I’ll Never Be the “Cool Old Guy” And It Sucks

I’m 53 years old, and it finally hit me... I’ll never be "cool" in the eyes of young people.

When I was growing up, things were different. Older people were respected, even admired. My uncles, my elders, and even the older guys down the street had a kind of authority. They carried wisdom, life experience, and a quiet confidence that made them role models in a way. To me, they weren’t “out of touch”. They were legends. OGs.

But somewhere along the way, that changed.

Today, the younger generation doesn’t look at people my age with respect or curiosity. Instead, they often dismiss us as outdated, irrelevant, or even annoying. We’re not mentors. We’re “has-beens.” And no matter how hard I try, I’ll never be the “cool old guy” that my ancestors were to me.

When I think about my childhood, I realize why my elders had so much respect. Back then it was harder to get knowledge. Outside of an encyclopedia or a library, you were stuck. If you wanted to learn something, you had to ask someone older or more experienced.

Back then tradition mattered. Culture and family history were passed down through stories, and elders were the keepers of those stories. Family stories rarely get passed down today as they did back then. And when you factor in so many blended families in society that we have now, it's even more rare to keep up with family history.

Back then patience was taught. Life wasn’t so fast-paced. People slowed down to listen and genuinely had interest in what you had to say most of the time. And even if they weren't interested, somehow what was being said still stuck somewhere in their mind to be retrieved later.

In short, older people had something that young people needed. Not anymore.

Fast forward to now, and everything has flipped. Information is everywhere. So much of it is probably not true, but verification isn't important in present-day America. With Google, TikTok, and YouTube, young people don’t feel they need to ask anyone for guidance.

Fast forward to now, and even the trends don't last long anymore. I thought my uncles were cool in their 70's clothing but fashion rarely lasts a decade now. By the time something catches on, the next wave has already started.

Fast forward to now and getting older isn't aspirational anymore. Instead of looking forward to maturity, youth culture glorifies staying young forever. To be fair, people my age tend to enjoy the youth culture a little too much as well. Maybe that's where some of the lack of respect comes from, huh? (Message!)

It hurts to admit, but I’ve noticed it in my own life. I walk into a room of young people, and instead of being seen as someone with stories to tell or lessons to share, I’m seen as outdated background noise.

The cruel irony is this: I really wanted to grow into one of those wise, cool elders I once admired. But the role doesn’t even exist anymore—not in the way it used to. I wanted to be the guy who pointed "finger guns" towards a guy and said, "watch out there now, young fella!"

Well, maybe not to that extreme, but you get my drift.

Still, maybe there’s another side to this. Maybe being “cool” to young people shouldn’t be the goal. Maybe it’s enough to pass down values, even if they don’t seem interested now. My goddaughter is 18 years old, and she listens to me still. We'll see how long that lasts. Her brother pretty much stopped at 20 years old, but I still think that he gets what I'm saying most of the time.

Maybe it’s about leading by example, showing resilience, patience, and grace. That's always easy, right? Just exist and keep doing what I've been doing, and it will be recognized.  I can always hope.

Maybe the respect comes later, when they’re older and finally understand. Only time will tell. Maybe I won't be too senile to recognize it if it does.

Because deep down, I know my uncles weren’t “cool” because they tried to impress anyone. They were cool because they were authentic, grounded, and unapologetically themselves. And that's all I ever strive to be. The best version of me that I can offer the world.

I'll never be the “cool old guy", and it sucks. But maybe coolness is overrated. What lasts longer than cool is character. And while they may not see it now, one day they might look back and recognize the value of the people they once brushed aside.

Until then, I’ll keep living my life with the quiet dignity my elders showed me. And who knows? Maybe one day, when the noise of youth fades, wisdom will matter again.

Government Shutdown: Why Are We the Ones Being Grounded?

Here we go again. The government can’t get its act together, and guess who ends up suffering? Not the senators. Not the congressmen or women. Not the people collecting checks for showing up to argue on the 24-hour news networks. Nope. 

