Twerking Is The New Harlem Shake

@Ida_homie referred to Robin Thicke as "Beetlejuice."

Here we go again...

It's time to give a history lesson.  Some people may argue that I sometimes live in the past.  Hmmph.  If people like me didn't bring up history, then young people would think that the world just started when they were born.

The Harlem Shake was revived and re-branded as something new and now another dance from back in the day has been resurrected into mainstream.

Two nights ago, Miley Cyrus performed on the MTV VMA's (Video Music Awards).  Why they give away awards for music videos is beyond me because I didn't know MTV showed videos any more.  I'm waiting on the name change to RTV (Reality TV).

Anyway, people on Twitter tore into Miley because of her attempt at twerking.  Twerking is a dance in which you generally use a lot of gyration / hip movement.  Some were upset at the criticism of her because they assumed people were attacking her for attempting what is stereotyped as a "black woman's dance."  That's not the case, in my opinion.  People were criticizing her because she sucks at twerking.  She tries so hard.  Good thing she's already rich.  I wish her transition from child star to adult well.

However, that's not the point I'm trying to make.  The thing I'm wondering is: how is twerking still around in 2013 and why is it done in public?

Most people may not be aware, but twerking has been around 20+ years.  In fact, the first time I heard the term was from a song back in my college days.  I can't remember the New Orleans rap artist's name, but he talked about twerking on the dance floor.  It is a dance once reserved for the privacy of the bedroom, nightclub, and strip club.  Now it's slipped into prime time TV because parents barely teach kids about what's inappropriate in public.

Twerking reached it's peak in the late-90's as a hardcore stripper dance used to excite men who tend to like it rough.  It wasn't made for 17-year old teen agers to do in YouTube videos and it definitely wasn't made for a former child star turned actress singer rapper dancer to do it on an awards show that attracts kids.

Don't get me wrong!  I love seeing ladies twerk, but I prefer that she's of age, first and foremost, that it's in the correct setting, and that she's actually skilled in doing it.  So, please keep twerking out of places your child can see it and save it for your loved one in the bedroom.  Keep it off the Vine videos, keep it off of award shows, and please keep it out of the grocery stores!


I'll ask, but I think that I know the answer: we can't keep inappropriate things from being mainstream in the public eye any more, can we?"

Childhood Crushes

When I was a teen, I had posters all over my wall. Posters from different women that I thought were hot. As a teen-aged boy, I was pretty picky about who I put on my wall. I didn't just go for any woman showing cleavage or bending over with a water hose. I only chose celebrities to grace my walls, especially my freshman year in college.

Although I was fond of women like Lynda Carter, Jayne Kennedy and Debbie Morgan, I was very selective of the posters that I bought. I'm unsure if posters are still huge sellers in the local Wal-Marts and K-Marts now, but when I was a teen, so many athletes and celebrities had their own poster. The first poster I remember buying with my own cash was a poster of Lisa Lisa the singer. When her album "Spanish Fly" debuted with the hit song, "Head to Toe," I instantly became a fan of hers. I can honestly say that I was just as big of a fan of her music as I was of her looks. "Lost in Emotion," "Little Jackie Wants to Be A Star," and "All Cried Out" were just a few of her hits from the mid-to-late 80's.

Thanks to Lisa Lisa, I was stuck in a light-skin/long hair phase when it came to women for a while. My dating habits reflected that as well until I got to college and met the most gorgeous, dark-skinned, short-haired beauty named Freda. Another story for another blog post, I guess.

Around the age of 16, I started playing tennis with a kid who was new to the neighborhood. He and I would go to the historical campus of Tougaloo College and play for hours. Because of my interest in the sport, I started watching more tennis on television. That's when I came across an Argentine who got my attention...

Gabriela Sabatini was a very popular tennis player in the late 80's/early 90's. On top of having good looks, she was a really good tennis player as well. While always sporting her Sergio Tacchini attire, she gave Steffi Graf fits on the tennis courts, although Steffi usually wound up winning. The very first time (and only time) I ever joined a fan club was for hers. I sent a letter off to Argentina along with $1.50 to start receiving her newsletter and also get a photo. It must have taken two months for me to receive my membership into her official club. In fact, by the time I received it, I'd forgotten I'd even sent off for it. In all honesty, I think that one letter was all I received and it did not contain a photo. It was a letter signed by her father welcoming me to the club and stating great things were to come.

Well, I'm still waiting. Gabby, you owe me $1.50.

When it was time for me to move on to college, I packed my posters and brought them with me. I'd accumulated quite a few of them and a dormitory wall seemed like the perfect gallery setting. I had Apollonia, Sheila E., Vanity, and Sheila Easton to name a few. If you have no idea who any of those women are, then you were probably born after 1985.

I treasured each and everyone of those posters in my collection, but I would have thrown them all away for one poster of the next lady...

Pamela Suzette Grier. I had no clue Pam even existed until my college roommate and I decided to rent a movie one Friday night. We wanted something we'd never seen before and it had to contain action. We stumbled across "Foxy Brown" and we were hooked like Rush Limbaugh on painkillers. Pam Grier was the absolute most stunning woman to ever grace the movie screen. If anyone wanted to argue with me that the 1974 version of Pam Grier was not the finest woman to ever walk the planet, then I would immediately Amish-rake fight them. Try me. Just try me.

My roommate and I started renting her movies every single weekend. "Coffy," "Sheba, Baby" and more. On a Friday night, close to 10 guys would be in our dorm room watching (what we didn't know at the time) the first black action heroine. Between her and Cynthia Rothrock (blow the dust off of that name), we had action-packed weekends when it came to movies. I was pretty much out of "poster mode" in this point of my life. I had my first long-term girlfriend and she "grandfathered" my old posters in, but wouldn't have been too happy about buying any new ones. Besides, Pam Grier's movies were almost two decades old when I started watching them. I wouldn't have been able to find any posters of her any way. She'd temporarily stopped doing movies during a four year stint on "Miami Vice" and never stumbled upon anything big again until Quentin Tarantino's "Jackie Brown" came out in 1997. And she was still good-looking at age 46 in that movie. But, had I been born a decade earlier, I'm sure I would have had her poster.

So, here I am now, 20+ years later, blogging about these ladies who were my childhood crushes. I decided to Google them to see what they look like now and what they're doing. Pam Grier is still in the acting business and will appear in a movie later this year. Lisa Lisa had a solo comeback about three years ago that I've yet to hear, so I'm guessing that it didn't hit the Billboard Top 100. Gabriela Sabatini is back in Argentina and doing a lot of charity work from what I've read. I also read that she's still single. No sense in pissing off The Mrs., so I'll keep my comments to myself.

Before you could follow a celebrity on a social network, you could put a poster on your wall or join their fan club to connect with them. Unlike today, where celebs saturate us with Instagrams of themselves and re-tweet more than a stuttering baby bird, you only had talk show interviews and magazine articles to learn about them.

Below are all three ladies in the most recent photos that I could find. I think that time has been kind to all three of them. I have no idea where my posters are at this time. They could have met their demise once I moved from college back home. They could be in my parents' storage room in their back yard. I haven't a clue. All I know is this: if I could find them at this very moment.... I'd sell them on eBay faster than a ho outrunning a pimp. What? You thought that nostalgia would make me keep them?

You haven't been reading my blog long enough.  Money is a motivator...

Lisa (Lisa) Velez, 46; Gabriela Sabatini, 41; Pam Grier, 62

Who were your childhood crushes?