday relationships.

How can someone stick with a significant other through the good times and bad times if they can't grasp the concept of loyalty?

Being in a dedicated relationship means that both people have to show loyalty.  It's the cornerstone of what makes a relationship successful.  It doesn't mean that you necessarily have to stay with that person until the very end because there are exceptions to every rule (abuse, criminal/drug activity, incompatibility, etc.).  However, it does mean that even when things aren't 100% that you should hold out hope that some day they will be.

"Reality" TV doesn't help.  We see The Bachelor and The Bachelorette go through contestants like Kleenex tissues.  Although that's a scripted game show, it gives some viewers the mindset that they always have immediate options.  It encourages the mentality that "if you're not going to do what I want when I want, then I'll find someone who will until you start acting right."

If she's not giving you the intimacy you once shared as newlyweds then try to talk it out instead of creeping with a co-worker.  If he's not giving you the emotional support that you need then communicate that with him before confiding in the guy you see at the gym.  You owe that person that much simply by having the title of "significant other."  And if you don't feel that way, then you're not in a real relationship anyway.

I'm not saying you should never end a relationship.  Sometimes things just don't work.  But, you're doing yourself a disservice if you don't even try.  If you can't feel enough responsibility and dedication to stick with someone that you call a "significant other," then I guess they weren't so "significant" in the first place.

Life won't always be rosy in relationships.  Things happen.  How you respond to those things determine what kind of character you have as a person.  Are you the type of person who quits as soon as something pops off or do you try to weather the storm until things improve?

Through thick and thin, I wear my Dallas Cowboys paraphernalia proudly.  But, my commitment to love extends far beyond sports.  What about yours?

Will you stay or will you go?

What Just Happened?

Sometimes in life, you're thrown a curve ball.  You're going through your everyday life as normal and * wham * something unexpected throws you for a loop.  Before you know it, your life has changed for the better or for the worse, but you never saw it coming.  All you can do is ask yourself, "what just happened?"

Someone once told me that "certain people are placed in your world to get you to a certain place in life."  I'm a firm believer of that statement.  I think that it is sage advice and that is very true.

I felt that way after losing The Mrs. to breast cancer last year.  Although she is no longer with me, I am in a better place as a person because of the time I had with her.  I didn't realize how much that I learned from her until I had to use it on my own.

We go through life expecting the people that we love to always be there each morning we awake.  We wake up thinking that today will be pretty much like yesterday, but that's not always the case.  Things change.  Our loved one could move on to another phase in life like an out of town job.  Maybe a change in lifestyle or a work schedule means that you're unable to see each other as much or at all.  Or maybe, God forbid, they pass away.

No one wants their "cheese moved," but the one constant in all of our lives is change.

You don't know what to do.  

You don't know what to say.  

You don't know where to go.  

However, it's how you adapt to change that defines you as a person.  You can let it negatively affect you which may lead to your life spiraling out of control.  Things start to have a domino effect on you and before you know it, an unfortunate situation has turned into multiple unfortunate situations.

Or you can meet the change head-on, face your fears, and go on with your life.  You realize that whatever you once had was just a piece of the puzzle in what you call "your life."  It was a part of your life that somehow makes you a better person, regardless if you realize it or not.  Also, aside from the person dying, whatever happened doesn't mean that person is gone from your life forever.  Just like the double helix pictured below, maybe your paths will cross again.

Who's Your Modeling Agency? Instagram?

I see so many models ladies on the web showing off for the camera.  They think that because they take "back shots" or show some skin that the 1,000 male followers they have makes them something they're not.  I know, I know, some of you are saying, "Q, why are you being so hard on these ladies?"  Well, it's because of what I encountered recently.

I received an e-mail from a young lady who wanted to be on my radio show.  She has over 2,000 followers on Twitter and almost 2,000 on Instagram.  I won't post any of her photos or give her name, but her "portfolio" basically consists of photos of her in nightclubs drinking from a champagne glass and flirting with the camera.

The young lady is attractive and her outfits don't look bad, but I can't help her.  I've had a video vixen on my show before and not only was she good-looking, she was also a theater major.  She also had an agent which said to me that she was serious about her career.  It was a pleasure to interview her as opposed to potentially talking to someone who hasn't made a dime (to my knowledge) off of her "work."

Models are in the business of advertising a product.  Don't think that Brooklyn Decker is in Sports Illustrated simply to show off her boobs.  She's selling those bikinis that you see her in.  Swimsuit companies pay her good money to make their products look desirable.

I'm all for promoting people who are trying to gain as much exposure for their craft as possible.  However, having a bunch of horny guys following you doesn't make you Sofia Vegara.  Photos of you drinking something "top shelf" in a swanky nightclub don't make you Gisele Bündchen either.

People, stop it.  I'm all for having fun, but just stop it.  You don't have 1,000+ followers because people think you're the next Tyra Banks.  You have 1,000+ followers because you're half-naked in every other photo.

Please learn the difference.