It’s us. 

The taxpayers. The citizens. The people just trying to live our lives without needing a freaking PhD to understand why our government keeps wetting the bed when it comes to basic functionality.

We’re watching Democrats and Republicans lock horns again. And neither side wants to appear weak. Meanwhile, air traffic controllers, TSA agents, and other federal employees are being told to show up and work for free. FOR FREE!!!

Think about that for a second. The people responsible for keeping airplanes from crashing above our heads are clocking in without paychecks. Would you show up to your job every day, on time, and focused, if you weren’t getting paid? Didn’t think so.

Now, many are calling in sick and who can blame them? That’s not laziness. That’s human nature. The result? 

• Shortages and flight delays across the country. 
• Travelers are stranded. 
• Businesses are losing money. 
• Families are missing connections. 

All because the people we elected to represent us can’t manage to pass a budget without turning it into a political hostage situation. 

And here’s the part that really runs me hot: why is our system designed this way? Why do regular people get punished when politicians fail to do their jobs? If the government can’t function, then it should be their paychecks that stop first, not ours. Why should families go without? Why should essential workers suffer? All because Washington wants to play a game of “chicken” with the nation’s wellbeing?

Then there’s the issue of how they vote. Why are they packaging hundreds of bills together and voting on them as one giant lump sum? If a bill is good enough to stand on its own, then vote on it individually. But they don’t. Because lumping it all together gives both sides cover. They can say, “Well, I didn’t want to vote against [insert good policy], but it was attached to [insert bad policy].”

That’s not governance. That’s manipulation. 

And to think that we keep putting these same people in office simply because they have a "D" or an "R" by their names. That means we're part of the problem, too. We want our party to win even if it means that "we the people lose." SMH.

And finally, the question no one in Washington wants to ask: if the people we elect can’t find common ground, why don’t we get to break the tie? If Congress can’t decide, put it to the people. Let us vote on the key issues. If this is supposed to be a government “of the people, by the people, for the people,” then maybe it’s time we started acting like it.

Until then, we’ll just keep getting grounded—literally and figuratively—while they argue over who gets the window seat in first class.

I once saw a quote that said, "A system that punishes the people for its own incompetence isn’t broken—it’s built that way."

Truer words have never been said.

Thanks to my friend, Angela Marino of Texas, for inspiring this post. 

People Lie A Lot

Not all lies are based on scams and infidelity.  Some people lie because of their pride.  As I've gotten older, I see that more often than anything else these days.  I'll give you two examples:

Men tend to do it to prevent from looking naive.  Some guys will act as if they "know-it-all" to impress you rather than admitting that they could use some help with whatever that they are doing.  Example: A guy I know started a podcast.  I've been podcasting for over a decade.  I know that the type of podcast that you wish to have and the frequency that you plan on doing it can determine what kind of setup you may need.  When he told me his plan, I told him to reach out to me if he needed some insight or advice purchasing equipment.  He told me that he had it figured out and did his research and knew exactly what he wanted to buy.

He spent almost $1300 for his podcasting equipment for something that fizzled out in less than a month.  Then he asked me if I wanted to buy any of his equipment.  I told him, "No.  I'd never spend that much on equipment in the first place unless I was making my podcast a full-time job."  His pride made him lie to me in the beginning when he said that he knew what he was doing when he didn't.  And that was a very expensive lesson to him.  I'm not saying that I'm an expert, but I do have experience, and sometimes two heads are better than one.

Women lie for pride's sake, but for different reasons.  I once worked with a young lady who would participate in relationship discussions with us in the break room from time-to-time.  She always bragged about how she is just "doing her" and isn't paying men any attention.  She said that she was abstaining from sex and would make the next man wait because "she knew her worth".  She was always the most vocal whenever we participated in the conversations.  No man was ever going to get over on her!

