Whatever Happened to the Love in Christmas?

Remember when Christmas used to mean something? When Jesus was the reason for the season? When the tree wasn’t just an Instagram backdrop, the dinner table wasn’t full of faces lit by phone screens, and the joy of the season wasn’t measured by how many Amazon boxes showed up on the porch? Somewhere between Rudolph and reality TV, Christmas lost its love—and we all just shrugged and scrolled on by. 

🎄 From Charlie Brown to Cheap Laughs

Once upon a time, families would gather around the TV for animated Christmas specials that actually taught something. You didn’t have to be religious to feel the warmth of A Charlie Brown Christmas or Frosty the Snowman. These shows displayed love, meaning, and a sense of togetherness.

Now? Those heartfelt classics are being replaced by celebrity game shows and Christmas “competitions.” Instead of teaching kindness or gratitude, we’re watching who can stack the tallest gingerbread tower or guess the most holiday songs for cash. Nothing says “holiday spirit” like contestants fighting over prizes while commercials remind you to spend more money you don’t have.

💰 Capitalism in a Santa Suit

The holidays used to be about love, reflection, and family. Now it’s about “doorbusters,” “limited drops,” and “buy now, pay later.” Christmas has been hijacked by capitalism in a red velvet suit. It’s no longer a celebration—it’s a sales event.

Black Friday used to be the day after Thanksgiving. Now it’s the week month before. Christmas decorations are in stores before Halloween candy even goes on clearance. And let’s be honest: most people are stressing over how much they have to buy instead of who they’re buying for.

Every year, millions of people go deeper into debt just to “make Christmas special.” But how special can it be when the bills hit in January and the joy turns into anxiety?

📱 The Death of Family Time

Family dinners used to be the centerpiece of the holidays. Now, it’s an exercise in silence—everyone sitting around the table scrolling through TikTok, pretending to be present while mentally somewhere else.

Even watching Christmas movies together has turned into individual screen time. One person’s watching Elf on Netflix, another’s on YouTube watching gift hauls, and someone else is deep in a group chat. The TV used to bring people together. Now, every screen pulls us apart.

🏠 The Divided Christmas

For many blended families, Christmas is a scheduling nightmare. Kids are shuttled from one parent’s house to another like packages in transit. Half of Christmas morning is spent packing, not playing. Everyone’s trying to make the most of their “time,” but it’s hard to find peace when the calendar feels like a custody battle.

It’s not anyone’s fault—life changes, families evolve—but it’s sad that the magic of togetherness often gets lost in the logistics.

🎁 The Entitlement Era

Kids today are growing up in a world where gifts show up all year long—birthdays, random “surprises,” TikTok trends, and “back to school hauls.” So when Christmas rolls around, it’s just another day of unboxing.

When every day feels like Christmas, Christmas stops feeling special. And when gifts become expectations instead of blessings, gratitude gets buried under wrapping paper.

💔 The Hard Truth

The holidays were supposed to bring joy, peace, and love. But now they bring pressure, debt, and disconnection. People are chasing the “perfect Christmas” for the wrong reasons—more likes, better photos, flashier gifts.

Meanwhile, the real spirit of the season—love, gratitude, forgiveness, and family—is quietly fading.

Maybe it’s time to unplug, slow down, and find that spirit again. Because Christmas doesn’t live in store shelves or social media posts—it lives in people. And until we start acting like it, we’ll keep losing the love that made the season worth celebrating in the first place.

Christmas used to fill hearts. Now it fills credit card statements. Let’s change that before it’s too late.

(Happy 19th birthday to my wonderful god daughter, Erin.)

(Happy 33rd anniversary to my brother and his wife.)

We Don’t Argue Anymore—We Perform

Remember when a disagreement was just that—a disagreement? Two people, maybe more, hashing things out over coffee, a kitchen table, or a group text that hadn’t yet turned into a battleground. Back then, the goal was clarity. Understanding. Maybe even compromise. Now? Every disagreement feels like a dress rehearsal for a TED Talk nobody asked for.

We’re not debating to understand—we’re auditioning for validation.

Scroll through any comment section and you’ll see it: folks aren’t trying to make sense, they’re trying to make noise. Every podcast clip, every stitched reaction, every “hot take” is less about truth and more about applause. It’s not “What do you think?” anymore—it’s “Watch me win.” 

We used to argue to sharpen ideas. Now we argue to trend.

And let’s be honest: it’s not about being right—it’s about being seen as right. The loudest voice usually wins, not the wisest one. The algorithm doesn’t reward nuance. It rewards volume. Certainty. Swagger. Even if it’s the dumbest thing anyone has ever seen, heard, or read.

But here’s the thing: strong thinkers don’t need an audience to be right.

They don’t need likes, shares, or followers to make sense. What they need is logic, patience, and humility—the kind of qualities that don’t get you clicks but do earn you respect. The kind of mindset that says, “I’m here to learn, not just to be heard.”

