We Don’t Argue Anymore—We Perform

Remember when a disagreement was just that—a disagreement? Two people, maybe more, hashing things out over coffee, a kitchen table, or a group text that hadn’t yet turned into a battleground. Back then, the goal was clarity. Understanding. Maybe even compromise. Now? Every disagreement feels like a dress rehearsal for a TED Talk nobody asked for.

We’re not debating to understand—we’re auditioning for validation.

Scroll through any comment section and you’ll see it: folks aren’t trying to make sense, they’re trying to make noise. Every podcast clip, every stitched reaction, every “hot take” is less about truth and more about applause. It’s not “What do you think?” anymore—it’s “Watch me win.” 

We used to argue to sharpen ideas. Now we argue to trend.

And let’s be honest: it’s not about being right—it’s about being seen as right. The loudest voice usually wins, not the wisest one. The algorithm doesn’t reward nuance. It rewards volume. Certainty. Swagger. Even if it’s the dumbest thing anyone has ever seen, heard, or read.

But here’s the thing: strong thinkers don’t need an audience to be right.

They don’t need likes, shares, or followers to make sense. What they need is logic, patience, and humility—the kind of qualities that don’t get you clicks but do earn you respect. The kind of mindset that says, “I’m here to learn, not just to be heard.”

Real maturity shows up when you care more about understanding than winning. At one time understanding was the goal, right?

When you listen without rehearsing your rebuttal. When you can say, “You might have a point,” instead of “You just don’t get it.” That’s grown-folk energy, Church. That’s the kind of conversation that builds bridges instead of burning them.

Because grown folks don’t perform—they process. They listen to gain perspective. 

They don’t argue for show—they discuss for growth. They know that being loud isn’t the same as being clear. That being viral isn’t the same as being valuable.

We just have to start listening again. Not for the applause. Not for the retweets. But for the kind of understanding that doesn’t trend—but lasts. Viral is temporary. Value is forever.