Facebook No Longer About Families & Classmates

Is Facebook pulling the wool over my eyes?

Have you noticed that you rarely see a lot of status updates some of your friends leave? Facebook appears to be filtering them to add more advertisements.

The exposure of my Talk 2 Q Fan Page has been reportedly reduced to 1-2%. That means that out of my 358 fans only an average of 7 of them will see my updates on their timeline when I post.  7!  So, when I work my tail off to promote something, I have to have a lot go right in order for more than a handful of people to see my promotion.

As for the other 98% of exposure, it probably goes to places like Nike (who paid big money to have over 17 million Likes). This also contributes to why you sometimes see the same post showing at the top of your timeline as a "Recent post" despite the fact that it's hours old. It's because Facebook appears to be directing paid traffic to you first before anything else.

What was a site for seeing photos, updates and videos has now turned into Spam Central. Looks like I'll be using Google+ more and possibly dissolving my fan page. SMH.

Do you think Facebook has "jumped the shark?"

Garbage In. Garbage Out.

What do you consume on a regular basis?

I don't mean food.  I mean content.

TV.  Music.  Internet.

What does a typical day consist of in your world?

I was watching Real Time with Bill Maher the other day and he made a great point in which I'd never considered.  I can go to Yahoo! right now and pull up my home page.  If you went to Yahoo! at the same exact time, what comes up on your screen is going to be different than what comes up on mine.

Your computer personalizes what you see based on the sites that you visit.  Also, a lot of sites allow you to customize what you see.  Mix in the fact that newspapers are dying a slow death and you're left with millions of people in this country getting random information.  This is probably why so many people haven't heard of certain news stories when you mention it to them.  It probably wasn't on their customized feed.

Let's look at how this affects young people.  The average college student probably doesn't read the newspaper or watch local news.  When you consider their electronic gadget options then more than likely their homepage consists of Vine videos, Facebook status updates, tweets and entertainment news (oxymoron).

It's safe to say that a lot of young people in this country go days or even weeks without seeing a news story.  Instead their mind is constantly consuming only what they wish to view which is normally related to entertainment or social networking.  With days upon days of reality show fight clips, viral videos and Instagram Likes a person's brain essentially dumbs itself down (or never grows).

How can a person possibly expect to be a part of the outside world if they don't even live in it?

If you constantly consume garbage then that is what will constantly come out of your mouth when you speak.  It's also going to be all that you know and understand and you will not fit into some places in society because of it.  A person doesn't read Spanish and speak French.  That's not how your mind works.  What you put into it is all that you can get out of it.

There has to be a balance.  You have to get some good to offset the bad.  I love the NFL, but I have enough diversity in my life to prevent it from being all that I know.  If I go to a party, I don't have to sit around and wait for someone to bring up football just to join the discussion.  As you can see from my blog, I have the ability to discuss almost anything.

If you don't have balance then customizing your homepage or personalizing your phone can pretty much make you stupid.  If it's only garbage going in, then you can rest assure that it will only be garbage coming out.

Have you ever met a person who knows absolutely nothing about anything important?

#T2Q's Toss Up Thursday, 3/27/14 (PHOTO)

Where is Your Work Ethic?

I'm no longer the ball of energy that I once was in my 20's.  When I was 27 years old, I had a full-time job and two part-time jobs.  All of them were Monday through Friday.  So, I got up at 430 AM each day and usually made it home around 1030 PM or midnight depending on the day of the week.  I worked that crazy schedule for a year to pay off credit card debt as well as have some spending cash for partying.  I had at least two jobs from 1997 until 2006.  I wanted to eliminate debt and stockpile a savings so that when I got older life would be easier.  I knew that it was hard work, but I was willing to do it to better myself  and better my position. A lot of people don't have the same mindset these days...

Today, people want things the easy way.  They're not always willing to sacrifice their time and energy to better themselves.  They essentially want "something for nothing."  Well, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand why this is the norm now.  It's now the norm because people are able to do just that.  Get "something for nothing."

We see it with our children.  Kids have electronics that cost parents thousands per year and for what?  Well, we parents say it's for their safety.  "Little Johnny needs to be able to call home."  To me, that's translation for: "his friend has an iPhone, so we have to get him one so that he doesn't feel bad."