Real maturity shows up when you care more about understanding than winning. At one time understanding was the goal, right?

When you listen without rehearsing your rebuttal. When you can say, “You might have a point,” instead of “You just don’t get it.” That’s grown-folk energy, Church. That’s the kind of conversation that builds bridges instead of burning them.

Because grown folks don’t perform—they process. They listen to gain perspective. 

They don’t argue for show—they discuss for growth. They know that being loud isn’t the same as being clear. That being viral isn’t the same as being valuable.

We just have to start listening again. Not for the applause. Not for the retweets. But for the kind of understanding that doesn’t trend—but lasts. Viral is temporary. Value is forever.

No One’s Coming to Save You (And That’s a Good Thing)

Let’s go ahead and rip the Band-Aid off: No one is obligated to rescue you from the chaos that you have created. 

I know, I know. That sounds harsh and the ladies will hate me after this post. But if you’re here for sugarcoating, you’re on the wrong blog. This is Thank, Q for Common Sense, where I serve reality straight up with no chaser. Just the bitter truth. I'm a life referee and I call it like I see it.

🧹 A Man Is Not Your Mop

There’s a troubling trend I keep seeing among women and it’s time we talk about it. It’s this fantasy that a man is supposed to be the human equivalent of a clean-up crew. Not just Prince Charming, but Prince CPA, Prince Therapist, Prince Financial Planner, and Prince Super-Stepdad. All rolled into one.

Let me be crystal clear: That’s not a partner. That’s a professional life manager. And guess what? They don’t come free, and they’re not signing up to be shackled to your unresolved mess.

It's time that ladies reclaim a partnership with men instead of a transactional one. If you feel like you deserve to have a certain dollar amount spent on you for dinner, then be a professional escort. But if you're truly looking for a significant other, then your focus should be on what kind of guy he is and not what he can spend on you.

🚨 Your Chaos, Your Chore

I’m talking about the women who are drowning in debt, have no clear career path, and are lugging around emotional baggage like it’s designer luggage. Yet they’re out here dating with the unspoken expectation that a man will swoop in and stabilize their lives.

Wanting a partner who’s financially responsible and emotionally mature? There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. That’s called having standards. Expecting him to fix your finances or parent your kids just because he’s dating you? That’s called manipulation and entitlement.

Let’s break it down:

• 💳 Your Debt Is Yours: If you’ve racked up $20K in credit card debt, that’s your tab. Expecting a man to pay it off isn’t romantic—it’s transactional. He’s not your ATM with abs.

• 👶🏾 Your Kids, Your Responsibility: If you’re a parent, that’s your primary job. A good man will respect your children, maybe even love them—but “stepdad” isn’t a title you assign on Date #2. It’s earned, not assumed. He doesn't owe your kids jack until something real has been established.

🧠 The “Rescue Me” Mentality Is a Trap

Here’s the real kicker: this mindset doesn’t just burden men—it keeps women stuck.

When you’re always looking for someone else to fix your life, you give away your power. You become passive, dependent, and ultimately unattractive—not because you have problems, but because you refuse to own them. Guys are natural fixers, but we hate having problems thrown in our faces. Especially from someone who only creates more without solving previous concerns.

But when you bring calm to your chaos? You meet a partner on equal footing. You’re not a project. You’re a whole person. And that’s sexy. That's someone a guy can partner with to get some things done.

🛠️ Common Sense Call to Action

Let’s put it like this:

• 🏡 Get Your House in Order: Before you go looking for love, get your finances straight. Go to therapy. Build a life you’re proud of—one that doesn’t need rescuing.

• 🤝 Date a Partner, Not a Provider: Find someone who complements your life, not someone who’s expected to sustain it. A partner adds value—they don’t fill a void.

• 💁🏽‍♀️ Offer Substance, Not a Project: A woman who’s handling her business isn’t intimidating—she’s irresistible. She says, “I don’t need your resources, but I want your partnership.” That’s power. That's what attracts men who have careers and deters boys who have a PS5 addiction.

Because here’s the truth: Two stable people build a stable relationship. Two half-people just build a mess.

So take the wheel and realize that you’re the hero you’ve been waiting for. You are the solver of your problems. Once you accept your mission then it's all downhill from there. But you have to own it!

What do you think? Have you seen this “rescue me” mindset play out in real life? Drop your thoughts in the comments—let’s talk about it.

When Did Respect Become Negotiable?

There was a time when respect wasn’t up for debate. You didn’t need a blue check, a big platform, or a viral moment—just character. People earned respect by how they carried themselves, not by how many people were watching.

But somewhere along the way, respect turned into a popularity contest. We started confusing attention with value. If someone’s rich, loud, or trending, they get treated like royalty. Meanwhile, decency has to beg for a seat at the table. 