Well, to this day, she doesn't know that I knew the guy that she was sleeping with at the time.  Ms. Abstinence actually had a restraining order against her for stalking him and his girlfriend.  He'd already bragged to me prior to my break room conversations with her that he'd slept with her a few times and she wouldn't leave him alone and she ultimately started harassing his woman.

All while she was telling us how she was "this and that" every day, dude was passing his phone around regularly showing nude pics of her. It made me feel badly for her to wonder how many people knew she was lying about how she "handles" men.

Look, we all lie.  But it's more to it than doing so to get out of trouble these days.  Social media tends to influence some of us to appear a certain way that we're not in real life.  How many times has someone that you know very well posted something that you knew wasn't true?  More than you can count?

Guys, it's okay to say, "I don't know" instead of acting like you know what you're doing and costing yourself time and money.  Tell someone "I need your help" with something and learn to take instructions sometimes.

Ladies, you may want to reconsider some of the things you claim you do or don't do with guys because guys talk more than ever these days.  There is no longer a code that guys live by.  Don't have these guys fool you into thinking that they don't "kiss and tell" and have you looking stupid in these streets.

It's time for all of us to be adults and to stop lying.

The Mannings vs. The Sanders: Two Families, Two Cultures, One Game

If there’s one thing football has always been good at, it’s showing us who America really is. You don’t even need to look at the scoreboard — just watch how we talk about players, how we celebrate them, and how we tear them down. Nowhere is that clearer than when you compare two of the sport’s “first families”: the Mannings and the Sanders.

On one side, you’ve got the Mannings — Archie, Peyton, Eli, and the new kid on the block, Arch. The clean-cut Southern gentlemen of football. The type who’ll throw for 450 yards, four touchdowns, beat you by 28 points and still say “it was a team effort” in the postgame interview. They don’t talk trash, they don’t dance in the end zone, and they definitely don’t remind you how great they are — even though everyone already knows.

Then you’ve got the Sanders clan — Deion, Shilo, and Shedeur — the walking embodiment of “I told you so.” The shades, the chains, the music, the swagger, the showmanship. Theirs is a brand of confidence that was born in barbershops and raised on the block. It’s unapologetically loud. It’s meant to be seen. Because for generations, if you weren’t seen, you were invisible.

Here’s the thing though: neither family is wrong. They’re just different expressions of greatness. The Mannings built a legacy through quiet dominance. The Sanders built theirs through loud excellence. But our reaction to each says more about us than it does about them.

Mainstream America has always had a soft spot for the Mannings — the wholesome image, the self-deprecating humor, the humble superstar vibe. That’s the “right” way to succeed. It’s the classic narrative of the quiet professional, the humble champion. They receive the benefit of the doubt, the presumption of excellence, the infinite grace. But when Deion celebrates his way? When Shedeur points to his watch after a touchdown or posts a highlight-laced reel on Instagram? Suddenly, it’s “cocky,” “disrespectful,” or “too much.”

The contrast is cultural, not moral. In Black culture, being flashy isn’t arrogance — it’s celebration. It’s survival. It’s the way you honor the work it took to get there. Historically, culturally, the Black experience is often rooted in expressive, loud, and yes, sometimes "flashy" displays of achievement and personality. It's a style that commands attention, often because it has to. It’s the complete opposite of "act like you've been there before"; it's "let them know you're here now and you deserve to be celebrated." In white culture, aka "Mainstream America," humility is the gold standard. The Mannings fit that mold perfectly! The Sanders don’t. And that difference is exactly why one family is seen as “classy” and the other as “showy.”

When a white athlete like Peyton or Eli is reserved, it’s seen as humility. When a Black athlete like Deion or Shedeur is reserved, they can sometimes go unnoticed (ever heard of Herman Moore or Everson Walls?). But when a Black athlete is expressive and loud, it's often labeled as arrogance, a lack of respect, or a distraction. It's a double standard as old as the game itself. 

Now, fast-forward to 2025. Arch Manning and Shedeur Sanders are both trying to carve their own paths. And if we’re honest, neither has lived up to the mountain of expectations yet. But look at how the narrative plays out — Arch is “still developing,” “just needs time.” Shedeur? “Overrated,” “too distracted by fame.”