We see it in adults.  Guys don't have to display much chivalry and/or class to get sex from a woman now.  Why?  Because there are so many thirsty women who have little-to-no requirements to give it up.  Would you work for something that's being thrown at you?  "Yes, Johnny does cheat and sell drugs, but he can change if he becomes a father."  Translation: "I don't think that I can do any better than him."

SMH.  But, it all starts with the children.  Because today's children are tomorrow's adults, so if you fix the kids then the rest will fix itself.  Make them earn what they get.  Make them get good grades.  Make them do chores.  Make them respect themselves so that they may learn to respect others and we can nip this thing in the bud.

America needs to put a hard hat and some work boots on more than any other country right now.  Stop allowing this laziness to go on when you have the power to fix it yourself.

Are you ashamed at how lazy we've become in society?

#T2Q's Toss Up Thursday, 3/20/14 (PHOTO)

All Wives Are Trophy Wives

How many times have you heard the term "she's a trophy wife?"  It's supposed to mean that she's "for show" like a brand new car or something.  Something to go on the man's arm to give him a look of success.  "Street cred" or "Board Room Cred" or whatever you wish to call it.  It's showing her off in a physical way.  But, let's take this concept a little deeper, shall we?  Aren't all wives "trophy wives?"  If not, then you married the wrong woman, bro!

A trophy is something you show off because you're proud of it.  It shows a personal achievement.  Isn't that how we should view our significant other?

If you don't feel as if you've accomplished something when you marry a woman then she's not worthy of being your wife.  Period.  We all want someone who makes us look good and it doesn't have to be in a physical sense although that's apart of it for some.  A wife can make you look good by projecting a side that you as a husband want the world to see.  When people are impressed with her then they're impressed with you!  That's just how it works and not just for the man either.  The two represent each other.  But, since I'm a dude, I'm going to give my perspective.  If some of my lady readers want to take a shot at what they may call a "trophy husband" then have at it.

You can have a woman who looks like Meagan Good, but a man should appreciate her as a mother.  And just about any guy who didn't have an abusive mom loves her to death, right?  As the nurturer of the children, she represents so much more than just being a parent.

She is the first love of any person born into this world.  Once a mother embraces her child then a bond is created that should be stronger than almost anything in this world.  Being a mother is being the essence of life.  Why do you think that we refer to this planet as "Mother Earth" or the climate as "Mother Nature?"  Nothing can thrive in life and truly reach its potential without the care of a mother.

She's the beginning of existence and that within itself is the greatest trophy of all.

She can look like Stacy Keibler, but a man should appreciate her as a scholar.  Her education can benefit the man in so many ways.  It could lead to her creativity as a designer when it comes to the home or her fashion.  Her ability to think outside the box can lead to a style of her own that people will find an appreciation for in some shape, form or fashion.

It can also mean more money in the household if she is a driving force in Corporate America.  After all, "higher learning equals higher earning," right?  A woman who is smart and self-sufficient is something that should make any man proud.

She can look like Lucy Liu, but she should also be appreciated for generating a lady-like aura.  You can recognize a real woman when she enters the room.  She's not concerned with who is looking and why.  She projects confidence, style and elegance.  How she speaks and carries herself is worth just as much as her beauty.

Grace and poise is something that was once a staple when it comes to raising a woman, but it's not as cherished as the days of old.  So many people fail to raise women to be women these days.  Having a wife who mesmerizes the room with her grace and poise like a young Elizabeth Taylor is something to make a man puff out his chest with pride.

It makes sense to want her on your arm because of how she makes you feel when other people see and talk to her.  Looks fade unless you're Lena Horne.  Being a trophy wife should be more than just a man with an attractive woman.  Unless you want a marriage that is as shallow as you are.

Do you think that being a trophy wife means more than just looking the part?

#T2Q's Toss Up Thursday, 3/13/14 (PHOTO)

How Women Lose Their Queen Status

When a man loves a woman he elevates her to another level. She's unlike any other woman which is what makes her so special to him. But, what causes a man to lose that vision that he has of his perfect angel? It can be quite a few things that can knock a woman down from her pedal and 99% of the time it's of her own doing. It's a shame how women lose their queen status sometimes.