Here’s the truth: respect isn’t about admiration—it’s about acknowledgment. You don’t have to like everyone, but you should respect the boundaries and principles that keep chaos from becoming culture.

We’ve confused attention with value. We’ve mistaken noise for worth. And in doing so, we’ve let the loudest voices rewrite the rules. Respect used to be the floor. Now people act like it’s a reward you unlock after going viral.

But here’s the thing: when respect becomes negotiable, so does every standard that keeps society from spiraling out of control. Manners matter. Boundaries matter. Dignity matters. Not because everyone’s flawless—but because everyone’s human.

So let’s bring back basic respect. Not the performative kind. Not the clout-chasing kind. The kind that doesn’t need a spotlight to show up. The kind that reminds us we’re all sharing the same space—and nobody’s too important to be decent.

Some Things DON'T Need to Be Said

We live in an era where oversharing isn’t just common—it’s encouraged. Social media tempts us to broadcast every detail of our lives, from what we ate for lunch (guilty as charged) to the private arguments we had last night. But dignity, peace of mind, and true self-respect don’t come from putting everything on display.

Some things are better left unsaid. Some things are better left unposted. And if you want to maintain a sense of dignity in a world obsessed with exposure, you’ll need to learn the art of privacy. 

Here are six areas of your life you should always protect:

1. Personal conversations

When someone trusts you enough to confide in you, that’s a bond worth protecting. Repeating private conversations, whether out of gossip or casual oversharing, doesn’t just betray their trust, it damages your reputation. If you want to be known as a person of integrity, learn to hold on to what others share with you in confidence.

2. Being nice to people

Doing good for others is one of life’s greatest joys. But the moment you post it for clout, it’s no longer about the kindness—it’s about your ego. Generosity should come from the heart, not from the hope of likes, retweets, or applause. Quiet compassion carries more dignity than performative charity ever will. And using the excuse "I'm trying to raise awareness to encourage others" is a lie.

3. Your relationship drama

Every relationship has storms. But dragging your personal drama onto the public stage only makes the wounds deeper. Arguments, betrayals, or disappointments should be worked out privately with your partner, a counselor, or trusted confidants. Protecting the privacy of your relationships isn’t just about respect for others—it’s about preserving your own dignity. And if you and that person iron things out and get back together, how are your friends going to react after you trashed your partner and create a bias against them? They probably won't forgive your boo even if you do.

4. Your bank account

Money talks—but sometimes it’s best left silent. Whether you’re struggling to make ends meet or sitting on six figures, your financial situation is yours to manage, not to broadcast. Flaunting wealth can spark envy, while oversharing struggles can invite judgment. Handle your money with humility and responsibility, not as a tool for validation. 

5. Your family issues

Every family has issues. But airing dirty laundry rarely helps. Publicizing family drama creates shame, resentment, and wounds that last longer than the fight itself. Real healing happens in private, where conversations can be raw but also restorative. Family conflicts deserve discretion, not public consumption.

6. Your personal beefs

Nothing drains dignity faster than bitterness on display. Yes, people hurt us. Yes, life is unfair. But parading every grievance makes you look stuck in the past. Resentments are best worked through privately, with reflection, forgiveness, or even therapy. Carrying anger publicly burns your reputation far more than it scorches your enemies. Emotions and logic cannot exist in the same place, so stop allowing "how you feel" make you stupid.

Final Thoughts

Dignity is often less about what you share and more about what you protect. In a world that thrives on oversharing, boundaries are power. When you choose to keep acts of kindness, financial details, relationship challenges, family conflicts, private conversations, and personal grudges to yourself—you gain peace, strength, and respect.

Privacy isn’t about hiding. It’s about holding on to what truly matters. And the more you protect your dignity, the more freely you can live.

When Money Becomes the Matchmaker (or Matchbreaker)

💔 Love doesn’t pay the bills — and sometimes, it doesn’t even survive them.

You know how folks say “love conquers all”? Wait until unpaid bills, bad credit scores, and impulsive shopping sprees show up. So many people have gone on record to say that they have (or would) end a relationship due to financial incompatibility.

Should they be looked down upon because of that?

Why Financial Compatibility Is a Big Deal

Here in the U.S. a lot of people prefer to be financially compatible with their partner, and I'm guessing that a majority of them would say it’s very important. 

Still, it’s no surprise that misaligned values when it comes to finances can derail things. Incompatible partners frequently have issues with their mates:

• Overspending 

• Bad budgeting

• Not saving enough (if at all)

• Not making enough money

A lot of people raise an eyebrow to those who may inquire about finances in the relationship, but at some point, it's something that needs to be discussed. Can you support me? Or will you bring me down? It matters.

Generation Gap + Money Fights = Trouble

Here’s a twist: younger generations seem more likely to battle over money. Millennials and Gen Z report more frequent money fights than older couples from what I've read in a couple of articles. Also, men are more likely than women to claim they fight often about money.