See the pattern? Same struggle, different storyline.

The Mannings represent America’s comfort zone — steady, predictable, respectable. The Sanders represent what makes America uncomfortable — confidence without apology, success that talks back. And when you line those two energies up, it’s not just football anymore. It is a cultural commentary wrapped in shoulder pads and touchdown dances.

At the end of the day, football is big enough for both. There’s room for the Manning handshake and the Sanders two-step. But the question is — can America handle both equally? Or do we still only have grace for greatness when it comes dressed in a quiet suit instead of designer shades?

Because one thing’s for sure: both families have changed the game. But only one has been allowed to do it without having to explain why.

Unhappiness is Contagious

I’ve met a ton of unhappy people in my life. People who will suck the life right out of you. And before you misunderstand, let me clarify: the “unhappy” I’m talking about isn’t the kind of sadness you feel when something genuinely tragic happens. For example, the loss of a beloved pet. No, the kind of unhappiness I mean is deeper and more insidious: “My life sucks, and I won’t feel better about myself until yours does too.”

(Side note: I've always wanted to use the word "insidious" in a sentence.)

Whether in my career or personal relationships, I’ve encountered people whose sole purpose seems to be to get out of bed and make everyone else’s life as miserable as their own. This is not just a personality quirk but more of a symptom of a larger problem. Depression and mental health struggles are pervasive in our society, and they need attention.

But here’s the thing: medicine alone isn’t always the answer. Sure, therapy and, in some cases, medication can help, but happiness often comes from simpler, everyday practices. Recreational therapy type of things like art, music, sports, and play can be incredibly effective, especially for kids. Teaching people that they don’t need certain material possessions, social status, or external validation to be happy is crucial.

"Comparison is the biggest thief of joy."  So many people look at what they see on TV, in movies, or on social media and feel like they don’t measure up. They believe that if their life doesn’t look a certain way, there’s something wrong with them. This mindset can be a breeding ground for unhappiness, creating a cycle where dissatisfaction breeds resentment. And that resentment spreads.

So, what can we do? Protecting your energy is key. Recognize when someone is trying to drag you into their negativity and set boundaries. Focus on your own growth and well-being. And remember: happiness isn’t about having everything—it’s about appreciating what you have and finding joy in the present moment.

At the end of the day, the world is full of people struggling with their own demons. But by focusing on our own joy and teaching future generations to do the same, we can break the cycle and build a culture where happiness isn’t a luxury—it’s a habit.

Stuck on Repeat

Scroll through your social media feed and take a closer look. How many of your friends are living the exact same lives they were when you first joined?

Think about it:

• They’re still single.

• They’re still “working on themselves.”

• They’re still posting motivational quotes.

• They’re still complaining about their job.

• They’re still bitter about their ex.

• They’re still… miserable.

It’s like watching a loop. Different year. Same problems. Same posts.

The truth is, social media makes it easy to create an illusion of progress. A quote here, a “new chapter” caption there. It looks like growth, but behind the screen, nothing has really changed.

Why does this happen? Change is uncomfortable, and staying the same is easy. Or a post gets likes, and that little hit of approval feels like progress. And sometimes it’s safer to keep saying “I’m working on myself” than to risk trying something new and failing.

But here’s the thing: years pass, and nothing shifts unless you do. Self-work without action is just procrastination dressed up in positivity.

So the next time you scroll and notice the same old posts, ask yourself—am I stuck too?

Because the only thing worse than watching someone else stay the same… is realizing you’ve been doing it too.

That's something that I've had to deal with when it comes to weight loss. I don't post on social media about it, but year-after-year, I'm stuck in the same place.

So know that this post isn't about judgment on others for their struggles because we all struggle with something. But sometimes it takes something grabbing your attention to realize that things are stagnant and that we want to be in a different and better place a year from now.

Is There Racism in Politics and the Laws They Create?