Men have a hard time committing.  We have a huge fear of things changing after saying "I do."  She'll stop dressing sexy.  She'll start coming to bed in over-sized flannel pajamas instead of the sexy panties she once wore.  She'll stop cooking.  She'll monopolize your time.  The list goes on.  These are things guys honestly fear because every guy knows plenty of men who deal with some or all of those things in their life.

However, at some point in a long term relationship we do reach that point of commitment.  We realize that it's something about this particular one that makes her different than all of the others.  She becomes a queen.  At this point it appears as if she can do no wrong.  You're constantly thinking of her and wanting to do things for her.  You schedule your entire life around her.  And then it happens...

She does something stupid.

• She attempts or successfully cheats.  Well, that's self-explanatory.
• She embarrasses him.  Drawing attention to yourself for the wrong reasons (being loud, having a bad attitude, publicly "putting him in his place," etc.) can all lead to being single.  You rarely get a man back once you emasculate and/or humiliate him.  He should never feel ashamed of you.
• Not giving 100% in the relationship.  If a man who treats you like a queen is treated less than a king, then it can lead to a demotion.  Make sure that your efforts mirror his.  Don't let him feel as if his efforts are unappreciated or in vain.  Reciprocate whenever you can.  Men like to smile, too.  Don't say "thank you" and think that he'll be okay with that each and every time.  Over time even that can become hollow.
• Putting him 2nd.  Everyone has a busy life, but when he starts to feel slighted then you run the risk of someone else stealing the spotlight from you.  If you can't be with him as much as you once could then at least make the most of the time that you can spend with him.  Make sure that you prioritize your time and that he's a part of it.  Men generally enjoy having free time which means he'll be okay with your schedule as long as he's a part of it.
• You're not there for him.  This kind of goes with the last one that I listed.  Men are notorious for not communicating, but we do have our moments.  If he wants to talk and you don't want to or have time to listen then over time he'll find someone who will.  The average guy doesn't come home from work with some crazy story like some stereotypes say about women.  But when he does then he'll expect you to grant him an audience as he may have done for you in times past.
• You don't support him.  Sure his garage band will probably never sign a record deal.  You still should be his biggest fan.  Regardless if you like his talents or not you should still do what you can to help him reach whatever that dream is.  You may not attend every performance, but you can help pass out flyers or whatever is needed to push it along.  As long as whatever the hobby is isn't affecting the house note then try to be supportive in his endeavors.  It's keeping him occupied.
• You smother him.  This will scare a man out of a relationship quicker than anything.  We've heard some ladies say "my man is my best friend."  It's not what a couple should want out of their relationship.  Your man is your man and nothing else.  You wouldn't run to your man when you're having problems with him, would you?  Stop thinking that you have to constantly be in his face like you're living a lifelong slumber party.  He needs his space and frankly, so do you.  Allow time to be away from one another so that you can appreciate each other that much more when you come back together.  Don't let work be your only break from him.  
• Listen to him.  Men are solution-oriented.  It doesn't mean that we're always right because we're not.  It just means that in order for us to have peace of mind we will work hard to figure something out.  We don't like to sweep things under the rug because we know that only leads to a lumpy carpet.  If a man ever offers constructive criticism to you then at least pay attention to it.  You may not agree, but if you get defensive about it then it can lead to trouble later.  He'll just stop telling you if there's something about you or something that you do that he doesn't like.  Once he decides to keep those things bottled inside to avoid hurting your feelings or facing conflict then at some point it will all come out in a most unpleasant way.  No one likes having their feelings hurt, but if it can make you a better person then why not listen?  If he feels as if he can't talk to you about certain things then you two really don't have much of a relationship, do you? 

Most guys don't ask for much.  We like food, sex and peace.  Three simple things can help us get through even the toughest of weeks.  If we lack any of those three then we're probably not going to be completely happy.  Some guys value one of those three things more than the other so ladies may want to figure that out and focus on it.  If he likes your cooking then why wouldn't you cook for him whenever possible?  If he enjoys making love with you then why deprive him (and yourself) of it?  If he embraces peace then don't meet him at the door after work with a problem that isn't even important.  His actions show that he wants to be with you.  Don't let your actions change that.