Another surprise: a lot of young couples (and a few older ones) avoid talking about money altogether. And that's because they know that their views don't align with their partners. Rather than get on the same page and handle the household as a unit they choose to withhold information to not be seen as a liability. After all, them doing what they want to do is more important than unity so "quiet is kept".

But guess what — silence is dangerous.

Talking Money Isn’t Optional — It’s Essential

Here’s some “Q wisdom” (I just made that up) to live by if you want your relationship to survive:

1. Don’t ambush your partner.
   Surprise financial interrogations never go well. Let your partner know ahead of time you want to talk money. 

2. Make it a chat, not an audit.
   You don’t have to dump all account statements on the table right away. Start with attitudes, priorities, dreams. (“If you won $1 million, what’s the first thing you’d do?” is a great icebreaker.) 

3. Expect disagreement.
   You will see things differently. That’s okay. What matters is how you negotiate those differences — with patience, respect, and openness.

4. Watch for refusal.
   If your partner shuts down the talk or refuses entirely, that’s a red flag. You can’t build trust or shared goals if one side holds back. You may be on your way to a "money fight".

5. Revisit financial alignment periodically.
   People change. Goals shift. What felt compatible at 30 years old might feel suffocating at 35. Keep the conversation ongoing.

Bottom Line (see what I did there?)

Money is one of those things that touches everything — and in relationships, it can either be a solid foundation or a hidden fault line.

If you want your love to last, talk money early, talk money often, and talk money without judgment. Align enough on values and behaviors so that when storms come (and they will), you’re paddling in the same direction.

And if you’re ever wondering whether your partner is “the one” — see if you can talk openly about finances, without defensiveness, before you get too invested emotionally. That one conversation might save a lot of heartache.

The Problem With Modern Parenting

Parenting in today’s world often looks very different from the past. Many parents think they’re setting their children up for success, but in reality, some modern parenting habits may be leaving kids unprepared for the challenges of adulthood. From over-scheduling to over-protecting, parents may be unintentionally stunting their children’s growth.

It’s common today to see parents doing almost everything for their kids. Instead of encouraging independence, many parents swoop in at the first sign of struggle. Children aren’t expected to problem-solve on their own, and as a result, they miss out on the confidence and resilience that come from overcoming obstacles. 

When I was growing up, I spent afternoons playing with neighbors, navigating social conflicts naturally. Now, most interactions happen in structured, adult-supervised environments—whether it’s sporting activities, music lessons, or whatever after-school program comes to mind. While these activities can be cool, they shouldn't replace the unstructured play that teaches kids how to negotiate, compromise, and build real friendships. "Arranged" friendships shouldn't be the only form of building camaraderie.

And what's even more tripped out is that many kids today have busier schedules than their parents. Between soccer, gymnastics, and band practice, children are shuffled from one activity to another. Instead of mastering one skill or learning the value of focus, they dabble in everything. For parents, this becomes a way to maintain control while still being able to say, “My kid is active.”

Chores, early mornings, and uncomfortable tasks are often avoided in modern households. Yet, these small challenges build discipline and responsibility. When children never face discomfort at home, they’re unprepared for the uncomfortable realities of adult life. Whether it’s waking up for a job, handling awkward social situations, or bouncing back from rejection.

Parents can’t sit in on job interviews (although many have) or make sure their kids get to work on time forever. When children grow up sheltered and dependent, they enter adulthood without the skills needed to navigate it. This often leads to entitlement, lack of accountability, and even parents stepping in well into their child’s adulthood.

And to top it off, a lot of parents are raising kids solo. So that makes it twice as hard to prepare your child for adulthood. 

Many parents embrace the mindset: “I’ll give my child everything I never had.” But maybe the better mindset is: “I’ll teach my child everything I was never taught.” Kids need discipline, independence, and real-world preparation—not just opportunities and material comforts.

Parenting with love and protection is important but so is preparing kids for life outside the home. The goal isn’t to raise a child who is merely “active” but to raise an adult who is capable, confident, and independent. 

Because, God forbid, if you die, then how would your child survive without you? A lioness doesn't feed her cub until its full-grown. It only does it until the cub is old enough to go hunting with her to learn. Birds don't feed their babies until they are full-grown. Some will even push their kids out of the safety of the nest to teach them to fly.

If the animals in the wild have it figured out, then why is it so hard for humans to grasp the concept of "preparation" over "pampering"? Stop trying to be a friend and be a parent. It's the job you signed up for.

I’ll Never Be the “Cool Old Guy” And It Sucks

I’m 53 years old, and it finally hit me... I’ll never be "cool" in the eyes of young people.

When I was growing up, things were different. Older people were respected, even admired. My uncles, my elders, and even the older guys down the street had a kind of authority. They carried wisdom, life experience, and a quiet confidence that made them role models in a way. To me, they weren’t “out of touch”. They were legends. OGs.

