Monday, September 9, 2013

Sex is Why You're Single

"None of this until you mow the lawn, Mr.!
Sometimes, I understand why some women are single.  They have the complete wrong idea on what it takes to establish and maintain a relationship.  I watched a YouTube video recently of something an associate of mine put together and I shook my head almost during the entire 32 minute video.

Seven women were sitting around acting like they were know it alls when it came to men.  The women appeared to range from ages 25-40 and the amount of ignorance in their speech was staggering!

There was so much bitterness and anger in some of their voices.  They talked about not giving engagement rings back, men and strippers, and other things.

However, it didn't take me long to figure out why there was so much bitterness and anger in them.  In fact, it stood out to me like a "quadricorn."  The one constant that I saw in the video was the reference of sex.  Almost all of the women in the video subconsciously considered sex as a bargaining tool.  I heard so many examples of it:

"He won't take me out to eat, but he thinks he's getting sex?"
"I'm not giving his engagement ring back if I don't marry him.  He can't give my sex back!"
"As long as I'm 'putting it down' in the bedroom, he ain't going nowhere!"

Those are just a few of the things that I heard that opened my eyes to why so many women are single.  Someone once told me that "sex is a weapon that always misfires."  That's a very true statement.  The moment that a woman says or insinuates that she's "giving" a man something, when it comes to intimacy, is the moment she lowers herself in the eyes of the man.  The guy may not even realize it himself, but it happens.

She may think that she's the "best he's ever had," but that doesn't matter.  Keep in mind that men don't cheat for "better," they cheat for "different."  You can have Grade-A stuff and he may still cheat with Grade-C stuff just because her hair color is different or she's six inches taller.

A man can have sex with no emotional attachments.  That's why it's so easy for guys to go from partner-to-partner with no conscious.  If a woman treats sex as a conditional reward, then how is she separating herself from the masses?  I hate to put it this way, but the analogy fits: "A dog only begs when he knows that he's getting a treat."  No treat?  No effort.  That's what's being created in that type of environment.

Sex is an intimacy that should be shared.  If you and your man do not experience sex as one, then you're voluntarily grouping yourself with every other woman out there.  You're reducing yourself to: quid pro quo (this for that).  That isn't healthy in a relationship.  If the two of you aren't getting enjoyment out of sex, then maybe you're not for each other.  However, if it's enjoyable when you do have it, then why hold on to it until the light bulb in the kitchen is changed?  Don't take the mindset of, "if I can't have what I want done then no one is happy."  What are you, 12?

A man should treat his woman like a queen because he feels that she is one.  Not only because he wants sex.  Because once he realizes that she's treating sex as a reward, then he'll start rationing out his good behavior only when he wants intimacy.

Do you think that bargaining with sex can be self-destructive for women?

"I'm not cooking and giving him sex, too. He has to give up at least one."


  1. Hey, what is the name of that 32 minute video you've seen? Now I'm pretty interested.

    1. Hey! I thought that I replied once before. I guess when I changed commenting systems, it disappeared. I'll have to look for it again because I'm afraid that I don't recall.

    2. ok. most appreciated. when you find it can you email it to me?
      the email is

    3. ok. most appreciated. when you find it can you email it to me?
      the email is


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