Also, let me add that this post doesn't apply to guys who are habitual cheaters, woman beaters, drunks, etc.  You can do everything right and still not please guy like that.  You should avoid those type of guys anyway.  This post applies to good guys who actually want to get married someday.  The good guys who aren't afraid of commitment and family.

This blog post isn't from a place of "a machismo dude putting women in their place."  Those who read me regularly know that I'm very blunt when it comes to almost anything that I discuss.  This post is to help ladies understand why guys lose interest.  It helps to understand why his mind seems as if it's always elsewhere.  It helps to find out why he always seems happiest when you're not around.  It helps to figure out why he dated you for two years yet married someone else after dating her for only 8 months.

It may seem somewhat harsh and that's unintentional, but it's the truth based on what I've seen in my 42 years on this planet.  And I'd love to read a female version of what men can do to lose "king status" from a woman.

So, if you left my page thinking to yourself, "who is he to tell me how I should treat a man?" then you're probably not queen material anyway.

Is it wrong or too much pressure for a man to view his woman as a queen?

#T2Q's Toss Up Thursday, 3/6/14 (PHOTO) @TwinPeaksGirl vs. @Hooters

Who has the more sexier servers?

You're Too Young for A Boyfriend!

There's a reason why God never blessed me with kids.  Especially a daughter.  I guess there's also a reason I don't have a sister.  Especially a little sister.  Why?  Because I'm way too overprotective.  Waaayyyyy too overprotective...

Look, I realize that I have a problem which is the first step to correcting it.  I'll even go as far to say that I'm not as bad as I once was.  However, I still think that kids need to be kids and focus on that grown up stuff later in life.

This weekend I really wanted to see my god kids.  I try to make it a point these days to spend some time with them at least once a month, but because I was transitioning to a new job, my schedule has been crazy as of late.  So, I took advantage of some free time and decided to spend the day with them.  My god son is 11 and my god daughter is 7.

We decide to get breakfast at Cracker Barrel and although I don't remember how the subject came up, my god son mentioned to me that his little sister had a boyfriend.  Of course, I thought that it was a joke, so I just laughed.  Then my god daughter said, "No, I have two boyfriends."

Two?  As in 1+1?  Wait.  Surely she means SpongeBob and Big Bird, right?  Oh, how I wish that were true.  No, she meant some boy in her school and some kid who used to be in her school who now lives in Nashville.  I really didn't know what to say.  The girl who I wanted to stay single until at least 38 years old actually uses the term "boyfriend"?  I wasn't ready.  I thought that I had another five years at least.  I guess that's not how this new generation works.

So, instead of alienating her in the future I'll have to adapt.  I'll have to be more accepting of the fact that kids are doing things 10x faster than when I was their age.  I'll still keep a close eye, but I won't go 'Liam Neeson' on a dude for trying to get her phone number.

I think I passed my first test on yesterday when I attended a birthday party.  My lady's daughter recently turned 14 and she had a gathering at a local restaurant to celebrate with her friends.  One of her friends is a boy who I was told happened to be her ex-boyfriend.  Well, now this ex is her "best friend" which could mean anything coming from a teen.  But, I didn't give the boy the "Al Bundy treatment" or anything.  I was cordial with him and through a brief conversation discovered that I actually kind of liked the kid.

That is until he shows up in the near future at some other event.  Yes, my protectiveness extends to my lady's kids, too.  Despite the lack of matching DNA, I treat them as my own.  As for my god daughter, I know her father will keep an eye on her, so I'll just continue to play my role as godfather and report to him when necessary.  The one thing that I do feel comfortable about is that when my god daughter saw a James Bond poster in my man cave from the movie, "Dr. No," she described a woman on the poster as "nasty" and "naked."

Ah, how refreshing to know that there's still some innocence left!  "That's right, pumpkin.  That woman is 'nasty' for wearing that." (smirks)

What do you think is a reasonable age for the average child to start dating?