But somewhere along the way, that changed.

Today, the younger generation doesn’t look at people my age with respect or curiosity. Instead, they often dismiss us as outdated, irrelevant, or even annoying. We’re not mentors. We’re “has-beens.” And no matter how hard I try, I’ll never be the “cool old guy” that my ancestors were to me.

When I think about my childhood, I realize why my elders had so much respect. Back then it was harder to get knowledge. Outside of an encyclopedia or a library, you were stuck. If you wanted to learn something, you had to ask someone older or more experienced.

Back then tradition mattered. Culture and family history were passed down through stories, and elders were the keepers of those stories. Family stories rarely get passed down today as they did back then. And when you factor in so many blended families in society that we have now, it's even more rare to keep up with family history.

Back then patience was taught. Life wasn’t so fast-paced. People slowed down to listen and genuinely had interest in what you had to say most of the time. And even if they weren't interested, somehow what was being said still stuck somewhere in their mind to be retrieved later.

In short, older people had something that young people needed. Not anymore.

Fast forward to now, and everything has flipped. Information is everywhere. So much of it is probably not true, but verification isn't important in present-day America. With Google, TikTok, and YouTube, young people don’t feel they need to ask anyone for guidance.

Fast forward to now, and even the trends don't last long anymore. I thought my uncles were cool in their 70's clothing but fashion rarely lasts a decade now. By the time something catches on, the next wave has already started.

Fast forward to now and getting older isn't aspirational anymore. Instead of looking forward to maturity, youth culture glorifies staying young forever. To be fair, people my age tend to enjoy the youth culture a little too much as well. Maybe that's where some of the lack of respect comes from, huh? (Message!)

It hurts to admit, but I’ve noticed it in my own life. I walk into a room of young people, and instead of being seen as someone with stories to tell or lessons to share, I’m seen as outdated background noise.

The cruel irony is this: I really wanted to grow into one of those wise, cool elders I once admired. But the role doesn’t even exist anymore—not in the way it used to. I wanted to be the guy who pointed "finger guns" towards a guy and said, "watch out there now, young fella!"

Well, maybe not to that extreme, but you get my drift.

Still, maybe there’s another side to this. Maybe being “cool” to young people shouldn’t be the goal. Maybe it’s enough to pass down values, even if they don’t seem interested now. My goddaughter is 18 years old, and she listens to me still. We'll see how long that lasts. Her brother pretty much stopped at 20 years old, but I still think that he gets what I'm saying most of the time.

Maybe it’s about leading by example, showing resilience, patience, and grace. That's always easy, right? Just exist and keep doing what I've been doing, and it will be recognized.  I can always hope.

Maybe the respect comes later, when they’re older and finally understand. Only time will tell. Maybe I won't be too senile to recognize it if it does.

Because deep down, I know my uncles weren’t “cool” because they tried to impress anyone. They were cool because they were authentic, grounded, and unapologetically themselves. And that's all I ever strive to be. The best version of me that I can offer the world.

I'll never be the “cool old guy", and it sucks. But maybe coolness is overrated. What lasts longer than cool is character. And while they may not see it now, one day they might look back and recognize the value of the people they once brushed aside.

Until then, I’ll keep living my life with the quiet dignity my elders showed me. And who knows? Maybe one day, when the noise of youth fades, wisdom will matter again.

Government Shutdown: Why Are We the Ones Being Grounded?

Here we go again. The government can’t get its act together, and guess who ends up suffering? Not the senators. Not the congressmen or women. Not the people collecting checks for showing up to argue on the 24-hour news networks. Nope. 

It’s us. 

The taxpayers. The citizens. The people just trying to live our lives without needing a freaking PhD to understand why our government keeps wetting the bed when it comes to basic functionality.

We’re watching Democrats and Republicans lock horns again. And neither side wants to appear weak. Meanwhile, air traffic controllers, TSA agents, and other federal employees are being told to show up and work for free. FOR FREE!!!

Think about that for a second. The people responsible for keeping airplanes from crashing above our heads are clocking in without paychecks. Would you show up to your job every day, on time, and focused, if you weren’t getting paid? Didn’t think so.

Now, many are calling in sick and who can blame them? That’s not laziness. That’s human nature. The result? 

• Shortages and flight delays across the country. 
• Travelers are stranded. 
• Businesses are losing money. 
• Families are missing connections. 

All because the people we elected to represent us can’t manage to pass a budget without turning it into a political hostage situation. 

And here’s the part that really runs me hot: why is our system designed this way? Why do regular people get punished when politicians fail to do their jobs? If the government can’t function, then it should be their paychecks that stop first, not ours. Why should families go without? Why should essential workers suffer? All because Washington wants to play a game of “chicken” with the nation’s wellbeing?

