Saturday, March 24, 2012

How Close Do You Keep Them?

From the 1995 must-see movie, "Kids."
I'm not a parent, but I know plenty. The struggles they have with their kids are many, but everyone has their own style of parenting. What works for one could be appalling to the next. For example: spanking. It worked for me when I was growing up, but some people view it as child abuse.

Since there are so many styles of parenting, it's very difficult to say which method is right or wrong. Especially since each child is different. But, how far will a parent go to keep an eye on their children as they grow into the teen years? How close do you keep them when it comes to more "adult decisions."

Would you allow your child to have sex in your house? How about getting drunk? Or smoking weed? Some of you are re-reading that and freaking out. However, there are some parents who think it's okay to let their kid do something that may seem immoral or even illegal as long as it's within the confines of the home. Some parents think that as long as they know about it, then they can control it.

There was a parent of one of my high school classmates who used to buy her son cigarettes. She said that she would rather buy them for him than have him sneak and do it. Is there a difference just because she knows?

Would some of you be okay with your daughter/son having sex in the house as opposed to someone's backseat or a seedy motel?

What about marijuana? Would you rather take the risk of purchasing the dope for your child than to have them in the streets with no experience?

What's your style of parenting?

12 comments:

  1. Geez, Q...you've just caused me to have a mild anxiety attack thinking about how I'm gonna have to deal with the hooligan in a few years!! I think the key word here is "parent" vs "friend."

    No, you can't have sex in my house - I'm not your roommate; I pay the damned bills around here. No - you can't drink booze or smoke cigarettes in my house (and I'm not buying them for you - we aren't "homies" - I am your mom, dammit!) - I could go to jail for that shit - what am I trying to do - TEACH you that it's okay to break the law? And HELL TO THA NO, you can't smoke weed up in my crib or anywhere else for that matter - if you want to experiment and try it - you wait till you're 18 and out of my damned house. One of my favorite things to tell the hooligan whenever he questions anything is, "BECAUSE I'M THE MOM!" If I do anything to make you think we're friends (like letting your girlfriend spend the night, or buy you beer or cigarettes) - then that makes it more difficult to enforce my status as your Mom. I was raised in a very strict household - too strict, actually. I would ease up on a few things with the hooligan (I'm one of those folks who despises spanking - and yes I was spanked) - but one thing is for sure - I always knew who was the parent in my house.

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    1. (Applause!) My favorite line is "we aren't 'homies'!" LOL! Yeah, I think some parents blur the line between parent and "homie" which can lead to kids not understand authority figures (IMO).

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  2. NOT AT THAT AGE! Where were any of the parents? I would "hope" that when my kids are 12, I would be more in tuned with what they're up to, who they hang out with, etc. And then be able to talk to them about some realities. Christ, that movie was disturbing. Truly awful.

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    1. Yeah, "Kids" was a disturbing movie, but an eye-opener. I think every kid should be forced to watch that movie at 16.

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  3. As a soon to be Dad I have every intention of being laid back and cool...however no plan ever lasts first contact with the enemy so I'll probably be making it up as I go along...

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    1. I'm sure that most people do. And congrats on being a new dad. It's hard being a parent, but I think some moms and dads forget that they are parents when their kids reach a certain age.

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  4. Q. What Reck and Lady E said. Plus, I'm big on "do as I say, and pretend you didn't see me when I (fill in the blank).

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    1. LOL! Yeah, some parents think that you should never say that to kids, but it worked for me. My parents used it all of the time.

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  5. No kids here, but I believe no kid is too good for a good ole a-- whooping when its called for. I think nowadays talking to your kids gets the message, but a spanking never hurts either providing its warranted. My parents were pretty easy going about some stuff and wouldn't tolerate other stuff. I knew and saw allot of stuff that my friends did and I just "chose" differently. I watched them go through it and it was enough for me to say, "why would I want the same result?".

    Parents are different these days and even yelling isn't ok for some. I think some kids are just plain hard-headed and know how to push their parents button to get what they want anyway, but as they get older, they still need to know who's boss if they still live at home. My mother use to always tell me if you think you know more than me, "there is the door". That usually got me to shut up because at the end of the day, mom was always right.

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    1. Exactly. Mom is usually right every time. I just don't think kids know how to negotiate to be given that option. So, someone has to be the law in the household and if the parents aren't going to do it, then who will? Society? Things get a lot rougher once the kid leaves the nest. The world will chew you up and spit you out without an understanding of authority.

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  6. Allowing your child to participate in reckless, irresponsible behavior in your home is teaching them to become reckless and irresponsible adults. They will only learn that it's okay to be late for work, or not have a job at all, or any other bad behavior that adults practice. Whatever happened to I'm the parent and you're the child?

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    1. "I'm the parent and you're the child" has gone the way of the dinosaur. Now it's "Son, why won't you accept my Facebook invite?"

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