Let’s stop pretending for a moment. Politics is not neutral. Laws are not neutral. They are written, voted on, and enforced by people. And people bring their biases into everything they do. If a society is built on racist assumptions, then the politics and the laws of that society will reflect those same assumptions. 

If you doubt that, look at the record. Slavery was legal. Jim Crow was legal. Redlining was legal. School segregation, immigration bans based on race — all legal until someone had the courage to challenge them. The question isn’t whether racism exists in politics. The real question is: how could it not? 

Racism in lawmaking didn’t end in the 1960s. Today, we see voting restrictions that disproportionately target communities of color. We see sentencing disparities where a Black person and a white person can commit the same crime and face very different punishments. We see immigration policies that treat certain groups as more “deserving” than others. These aren’t accidents. They’re choices. And those choices protect power — usually the power of wealthy, white, and male elites. 

Politics is the art of protecting the interests of those in charge. If you’ve always had the money, the land, the education, and the connections, laws will be written to keep things that way. That’s why racism is baked into the system: it’s profitable for those who benefit from it. 

Now, I want to be clear. This post focuses on race. That means I'm currently putting less attention on other forces at play — like class, gender, or economics. And I admit, my examples are U.S.-centric, because that’s where I’ve spent my life. Other countries deal with different histories, like colonialism, caste, or religious discrimination. But the pattern is the same: systems of power protect themselves by creating laws that divide people. 

Here's another way of looking at it: if you asked a political scientist instead of me, they’d give you charts and graphs. They’d talk about voter suppression, gerrymandering, or incarceration rates. They’d say racism exists in politics because of historical legacies, blah, blah, blah — not because every lawmaker is a bigot. They’d give you data. I give you the blunt truth. Besides, you don't have to be a racist per se to create a law that negatively impacts a race of people. Sometimes greed is the simple origin of racist laws and not bigotry. "Staying in power" is the goal for a lot of politicians and if that means a few people of color suffer, then so be it.

Yes, there is racism in politics and in the laws they create. Always has been. And unless we face it, challenge it, and rewrite it deliberately, it always will be. The next time you hear someone say, “Well, the law is the law,” remember: so was slavery. So was segregation. The law doesn’t define morality — it reflects who has the power to make the rules.

👉 What do you think: are today’s laws still protecting power at the expense of justice?

Why Women Think They Can Change His Mind but Not His Wardrobe

There’s an interesting dynamic in dating that often gets overlooked: it’s usually easier to change a man’s style than his personality. Yet, when it comes to relationships, many women tend to invest their energy in the opposite direction.

Think about it. A man who’s “sweet but swagless” often gets overlooked because his presentation doesn’t match the confidence and energy women are drawn to. He might be respectful, loyal, and genuinely kind—but if his sneakers are outdated, his jeans fit like a 2005 throwback, or he just hasn’t found his style, he gets labeled as “dorky” or “boring.”

On the other hand, the man with the swagger—the one whose clothes, haircut, and presence scream confidence—often gets all the attention. He may be inconsistent, disloyal, or openly a cheater, but women will convince themselves that they can fix his mentality. They’ll buy into the project of “changing” his ways, believing their love, patience, or loyalty will reform him.

But here’s the irony: it’s infinitely harder to rewire someone’s character than to upgrade their closet.

• Wardrobe is surface-level. A haircut, new clothes, and some guidance can completely reinvent a man’s appearance and confidence within weeks.

• Personality is rooted. A cheater’s behavior patterns are tied to deeper values, habits, and choices. Trying to reform that is a long shot, and often ends in heartbreak.

The overlooked truth is that women who dismiss “sweet guys with no swag” are passing up on someone who already has the qualities that matter most in a long-term partner. Instead of trying to turn a cheater into a faithful man, why not turn a loyal “dork” into a stylish, confident version of himself?

At the end of the day, you can take a man shopping and transform his look overnight—but changing his mindset? That’s not just harder. For most, it’s impossible.