Then there’s the issue of how they vote. Why are they packaging hundreds of bills together and voting on them as one giant lump sum? If a bill is good enough to stand on its own, then vote on it individually. But they don’t. Because lumping it all together gives both sides cover. They can say, “Well, I didn’t want to vote against [insert good policy], but it was attached to [insert bad policy].”

That’s not governance. That’s manipulation. 

And to think that we keep putting these same people in office simply because they have a "D" or an "R" by their names. That means we're part of the problem, too. We want our party to win even if it means that "we the people lose." SMH.

And finally, the question no one in Washington wants to ask: if the people we elect can’t find common ground, why don’t we get to break the tie? If Congress can’t decide, put it to the people. Let us vote on the key issues. If this is supposed to be a government “of the people, by the people, for the people,” then maybe it’s time we started acting like it.

Until then, we’ll just keep getting grounded—literally and figuratively—while they argue over who gets the window seat in first class.

I once saw a quote that said, "A system that punishes the people for its own incompetence isn’t broken—it’s built that way."

Truer words have never been said.

Thanks to my friend, Angela Marino of Texas, for inspiring this post. 

People Lie A Lot

Not all lies are based on scams and infidelity.  Some people lie because of their pride.  As I've gotten older, I see that more often than anything else these days.  I'll give you two examples:

Men tend to do it to prevent from looking naive.  Some guys will act as if they "know-it-all" to impress you rather than admitting that they could use some help with whatever that they are doing.  Example: A guy I know started a podcast.  I've been podcasting for over a decade.  I know that the type of podcast that you wish to have and the frequency that you plan on doing it can determine what kind of setup you may need.  When he told me his plan, I told him to reach out to me if he needed some insight or advice purchasing equipment.  He told me that he had it figured out and did his research and knew exactly what he wanted to buy.

He spent almost $1300 for his podcasting equipment for something that fizzled out in less than a month.  Then he asked me if I wanted to buy any of his equipment.  I told him, "No.  I'd never spend that much on equipment in the first place unless I was making my podcast a full-time job."  His pride made him lie to me in the beginning when he said that he knew what he was doing when he didn't.  And that was a very expensive lesson to him.  I'm not saying that I'm an expert, but I do have experience, and sometimes two heads are better than one.

Women lie for pride's sake, but for different reasons.  I once worked with a young lady who would participate in relationship discussions with us in the break room from time-to-time.  She always bragged about how she is just "doing her" and isn't paying men any attention.  She said that she was abstaining from sex and would make the next man wait because "she knew her worth".  She was always the most vocal whenever we participated in the conversations.  No man was ever going to get over on her!

Well, to this day, she doesn't know that I knew the guy that she was sleeping with at the time.  Ms. Abstinence actually had a restraining order against her for stalking him and his girlfriend.  He'd already bragged to me prior to my break room conversations with her that he'd slept with her a few times and she wouldn't leave him alone and she ultimately started harassing his woman.

All while she was telling us how she was "this and that" every day, dude was passing his phone around regularly showing nude pics of her. It made me feel badly for her to wonder how many people knew she was lying about how she "handles" men.

Look, we all lie.  But it's more to it than doing so to get out of trouble these days.  Social media tends to influence some of us to appear a certain way that we're not in real life.  How many times has someone that you know very well posted something that you knew wasn't true?  More than you can count?

Guys, it's okay to say, "I don't know" instead of acting like you know what you're doing and costing yourself time and money.  Tell someone "I need your help" with something and learn to take instructions sometimes.

Ladies, you may want to reconsider some of the things you claim you do or don't do with guys because guys talk more than ever these days.  There is no longer a code that guys live by.  Don't have these guys fool you into thinking that they don't "kiss and tell" and have you looking stupid in these streets.

It's time for all of us to be adults and to stop lying.

The Mannings vs. The Sanders: Two Families, Two Cultures, One Game

If there’s one thing football has always been good at, it’s showing us who America really is. You don’t even need to look at the scoreboard — just watch how we talk about players, how we celebrate them, and how we tear them down. Nowhere is that clearer than when you compare two of the sport’s “first families”: the Mannings and the Sanders.

On one side, you’ve got the Mannings — Archie, Peyton, Eli, and the new kid on the block, Arch. The clean-cut Southern gentlemen of football. The type who’ll throw for 450 yards, four touchdowns, beat you by 28 points and still say “it was a team effort” in the postgame interview. They don’t talk trash, they don’t dance in the end zone, and they definitely don’t remind you how great they are — even though everyone already knows.

Then you’ve got the Sanders clan — Deion, Shilo, and Shedeur — the walking embodiment of “I told you so.” The shades, the chains, the music, the swagger, the showmanship. Theirs is a brand of confidence that was born in barbershops and raised on the block. It’s unapologetically loud. It’s meant to be seen. Because for generations, if you weren’t seen, you were invisible.

Here’s the thing though: neither family is wrong. They’re just different expressions of greatness. The Mannings built a legacy through quiet dominance. The Sanders built theirs through loud excellence. But our reaction to each says more about us than it does about them.

Mainstream America has always had a soft spot for the Mannings — the wholesome image, the self-deprecating humor, the humble superstar vibe. That’s the “right” way to succeed. It’s the classic narrative of the quiet professional, the humble champion. They receive the benefit of the doubt, the presumption of excellence, the infinite grace. But when Deion celebrates his way? When Shedeur points to his watch after a touchdown or posts a highlight-laced reel on Instagram? Suddenly, it’s “cocky,” “disrespectful,” or “too much.”

The contrast is cultural, not moral. In Black culture, being flashy isn’t arrogance — it’s celebration. It’s survival. It’s the way you honor the work it took to get there. Historically, culturally, the Black experience is often rooted in expressive, loud, and yes, sometimes "flashy" displays of achievement and personality. It's a style that commands attention, often because it has to. It’s the complete opposite of "act like you've been there before"; it's "let them know you're here now and you deserve to be celebrated." In white culture, aka "Mainstream America," humility is the gold standard. The Mannings fit that mold perfectly! The Sanders don’t. And that difference is exactly why one family is seen as “classy” and the other as “showy.”

When a white athlete like Peyton or Eli is reserved, it’s seen as humility. When a Black athlete like Deion or Shedeur is reserved, they can sometimes go unnoticed (ever heard of Herman Moore or Everson Walls?). But when a Black athlete is expressive and loud, it's often labeled as arrogance, a lack of respect, or a distraction. It's a double standard as old as the game itself. 

Now, fast-forward to 2025. Arch Manning and Shedeur Sanders are both trying to carve their own paths. And if we’re honest, neither has lived up to the mountain of expectations yet. But look at how the narrative plays out — Arch is “still developing,” “just needs time.” Shedeur? “Overrated,” “too distracted by fame.”

See the pattern? Same struggle, different storyline.

The Mannings represent America’s comfort zone — steady, predictable, respectable. The Sanders represent what makes America uncomfortable — confidence without apology, success that talks back. And when you line those two energies up, it’s not just football anymore. It is a cultural commentary wrapped in shoulder pads and touchdown dances.

At the end of the day, football is big enough for both. There’s room for the Manning handshake and the Sanders two-step. But the question is — can America handle both equally? Or do we still only have grace for greatness when it comes dressed in a quiet suit instead of designer shades?

Because one thing’s for sure: both families have changed the game. But only one has been allowed to do it without having to explain why.

Unhappiness is Contagious

I’ve met a ton of unhappy people in my life. People who will suck the life right out of you. And before you misunderstand, let me clarify: the “unhappy” I’m talking about isn’t the kind of sadness you feel when something genuinely tragic happens. For example, the loss of a beloved pet. No, the kind of unhappiness I mean is deeper and more insidious: “My life sucks, and I won’t feel better about myself until yours does too.”

(Side note: I've always wanted to use the word "insidious" in a sentence.)

Whether in my career or personal relationships, I’ve encountered people whose sole purpose seems to be to get out of bed and make everyone else’s life as miserable as their own. This is not just a personality quirk but more of a symptom of a larger problem. Depression and mental health struggles are pervasive in our society, and they need attention.

But here’s the thing: medicine alone isn’t always the answer. Sure, therapy and, in some cases, medication can help, but happiness often comes from simpler, everyday practices. Recreational therapy type of things like art, music, sports, and play can be incredibly effective, especially for kids. Teaching people that they don’t need certain material possessions, social status, or external validation to be happy is crucial.

"Comparison is the biggest thief of joy."  So many people look at what they see on TV, in movies, or on social media and feel like they don’t measure up. They believe that if their life doesn’t look a certain way, there’s something wrong with them. This mindset can be a breeding ground for unhappiness, creating a cycle where dissatisfaction breeds resentment. And that resentment spreads.

So, what can we do? Protecting your energy is key. Recognize when someone is trying to drag you into their negativity and set boundaries. Focus on your own growth and well-being. And remember: happiness isn’t about having everything—it’s about appreciating what you have and finding joy in the present moment.

At the end of the day, the world is full of people struggling with their own demons. But by focusing on our own joy and teaching future generations to do the same, we can break the cycle and build a culture where happiness isn’t a luxury—it’s a habit.

Stuck on Repeat

Scroll through your social media feed and take a closer look. How many of your friends are living the exact same lives they were when you first joined?

Think about it:

• They’re still single.

• They’re still “working on themselves.”

• They’re still posting motivational quotes.

• They’re still complaining about their job.

• They’re still bitter about their ex.

• They’re still… miserable.

It’s like watching a loop. Different year. Same problems. Same posts.

The truth is, social media makes it easy to create an illusion of progress. A quote here, a “new chapter” caption there. It looks like growth, but behind the screen, nothing has really changed.

Why does this happen? Change is uncomfortable, and staying the same is easy. Or a post gets likes, and that little hit of approval feels like progress. And sometimes it’s safer to keep saying “I’m working on myself” than to risk trying something new and failing.

But here’s the thing: years pass, and nothing shifts unless you do. Self-work without action is just procrastination dressed up in positivity.

So the next time you scroll and notice the same old posts, ask yourself—am I stuck too?

Because the only thing worse than watching someone else stay the same… is realizing you’ve been doing it too.

That's something that I've had to deal with when it comes to weight loss. I don't post on social media about it, but year-after-year, I'm stuck in the same place.

So know that this post isn't about judgment on others for their struggles because we all struggle with something. But sometimes it takes something grabbing your attention to realize that things are stagnant and that we want to be in a different and better place a year from now.

Is There Racism in Politics and the Laws They Create?

Let’s stop pretending for a moment. Politics is not neutral. Laws are not neutral. They are written, voted on, and enforced by people. And people bring their biases into everything they do. If a society is built on racist assumptions, then the politics and the laws of that society will reflect those same assumptions. 

If you doubt that, look at the record. Slavery was legal. Jim Crow was legal. Redlining was legal. School segregation, immigration bans based on race — all legal until someone had the courage to challenge them. The question isn’t whether racism exists in politics. The real question is: how could it not? 

Racism in lawmaking didn’t end in the 1960s. Today, we see voting restrictions that disproportionately target communities of color. We see sentencing disparities where a Black person and a white person can commit the same crime and face very different punishments. We see immigration policies that treat certain groups as more “deserving” than others. These aren’t accidents. They’re choices. And those choices protect power — usually the power of wealthy, white, and male elites. 

Politics is the art of protecting the interests of those in charge. If you’ve always had the money, the land, the education, and the connections, laws will be written to keep things that way. That’s why racism is baked into the system: it’s profitable for those who benefit from it. 

Now, I want to be clear. This post focuses on race. That means I'm currently putting less attention on other forces at play — like class, gender, or economics. And I admit, my examples are U.S.-centric, because that’s where I’ve spent my life. Other countries deal with different histories, like colonialism, caste, or religious discrimination. But the pattern is the same: systems of power protect themselves by creating laws that divide people. 

Here's another way of looking at it: if you asked a political scientist instead of me, they’d give you charts and graphs. They’d talk about voter suppression, gerrymandering, or incarceration rates. They’d say racism exists in politics because of historical legacies, blah, blah, blah — not because every lawmaker is a bigot. They’d give you data. I give you the blunt truth. Besides, you don't have to be a racist per se to create a law that negatively impacts a race of people. Sometimes greed is the simple origin of racist laws and not bigotry. "Staying in power" is the goal for a lot of politicians and if that means a few people of color suffer, then so be it.

Yes, there is racism in politics and in the laws they create. Always has been. And unless we face it, challenge it, and rewrite it deliberately, it always will be. The next time you hear someone say, “Well, the law is the law,” remember: so was slavery. So was segregation. The law doesn’t define morality — it reflects who has the power to make the rules.

👉 What do you think: are today’s laws still protecting power at the expense of justice?

Why Women Think They Can Change His Mind but Not His Wardrobe

There’s an interesting dynamic in dating that often gets overlooked: it’s usually easier to change a man’s style than his personality. Yet, when it comes to relationships, many women tend to invest their energy in the opposite direction.

Think about it. A man who’s “sweet but swagless” often gets overlooked because his presentation doesn’t match the confidence and energy women are drawn to. He might be respectful, loyal, and genuinely kind—but if his sneakers are outdated, his jeans fit like a 2005 throwback, or he just hasn’t found his style, he gets labeled as “dorky” or “boring.”

On the other hand, the man with the swagger—the one whose clothes, haircut, and presence scream confidence—often gets all the attention. He may be inconsistent, disloyal, or openly a cheater, but women will convince themselves that they can fix his mentality. They’ll buy into the project of “changing” his ways, believing their love, patience, or loyalty will reform him.

But here’s the irony: it’s infinitely harder to rewire someone’s character than to upgrade their closet.

• Wardrobe is surface-level. A haircut, new clothes, and some guidance can completely reinvent a man’s appearance and confidence within weeks.

• Personality is rooted. A cheater’s behavior patterns are tied to deeper values, habits, and choices. Trying to reform that is a long shot, and often ends in heartbreak.

The overlooked truth is that women who dismiss “sweet guys with no swag” are passing up on someone who already has the qualities that matter most in a long-term partner. Instead of trying to turn a cheater into a faithful man, why not turn a loyal “dork” into a stylish, confident version of himself?

At the end of the day, you can take a man shopping and transform his look overnight—but changing his mindset? That’s not just harder. For most, it’s impossible.